Irritated by excuses

fbmandy55

Ok so I used to be one of those people who always had an excuse for my weight, or I always said I tried but couldn't lose. The plain fact was that I never stuck with it or cheated on diets. Since MFP I have realized there is NO EXCUSE for people to not be able to lose weight. I have met people on here who have overcome massive weightloss, medical conditions, etc and that has not stopped them.

Ok so the reason for this rant. Some woman on my local news site just made a comment that "people do do not wake up and decide to be fat, there is almost always a medical condition to blame." I say that's a bunch of crap. I have a PCOS which makes it very hard to lose weight but I developed that condition partially because I was gaining weight and being unhealthy. I think if anything people develop these conditions because they are unhealthy.

Is anyone else irritated by the excuses you have seen from others since starting MFP?

CeleryStalker

I hate the excuses because they start to go to work on me, and then I catch myself starting to make excuses, which is BS. There is no excuse. I can work out harder, I can switch things up in different ways. I haven't lost anything in 2 weeks but I'm not going to sit here and cry about it. I'm using it to fortify my resolve. I'm getting married in September, and I'll be damned if I'm going to do it as a fat bride.

tammylfinch

I"m with you. I was one of those people too. I still catch myself doing it but really, you make your own choices. Once you start focusing on what's important, it's like a game to go around those excuses. I really like your post because you are telling it like it is. Keep up the good work!

FearAnLoathing

Im not really irritated,why should I be. Other peoples excuses have no impact on my life. You say yourself you used to be one who made tons of excuses too, I would think you would be a little more understanding of it since youve been there yourself. Who knows maybe your excuses irritated someone else. People will eventually figure it out like you did or they wont.

skbruewer

I get irritated all the time! My favorite is when people ask why they're not losing weight, and ask for help. Then they say, well, I wont exercise, and I won't stop eating pizza, pasta, etc.
I get it, I really do. I was the girl who just would stop mid workout because it was "too hard". I was the girl who would order a medium pizza and demolish it myself because, heck, it's got all the food groups and therefor, must be okay!
NOT ANYMORE! If the workout is too hard, I modify. If I want pizza, I have a slice, or I make my own. I've accepted that I got myself into this fat mess, and only I can get myself out.

SunshineKB

"I got myself into this fat mess and only I can get myself out"

LOVE LOVE LOVE that! Very true!

BigBoneSista

I get irritated in the beginning until it dawns on me that I use to be the same way at one point of time.

I can't fault anyone because they haven't reached the level I'm at in my journey. I had to swim through my own BS to get here and it wasn't easy. Now with that said, what I am not is a enabler. If I see someone making excuses I will call them on it because I know thats what they need even if they don't realize it. I don't give pats on the backs...I tell you to brush that ish off, suck it up and get back on the horse. Put on your big boy and big girl pants on because pity parties are for children.

HeyLisa

I do agree.. these are our choices. Owning what we do is empowering!

purpleprose

Honestly, I just feel kind of sorry for people who make excuses like that. Because losing weight isn't really *that* hard - it's basic math, not rocket science.

I just think it's easier to blame others or a medical condition than it is to take a serious look in the mirror. Most of us on here know how rewarding it can be to take accountability and responsibility, but the people making excuses are afraid. And that just makes me sad for them.

Elizabeth_C34

I mostly just feel sad for people who make excuses. They've not really woken up and realized what they are missing yet. I just hope they do and find joy in their life.

Chilliaddict

I used to make excuses, a hell of a lot of excuses but now i know that it's all my fault and i got myself fat so i'm going to have to get myself unfat. Only you can help you ..

vim_n_vigor

There are people with legitimate health issues that make it so they cannot lose weight - regardless of the simple math (I am not one of them!). I feel very bad for the VERY small percentage of people who do have these issues, and for them, this is not an excuse. For a much larger percentage of people, their weight is due to some type of emotional turmoil in their lives. I don't want to deny them their excuses, since for some, this may be much easier on them then accepting what has happened. Excuses will ultimately keep people from doing the things they think they want in life, but until they are able to see past their excuses, they really don't want to meet the goals they are setting for themselves.

kate2004rock

Honestly, I just feel kind of sorry for people who make excuses like that. Because losing weight isn't really *that* hard - it's basic math, not rocket science.

