Fears

kristiedavis1

I have been talking with others in my professional and personal life that are walking through my same “fat experiences”, and it sounds like so many of us experience the same things but think that no one else could possibly understand. I’d like to hear what you have to say about some of these topics. If you would like to respond but prefer I not share what you say please let me know in your post. I won’t be attaching any “identifying” information in what I share. I just want to let the people who are fighting this fight to know that they are not alone and not so different than many of us. So here’s the first topic…… What are your fears related to being overweight or the process of losing weight, even those fears that you know have no basis of reality?
Here are a few of mine: 1) I would die before seeing my children grown and married 2) My husband and/or my children would be ashamed of me 3) My husband would wake up one day and realize that he was married to a fat girl (As if he didn’t know that when he married me.) 4) Getting stuck in a booth at a restaurant or that the chair would break 5) Reaching the point where I couldn’t take care of myself 5) Missing out on my life 6) Being deprived because I’ll always have to be on a diet.

Lauriee2014

As a single [divorced] woman, thinking I'll be alone IF I don't lose the weight. Also, hoping that once I am in full "rock star mode" that someone who has known me all this time isn't suddenly "interested" in me. I's really rather not have to deal with knowing that someone currently in my life is that shallow.

A year ago I would have said, dreading CPR class, bc I get winded working on a dummy or my back gets sore being in that bent over position for too long. Perhaps going out to eat and being too tight in a booth to be comfortable enough to eat. THOSE fears are gone now! Over 60lbs gone and I can do CPR training, put air in my tires, anything that might need an awkward or not often used position.. and don't get winded or sore..or anything! I have another near 40 lbs to lose. But there are so many positive results along the way!

[Not sure if this is what you were looking for in response?]

bmmadden

Very good point these are the things we keep to ourselves most of the time in our private moments,I think my worst fears are one that my children and husband being ashamed of me as well as not being there for them especially since heart disease runs in my family and my brother had a heart attack when he was 32 (yes he survived) however if I don't change my ways that could be me in two years and I may not be so lucky

Thriceshy

All of those things, plus the fear of being too heavy for an ER staff to move or handle, being too large for an amusement park ride (that happened--I had to fight with the attendant), Being unable to climb up a ladder or out a window in an emergency, and being unable to fit in an airplane seat (again, I've come close). I have, more than once, found myself unable to fit in a seat or booth, and live in fear of breaking a chair. My fear with losing weight? A long time ago, someone I love very much said that loose skin was the most horrifying thing, it was just awful, that the very sight of it freaked him out. I said, "You know, if I lose this weight, there's going to be a lot of loose skin." He said, "Yeah, but it'll tighten up." I said, "No, probably not by much--I'm 40 years old, and my skin's alraedy been through this twice." His gaze got squirrely and he looked away, didn't say anything else. As stupid as it sounds, this has been part of what has sabotaged me ever since. I start to lose weight, and I remember those words--even though he claims he doesn't. And all I can think is, "At least I know he wants me when I'm fat. What if I lose this weight and I repulse him?"

It ain't easy, being big.

Kris

Bethannny

I always think that everyone is judging me because I am overweight; that they won't like me because of the fact that I'm big. If someone doesn't like me, that is the conclusion I come to as to why they don't. I also fear getting excess skin during the process of losing weight, and that one day after achieving my goal, I will gain all of my weight back.

barbiex3

i am afraid that one day when I give birth, I wont be able to lose the baby weight, and I will never feel confident again =[
I'm afraid of having a heart attack (how my grandpa died =[ )
I'm afraid that I may be the topic of people's conversation that they are concerned about "what happened to me" or people feel bad for me because i've gained "so much weight" =[ !

kristiedavis1

Exactly what I was looking for. Thank you. I identify with so many of the things each of you said. I am figuring out I am so not alone. The more I share the more I am learning about me and figuring out how to change my "stinkin' thinkin'".

stepbystep6

1. I fear the guilt and shame I would feel if I developed any disease that could be attributed to my poor lifestyle choices.
2. I fear that my weight will further drive me to isolate myself from social situations, and might miss out on relationships that 'might have been.
3. I worry that my kids will be ashamed of me.
4. I fear the yo-yo syndrom.
5. I fear people making comments on my weight ever...good or bad. I don't want evidence that people notice my weight at all. My weight is not who I am!
6. I fear that the things I hope a healthier lifestyle will change for the better, won't change - even when I am healthy.