Letting MFP Friends Go?

debdptg

When do you let your MFP friends go? When do you delete them from your list? I have found some friends are not motivating, but instead seem destructive. I also have some friends that don't show up regularly and this is a bit discouraging. But, I know that we can not be "on" all the time and that I am also here to encourage and motivate them.

So...what do you do? When do you 'unfriend' someone? Do you do that quietly, or let them know why? How much do you invest in someone who is willfully hurting themselves? I would love to get some advice on this. Thanks much.

vraesgame

I delete friends who don't log in for 2 weeks....unless I know they're on vacation/moving or something big has happened in their lives.

rharris86dc

I have deleted people for all of the reasons you listed, and others. If they are not really helping or motivating, then I don't think it's worth it just to have someone take up your feed.
I don't tell people when I delete them, I just do it.

bigalfantasy2004

I keep all my friends unless they say something unmotivating or insulting to me.

godroxmysox

I usually leave an encouraging message on their wall at 3 days gone, a week gone & a month gone....if they don't come back after a month, I usually unfriend them. At that point, I assume they won't be coming back. I will be going through my friends sometime soon because I have broken 100. If they aren't providing the same encouragement to me as I am to them, I will have to remove them as well. I don't usually say anything, but I'm thinking maybe I should let them know why so they don't try to re-friend me...?

LLaDonna

I've only deleted a couple of friends. One for being overly negative and draining; the other for weeks of inactivity. I don't message them and tell them why. I just remove them and keep on keeping on.

usmcmp

I delete people all the time. No guilt, no warning. If they aren't working out for you just remove them.

Celo24

It's your friend list and your tool to help you so let someone go when you think is appropriate. We are all here for support and some people just don't "click." If someone isn't working for you or if you aren't working for them, move on. That'll help you surround yourself with the RIGHT people who will help you reach your goals.

thin4life67

If you aren't getting the motivation and support you need from them why keep them? If they have been inactive they probably won't even notice you deleted them.

kristiek7

If they don't log in. If I don't interact with them or if they are here for the wrong reasons. Other reasons that I won't mentioned because I will create a storm and I don't feel like justifying myself. It's MY fitness pal, so I'm deciding.

AngieM76

I have deleted a few people. I didnt say anything to them. There style of support and what they posted just wasnt for me.

cjjones007

I haven't cleaned up my Friends List at all - I have several that don't show as having been on for awhile and I shoot notes to them every so often - I think those friends need the support the most - I would, however; in a heartbeat, drop a friend (after sending them a note of explanation) if they were being destructive to my weight loss and journey to health...

This is your life you are working on making better - I respect that all people are different and am not easily offended by off colored humor or what have you - but if they directly attempt to "motivate" me in a destructive way, and don't appreciate my request for constructive criticism, I'd drop them.

I'm very lucky, however; that the friends I've chosen are either quiet or highly motivational - I've not had any who were "destructive"...
C.J.

cjjones007

If they don't log in. If I don't interact with them or if they are here for the wrong reasons. Other reasons that I won't mentioned because I will create a storm and I don't feel like justifying myself. It's MY fitness pal, so I'm deciding.

I think that's the best statement - it is "YOUR" fitness pal - you are absolutely right

findingfit23

I also delete people that havent logged in for some time. I delete people that constantly post about non weight loss/fitness things. If I want to hear about how little johnny did in boy scounts, ill friend you on fb

Cam_

I have deleted people for all of the reasons you listed, and others. If they are not really helping or motivating, then I don't think it's worth it just to have someone take up your feed.
I don't tell people when I delete them, I just do it.

Exact same here.

MsLadyVirgo

I delete too:

*those that are demotivators' or simply post negative comments: i try to ignore them, but have to let them go if they become too annoying or there postings have a negative impact on me.
*those that do not log on: after three days, i send them an encouraging message; if no response i wait about a week (after the initial message) before i delete them.

We are here to support each other. It's understandable that we all have personal lives and issues outside of MFP. However, I'm on a mission, so I surround myself w/those that are serious about their goals.

MsLadyVirgo

I also delete people that havent logged in for some time. I delete people that constantly post about non weight loss/fitness things. If I want to hear about how little johnny did in boy scounts, ill friend you on fb

I can relate, but have not built up the courage to delete. I just ignore the post.

EDesq

When do you let your MFP friends go? When do you delete them from your list? I have found some friends are not motivating, but instead seem destructive. I also have some friends that don't show up regularly and this is a bit discouraging. But, I know that we can not be "on" all the time and that I am also here to encourage and motivate them.

So...what do you do? When do you 'unfriend' someone? Do you do that quietly, or let them know why? How much do you invest in someone who is willfully hurting themselves? I would love to get some advice on this. Thanks much.

