i need to be honest .....

beccaboo315

So I have a bit of a confession, and I figured that non of you actually know who I am and its a site where I feel I can be open because its a "judgment free zone". Since I was probably 10-11 I developed an eating disorder. I am an emotional eater, over eater, whatever you want to name it. And I have been struggling since then. I am now 21. I joined MFP not really expecting to stick with it or be able to even come close to my calorie goal. But its been 11 days and I have had ZERO "binges" and I haven't really even wanted too. I started off weighing 204and I'm 5'7. 11 days later I'm 197.2 !! Seeing the results on the scale is such a boost of confidence and it makes me want to keep it up. The point of this posting was to ask if anyone else has been through this and if it has worked, I've had someone tell me that once I have an eating disorder ill always have it and diets won't work for me. I'm trying so hard to prove them wrong. Also, eating the way I did put a huge toll on my body, leaving me with uncountable stretch marks and cellulite. I feel like ill never be confident enough to wear shorts, bathing suits or even tank tops. Does anyone have any advise for me?

Thank you

bleachcse

I have the same thing. To be honest, after 10 years of trying to get this weight off I'm still struggling. But at least I'm still working at it. One of these days I'll beat it for good. I can't wait for that day to come! Just keep going. Don't let it beat you.

shesnotthere

You're doing great! I have similar issues and I haven't "binge" eaten really once since starting MFP. I think it's because you stop and think about logging it and then you think about WHY you want to eat. I've made a bunch of other changes in my life since starting MFP. It's amazing what something so simple can change in your life.

oBirdieo

We have a lot in common (look at my diary yesterday!!!). I binge eat and while I'm not 100% "cured", MFP has helped tremendously. I've lost 16 pounds in 7 weeks and I'm absolutely certain that MFP is the reason for this success. I still have a very long way to go, but I'm much more conscious of the decisions I'm making because I know people can see my diary. Yes, I've had a couple of bad days, but a couple of bad days out of 7 weeks is nothing compared to the way I WOULD have been eating had I not found MFP!

MrsRobertson1005

I can't offer any advice, I'm wondering how to get rid of my stretch marks and all that jazz too but I can offer encouragement. You are doing amazing! And hopefully as you become healthier your confidence will increase and you won't be worried about how you look in shorts or swim suits, you'll be happy with you

jpierce8806

An eating disorder is something that many struggle with for year....the point is...you're trying! And Succeeding!!
My sister had anorexia for 3 years....she is now very healthy...she said to me that every once in a while she thinks about it...but tries to push it out of her mind...she's been healthy for almost 10 years now. You CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!

nosey_rosey

I have been the girl that "eats my feelings" Thank you to all my MFP buddies I am down 22lbs(almost 23) and have been staying on track everyday!!! I also have strech marks and cellulite!! My strech marks are from HUGE babies but the cellulite is all on me! I have noticed a huge difference on the cellulite and strech marks. Keep doing what you are doing girl and it WILL get better!! Shorts and swimsuits are my worst fear... and tanktops well ummmm Im getting there. Just remember you are doing this for YOU and YOU alone! Your body will look so much better and your confidence will come in time! Feel free to add me!

bean177

You're doing great! I have similar issues and I haven't "binge" eaten really once since starting MFP. I think it's because you stop and think about logging it and then you think about WHY you want to eat. I've made a bunch of other changes in my life since starting MFP. It's amazing what something so simple can change in your life.

Absolutely - the thinking about it and being "accountable" on this site works amazingly well. I don't want to be embarrassed by having to post that I broke down and ate a candy bar (which I didn't), but it makes me THINK before I EAT. Emotional eater for life... you can do it!!!

smketchum

I think you are extremely brave for 1) tackling this issue and wanting to get your life back and 2) for admitting your struggle. We are ALL flawed and have battles. You just need to take one day at a time and never give up on yourself. You can do this and it may always be a struggle, but that doesn't mean you can't fight and win! Believe in yourself and stop the negative talk...I can't change....I can't stop......I will never be able to......none of that is allowed in your vocabulary. A bad day is a bad day, but it does not dictate your strenght or abilities. So when you fall (and you will, because you are human), you get back up and know that you can do what you set your mind to!!!! Congratulations on your new journey

debdptg

I have been thru this for 50 years, so I know what you are talking about. You will never be 'cured', but you can learn to have a good, happy life by being in control of your self. One of the best benefits of MFP is that it puts knowledge and contol in your hands. Many of us who are 'nervous eaters' do well when we can control things and only binge when we feel out of control.

