Farting and the proper response

JDMPWR

For some reason my mother thought as a child that I should apologize for farting. I almost compare it to sneezing. So today I was reading this interesting book called "Stuff Every Man Should Know" and in there it says that you should pretend it didn't happen or not acknowledge it at all.

What do you ladies and gents think?

I personally live by the Golden Rule of Farting that I learned in JRHS, which is, Who smelts it, who dealt it. PLUS I have no sense of smell so I can never tell how rank it is so I instantly assume that none of them smell. Feel bad for my secretary.

skittybang

Agreed! I used to have a little fun with my SBD's... I'll be chatting with a group of women and let one rip. Slowly you see everyone's faces change, but NO ONE says a thing!! You don't acknowledge it, it's like it never happened . They probably thought they were being polite, but really they were just lame. I would scream out... "OMG! Kelly, WHAT did you EAT?!?" haha!

JennaM222

I wouldnt know, I only toot in my sleep - or says my one night stands.

JDMPWR

I wouldnt know, I only toot in my sleep - or says my one night stands.

So thats how I caught cold and to think I just thought that gust of air was from the open window.

peejie

I usually compliment the farter. For instance, " Good thing I am standing upwind of that marvelous blasting anthem of methane." or "Good show, chap! I think they felt that in Spain!"

Disclaimer: May not be appropriate in some situations, with some people.

EmpressOfJudgment

This is the only time I get prissy and uptight. I don't think you should subject other people to this bodily function. And I definitely don't think it's funny. It makes me gag.

JDMPWR

This is the only time I get prissy and uptight. I don't think you should subject other people to this bodily function. And I definitely don't think it's funny. It makes me gag.

This I dont understand at all. How are you supposed to stop it? Jam your hand up your *kitten* and use it as a cork? The best I could do is waddle-run, clenching butt cheeks as I do so....

EmpressOfJudgment

I don't fart in front of other people (unless I'm sleeping and unaware). It can be done. Are you that freaking gassy? Maybe you have a lactose intolerance.

I'm pretty laid back, but I'm not going to lie and pretend to think farts are funny so dudes on a message board think I'm cool. It's not my thing. If it is your thing, fine. But you asked. And I'm being honest.

MissO﹠A

If I hear a seam-ripping fart, my instantaneous reaction is to say loudly, "God-DAMN!" That's followed by copious amounts of laughter.

What I hate are the prissy *****es who let those silent stench from the bungholes of death slip when they're out shopping and act like they've done nothing. If you're gonna drop one of those on the unsuspecting public at least have the common decency to laugh loud enough whilst flapping your hands around like a lunatic and shouting "Oooo-WEEEEEE. I musta dropped a load up in here." I don't appreciate walking into a cloud of anal-stank.

chels1605

You should say "pardon me" but you shouldn't fart in front of people you're not close it.

I also say "bless me" when i sneeze too and always apologise because i sneeze loudly.

brewingaz

This is the only time I get prissy and uptight. I don't think you should subject other people to this bodily function. And I definitely don't think it's funny. It makes me gag.

Really? You posting this is making me laugh my *kitten* off!

JDMPWR

I think cropdusting is going to find it's way onto My Top 50 Best Traits, right under getting out of Chicago Parking Tickets!

JDMPWR

You should say "pardon me" but you shouldn't fart in front of people you're not close it.

I also say "bless me" when i sneeze too and always apologise because i sneeze loudly.

I am not religious so when people sneeze I say good luck and smirk

EmpressOfJudgment

This is the only time I get prissy and uptight. I don't think you should subject other people to this bodily function. And I definitely don't think it's funny. It makes me gag.

Really? You posting this is making me laugh my *kitten* off!

*BURP*

lilRicki

I giggle and blush when I fart infront of my man, other then that it's a "*kitten* me, excuse me I have the farts"....those that know me know that everything gives me the sh!ts, I can't help it...it's not that I'm unlady like, most of the time I pretend it wasn't me...but my closests friends and family know better...I sit at the reception desk by myself, so I let them rip constantly (like today because I ate WAY to many grapes and now my guts are rotten)...I know they stink, but if someone comes to my desk, I pretend that my area doesn't smell like rotten sewage, and if someone has something to say about "what's that smell" I tell them the stinky courier was just here...

