Hubby having trouble letting go of MY pounds?

cassmsta

So my fiance is what you would probably call a chubby chaser, I know he would love me regardless of my weight, but he is upset that I am trying to lose weight because im losing some of my "womanly features"

I have already went from a Size E chest to a DD, and I know i'm going to lose more, I also know that i'm going to lose more as well as curves.

Now don't judge him , I wouldn't be very happy if he lost weight and "parts" of him started to shrink, But i put him in his place and things seem to have smoothed over.

I told him that this was NOT about him or anyone else, this was about me and how I FEEL in my own skin and that I want to be healthy.

He was pretty upset with himself over how he was acting, I don't think he really realized exactly what he was saying.

Has anyone else had this problem?

LilRedRooster

My SO is kind of having a some trouble, since he was bummed that my boobs and butt shrank. I was never truly overweight, per se, but after giving birth and breastfeeding, a few things ballooned up, and he's admitted that he misses them now that they're more normal. Sometimes, I actually feel guilty for losing them, even though this is how I was when he met me. Except he still has slightly bigger boobs to enjoy that when we first met, since I'm still breastfeeding, so I'm not sure why he isn't grateful for that, haha.

Honestly, it's not something I obsess over. If anything, it makes me feel a bit better about losing the weight a little more slowly, because I can hang on to the extra padding for him a little longer.

jamielise2

My husband subconsciously sabotages my weight loss - he shows his love by giving chocolate, so we're working on him finding better ways to show love to me and others. Luckily he's not a "boob guy" and also luckily my band size seems to go down while my cup size doesn't seem to ever drop below a D. So tell him not to worry too much...

cheshirequeen

yes i have, but my hubby has seen me at 200 pounds without being pregnant and 215 when i was pregnant. I am thinner now than I was when I met him. his was self-esteem issues. i had to put him in his place too when i said he was hurting my feelings. he thought i was leaving him behind and that i might go out and find somebody else. i had to tell him this was for ME and not about him. that i wanted my health and i wanted to live a long time for him and our 2 year old. im glad its fixed, it definitely took me about 2 months for me to get that out of him. i can totally relate

davidrt

i did but its because i wanted to lose weight and she didnt want to put any work into losing any maybe not exactly the same problem but i also told her you can do what you want but this is for me , im not going to let anyone else stop me or bring me back down, or up as the case my be it sounds bad but sometimes you just have to say if your not for me your against me

ItsMeMaryW

My SO of 7 years left me after I lost 115 lbs. We had other issues but I think he was afraid I would leave him so he beat me to it. I know we had issue to work out but I find it strange that he would wait till I lost this much to leave. He said that I was getting stronger and that he needed to work on himself. I was very insecure at 400 lbs and didn't like myself very much. I was getting self esteem and he couldn't handle that. So now I will finish this journey alone and I'm OK with that because for the first time I love myself!

Swimgoddess

Figure out what your starting waist to hip ratio was and tell him that as you lose weight, you'll either try to keep it the same or lower it, which would in fact, make you appear EVEN CURVIER! (the latter is more likely to happen)

Figure for both your circumferential WHR (take a measuring tape around the smallest part of your waist and divide that the measurement around the biggest part around your hips; examples in my signature)

AND your frontal WHR (use a picture where you are as forward facing as possible and do the same as above except you are only measuring the distance across the narrowest part of your waist and widest part of your hips)

As for your chest, well... (imagine me saying this while shaking my head emphatically up and down in a covert "yes" nod) it was hurting your back before and your doc already told you you probably would need a reduction to feel better and your guy wouldn't want you to go under the KNIFE, would he? He wouldn't want your back to hurt either I bet, or have it be harder to detect if you have breast cancer, right? I usually say, "it takes a WOMAN to put the WONDER in the WonderBra", but if you're still sitting pretty at DD's, I think I can hold that bit of advice back, lol. (I would KILL to get my 8th month of pregnancy & breastfeeding D-cup back!)

cassmsta

I'm actually really relived to hear that I am not the only person to have these problems, thank you all!