A Letter From Your Belly Fat

kirstinkrueger
kirstinkrueger Posts: 346
edited September 28 in Chit-Chat
Dear Friend,
​
This is a letter from your ol' pal, belly fat. You really don't want to llose me, your belly fat. After all, we had a great run this summer, didn't we? Lots of good times, great food, and plain ol' sitting around eating too much.

Well, I'm thinking about sticking around another year if you don't mind. But you might need to get a bigger pair of pants, as I was thinking about expanding my place down here. So can you do me a favor, and avoid that "healthy lifestyle" thing you were thinking of doing. The last time you did that stuff, I nearly had to look for a new place to live. I felt like the Wicked Witch of the West in the land of Oz. Did you hear me yelling, "Help me, I'm melting!"?

Another thing, keep listening to those experts who say strength training doesn't burn body fat. Since research shows they're wrong, if you added strength training to your program, you'd practically need to throw me a going away party! I'm glad you really don't want to lose me.

After each one of those superset workouts you tried last January it felt like someone lit a match under our collective butt. I was burning up down here! But boy oh boy, I am sure was glad you gave that up and went back to just lifting utensils and not dumbells. Otherwise we wouldn't have been able to celebrate another summer together this year.

Sometimes I wonder, what did you ever do in college without me, your trusted belly fat? Back then, you were probably one of those people that couldn't wait to get to the beach to show off your body, not like these days. Nope, stay in the shade and keep the cover-up clothes on, that's the way to go now. Besides, its a lot closer to the cold beer and the BBQ when you're sitting in the shade avoiding all the fun down on the beach. Oh the good times we have had!

Well, it sure was good catching up with you. I'm sure we'll be in touch more often, as long as you stay away from that healthy eating and workouts. Brings a tear to my eye whenever I even think about that workout and eating program and all the belly fat it's burned. Heck, it's fried more belly fat than a frying pan! Poor guys, being thrown out and left behind.

So again, if you want to keep your dear old belly around for another year and another summer, don't do it. Otherwise, its all over pal, and you'll never see me again.


Your friend and spare tire,

Belly Fat

PS - Seriously, don't keep trying, unless you want to see me, Thunder Thighs, Manboobs, Jigg Lee Arm Fat, and Luv Handles pack our bags and hit the highway. It will be a sad farewell, and you'd be stuck with ripped abs, gorgeous glutes, and toned arms, and you know how much attention those guys get from the opposite sex. Who needs it, I say.

Replies

This discussion has been closed.

Categories