I delete them when they have not logged in in 14 days In A ROW ( Remember, some people go on Vacations.)
I also delete a "Friend" when I see from the News Feed that they are Too Into THEMSELVES, or they mainly do NOT support anyone or their Values seem to differ from mine or they may have OTHER Friends that I don't care for and I receive their comments on My News Feed, or they may complain/rant a Lot about "nothing".

I am looking for people (Friends) that are compatible with Me, not just like Me. I don't need a lot of outside motivation like some people, but I do want "Friends" that are seeking to Live Healthy and NOT on a "Fad/Quick Fix Diet or had Wt Loss Surgery or taking some diet pill." I want "friends" who are doing what I am doing (Making a Lifestyle Change, trying to eat right and healthily, and moderate exercise routine,) and in a similar struggle and are Winning. It may be happening slow and is a struggle but they are STEADY and Not giving up because it is about LIVING!

Bigpelly8

I am quick to delete anybody who has red letters saying they have not logged in for 3 days. For me, this "struggle" fo rme, is an every day thing, not an every couple days thing. I need people who take it as seriously as I do. I can't say I have ever removed anyone for any other reason than that. I'll even re add them should they ask, but soon as they go red, I get the axe out!!

Ali_TSO

I have deleted people for all of the reasons you listed, and others. If they are not really helping or motivating, then I don't think it's worth it just to have someone take up your feed.
I don't tell people when I delete them, I just do it.

I agree. It's not like FB, where I KNOW the people, and it's a slap in the face to them. As a general rule, if you wouldn't miss them if they deleted you, then they won't miss you. If they never comment on your stuff, and you never comment on theirs, then kick 'em to the curb! :laugh:

BastaConLaPasta

I had to delete a few today, their status updates were making my teeth hurt. If someone you don't even know in RL has the ability to irritate you, best to cull, I reckon. It's all about detoxification, right - and I don't just mean food!!

KeriA

Whatever others do with their friend list is fine with me since we need to be on here to get healthy and achieve our goals. However I am not a big deleter. The few I have were because of issues not relating to health and for self promotion. I don't mind some of that if you are also a supportive friend and are working on your health goals but I am not on here to be someone elses fan base. I have some friends that come and go and some of them make progress. Others don't but show up motivated again later and when they aren't on they don't really take anything away from me. I have more friends than I need so I do not have to weed anyone out to make room for someone else. I do understand that sometimes you have a friend that is great but comments that others make on their posts can be less than helpful. Self-destructive behavior is a hard one.

LaPistolaSexola

i delete people who don't post or haven't logged in after a long while.
do what helps you w/ your success.

MsLadyVirgo

I had to delete a few today, their status updates were making my teeth hurt. If someone you don't even know in RL has the ability to irritate you, best to cull, I reckon. It's all about detoxification, right - and I don't just mean food!!

Okay! I may need to do the same.

Oishii

I don't think I'll ever unfriend anyone. Most people I friend it's because I enjoyed a post of theirs, forum or blog, and want to read more of the same. So far I haven't been disappointed.

I don't know why others friend me though, so I suppose I might come across someone obnoxious eventually.

Heather75

I usually wait for them to delete me.

brewingaz

I usually wait for them to delete me.

LOL Yeah I don't need to. I usually just get deleted too.

jmula

When do you let your MFP friends go? When do you delete them from your list? I have found some friends are not motivating, but instead seem destructive. I also have some friends that don't show up regularly and this is a bit discouraging. But, I know that we can not be "on" all the time and that I am also here to encourage and motivate them.

So...what do you do? When do you 'unfriend' someone? Do you do that quietly, or let them know why? How much do you invest in someone who is willfully hurting themselves? I would love to get some advice on this. Thanks much.

this is a tool to help you reach your goals. if you need to be motivated, and want motivated people around you, then thats who you keep. if there not doing it DELETE them. this is the internet. its not like real friends where you go hang out and BS about personal stuff. Dont sweat it.

sandraksims3

if someone isnt being supportive,,,havent logged in for a month,,,r being self destructive...calling people on things that they arent even doing...then id remove them with no warning...they probably wouldnt even notice anyway

california_peach

I have to admit that I don't notice these things. I have probably been deleted,......that is sure to have happened.

zeeeb

i haven't had to unfriend anyone yet.

but if they said negative things that made me feel bad (i can hack the truth, but i don't need people to be rude and nasty). I am totally happy to ignore people who don't interact with me. I don't feel a responsibility to encourage everyone on my list. I really only look at the most recent posts, comment on those that I feel I need to, and that's that.

If i provide some motivation, great, if not. They'll probably unfriend me, and that's fine.

I'm not going to get all offended by people I don't even know. I'm here to lose weight and follow people's inspiring stories, to keep myself on track and to read about fitness and health to keep myself open to new ideas. I'm not here as a coach.