Ideal first date

ItsCasey

The other thread about what makes a man "well-dressed" and the discussion about how the wrong clothing choices can make your date look stupid got me thinking about good and bad first date ideas.

I have a male friend who is very well off (he was born into money, but he works very hard too), and he insists on taking women to McDonald's on the first date because he wants to make sure they're not gold-diggers. He's a very decent guy overall, so I understand his fear of being taken advantage of, but I make fun of him all the time for the McDonald's thing. I'd never go on a second date with a guy who took me to McDonald's. It's not about money, it's about respect, and I would know immediately that he was playing a game with me.

Then I have another friend who insists on doing the "fancy dinner at the most exclusive restaurant in town" thing because he wants women to know he's not cheap.

I'm not really into the fancy restaurant thing on the first date because I just think it's too much pressure. I prefer to save that for a special occasion when we're in an exclusive relationship. I think first dates should be more relaxed so the two people can have fun and get to know each other's true self, not who they are when they're pretending to be rich and super sophisticated.

Then again, I am not a typical girl. I'm into sports, and I would absolutely die if a guy asked me to go to a baseball game or something on the first date because I'd be thinking 'YES! This guy is not going to think I'm weird when I start talking about the Rangers' pitching rotation!"

Just wanted to see what y'all (men and women) feel the most comfortable doing on the first date.

cawood2

My ideal first date is at a pub with decent food and atmosphere, where you can talk. If there's something interesting on the tv (UFC, hockey, or whatever), even better!

scantrll

My first day with my boyfriend (we've been together now for over 2 years) was to a local Crawfish Festival. It was so much fun! Live music, games, crawfish, what's not to love? Our second date, after he found out I am a zombie nut, was watching a wonderfully cheesy locally done zombie film that he was an extra in! And like I said, two years later and we're still going strong! :laugh:

I personally hate the whole "dinner and a movie" first date idea. You don't actually get to talk to him in the movie and I don't know anyone who is actually attractive while eating.

SarahNicole317

I think it would be better to find something in the middle. I wouldn't eat at McDonald's if I were starving, let alone on a first date. There are probably better ways to make sure a girl isn't after you for the money.

I agree though, it should be relaxed. Maybe drinks, but not a night club where you are likely to get hammered and lose inhibitions.

My first date with my boyfriend of 4 years was going on a run.... funny thing.... I hate hate hate running, but I wanted to hang out with him so once he stuck around I made it pretty clear that we would not be running together... not to mention he was in the Marines so running was a cinch for him and I looked like a fool huffing and puffing for 4 miles!

giammarcor

I always think casual is the best approach on a first date. Especially if it's a blind date or an online initiated date. Some place easy to get to and easy to get out of because, let's face it, sometimes you know it isnt right from the get go. Meeting at a Buffalo Wild Wings or Red Robin would be nice. Or perhaps a local neighborhood pub. As long as you can converse. The high end stuff can be saved for a special moment down the line.

pgun67

It sounds like the two extremes between McDonalds and a fancy restaurant for a first date. I would hope for something in the middle that makes each one comfortable in order to focus on the conversation and getting to know one another. Nothing too loud like a club or too quiet like a movie. Come to think of it, I havent had a first date in a while.

Trisha042415

In my opinion, McDonald's is definitely not the place to go on a first date! On the other hand, wouldn't expect to be taken to a fancy expensive restaurant either. Personally, I like small local places or if the weather is nice somewhere with outside seating. I want to be comfortable on a date and get to know the person I'm with and not worry about what fork to use or to have to listen screaming kids in the playland area! lol

ItsCasey

Any subjects that you think should be off-limits on a first date? Everyone says you shouldn't talk about exes, but I honestly don't have a problem with it unless it's obvious that a guy is still hung up on an ex. Innocent questions like "Have you ever been cheated on?" can turn into a conversation about an ex.

As far as religion and politics, I think if you are a very religious person and/or you're really into politics, then that's a big part of who you are, and those things sort of need to come up early on.

I just don't believe in the idea of avoiding certain topics because it might scare off the other person. If he's/she's scared off by who you are, then aren't you better off knowing that upfront?

Of course there are some things that are rude to discuss with anyone you just met, like how much money you make or your sexual history.

La_Amazona

My ideal first date would be to picked up in a limo or horse carriage. Then we'd trot (or drive) to a romantic dinner he set up for us. It'd be a nice fancy restaurant he had shut down just for us. There'd be a violinist playing for us. There be some good wine and candles of course.

Then we'd go in our horse carriage to a scenic place that overlooks into the city or ocean or whatnot. We'd talk all night over chocolate covered somethings that he specifically ordered from an exotic country. We would lose track of time and before you know it, we'd be cuddled under a blanket (no hanky panky!) SITTING up straight watching the sun rise.. ahhhh

:blushing: While the sun would be rising, we'd share our first kiss!!!



A girl can dream right? Hehe

I'd settle for a semi nice dinner and drinks with lots of fun conversation!!!!

i_love_vinegar

My ideal first date is either going to the beach, an amusement park, or a hot springs.

kbeach08

I think my Ideal first date would be a picnic and a walk at a nice park or some where by the water and then depending on how things go out to a relaxed casual bar or night club for some dancing.
Your friend probably should think about doing something other than mcdonalds but doesn't have to be all expensive either. There are plenty of things he could do that does not involve spending a whole lot of money! He just needs to be more creative. There are also other ways to find out if a girl is a gold digger I don't think he is going to find that out for sure just by taking them to Mcdonalds... lol I agree with you i would rather have the fancy restaurant date after we are together and there is something special to go for.