I just think it's easier to blame others or a medical condition than it is to take a serious look in the mirror. Most of us on here know how rewarding it can be to take accountability and responsibility, but the people making excuses are afraid. And that just makes me sad for them.

I don't think I could have said it better!

Of course medical conditions, injuries, etc. can complicate the processs, but its obvious from MFP, or The Biggest Loser, or even Weight Watchers that it CAN be done with some serious resolve, the right support, and the right information. Excuses are almost certainly a manifestation of fear.

It is my sincere hope that everyone comes to the breaking point (as many of the above posters and myself clearly did) where you say, "That's enough. I'm not going to look/feel/be ok being in the physical state that I am anymore. "

ivansmomma

I think also it's the emotional/mental issues that may keep some people from losing. Until you can find what's bothering you, what's making you hide behind the weight, you won't be successful. This has been proven over and over again on Biggest Loser and now on Extreme Makeover:Weight Loss. I do struggle with weight loss, and do have some medical/medication issues, but don't just lay down and give up. I know I'm eating healthy, getting exercise and eventually it will come off. Am really liking MFP, and don't feel the pressure of counting points, like I used to. Good luck to all of you on your journey and God bless!

LeonaB17

Im not really irritated,why should I be. Other peoples excuses have no impact on my life. You say yourself you used to be one who made tons of excuses too, I would think you would be a little more understanding of it since youve been there yourself. Who knows maybe your excuses irritated someone else. People will eventually figure it out like you did or they wont.

I agree!!

CeleryStalker

I think also it's the emotional/mental issues that may keep some people from losing. Until you can find what's bothering you, what's making you hide behind the weight, you won't be successful

I was always perplexed by the epiphanies people have on that show....until I had my own mini-epiphany while watching the Australian version. There is a female trainer on that show who has the most incredible arms on the planet. She looks great, fit, and just has this wonderful body and I thought to myself 'man, it'd be nice if i could have arms like that, but i'll never have them, it's just not possible.'

Then I got to thinking...WHY isn't it possible? Do I have alien arms or something? Am I comprised of different elements than everyone else in the world who's lost weight? I can have awesome arms, and awesome anything else I want, as long as I work at it. I think it was at that point I realized that the only thing holding myself back from reaching my goals is myself. I lacked faith in myself. It's still a process, and I still get wrapped up in the idea that I'm going to have flappy arms or something, but you know what? I'm never going to know if my skin will pull in nicely or not if I don't get to my goal weight in the first place, so all I can do is press on and work towards that goal. Excuses don't get me closer. Getting off my *kitten* and working harder will.

fbmandy55

Loving all these responses. And let me make it clear, I don't have anything against people that are obese. I still have like 50 lbs to lose until I am no longer overweight... Maybe I am irritated out of pity. I tell everyone about MFP. I've recruited about 5 people to join and I couldn't be happier! I just wish others would realize how easy it it!

cccathyyy

I totally agree with you! You just have to have your mind set to make the change. There are no excuses!

Red_Minx

I think the one thing I hate the most is ppl belly aching about diet pop. It is like really? Your going to use the fact you don't like diet pop as an excuse to stay fat? No matter how many times you tell them, you get used to it fast and then you can't go back with out tasting all the syrup ickiness! I have a friend that drinks a ton of pop a day. There is no telling how much weight she could lose just by cutting out all of the calories from the pop.
I have another friend who has health problem after health problem that I GUARANTEE are associated with her weight but she still won't do anything about it. I just can't understand sitting there and not even trying.

sushisuzi2

All you can do is cheer on people's successes and not shove anything down anyone's throat that doesn't ask for it.

lesley1981

I've heard all the excuses in the book in work recently! The other girl in my office lost a bit of weight last year and when she hit plateau she gave up, while I kept going. Now she's getting married and her bridesmaids are more determined to lose weight than she is because she "can't be bothered going to get her dress taken in"

I've also heard the "none of my clothes would fit" - well you're always buying new ones, so why not aim for a size smaller??