One word of caution. When you start out, it is always easy to loose the first few pounds. I don't know if they are water weight, or just a suprise to your body, but they fall off quick and give you a good boost. But, what often happens is that after a week or two, the quick losses stop and the slow, very slow, losses happen. Your body adjusts, adapts, and fights the weight loss.

Just know that you have to stick with it thru those harder times - you will break thru if you stick to the plan and keep going. Don't try to starve yourself, or give up and binge. Stick to the plan, work through the plateaus, and the satisfaction will come.

Friend me if you want some support - and have a little fun along the way.

hatton80

Your doing great, stick with it.

carp5832

I struggle with the emotional/stress eating as well. It's hard - but you really just have to take it one meal at a time and accept yourself and your faults. I haven't been doing the best job at logging in here - but I have been keeping food logs on and off for the past five years. I ALWAYS lose weight when I do log my food.

Logging your food not only makes you accountable for what you've eaten - it shows you what you are actually putting into your body.

Losing weight isn't about dieting - it truly is about life style. You have to try to be yourself, but be conscious of what you're putting in your body.

Keep up the good work! But, remember, you are human. You may fall off the wagon, you may give into weakness for a day --- but that never means give up. It just means do better tomorrow.

KyleB65

Keep up the good work.
I do not feel like I have any eating disorder. However, I have a long history of going to food when I feel down or rewarding myself with food when I am feeling good about something.
I have found that this website is excellent for keeping me in line. As long as I add everything I eat. I am able to see the immediate consequence of my decision.
Here is hoping that we both can keep on track with this site or with any tools that help.

tashamanning

I just try not to think of it as a diet, when doing a diet you have someone else telling you what you can and can't eat. But with this you choose which makes it alot less stressful and way easier to keep with it!

sshap21712

Tasha is right. This is NOT a diet, since you are making all the rules yourself. It's a lifestyle change, and the reason it will work is because it comes from YOU. Nobody but you will judge your results (certainly not anyone on MFP). Whether you lose 5 or 500 pounds, you will get nothing but love and encouragement from this community. That's why it works!

brickok

Great to hear you are losing weight!
MFP is not a diet it is just a way of you being accountable for what you eat and drink and the exercising you do.
You are making a healthy lifestyle change for the better.
Don't let people bring you down, do this for yourself!
You are doing great!!
Keep up the good work.
You can add me as a friend if you want.
Kim

mrschappet

I can't speak from experience or anything like that ... but I just want to say I am super proud of you for being open not only on here but to yourself. Recognizing an eating disorder and speaking outwardly about it must take a lot of guts.. I am sure there are many people out there having the same struggle, and your post may help them to speak about it and feel they can get encouragement to keep moving in the right direction.

Like I said I can't speak from any experience (i have watched TLC programs and that about it lol) But I am just curious if you are getting counseling to help you reach your goal? I would think like with many other disorders, be it an eating addiction or a drug addition... many people will have times of lapse and could possibly fall back to the old unwanted habit. That would be my only consern. Otherwise, I think staying here on MFP and having encouragement of friends and others who are maybe going through the same thing you is a very positive thing for you! And if you are dedicated to sticking to a diet plan you can do it for sure!!!

Point blank you are awesome for being so open... and keep up your great work!!! You are an encouragement for sure :-)

MinnieInMaine

All great advice so far. Just wanted to add two things..

One, congrats for working on beating your bad habits! They can take a while to break but joining up here, tracking your food (helps with accountability, awareness and even decisions if you pre-track) and sharing your troubles are all steps in the right direction!!

Two, I've had the same issues and not to discourage you, but after a year and a half of working on this, it's still something I have to fight with now and then. HOWEVER, now that I'm eating healthier most of the time, the binges make me feel completely sick afterwards and that has helped me learn to avoid those binges as much as possible. It's just that I forget now and then and when something really good is on the dinner plate, I can't help but over indulge. I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm going to regret it later if I eat that one more slice of pizza or whatever. It's kind of like learning that drinking too much isn't worth it because you're just going to be a mess for the next couple days....

The other HOWEVER is that I no longer binge on sweet stuff - I've found that I can control myself in that department much better now either by avoiding them altogether or finding a way to get a reasonable portion so I can't overindulge. For instance, if I want ice cream, I just go to the McD's drive thru and get myself a small cone. It's only 150 calories and totally fits the bill. Much better than the whole pint of Ben & Jerry's that I used to eat!!

MichelleB69

I'm going to put this out there, because I want to be honest with you and myself as well as maybe give you a glimpse into the near future...forewarned is forearmed, IMO.

I'm 42 and have struggled with binge eating, emotional eating, bulimia and various combinations of the 3 since I was 15. I have weighed anywhere from 122 (when 16) to 172 (age 39). When I first joined MFP, I had decided that I was going to conquer my demons once and for all and start taking care of myself. I went 5 weeks! w/o purging and was so damn proud of myself...then I "fell off the wagon"...for no particular reason and was so disappointed with myself.

I'm not saying that you will do the same, but I am saying that I really feel that an eating disorder is something that has to be managed on a daily basis...much like any other addiction. I don't feel like I'll ever really be cured, but I do know that it's up to me to take care of myself and manage my emotional well being. The good news is that the longer you instill healthy habits in your lifestyle, the better you feel and the stronger your other coping mechanisms become, so you feel less likely to engage in the negative behaviors.

MFP really makes me accountable for my actions and choices, so I feel that it has helped me manage my eating disorder in a healthy way. And the exercise definitely helps with my emotional well being.

So, in short, yes it can be done; but I guess I don't view it as a diet...and I agree with the statement that a traditional diet will never work long term for someone with an eating disorder. This process is as much about getting your head in the right place as it is about getting your body in shape. The latter usually follows the former.

Best of luck to you...you CAN do it!

cincro

Beccaboo,
Bravo for you!! Good job. Don't listen to what everyone else tells you. You have great inner strengty and you are in charge of your body!!

AHealthierRhonda

don't ahve advice about your situation. Thank God I never had to deal with this issue. My one suggestoin to beat any weight issue no matter how big or small is to view it as a life style change and NOT a diet. I personally hate the word diet as to me it means a quick way to lsoe some unwanted weight. If you change your life style for the better, odds are you will lose weight. Sounds like you ahve your mind set in the right direction. Don't get discouraged if the scale stops moving and you plateau. Track inches lost as well as weight. Remember it is a life long journey, not a short trip!!!!!!!! You can do it! Congrats on the loss so far and the decision to take control of your life!!

becci_momof2boys

What you've done so far is a HUGE accomplishment! Keep it up, you will have as much encouragement as you will need here! I know that what you are struggling with is a daily battle, so just take it one day at a time and remember that you are not perfect, but you are at least trying.
As far as the stretch marks go, there are some treatments that some Drs. are trying with some success, so hopefully in the next year or so it will become mainstream and better. Good Luck!

bpe101

So I have a bit of a confession, and I figured that non of you actually know who I am and its a site where I feel I can be open because its a "judgment free zone". Since I was probably 10-11 I developed an eating disorder. I am an emotional eater, over eater, whatever you want to name it. And I have been struggling since then. I am now 21. I joined MFP not really expecting to stick with it or be able to even come close to my calorie goal. But its been 11 days and I have had ZERO "binges" and I haven't really even wanted too. I started off weighing 204and I'm 5'7. 11 days later I'm 197.2 !! Seeing the results on the scale is such a boost of confidence and it makes me want to keep it up. The point of this posting was to ask if anyone else has been through this and if it has worked, I've had someone tell me that once I have an eating disorder ill always have it and diets won't work for me. I'm trying so hard to prove them wrong. Also, eating the way I did put a huge toll on my body, leaving me with uncountable stretch marks and cellulite. I feel like ill never be confident enough to wear shorts, bathing suits or even tank tops. Does anyone have any advise for me?

Thank you

Congratulations on your great start! If you would like to add me, I would be happy to support you through your journey!