Funnybunnyboo

my ideal 1st date, i think it would be a cafe/bar, for a light meal with soft music in the background, so you can hear the other person talking. candle light is good, as i am not the youngest person in the world, but that is just a bonus.
mcdonalds is not a date...and a fancy restaurant is like being pimped, so a cosy place, family run type thing, italian, or chinese, all good.
followed by a stroll in the nearby park, or beach..maybe hold hands....yep-that would work for me!!

BamBam1113

My ideal first date would be to picked up in a limo or horse carriage. Then we'd trot (or drive) to a romantic dinner he set up for us. It'd be a nice fancy restaurant he had shut down just for us. There'd be a violinist playing for us. There be some good wine and candles of course.

Then we'd go in our horse carriage to a scenic place that overlooks into the city or ocean or whatnot. We'd talk all night over chocolate covered somethings that he specifically ordered from an exotic country. We would lose track of time and before you know it, we'd be cuddled under a blanket (no hanky panky!) SITTING up straight watching the sun rise.. ahhhh

:blushing: While the sun would be rising, we'd share our first kiss!!!



A girl can dream right? Hehe

I'd settle for a semi nice dinner and drinks with lots of fun conversation!!!!

All that and NO hanky panky while cuddling under a blanket? Yeah...that's a dream.

koosdel

My ideal first date would involve her having a bass boat.

..or her own shotgun.

jtsmou

I don't date, people tend not to be who they first appear to be in those situations, and many times you don't find that out till you get further down the road and realize how much time you just wasted. I would rather get to know someone casually over time where nobody is under pressure to put up a front. Lots of people deny doing that, but they are unwitting liars. I also refuse to knowingly put myself into a situation with someone who I know is seeing multiple people, or "playing the field." I'm not criticizing people who do that, it's just that it starts to feel too much like a competition in my mind. I don't want to set myself up for failure if I'm really into someone. Plus, I don't want to screw around with someone who is banging 2, 3 ,4 other guys while she is seeing me. I don't like to share, and it just seems gross.

ItsCasey

My ideal first date would involve her having a bass boat.

..or her own shotgun.

I don't have a shotgun, but I do have a Ruger .380 and a concealed carry permit. Makes for some interesting first date conversations when I have to tell a guy I can't drink because I have a gun in my purse.

lilRicki

my first date with my fiance was probably the best date i've ever been on...we met at the pub across the street from my house, and walked down the main street to get our palms read at this tiny little coffee shop. We then grabbed a coffee to go and just strolled, ended up back at my apartment and just talked all night. About a year later he told me that the card reader said the woman he was with tonight was the woman he will be with for the rest of his life...scared the hell out of him lol...turns out almost 4 years later we're getting married Doesn't matter if you have money or not, you need imagination and some fun

ItsCasey

I also refuse to knowingly put myself into a situation with someone who I know is seeing multiple people, or "playing the field." I'm not criticizing people who do that, it's just that it starts to feel too much like a competition in my mind. I don't want to set myself up for failure if I'm really into someone. Plus, I don't want to screw around with someone who is banging 2, 3 ,4 other guys while she is seeing me. I don't like to share, and it just seems gross.

I was having a conversation with a co-worker about this the other day. We were discussing how, back in the day, it was common to be dating multiple people at one time, but these days, it's sort of frowned upon. My co-worker (a married woman in her 50s) didn't understand why, and I said "Well, back then, girls weren't sleeping with the guys they dated, so you didn't have to worry about falling for a guy and then finding out he was messing around with 10 other women."

But I agree with you, it's just gross to be thinking that this person you're going out with and perhaps being physically intimate with (and to me, even 1st and 2nd base are "physically intimate") is also doing the same thing with other people. I could go out with a guy on some non-physical dates until we determined whether or not we wanted to be in a relationship, but I could not be intimate with him if I knew he was being intimate with other women. Gross.

Sh1tsRainbows

My ideal first date would involve her having a bass boat.

..or her own shotgun.

I don't have a shotgun, but I do have a Ruger .380 and a concealed carry permit. Makes for some interesting first date conversations when I have to tell a guy I can't drink because I have a gun in my purse.

haha thats great!!!

ItsCasey

my first date with my fiance was probably the best date i've ever been on...we met at the pub across the street from my house, and walked down the main street to get our palms read at this tiny little coffee shop. We then grabbed a coffee to go and just strolled, ended up back at my apartment and just talked all night. About a year later he told me that the card reader said the woman he was with tonight was the woman he will be with for the rest of his life...scared the hell out of him lol...turns out almost 4 years later we're getting married Doesn't matter if you have money or not, you need imagination and some fun

I agree. I am not impressed when a guy with money does the "Let me spend a thousand bucks on you in one night" thing. Anybody can come up with an amazing evening if they have all the money in the world. But you have to really care about someone to come up with a fun, creative night.

Carl01

I would like to find out what a second date is like.