Children lost for 40 years

rheston

Well, for those interested, you can go to my profile and see the last two pictures of my twin girls with whom I've had the most exhilarating weekend. I was also able to finally explain to their mother what happened and why I wasn't able to locate them.

I never knew how dark a spot there was in my soul but it's now so filled with brightness and happiness it's hard to explain. I was so filled with so many emotions this weekend that it went from tears of happiness, sadness, regret, joy and just plain fatherly pride in the maturity of these two women and their views on life general.

My other two children continue to be in constant contact with their sisters and are planning to visit them both at the earliest opportunity.

This is truly one of those life changing events that a movie or book is produced about.

The only down side to all of this is that I'm in AZ on business now and I still have to face the tensions that seem to have grown exponentially at my home in Virginia.

rheston

Well, for those interested, you can go to my profile and see the last two pictures of my twin girls with whom I've had the most exhilarating weekend. I was also able to finally explain to their mother what happened and why I wasn't able to locate them.

I never knew how dark a spot there was in my soul but it's now so filled with brightness and happiness it's hard to explain. I was so filled with so many emotions this weekend that it went from tears of happiness, sadness, regret, joy and just plain fatherly pride in the maturity of these two women and their views on life general.

My other two children continue to be in constant contact with their sisters and are planning to visit them both at the earliest opportunity.

This is truly one of those life changing events that a movie or book is produced about.

The only down side to all of this is that I'm in AZ on business now and I still have to face the tensions that seem to have grown exponentially at my home in Virginia.

shorerider

Saying a few prayers for peace in your family and continued blessings upon you and ALL your beautiful children!

MFS27

I'm so thrilled for you!

BTW - are things better between you and your wife now?

Anna_Banana

How wonderful for you.:flowerforyou:

rheston

Unfortunately my wife told me on the phone yesterday that this is too much for her to bear and she's thinking of ending our marriage. Our two kids are not happy with this and believe there's other issues she's not shared in order for her to take this approach about something that was so many years before our time together began.

I'm hoping a counselor will be able to help but right now I'm wedged between happy thoughts and pending doom.

Life just isn't fair

Carrie6o6

Wow! That is just amazing! Im glad you finally got to meet your long lost daughters! they are so beautiful!

Im so sorry to hear how your wife is taking it all. I know you understand how she feels. I hope all works out between you! :flowerforyou:

shorerider

I'm really sorry to hear that but hang in there--it can still work out, you never know. Hope the counseling works for you.

MFS27

Unfortunately my wife told me on the phone yesterday that this is too much for her to bear and she's thinking of ending our marriage. Our two kids are not happy with this and believe there's other issues she's not shared in order for her to take this approach about something that was so many years before our time together began.

I'm hoping a counselor will be able to help but right now I'm wedged between happy thoughts and pending doom.

Life just isn't fair

:brokenheart: It sucks sometimes, but I have to say you have such a calm and realistic attitude toward how everything is unfolding - I applaud you for that (I'd be a basket case, lol). Hugs.

Poison5119

Unfortunately my wife told me on the phone yesterday that this is too much for her to bear and she's thinking of ending our marriage. Our two kids are not happy with this and believe there's other issues she's not shared in order for her to take this approach about something that was so many years before our time together began.

I'm hoping a counselor will be able to help but right now I'm wedged between happy thoughts and pending doom.

Life just isn't fair

Rheston -- I'm sorry, but I just have to say a few words about this -- I just can't keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself; your kids are probably right - this sounds like she's using this as an excuse to be difficult. To end a marriage this long simply because you chose to meet a blood relative is just being overly melodramatic. I pray that your family will be able to weather this storm. Doom happens.

ON the bright side, congratulations, and I am so happy for you. They are both knockout gorgeous!

jojo52610

Wow how wonderful to have found your daughters after all this time

and I'm so sorry about your wife - I'm sure it's a bit of a shock - but hopefully things willwork out. :flowerforyou:

dothompson

Unfortunately my wife told me on the phone yesterday that this is too much for her to bear and she's thinking of ending our marriage. Our two kids are not happy with this and believe there's other issues she's not shared in order for her to take this approach about something that was so many years before our time together began.

I'm hoping a counselor will be able to help but right now I'm wedged between happy thoughts and pending doom.

Life just isn't fair

I've been following this story and I think a couselor is a good idea. You seem very rational about this and everything you've said about your wife indicates that this is out of character for her. You may come out of this stronger than ever.

Benson

From everything I've read about you, you are an amazing human. It would be different if you kept this a secret all these years. Maybe to your wife it seems like she's going to lose something - but really she stands to gain two lovely "step' daughters. I hope she soon comes to realize that you deserve to know your own children and that ignoring them would detract from your awesomness. I will hope for harmony for you and yours.

Heather

Nich0le

I am the child of a lost father and when I finally met him I was so thrilled but he never grew up and our relationship ended soon after reuniting. My husband and his sister were abadoned in a hotel room when they were 4 and 13 months old (yes they are that close in age). Luckily a neighbor found them and took them in for a few days but she had to finally give them to the state where they were adopted as a duo or not at all. His relationship with his biological parents is distant but his sister has grown very fond of them and she has a really nice "second" family.

I guess why I am telling you all of this is your wife may not understand the reasons why you lost your children and your children may all have questions but hold your head up and do your best to mend all of those relationships. It may not be easy sometimes but I think it sounds like you have grown up and have regrets and the only thing you can do now is make the best of the time now given to you!

Good luck to you and your daughters and the future you will hopefully share! :flowerforyou:

arewethereyet

We cannot undo yesterday, but we sure as hell can make tomorrow better.

It appears to me you are trying to make tomorrow better for you and your family, and I applaud you for this.

I can only say that if my DH came up today-with NO warning-with a child from before we were together I would cook a large meal and INSIST on being present to enjoy the reunion.

There is more to the story.....

You enjoy those woman. Your DNA had something to do with who they are as adults. It appears they are accepting and giving, as are your other children. A trait they definately got from you.

God Bless.

arewethereyet

Sorry you feel like this!

rheston

I really have nothing to be ashamed of or be regretful for -- except the lost time -- but even that seems miniscule when compared to all that which seemed to have vanished at the first embrace and shedding of tears.

For those who don't know the details of how I was feeling when I was going to make the trip to LA this weekend you can read up on it at: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/25877-children-lost-for-40-years

I wish I felt mature and level headed but right now I'm so off balance trying to understand the "why this and why now" emotions. Life is strange and you can never tell when it's going to offer a new challenge and all I can say is that I hope I'm as up to this one as I've had to be for all the rest.

Thanks a bunch guys I really did listen to all of you before and I continue to do so now.