Bad weekend!!! warning long

bricker06

I just need to vent a moment about teenage children. I hope all of you who have teens never have to go through anything like this. My son is 16 and has always been a pretty good kid. A few smart mouth days, a few groundings, you know the typical teenage stuff.

Then, and im not exagerating, suddenly its like he did a 360 and became someone else. As of Monday he started skipping school.

On Wednesday he fought with me so much he decided he didnt want to live here anymore. So he stayed at my Dads house for the night. Then Thursday i busted him skipping again so i grounded him to our house. He was just defiant. By the end of the night He was living at my mom and step dad. Friday he skipped the entire day of school.

I went out looking for him, found him and told him he needed to get out of his car and into my van to go back to grandmas. He of course refused, we argued, I tried to physically remove him from the car, he refused so i called the police. They came, made him agree to get in my van and go to grandmas.

On the drive over he threatened to run away so eventually he would go to the juvenile detention center. That didnt get a rise out of me so he threatened to commit suicide. I inturn let him know if that was the case i was taking him to the hospital for help. He then told me he hated me (with colorful words) and told me he was going to murder me. I then had to call the cops again.

They came to talk to him and found he was just trying to get a rise out of me. In the end he agreed to stay at grandmas until we could start counseling. 2 hours later he said he was going to bed. My mom went to check on him and he was gone. He ran away. So i had to call the cops again.

Now he really is living with my mom. He says he never wants to come home. It is killing me to hear all of this. I cant seem to figue out what snapped. His girlfriend broke up with him but it seems crazy that all this is because of a girl.

I did talk to a social worker who told me i was doing everything right as a parent and i should feel good about that. But i feel like a failure right now. So i justed needed to vent. I hope all of you hug your children and tell them you love them. I keep telling my son but right now he hates me and cant seem to hear me.

bricker06

I just need to vent a moment about teenage children. I hope all of you who have teens never have to go through anything like this. My son is 16 and has always been a pretty good kid. A few smart mouth days, a few groundings, you know the typical teenage stuff.

Then, and im not exagerating, suddenly its like he did a 360 and became someone else. As of Monday he started skipping school.

On Wednesday he fought with me so much he decided he didnt want to live here anymore. So he stayed at my Dads house for the night. Then Thursday i busted him skipping again so i grounded him to our house. He was just defiant. By the end of the night He was living at my mom and step dad. Friday he skipped the entire day of school.

I went out looking for him, found him and told him he needed to get out of his car and into my van to go back to grandmas. He of course refused, we argued, I tried to physically remove him from the car, he refused so i called the police. They came, made him agree to get in my van and go to grandmas.

On the drive over he threatened to run away so eventually he would go to the juvenile detention center. That didnt get a rise out of me so he threatened to commit suicide. I inturn let him know if that was the case i was taking him to the hospital for help. He then told me he hated me (with colorful words) and told me he was going to murder me. I then had to call the cops again.

They came to talk to him and found he was just trying to get a rise out of me. In the end he agreed to stay at grandmas until we could start counseling. 2 hours later he said he was going to bed. My mom went to check on him and he was gone. He ran away. So i had to call the cops again.

Now he really is living with my mom. He says he never wants to come home. It is killing me to hear all of this. I cant seem to figue out what snapped. His girlfriend broke up with him but it seems crazy that all this is because of a girl.

I did talk to a social worker who told me i was doing everything right as a parent and i should feel good about that. But i feel like a failure right now. So i justed needed to vent. I hope all of you hug your children and tell them you love them. I keep telling my son but right now he hates me and cant seem to hear me.

JMAMA

Hang in there. You are doing everything you can at the moment. Good idea to start counseling asap. Sudden changes in behavior are big red flags, your professional can help you sort out those details. I am sure you are worried about him. Reach out to your own supports at this time: church, family, friends, and faith come in handy. I am thinking of you and your son and send my blessings-this is only a temporary situation.:flowerforyou:

Marla64

ditto the red flags for sudden change of behavior-- something's going on. Good for you for taking it proactively. I have four teens right now, one of whom has been more troublesome than the rest. Parenthood isn't for the faint of heart, that's for sure.

Hang in there-- tough love and all that jazz.

HappyathomeMN

You are doing the right things!! He won't get it now, but he will. A sudden change like that is indicative of external influences.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!! You are handling this correctly, especially not backing down when you said you would call the police and you did. Love him though this,like you are, and you will have light at the other end.
Prayers with you

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

songbyrdsweet

I was 16 not *too* long ago, and from what I remember, something that might seem insignificant (like a breakup even though everyone knows that you probably won't marry your 16 y/o SO) can have a HUGE impact on your mental state at that age. The chemical makeup of his personality is still changing, he may be depressed, he may be in some sort of trouble and doesn't know how to cope.....I think I had more stressors in terms of peer pressure, parents, homework, working, back then than I do now. At that age I had a LOT of responsibility, and very little freedom (I could work until 1am, but if I was out with friends, I was grounded if I came home later than 10:05). It's a frustrating time for a lot of teens.

plantlady99

My heart goes out to you. As everyone else has said, you did the right thing by getting counseling.

My prayers are with you.

Keep on loving him. He will come around. It will not be easy but with love you will make it.

:flowerforyou:

DjBliss05

You are definitely not the only parent to go through this!

Get support for yourself, too.

Hang in there. It sounds like you really are doing everything right!

sapphyre0702

Aww I'm sorry that sounds like a rough week.

I am not a parent, but I was your son's age not to long ago and it sounds like he is really upset. His break up may not seem like a big enough deal to cause such a change but it could be a number of things. He could be getting picked on in school and breaking up with his girlfriend could just be the last straw.

I don't know it could be 10000 different things, but it seems like he is devastated and it seems like you are doing everything possible to make sure he is okay and gets to address this.

Good luck I hope everything gets resolved soon.

bricker06

So we have a counseling appointment today. I hope all goes well. Thanks for all your posts.