I was fat, I used all the excuses before, then I woke up and realised I was unhealthy, unfit and a fat, wobbly mess! I did something about it, and I'm proud of what I've achieved so far....

Thriceshy

I just want to say that you don't develop PCOS through poor lifestyle choices. My niece has PCOS, and she developed symptoms before puberty. She now runs relay races and is very active, physically, she eats sensibly, but she still struggles with the symptoms of PCOS. It's not something you can eat or live your way into through poor lifestyle choices, and it's not something you can "cure" by eating less or exercising more. That's not to say that one shouldn't exercise and keep their diet in check--of course they should in order to help reduce symptoms. But PCOS isn't a disease of low willpower. If you have PCOS, you have it whether you run marathons or spend all the day eating chocolate pecan clusters.

http://women.webmd.com/tc/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos-treatment-overview

Not trying to detract from your point--yes, many people have excuses, which really aren't any of our business. But PCOS isn't an excuse, it's an incurable disorder that makes weight gain likely and weight loss much more difficult than for the average person.

Kris

up2me2lose20

I hear ya! Irritated...maybe not, but I just want to say, NO EXCUSES, PEOPLE!!! If I can do this ANYONE CAN!! But I really believe that in order to be successful and maintain success one needs to be in the right frame of mind.

I made excuses for years. Too busy. Too many kids. Kids are little. Kids are too big. Too many organizations or activities. I deserve to eat what I want. I am happy fat (That was the biggest LIE I told myself) Too tired. Too sick. My family loves me the way I am etc etc.

I finally decided to change and change I have! Just recently, now that I'm trying to maintain and not lose weight I've been caught making excuses again namely: I should be happy with where I am, my weight is low, my BMI is on the low side of healthy etc.. But yesterday it finally occured to me--- I WANT MORE!! And why not!?! I can make it happen...NO MORE EXCUSES!! My arms are toned. Why not my abs!?!? Why not my butt!?!? Why not!?!? :-D

milaxx

Ok so I used to be one of those people who always had an excuse for my weight, or I always said I tried but couldn't lose. The plain fact was that I never stuck with it or cheated on diets. Since MFP I have realized there is NO EXCUSE for people to not be able to lose weight. I have met people on here who have overcome massive weightloss, medical conditions, etc and that has not stopped them.

Ok so the reason for this rant. Some woman on my local news site just made a comment that "people do do not wake up and decide to be fat, there is almost always a medical condition to blame." I say that's a bunch of crap. I have a PCOS which makes it very hard to lose weight but I developed that condition partially because I was gaining weight and being unhealthy. I think if anything people develop these conditions because they are unhealthy.

Is anyone else irritated by the excuses you have seen from others since starting MFP?

I agree and disagree. I agree people don't wake up and decide to be fat. I disagree that there is always a medical condition. In fact, in my opinion more often than not there is an emotional reason behind it. Many people self medicate with food, using food as a comforter or friend. Then there are people who honestly do not know what good nutrition is. We are a society that has raised generations on heavily processed food and fast food. Many do not know how to cook without a box or can of pre-made processed crap. We have raised generations that "hate" the taste or water, the thing our bodies crave and need the most. This is so deeply engrained in us that many people feel helpless against the sheer magnitude of it all.
How many post do we see even here on MFP with people begging for motivation, or a way to stop binging, etc.... when we all know that you simply have to say "NO" and stop?
Sure no on wakes up and decides to be fat, but unless you wake up and decide to eat right, and exercise, things will not change.