HollieDoodles

Thank you for being so open. Reading your post is another step toward helping me be honest with myself and others. It's scary for me to say it outloud, but I am also a binger. I relate so much to your story. I have done a lot better since I've joined this site though and my biggest problem was at the beginning. Now Im started to "forget" to turn to food :0).... I did discover that I am definitely triggered by emotions and the feeling of being out of control. Last night I stayed up too late with some "issues" on my mind. Because I was up so late, I got hungry. It was true hunger and I ate. I didn't eat to just fill my tummy though. I ate and ate to fill my sense of control. :0( The good news is that I finally faced up to what my triggers are. I will do my best to avoid those now! The other good news is that I found this post of yours and I just said OUTLOUD what I've been doing. Yikes! but a good yikes! :0)

Thanks.... and please feel free to add me as a friend!

beccaboo315

I posted this less then 45 minutes ago and I CANNOT believe the amount of people who commented. I am sitting at work in TEARS right now reading everyones comments. (Happy tears of course !!!!) I had the chiils the whole time. I cannot thank you ALL enough for such encouraging, powerful words. I can't get over it ! Thank you SO much everyone. With all your kind words, I fel like I can get through this because I now have support ! Call me crazy but I consider you all my best friends now lol thank you thank you thank you !!!!!!!!!!!!


A few people made comments on how hopefully ill get other people to want to get it off their chest...
Let me tell you what a relief it Is !!!!
Add me if you want to talk !!
Thank you again everyone !
You made my day !
<333

Genomerio

Just have to want to change and be willing to work at it. I quit smoking in October, after having smoked for 23 years. I crave a cig almost every day, but I've just finally taken control of that want and pushed it aside. Changing my eating habits is the same thing. I do fail occasionally but I use that failure as motivation to try harder. And I always figured, if I can do it, anybody can do it. SO, You can do it!

jammer1963

I think it's fantastic the progress you've made so far! Keep it up!! I used to think that when someone said, "I lost 5 pounds", big deal. But it really is a big deal. It takes a lot of work and will power to lose weight. I started a weight loss program last year using this program and I lost 30 pounds. I was so proud of my accomplishements. Ihad so much extra energy, my aches and pains were gone and felt damm good about how I looked. the problem is I didn't know how to maintain to keep the weight off. I did put almost all he weight back on but I'm at it again! this time, I know better what I'm doing and I will keep it off. I not only started calorie counting but I started the "Belly good" diet. It's basically reduced carbs and sugars from your diet. I've lost 13 pounds again without even exercising. I started at 189 and I'm down to 176. It's a slow process but it'll be very maintainable. Be proud of what your doing and don't be ashamed to sneak a look in the mirror that you pass by...that person looking back at you is also very proud of what your doing. Keep up the good work Becca!!

DanAndMeg

I have the cellulite issues, but not the binging. No matter how much I lose or gain or exercise or massage in 'specialty lotions' I have the little dimples that make me envy other people's smooth legs ( .......... but you already have the answer you are needing on your "ticker"....YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

Beautiful comes in a million different varieties and is NEVER perfect (despite media attempts). Your outer appearance will vary, weight will come and go, your hair will eventually gray and your eyes will crinkle from your numerous smiles and laughter. Your beauty will never be dependent dependent on any single factor...it will always be the compilation of love and compassion that you give to others.

Advice from my grandfather: Love is not how you feel about someone...it is usually the way that they make you feel. Soooo... The way you make people feel about themselves will impact your beauty more than any stretch mark could ever deter from it....

Good luck in taking your own advice...it is usually the hardest to believe

LauraMarie37

I was bulemic, and while I think you'll always have to watch yourself more carefully than someone who is just dieting but doesn't have emotional issues (if such people even exist!), I definitely think you can do it! From when I recognized that I had an ED to when I felt like I had a somewhat "normal" relationship with food took three long, struggle-filled years. But it made me stronger and it made me believe I can do anything!!

So congrats on not binging! I know your success will continue and you will keep believing you can change - and then one day you will look back and be so proud of how much you have changed!!

Lyndyleigh

good job!! It's so hard to eat healthy, when unhealthy tastes SO good! But I am thinking of my health and image. Of course I want to look good in shorts and bathing suit. I am 61 and up until 6 years ago, I was quite slim. Then changes happened. My heaviest was 175, now it's 157. It is so good to be able to read about other people's struggles and achievements in the weight lose department. I get motoviation from reading what all the people have to say on MFP. This is a fairly new site for me and I love it.
I am a lazy person and I procrastinate, ALOT.....I am trying to overcome these habits, day by day, a little at a time. I keep telling myself to keep trying, and to go day by day, one day at a time. I did do upper body weights yesterday. Yea!! So, here we go on our journey of life, to be better and to make wise decisions!!

MsKeelah919

I binge eat too! Well I havent in the past month since being on here, but its an old habit of mine as well. I think about what ifs? sometimes... But I havent yet. Good luck!