how do u look at yourself???

rogers8702

i know many have posted this before but im struggling with it now. when you lose weight and i have lost 40. so at my biggest i was 205 and even now at 145lb when i look in the mirror somedays i still see myself as big. but then there are days i feel so skinny, i have even had coworkers call me tiny or small.

so why do i still see myself as big? i usually have more days at feeling bigger than smaller. how have you dealt with this?

rogers8702

i know many have posted this before but im struggling with it now. when you lose weight and i have lost 40. so at my biggest i was 205 and even now at 145lb when i look in the mirror somedays i still see myself as big. but then there are days i feel so skinny, i have even had coworkers call me tiny or small.

so why do i still see myself as big? i usually have more days at feeling bigger than smaller. how have you dealt with this?

Poison5119

There are good days, and there are bad days. Even at my smallest, I sometimes felt bloated. So it's almost NOT a fair question. But to answer it, I feel smaller most days, and bigger only when I didn't work out the night (or day) before. Eating does not have the same effect on me, curiously. I just try to let it go, knowing that tomorrow is another day.

allaboutme

I think it is because we are still comparing ourselves with what we perceive to be "perfect" and if we aren't there, then our subconscious is telling us we still don't look good enough. It is hard to change how you think about yourself.

Our subconscious is an evil thing. The downfall of many determined dieters.

rogers8702

I think it is because we are still comparing ourselves with what we perceive to be "perfect" and if we aren't there, then our subconscious is telling us we still don't look good enough. It is hard to change how you think about yourself.

Our subconscious is an evil thing. The downfall of many determined dieters.

you know that is so true!! mean subconscious:devil: . i really do try to feel good about my self its just those days that i feel so down on myself!! they really suck.

i have a before and after pic on my refrigerator and i look at it every morning and damn i look good. i was 205 in that before pic (1 year ago)and im now at 145lb thats 60 lbs, thats an 8 year old kid i have lost. im so proud of myself most of the time.

MFS27

Even after reaching 135 lbs (from my all time high of 192 lbs) - I still don't think I am slender, small, tiny, thin, skinny minnie - or any of the other things people have said to me since my weight loss.

The funny thing is, when I was at my highest - I didn't think I was THAT fat. I think I have this constant image of myself at about a size 10-12, regardless of my actual size (used to be 16-18, and now size 4.)

But! I do love the muscle tone that is starting to show - so when I see pictures of myself, I have to do a double take :laugh: The mirror, however, seems to not change as much...dunno why....

allaboutme

you do look great. Repeat that to yourself whenever you are in doubt and you will allow yourself to believe it eventually. It takes time, but you can change how you think. It's hard when you have thought a certain way for so long. Stop looking at your flaws, and remind yourself that even the "perfect" aren't really perfect.

diannholland1965

When I was a teen I had an eating disorder, so I get FULLY what you are saying.
I could not look in the mirror with out seeing fat everywhere.
Today I still have some issues. I have tried the find the one thing that you like about your body aproach, and that makes it easier to do.
At least for me.
I hear that this is normal.
The thought of what you think you want to look like by the way that you think you look in the mirror by the way that you want to look. It causes a lot of stress.
Trust me I know.
--Diann...

♥Faerie♥

I often look in the mirror and see fat, even though everyone tells me I am not. I believe we can thank the womens magazines and fashion world for a lot of our "ideal's" about ourselves. It is very hard to look at all those ads, knowing 95% are photo shopped, and not set an unrealistic goal for yourself. We have to get past that "perfect" image that society has placed on women, and believe that all sizes are beautiful in their own way.

KrisKabob

you do look great. Repeat that to yourself whenever you are in doubt and you will allow yourself to believe it eventually. It takes time, but you can change how you think. It's hard when you have thought a certain way for so long. Stop looking at your flaws, and remind yourself that even the "perfect" aren't really perfect.

I agree! I think it's hard to get rid of that mind-set of always knocking ourselves down. You've got to tell yourself that you are thin, good-looking, and fun! Just keep telling yourself that and stay away from saying or thinking negatively. Harp on what you like about yourself. Evetually you'll start to think in a more positive direction. Good luck!
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

rogers8702

molly --that is so true when i was 205 i never saw myself as big i always thought i was smaller than i truely was. even though i knew i needed to lose weight.

its so strange how our mind works!!!!

i will continue to work on this.

thank you ladies

motheroftwoboys

I am the same way. I too have lost 40 pounds and I really don't see it at all. My husband always says I look so good. I love that he does it, but I want to see it too.

jowily

You should watch Carson Kressley's show on Lifetime...he talks about body image and how to get over it...especially given all the work you have done and the changes you have made. It's all in perception...and he is good at making women understand how to change that perception...it's a pretty good show!

Fab140

The funny thing is, when I was at my highest - I didn't think I was THAT fat. I think I have this constant image of myself at about a size 10-12, regardless of my actual size (used to be 16-18, and now size 4.)

I know how you feel. I'm at my highest and I still feel sexy and lean....until I look at a photo and go O.M.G.

I've never been truely "small" but my mind has always thought in that way. I guess I was a vixen in my last life.....lol

But to help:

Think of one thing that makes you feel gorgeous and sexy and hold on to it, use it as a crutch until you don't need it any more. Tap into that inner goddess, sweetie!!:flowerforyou: