Sooooooo...What's the least painful way to exit a bad marria

firestarbeauty

Down Girls!!!!!!!!!!.....I think I need to give a couple nasty details here obviously. Sheesh!:blushing: First of all, In slowly reading my post, it merely ask the question, "would it be considered cheating"? not that I am contemplating it. It was a question. It was in reference to what I did in YOUNGER SINGLE DAYS when breaking up with someone that I knew was no good for me but it would of affected me greatly to just pack my gucci and just go because I am highly sensitive and emotional creature who is God fearing at that. Any ways things are not always as they seem: Traits: controlling, verbally abusive, drinking makes it worst, always stating I can leave like he dosen't care if I'm with him or not, has traumitized me with weight issue, and tells me im not his wife because we were married to other people before. Says his first wife is his real wife. Not me the current wife. He divorced me and then he married me 3 months later. And other than that he is loyal and kind.

damn, not the best...but still worth working out and discussing your issues to each other, there must be something there if you married him a second time?

Im divorced myself so explore every avenue before calling it quits, there is no easy way out....

ShunkyDave

Marriage is tough. No doubt about it.

My wife and I are going to hit 14 years this August.

And we're now starting our second round of therapy.

We agreed when we had our first big 'this is it or we're done' fight that the word 'divorce' is not on the table. Having made that mutual decision, we will address every problem as we find them. Sometimes it blows, and I hate it.

In the end, the most valuable thing I have or will ever have is my wife and my marriage to her. Nothing on the earth is more valuable, so you can't really entice me with it. I'm committed to doing what I must to keep it.

Just thought I'd share, for what it's worth.

jdm0804

My first thought is to say that there is a commitment issue that needs to be respected. As a future marriage counselor, I always want to say that divorce is not an option. You got married for a reason, and it's your duty as a married couple to empower that relationship. But if you feel actively abused (or neglected), or if you are the only one who's married, then you may need to bring it in as a last resort. But if you do, make it final.

Before you do, though, I would suggest trying to open the lines of commucation. Try to figure out what says "I love you" to your husband, and speak to him in that way and see if that helps the situation. If you can get him to engage you more, then you can really work through these issues. Try to figure out why he feels the way he feels, and encourage him to figure out why you feel the way you feel.

To answer your question, I believe that the easiest way to end a marriage is to talk through it. Don't let your emotions fuel it, and be fair about things. Let him keep what's important to him, and keep what's important to you. Compromise on what's important to both of you. Be open about the reason that you're doing it. Just because you end your marital relationship, doesn't mean you stop talking.

Hope that helps!