A Cautionary Tale, with Pics

ladyhawk00

I decided to take some progress pics – which was a very difficult thing for me to do. Having had lots of issues with eating disorders and body image for most of my life, pictures are not my friend.

After I took them, I posted on my feed how disappointed I was with the results. While I can certainly see improvement, the camera is so cruel and doesn't really illustrate the progress of 20 lbs and 15 inches lost. I see things (muscle definition) in person that you just don't see in a picture. Pics are hard for me, to begin with. I am, of course, horrified at my beginning pics. I would feel better with others seeing them if I felt that the current pic looked better. I have been literally nauseous while writing this out, at the very thought of showing these pics. But I decided to post them anyway, as I thought perhaps my struggles might show how working against your body is the wrong way to go.

Some of my story is here:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/175241-a-personal-view-on-exercise-cals-and-underfeeding

Might also help to read this:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/230930-starvation-mode-how-it-works

My progress is slow - and I'm ok with it being slow, and I don't have any desire to be "ripped" or have a really low BF%. I don’t exercise crazy amounts, and my diet is not perfect. Perfection isn’t a goal that works very well for me. I just want to get to a healthy place and feel comfortable in my own skin.

In my struggles with “starvation mode”, I lost a large amount of lean muscle (and my metabolism was in tatters). I think that’s clear in my beginning picture. While my weight was not THAT high, my BF% was. Obviously, I still have a very long way to go. I have made a lot of progress, and I’m immensely proud of it. But it is still very hard to see those pictures and realize how much damage I inflicted on myself through underfeeding. I’m what you’d call (not-so) skinny fat. I’m just barely overweight now, but my composition is still very poor. So, let this be an illustration of what NOT to do. Underfeeding wreaks havoc on your body, and will make everything a lot harder. Save yourself the trouble and do it the healthy way. I wish I had for all those years. And I'm so glad I've found MFP (and all of my friends) to help me get on the right path to getting healthy.

At my highest weight, I was about 195 lbs, size 16ish. Ten years ago, when I was at my worst with my ED, I was 122 lbs, size 2. Here's to finding a happy medium. :drinker:


Jan 2, 2011 - 191
June 15, 2011 - 171
37 yrs old, 5'9"

jlsironen

Oh my goodness I can TOTALLY see the change!!! I am looking forward to when my "after" picture looks like yours Even with pants on in the first picture you can see how much slimmer your legs are and your tummy looks awesome! I'm too chicken to even to the "before" pictures but I guess i should *sigh*
You have done an amazing job and I hope you will believe me when I say there is absolutely a significantly noticeable difference in those two pictures. Awesome job!
-Jennifer

Schwiggity

We're all our own worst critics, and if those pictures aren't showing as much progress in person, then all I can say is "wow" because there's definitely a good deal of difference in those two pictures (especially in your abdomen and definition in your arms).

SabrinaJL

There's definitely a change around your midsection. You're doing awesome!

jamielise2

I see a HUGE difference! Good for you!! None of us gives ourselves enough credit - that's why we need support.

SandraD89

You look great. I know its hard to believe that but you do, and one day you will find your happy medium be happy with your results.

angie_roo

I can definitely see the change. Good work!

Heather75

I see a lot of progress. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

CRmom2

There is definetly a difference that can be seen! You are looking great! I know the feeling of posting pics on here...it was nerve racking when I posted mine...way to go!

KeepingChocolate

It's funny how things look to ourselves in pictures that others see so differently. I can see a clear change in your abdomen and thighs. You are looking very good. Keep up your positive progress!

Andythefitfamilyman

All I gotta say is wow! Your pics are ins

chevy88grl

We are our own worst critics...

I think you look fabulous!

I see a huge change in those pictures - even if you don't see it.


WTG!

Andythefitfamilyman

All I gotta say is wow! Your pics are ins

Ins=inspiration

Just1forMe

You are looking terrific! The change is very, very obvious. Thank you for sharing your story and your pictures with all of us. I understand all too well about the pictures. My "family albums" are missing me in almost every picture...hoping that will change soon! You should be very, very proud of yourself! Great job!

Crystalchaos72

Good for you! There are definitely results!! You are doing great + thanks for making yourself "uncomfortable" and posting progress pics! HUGE NSV.......facing your fears

Jenscan

You are being really hard on yourself. There is a very big change between the pictures! You have supported and helped so many of us here and I think it's time for us to do the same for you.

You've struggled with so many things in your life. It hasn't been easy. You have learned from those hard lessons, which many of us NEVER want to learn. You have changed, grown, and know that the past can help address the future.

The camera is NOT as cruel as you think it is, honestly. We see what you don't - so believe in yourself and trust us, that we know you've made way more progress than you think. We you!

gumbootiner

good job!

shellybsn

Definitely see the change and the increased muscle definition. You're doing a great job and I have faith you will keep up the good work!

funkyspunky871

I weigh less than you, and I STILL wish I looked as good as you do! Lol. You're amazing ladyhawk. Keep up the good work.

stephanielynn76

Thank you for being willing to share your story with us and your knowledge as well. I know I have a great deal of respect for you for what you bring to this community. You are doing great and making progress and that's what counts! Kudos for doing it the healthy way... slow and steady wins the race! :flowerforyou:

Jade_Butterfly

You look fabulous. .. . Love the pics. .. Thank you for sharing! :bigsmile: