Reality Check
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truchamp06
Posts: 78 Member
Is food really the enemy or was I the enemy?
Looking back, it’s hard for me to figure out how I got to the size that I am. Then I begin to see all the money I have thrown away going out to eat. I remember growing up we never went out to eat, times were tough back then, and so going out to eat once a month was a true blessing. Then I hit my teenage years and I had a job so I snacked, and made up for lost time I like to call it of years of eating foods I didn’t want. I mean really, I had no bills at that time, so going to movies and restaurants were ideal at that stage, and age in my life. I was always active, played a lot of sports and so it never really got out of hand until about my 11-12 grad of high school. I became an intense emotional eater. In my family you eat to celebrate ANY and EVERYTHING. You passed a test..out to dinner, you got a car..out to dinner. You catch my drift? After continuously packing on 10-15 pounds a year I decided WHOA slow down sister, food isn’t going anywhere.
The problem was, I was temporarily changing my eating habits…binge dieting is what I call it followed by binge over eating. Sneaky eating to me truthful. It’s hard to admit you have a problem you know? I can remember time and time again, I would eat barely anything around my friends bc I was so self conscious, but I would hide food under my bed or sneak in the restroom to eat. It got bad, and its embarrassing to admit this, but the fact is that’s the past and I’m living in the present and its okay to admit you have problems like anyone else , no one is perfect. I have tried, every 3 day, 4 day, 5 day, liquid, apple only, grapefruit only, high protein, low carb, shake only, lemon juice, HCG hormone diet, seriously I can go on and on. They all worked..until I got off of them and went back to what I thought was a normal eating pattern.
For me I’ve had to educate myself, its like a journey on how to get better, and want to do for myself. Its crazy because when I put on all this weight I still never saw the fat girl that everyone else saw. I still saw myself for how I was. I would lose weight for everyone but myself, and I believe that’s the reason why the weight loss did not sustain. I am a firm believer that when a person does something because others want them to and not themselves then their hearts not in it, and you know how it goes, if your heart isn’t in it, well.. its just not going to last.
I’m now 23. Weighing a whomping 295 pounds, in a way I can smile because I am down a few pounds, but I know that my journey has just began. That motivation has to come from me within; it’s a battle but a good one. I’ve always been a disciplined dedicated person in just about EVERY aspect in my life EXCEPT this one. I thank each and every one of you I have met on my journey. I am excited, and also kind of nervous, I am sure once I see my hard work is paying off it will push me to want to do more and do it harder.
My new life’s motto, if you set your mind to it, nothing nor anyone can stop you, not even yourself!
Looking back, it’s hard for me to figure out how I got to the size that I am. Then I begin to see all the money I have thrown away going out to eat. I remember growing up we never went out to eat, times were tough back then, and so going out to eat once a month was a true blessing. Then I hit my teenage years and I had a job so I snacked, and made up for lost time I like to call it of years of eating foods I didn’t want. I mean really, I had no bills at that time, so going to movies and restaurants were ideal at that stage, and age in my life. I was always active, played a lot of sports and so it never really got out of hand until about my 11-12 grad of high school. I became an intense emotional eater. In my family you eat to celebrate ANY and EVERYTHING. You passed a test..out to dinner, you got a car..out to dinner. You catch my drift? After continuously packing on 10-15 pounds a year I decided WHOA slow down sister, food isn’t going anywhere.
The problem was, I was temporarily changing my eating habits…binge dieting is what I call it followed by binge over eating. Sneaky eating to me truthful. It’s hard to admit you have a problem you know? I can remember time and time again, I would eat barely anything around my friends bc I was so self conscious, but I would hide food under my bed or sneak in the restroom to eat. It got bad, and its embarrassing to admit this, but the fact is that’s the past and I’m living in the present and its okay to admit you have problems like anyone else , no one is perfect. I have tried, every 3 day, 4 day, 5 day, liquid, apple only, grapefruit only, high protein, low carb, shake only, lemon juice, HCG hormone diet, seriously I can go on and on. They all worked..until I got off of them and went back to what I thought was a normal eating pattern.
For me I’ve had to educate myself, its like a journey on how to get better, and want to do for myself. Its crazy because when I put on all this weight I still never saw the fat girl that everyone else saw. I still saw myself for how I was. I would lose weight for everyone but myself, and I believe that’s the reason why the weight loss did not sustain. I am a firm believer that when a person does something because others want them to and not themselves then their hearts not in it, and you know how it goes, if your heart isn’t in it, well.. its just not going to last.
I’m now 23. Weighing a whomping 295 pounds, in a way I can smile because I am down a few pounds, but I know that my journey has just began. That motivation has to come from me within; it’s a battle but a good one. I’ve always been a disciplined dedicated person in just about EVERY aspect in my life EXCEPT this one. I thank each and every one of you I have met on my journey. I am excited, and also kind of nervous, I am sure once I see my hard work is paying off it will push me to want to do more and do it harder.
My new life’s motto, if you set your mind to it, nothing nor anyone can stop you, not even yourself!
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Replies
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Sometimes we have to be honest with ourselves to move forward. We all understand and know what you're going through. I've been there too! You've come to the right place for encouragement and support!! Add me, I'll be here for you in this journey! God bless0
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I LOVE YOUR MOTTO!!
Very insightful - you are setting yourself up for great success!!0 -
Amen. Beautifully said. If you want it bad enough to do the work and stick with it long term, you can have whatever you want.
Do you have a blog? This would be a beautiful start to a blog of your journey. I know I'd read it!0 -
Very well put!0
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Great attitude! And way to be honest with yourself, and everyone else-it is SO hard to do. You will get there! Set your mind and go for it! It is a surreal journey.......I started at 306, and have now lost 54 pounds. I can't even tell you where the time went....I would have never believed 9 mos ago that I would be where I am today. It seems that once your mind is made up to change, your body will too!0
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Your post is so true about my life also.
Last summer I was miserable with my weight and being on the sandbar with friends (of course skinnier than me) and my 1 year old grand daughter whom I couldn't keep up with and finally friends of ours invited us on a trip to Jamaica with them that triggered my healthy lifestyle change. I am so happy with being on mfp and it has helped me so much by keeping accountable for everything I eat and drink and the exercise I do. Set up a goal/prize for the first ? lbs. you lose. Mine was the trip initially and than every 5 lbs. after that I did little things (eye brow way, hair cut, pedicure and so on) things I never did before. It gave me something to work for. I didn't obsess about it by putting a date on it, when I lost it I got to do something. Find something to motivate you.
You are doing great by just realizing what your life has been like and that food was a crutch. Now just move forward and think positive and do something about it.
If you need a friend just invite me.
Kim
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@ corinnak
I technically do have a blog. However, its not a weightloss blog. I actually have been considering doing a weightloss blog, and youtube page. I think that motivating yourself is great and if others are able to get motivated by what you are doing thats even better. I will say being on this site for past 2 wks has motivated me by far than anything else. And also everyone on this site to me in a way hold me accountable. So thank you for your post. I really appreciate your support and everyone elses too!
-Audrey0 -
@ terrysgirl0829
You are beyond right. Its like I woke up oneday and said no more! I did that whole I will start on Monday spew for yours. Many Mondays came and left. But I truly agree when your mind is made up...you are a force to be reckoned with . I mean no one can stop you but yourself, and if your highly motivated,and serious you cant even stop yourself. I am just honored to be amongst you amazing supportive indviduals. I am truly blessed!0
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