Scarlett_S

I have been overweight for the last twenty years because I've been eating crap food eighty percent of the time and not moving my body. No other reason. No medical condition, nada. I wish I had those years back - I feel so good now that I am more than halfway to goal and I am working out daily. NO excuse not to - I used my job, the kids activities, the house....you name it.

courtneylwatson

I have a thyroid condition that caused me to gain weight a little at a time for two years. I was 20 when I was diagnosed and had been asking the doctor if the gain could be from a thyroid problem for a year before he would check it. Only after I had been working with a personal trainer that was tracking my progress (which was none) did he check it. This is not an excuse, it is a reason that I gained about 30lbs, but after I was medicated for the problem I turned it into an excuse. I gained another 40lbs after my medical condition was fixed by medication. I used the excuse that it is too hard to lose weight when there is so much to lose. That was B.S. I knew it then and I really know it now. I had blamed the weight gain for making me lazy when really it was the other way around. I am not irritated by the excuses of others. Only mine, unless theirs happen to be the same as mine. Laziness is NO excuse, you just have to get up and do it.

Frozenmango

I get irritated in the beginning until it dawns on me that I use to be the same way at one point of time.

I can't fault anyone because they haven't reached the level I'm at in my journey. I had to swim through my own BS to get here and it wasn't easy. Now with that said, what I am not is a enabler. If I see someone making excuses I will call them on it because I know thats what they need even if they don't realize it. I don't give pats on the backs...I tell you to brush that ish off, suck it up and get back on the horse. Put on your big boy and big girl pants on because pity parties are for children.

This is a great post, and you look great, btw. It's completely true; that 90% of the time, the excuses are born from fear of facing whatever it is that keeps the weight on. Whether it's depression, anxiety, daddy/momy issues, unhappiness etc, if you don't deal with why your eating patterns or lifestyle are the way they are, you'll always find an excuse for why you can't/won't change. I know for me, I have to get past the self-defeatest thought process I've had for longer than I can remember. I figure I"ll never get there, so I give up before I even start. You can't be disappointed if you don't bother trying, right? WRONG.

But it's very, very hard to change your way of thinking, and a constant battle to keep from returning to that thought process even after you start to change. For me, I try to think of it this way; if I really want something that I enjoy (i.e. a new electronic gadget or a trip somewhere) I make it happen, even if it means I have $2 to my name when it's all said and done - because I set my heart on it and anytime an obstacle gets in my way, I think of way around it. I just have to get that way about my weight loss, exercise and eating habits.

As you said, when others start spouting the excuses - no enabling, just encouragement

tladame

I'm embarrassed to admit the excuses I used to make, such as, "No matter what I do, I can't get rid of this belly." Guess what I was doing to get rid of it? Nothing!! Now, at age 41, I am finally doing something about it. My stomach hasn't looked this good in years! No more excuses for me.

LeonaB17

I just want to say that you don't develop PCOS through poor lifestyle choices. My niece has PCOS, and she developed symptoms before puberty. She now runs relay races and is very active, physically, she eats sensibly, but she still struggles with the symptoms of PCOS. It's not something you can eat or live your way into through poor lifestyle choices, and it's not something you can "cure" by eating less or exercising more. That's not to say that one shouldn't exercise and keep their diet in check--of course they should in order to help reduce symptoms. But PCOS isn't a disease of low willpower. If you have PCOS, you have it whether you run marathons or spend all the day eating chocolate pecan clusters.

http://women.webmd.com/tc/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos-treatment-overview

Not trying to detract from your point--yes, many people have excuses, which really aren't any of our business. But PCOS isn't an excuse, it's an incurable disorder that makes weight gain likely and weight loss much more difficult than for the average person.

Kris

Thank you for saying this - I have PCOS too - and while I don't blame my weight on it - I do agree its not something caused by my weight - but it is worsened by weight gain. I had my first symptoms of PCOS when I was a kid - and I wasn't overweight. I didn't fully understand PCOS until a few years ago when I was given a full diagnosis - and was over 300 pounds. Anyway - I will never use PCOS as an excuse to not lose weight- if anything having it has empowered me to take control of my body because if I ever want to be healthy and fertile - it's up to me.

Meggie_pooh

OK...this is NOT an excuse, but I have gained weight....ALOT of weight since being on my meds (12 yrs), but as long as I keep exercising and eat correctly, I can lose this weight! Somettimes I feel like it's a never ending battle. I have epilepsy and will be on thse meds for the rest of my life, but NEVER ONCE have I used the meds as my excuse!!! It was always the cheese steak subs!