Bodily Peace

seekingbodilypeace

Hello--
I'm new to this forum/site. Six years ago, I weighed 118 lbs. I was fit as a fiddle in terms of my physique.

Then I got pregnant. Then I went on bedrest. Then we learned that our daughter had health/developmental issues. I felt alone--even with an incredibly supportive husband and family. When I was on bedrest, I ate out of boredom. I told myself I'd be able to take the weight off no problem. Nobody told me that my metabolism would do a disappearing act.

Dealing with a child with serious health/developmental issues was emotionally exhausting. I fueled my days with foods. All of the wrong kinds of foods. And at night when I would burn up google researching her conditions, I would always have an ungodly amount of sweets to dull the fear in the pit of my stomach.

I told myself, because my daughter couldn't walk, that I didn't have time to exercise or take care of myself. And I continued to binge.

Then I had another baby. I actually didn't gain any weight during this pregnancy. I waited till after to gain that weight. Even with breastfeeding, I still gained.

Over the past few years, I have gone on a journey. I have explored every nook and cranny of my being. I have made changes to my person. I have owned up, smartened up, stepped up... and FATTENED up.

I am proud of the person that I've become in so many ways. But I cannot seem to make right my relationship with food. I have started avoiding seeing old friends and am embarrassed to meet new people. Honestly, I don't care how I look. This is about my health. I am ashamed of myself for letting myself become so unhealthy. I feel like an irresponsible parent as I am jeopardizing my life and therefore the well being of my children.

For all these years, I have told myself that it was temporary. I really felt like a skinny person in my own mind. But it is about 6 years that I have been living as an obese woman. Something needs to change and it needs to change now.

That's me and why I am here....

Jade1964

Welcome!!!! Feel free to add me if you are looking for friends.