Fat loving friends are counter-productive.

livi_cowgirl

I have a friend who really loves big girls. In fact, the only reason we met is because he was attracted to my lumps and bumps. Which is great for someone who is happy with being the size of a whale and is prepared to take all the bad things that go along with being that big. But, as much as I love my friend, he drives me up the wall with all his pro-fat propaganda. I feel like he is the little devil on my shoulder, offering all the excuses as to why fat is great. Don't get me wrong, each to their own I say, but I HATE being fat and I'm really trying to do something about it, but he's not helping. Please, does anyone know what I should do about this? Thank you. x

morganadk2_deleted

I think you need to tell him how you feel, if he is a good friend he will understand , and maybe even help.


Good luck on your journey

FTIM2015

I'd be really tempted to be blunt and tell him that it's great that he likes fat but you don't and you want to live longer than another 5yrs! He either needs to be supportive or shut up!

ivyjbres

Since he's a friend, and not a boyfriend, you get to say, "As my friend, I expect you to support my doing whatever makes me happy." You're not an item, so attraction shouldn't be part of the equation. While it is true that being big is less of a strain on your body than yo-yo dieting, its still healthier to be at a healthy weight, and to get there in a gradual, safe and sane manner. I understand that he may worry about you, and as a friend, that's a good thing. But if you're doing it the right way, and have let him know that you're loosing weight the right way, and aren't compromising your health; if its all just about weight alone- he can kindly be a good friend and stuff it in the manner as he would be expected to be nice to your boyfriend, no matter how much he disliked him.

It occurred to me as I finished typing that maybe you're weight loss leaves him feeling insecure- that perhaps he might loose your friendship if what began your friendship is no longer there?

livi_cowgirl

Thank you for the replies Ladies. I have spoken to him about this before but he always manages to sneak it into a conversation. I think the problem is that he just loves fat so much that he just can't understand what could possibly be bad about it. When I tell him I am trying to live longer he tells me there is no real evidence to support the theory that fat kills, he says you are more likely to get hit by a bus. So he's in denial and trying to justify his love for fat and in doing so, he is niggling away at my will power by being that annoying little devil on my shoulder telling me there's nothing wrong with being fat and that I look sexy, all of which I know to be rubbish. I may look sexy to him, but to me I'm disgusting! He says I only feel this way because society has conditioned us to feel like that, to hate fat and fat people. It's not that at all. As far as I'm concerned, if someone wants to be fat, then fine, so long as they don't ruin someone else's life because of it (i.e. get so fat that someone has to look after them.) I see what being fat does to people everyday. My whole family are fat and there is nothing nice about it. It's bloody painful and horrible! Anyway, thanks again. x

FTIM2015

The other option is to tell him he either packs it in or he looses a friend. It's not fair that he's breaking your will power down just so he gets to see what he likes!

heyjude1358

It sounds like he's telling YOU what YOU feel and think. And there is a TON of evidence that fat DOES hack away at our lives. Tell him to go visit a doctor and ask some weight and fat related questions.

Do what YOU need to do to succeed!