Women asking out men, weird, or a new generational thing?

ttrotter1960

The Game:

1) Guy makes a simple remark that is complimentary or flattering.
2) Girl responds and thanks Guy.
3) Girl must follow up by escalating game in some way... showing interest through extending a conversation, flirting in some way, etc.
4) Guy gets a clue and continues with further interaction.
5) Guy or Girl initiates physical contact in some fashion, either initial or additional contact, that makes it clear that another level is desired.
6) Guy asks Girl out. Alternatively, Girl makes comment that reveals - directly or indirectly - that she is not presently in a relationship. Then Guy asks Girl out.

Wow!! So this is how it works!?!!?! I will print this out and keep it in my pocket for future reference . . . . LOL.

supershiny

In general, nice guys don't hit on girls outright. It's kinda rude and they are nice. That is why you get hit on by creepers. They want to take advantage of women with lower self esteem. If you want a nice guy, go chat with him. He won't hit on you, but you may hit it off Don't listen to Carrie Bradshaw... gender roles are malleable.

queenofdisney

Men never approach me. I did the online dating thing, where I would initiate contact. Then if I liked them, and they passed my "screening" then I would ask them out to meet for real. Or sometimes they would beat me to it. Anyway, probably 25 first dates later, I met the man of my dreams and we're getting married in October Don't let society tell you what is right. If it seems good to ask him out, do it, but if you'd rather wait, then that is ok too. But remember, men always drag their feet

melsinct

The Game:

1) Guy makes a simple remark that is complimentary or flattering.
2) Girl responds and thanks Guy.
3) Girl must follow up by escalating game in some way... showing interest through extending a conversation, flirting in some way, etc.
4) Guy gets a clue and continues with further interaction.
5) Guy or Girl initiates physical contact in some fashion, either initial or additional contact, that makes it clear that another level is desired.
6) Guy asks Girl out. Alternatively, Girl makes comment that reveals - directly or indirectly - that she is not presently in a relationship. Then Guy asks Girl out.

Good god, it isn't that complicated. If it were, I'd still be single. People make dating complicated by playing games such as above. Honestly, I think people - men and women - need to grow a pair (figuratively, of course!). If you are interested (no matter the gender), then show it. Period. No "Well I am the woman so I should do X, then I will wait patiently and hope he picks up on my clues...".

the men still want to be 'the man' as society dictates they are. It's an ego thing that's accompanied with a fear of rejection!!

That's not how it works where I live (the northeast) where it is perfectly normal and reasonable for a woman to ask a man out and vice versa. Perhaps your guy wants to be "the man" but by no means is that a blanket rule. The last man I dated, I did the initiating, he later told me how thankful he was for that. BTW, we are now married.

Larius

In general, nice guys don't hit on girls outright. It's kinda rude and they are nice. That is why you get hit on by creepers. They want to take advantage of women with lower self esteem. If you want a nice guy, go chat with him. He won't hit on you, but you may hit it off Don't listen to Carrie Bradshaw... gender roles are malleable.

I agree 100%

solpwr

The Game:

1) Guy makes a simple remark that is complimentary or flattering.
2) Girl responds and thanks Guy.
3) Girl must follow up by escalating game in some way... showing interest through extending a conversation, flirting in some way, etc.
4) Guy gets a clue and continues with further interaction.
5) Guy or Girl initiates physical contact in some fashion, either initial or additional contact, that makes it clear that another level is desired.
6) Guy asks Girl out. Alternatively, Girl makes comment that reveals - directly or indirectly - that she is not presently in a relationship. Then Guy asks Girl out.

Good god, it isn't that complicated. If it were, I'd still be single. People make dating complicated by playing games such as above. Honestly, I think people - men and women - need to grow a pair (figuratively, of course!). If you are interested (no matter the gender), then show it. Period. No "Well I am the woman so I should do X, then I will wait patiently and hope he picks up on my clues...".

the men still want to be 'the man' as society dictates they are. It's an ego thing that's accompanied with a fear of rejection!!

That's not how it works where I live (the northeast) where it is perfectly normal and reasonable for a woman to ask a man out and vice versa. Perhaps your guy wants to be "the man" but by no means is that a blanket rule. The last man I dated, I did the initiating, he later told me how thankful he was for that. BTW, we are now married.

What I stated can happen in 2 minutes. But it very often happens like that when you sit back and analyze it. There are exceptions. Duh.

ttrotter1960

In general, nice guys don't hit on girls outright. It's kinda rude and they are nice. That is why you get hit on by creepers. They want to take advantage of women with lower self esteem. If you want a nice guy, go chat with him. He won't hit on you, but you may hit it off Don't listen to Carrie Bradshaw... gender roles are malleable.

This is true!!!

JEK717

I think its WEIRD.....im not asking no dude out.....psh hell no! You want me...gotta work for this!

angryguy77

Dudes in your hood aren't Alpha males or their game is WEEEEEEAK. Sorry to hear that as you look cute. I am sure one will come around sooner then later.

this.

You just have to be around the right guy who doesn't care if he gets rejected. Those are the guys that will talk to you. At least that's how I played the game when i was single. I'm not full of myself, I just figured the worst thing that could happen is she would say no.

ItsCasey

Gender roles are not malleable to me. It's about what each individual is looking for. Some women prefer men who are willing to do the hunting. Some men prefer women who LET them do the hunting. I think less of guys who are so afraid of being shot down that they won't take a chance. That's not me letting society dictate the way things should be done. It's a personal preference for an alpha male.

I don't play hard-to-get. If I'm into you, I'm going to make it as clear as I can without coming over and sitting on your lap. But if you're not willing to take it from there, then it's never going to work between us anyway.

melsinct

What I stated can happen in 2 minutes. But it very often happens like that when you sit back and analyze it. There are exceptions. Duh.

Yes. Duh indeed.

i_love_vinegar

I think its awesome you are going to start asking guys out! I agree with one poster who said that as a very talkative/sociable woman, why not?

Personally, I prefer a guy to ask me out. Then again, I'm very short so I seem less threatening (despite having a very strong [not strong as in being a strong person...just...strong haha] vibe...as people tell me), so I am used to getting asked out probably partly to that, and the fact I am not very talkative.

Next year I am studying abroad in Japan though, and apparently it is common there for the girl to ask the guy out -- I still don't think I will though. :indifferent:

More power to you if you ask guys out though!!! :flowerforyou:

aimeealee

If us women want equality, then there is nothing wrong with it. Just make sure you know the guy before a permanant commitment. I myself have made the first move and as a result have gotten married(both times). For me, the guys I have chosen have underlying self esteem problems. I am hanging in there with the second marriage. My relationship with my dogs is much more fulfilling. Or maybe it is me making the relationship unworthy. I am open to trying to figure it out.