Micheller1210

If you need to pass gas , excuse yourself to the bathroom where it is appropiate...your not in Jr. High. Be Polite, and eating a clean diet eliminates most gas issues check out the book you are,what you eat by Gillian McKieth. Or her TV program great info....

brewingaz

If you need to pass gas , excuse yourself to the bathroom where it is appropiate...your not in Jr. High. Be Polite, and eating a clean diet eliminates most gas issues check out the book you are,what you eat by Gillian McKieth. Or her TV program great info....

Soooo is brocolli not a part of a clean diet? Because that'll getcha good!

EmpressOfJudgment

Obviously you just can't help it sometimes. But I have friends who will get everyone's attention and do a little pose as they rip one. That's funny when your 8 years old, but as an adult...not so much.

I realize I sound like a big old prude here.

JDMPWR

If you need to pass gas , excuse yourself to the bathroom where it is appropiate...your not in Jr. High. Be Polite, and eating a clean diet eliminates most gas issues check out the book you are,what you eat by Gillian McKieth. Or her TV program great info....

So not true. I have the diet of a bodybuilder and rip it all day long. Not one ounce of anything unnatural.

JDMPWR

If you need to pass gas , excuse yourself to the bathroom where it is appropiate...your not in Jr. High. Be Polite, and eating a clean diet eliminates most gas issues check out the book you are,what you eat by Gillian McKieth. Or her TV program great info....

Soooo is brocolli not a part of a clean diet? Because that'll getcha good!

EXACTLY

lilRicki

by far my favorite thread...I eat very healthy, my body just likes to produce gas I guess...If I had to excuse myself to the bathroom every time I needed to let one rip, I'd be in there all damn day.

JDMPWR

Obviously you just can't help it sometimes. But I have friends who will get everyone's attention and do a little pose as they rip one. That's funny when your 8 years old, but as an adult...not so much.

I realize I sound like a big old prude here.

My dog lifts his leg to fart. I wish I could lay claim to me teaching him that but he is just bad *kitten* on his own.

brewingaz

Obviously you just can't help it sometimes. But I have friends who will get everyone's attention and do a little pose as they rip one. That's funny when your 8 years old, but as an adult...not so much.

I realize I sound like a big old prude here.

But you're pretty laid back

MissO﹠A

My dog lifts his leg to fart. I wish I could lay claim to me teaching him that but he is just bad *kitten* on his own.

Mine just does the old standard "lets rip whilst asleep, wakes self up and walks out of the room" leaving me to breath in her Eau de As s hole.

LOVEsummer

OMG I am doing the "laughing hysterically while in your office so no one knows you are having fun at work".... JESSSSUS!

OK I think farting is rude if someone is doing it purely to be gross and loud. Maybe I am just scarred from being the youngest in my fam and getting farted on more than once.

I eat a very healthy diet but seriously, I am GASSY.

I try to excuse myself and let them rip in the bathroom or outside but sometimes you just can't hold it in. I think it's fine to ignore it unless it smells in which case that's your call- own up to it or totally blame it on the dog ;-)

I try really hard not to fart in front of the bf b/c I would die.

True story:
He and I were on vacation wine tasting with his fam and I took a whole bunch of aspirin for my cramps... I didn't know it then, but I am allergic so he had to rush me to the hospital. Once we got to the emergency room and I was waiting to be admitted... I knew I had to puke so I ran over to the trashcan, leaned into it and proceeded to puke up my breakfast AND fart REALLY loud at the same time. He has never ever mentioned it, what a saint.

shanolap

LMAO!~!!

My husband makes a production out of it...lifts leg and does a slow fist pump, then goes "Whewwwwwwwww, That was a good one!"

taldie01

So should I say bless you to my husband when he farts? (which is way to often) Wait this might encourage him better not

JDMPWR

^^^Towelie I think a "ATTABOY" is more appropriate!

lilRicki

my dad always says "oo kiss for ya"...or he pretends he's shooting a gun...I find myself still laughing but saying "geez dad you're gross"

crazymama2two

OHGAWD my daughter farts like my husband and i SUHWEAR they have contests - im used to it but sometimes, you know, im a little jealous that i can't just fart on command

fionat29

I was taught as a child to clench ones buttocks until it was safe to let it go. However, 20 years ago I married my husband and he doesn't believe in holding in anything, fart, burp, you name it he'll just let rip so I've kind of relaxed into it. Sorry if it offends but I too am a very windy person. Too much healthy food I guess.:blushing: