Women only please! (Unless you're a doctor)

SueInAz

Today's home pregnancy tests are actually pretty darn accurate. They've gotten much better over the last 20 years.

You do sound incredibly stressed out and that can certainly cause you to skip. Also, it doesn't sound like you're eating enough. A 700 calorie per day net is not good for you. Anorexics stop having periods, mostly because their body fat is too low to support a pregnancy. I'm sure that's probably not your issue, but it's something to consider.

I can tell you that I've been in your situation. I was married in my early 20s. Money was always tight and things were usually a bit stressful. I'm sure the thought of a pregnancy on top of everything else is making it even worse. Don't worry, it does get better!!

Take a deep breath and try to do some things to help you relax. Long baths, exercise (if that de-stresses you), etc. Wait until you're due for your period again and if it doesn't come, definitely check out Planned Parenthood or another women's clinic. Or you could go today if it would help your peace of mind.

dlaplume2

You are probably not pregnant if the urine tests keep saying negative and you are that late. You mentioned premenopausal and hot flashes, but did not mention your age. Stress and all the other symptoms you talked about certainly can cause you to skip a period. I do agree with going to a clinic for a test, though they usually do a urine test too. IF you decide to wait though, one recommendation I do have, which you will probably want to hit me for, is you should be treating your body as if you are pregnant. take care of yourself just in case. When I was ttc my doctor told me to act as if I were pregnant, not to smoke or drink and take my prenatal vitamins, etc. You might want to consinder that just in case. (my disclaimer is I am very fertile, it wasn't like it was going to take months and I was going to miss out on wine at New Years or a wedding or anything) Just a thought


Best wishes to you,

rn_jacki

well if the only reason your stressing is because you like one glass of wine before bed at night i wouldn't worry. fetal alcohol syndrome is from severe alcoholics... think a 24 pack everynight.

FYI: this is so wrong in so many ways. I certainly hope noone actually listens to this. Sure a glass of wine here or there MIGHT not harm your baby. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is NOT just for severe alcoholics. There are NO research studies that accurately indicate how much alcohol is a safe amount of alcohol to consume while pregnant because no person in their right mind would sign up to participate in that study! If you (or anyone) thinks they are pregnant consuming alcohol should be postponed!

comma44

If pregnany tests are negative and you've done 5 of them, chances are you probably aren't pregnant - a blood test would be the best way to confirm.

But let's talk about those 1000 calories, and the 700 net. I used to be anorexic, once I got to restricting below 1200 calories and getting into the 0-1000 range... I lost my period. It only took me 1-2 months to get that point and I was not underweight yet when they stopped. Coming from someone that has been there... 700 net calories *really* isn't enough to fuel your body. Even 1000 calories is not enough. Losing your period is your body's way of telling you that it no longer considers you healthy enough to nourish a baby and that it is literally only currently able to keep up with the most basic processes to keep you alive. A 700-1000 calorie diet is not sustainable, it will affect your mood immensely (you said your depressed), and when you lose weight and reach your goal weight and start eating "normally" your body will have adapted to a ridiculously low calorie intake and you will gain weight very quickly.

I know it can be hard to do this a slow and steady way especially when you are comparing yourself to your husband and his weight loss. But I would really encourage you to do this in a more healthy way, consult with a doctor. I have been told to eat no less than 1500 calories and that my net calories shouldn't be lower than 1200 ever, and even that is pushing it. I want to restrict to lower calories because I know I can do it, I've done it before. But I also don't want to open the door to all the psychological and physical issues that come with it, and I want this to be a sustainable change that will last for a lifetime, not just for a year. Good luck to you

taurie

Is there a Planned Parenthood near you? I'm sure there is some way you can see a medical professional without having to pay a lot.

That being said, you probably missed your period due to stress. Increasing exercise, dieting, getting married, moving are all stressful. Give your body some TLC... you might find once you relax for a couple days you might just get your period.

There's nothing you can do about the wine you had... but it would probably be a good idea to not have any more until you confirm you are not pregnant. Different governments give different guidelines as to what is considered safe in regards to alcohol consumption while you are pregnant. In the US they tell you to completely abstain; here in the UK it's 1 to 2 units no more than 2x a week if you choose not to abstain. It's obviously safest to abstain.

LorinaLynn

I can't say enough good things about Planned Parenthood. They're so wonderfully supportive, understanding and non-judgmental that I *still* go there, at 39 years of age with decent insurance. I like 'em better than my regular doc.

First step - make sure you're not pregnant. Second step - decide what you want to use to prevent getting pregnant. It's likely to be stress, exercise and not eating enough this time, but you can't count on the pull-out method.

strapple

thank everyone so much for their advice and kind words.

i wanted to clarify a couple more things. i know it only takes once, but my husband and i have only had sex one time since my last period (because weve been busy/stressed)

also i said i had premenopausal cramps but i meant premenstrual (auto correct messed me up there)

from everything i've read here i've decided to call planned parenthood to arrange a blood test and work on finding some free counseling through my school to help alleviate stress. no more wine until the blood test results come in! i am also going to try much harder to net 1200 calories like a normal person. thank you so much everyone for your support.

justsummie

well if the only reason your stressing is because you like one glass of wine before bed at night i wouldn't worry. fetal alcohol syndrome is from severe alcoholics... think a 24 pack everynight.

FYI: this is so wrong in so many ways. I certainly hope noone actually listens to this. Sure a glass of wine here or there MIGHT not harm your baby. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is NOT just for severe alcoholics. There are NO research studies that accurately indicate how much alcohol is a safe amount of alcohol to consume while pregnant because no person in their right mind would sign up to participate in that study! If you (or anyone) thinks they are pregnant consuming alcohol should be postponed!

Can't say that I 100% agree with FAS being only for severe alcholics but I do know several women who were worried about finding out they pregnant after having a few drink-filled nights and they're doctors all gave them pretty much the same speech: the stress placed on your body by worrying about it is worse than the act it self. I've also heard about one glass of red-wine having potential health benefits.

dlaplume2

thank everyone so much for their advice and kind words.

i wanted to clarify a couple more things. i know it only takes once, but my husband and i have only had sex one time since my last period (because weve been busy/stressed)

also i said i had premenopausal cramps but i meant premenstrual (auto correct messed me up there)

from everything i've read here i've decided to call planned parenthood to arrange a blood test and work on finding some free counseling through my school to help alleviate stress. no more wine until the blood test results come in! i am also going to try much harder to net 1200 calories like a normal person. thank you so much everyone for your support.

Good for you.
I truly hope you get the answers you are hoping for. Best wishes.

skibrina

there could be a lot of factors going on with you. Stress is your number 1 thing right now. Stress can reduce your period. Also, burning 300 calories and only getting 700 calories will put your body into stress mode. You have to feed your body. us girls are not like men. they can loose weight quickly. it's there male testosagen. (can't spell) I struggle myself. my husdand can loose weight very quickly. i get bummed and discouraged. don't beat yourself up. a new marriage, it does take some time to get used to. both my husband and I have been married before. we also have kids from our previous marriage and have 1 together. it is a lot of work. i just turned 33 this year. the demands on life can weigh us all down. you and your husband need to find what will work for you. if you are really worried about getting pregnant then you might want to consider other forms for birth control. my youngest son, is the pull out method. doesn't alway go the way we want it planned. i love him to death. maybe taking some time off from work, and getting your house put together, or have a girls night out. just so you can feel like you again. the pressure you are facing can really be a burden at times. i agree with the other girls here. find a free clinic get tested for pregnancy and find a thereapist or someone you can help some help from and confide in. It really helps when you have someone outside listening. I pray for you that all gets better for you. we are all here to help each other out. I hope i didn't say anything to offend you in any way. enjoy life!!! the demands can be challenging. so rewarding!!!! take care sweetie!
Sabrina:happy:

strapple

Well, I called our family doctor for some free medical advice. I told him everything and he said it would be a waste to get a blood test after failing five urine tests because my body is obviously malnourished and incredibly stressed. So that relieved me right away! He gave me information on a cheap therapist he reccormends highly and my parents said they were willing to pay for it. On top of that I discussed it with my rabbi and he gave me information on some weight support groups for struggling women in our community.

This was a huge wake up call! I am for sure going to try to net at LEAST 1000-1200 daily and start actually eating back half my burned calories. Also I've decided to cut out the wine before bed unless I'm having an extremly hard time sleeping that night.

I think I am going to stop worrying so much about the food and focus more on working out.

Thank everyone for your kind words and advice. All of these wonderful posts and my doctors confirmation really put my mind at so much ease! I'm so lucky to have found this community. :')<3

Nikstergirl

With my first baby I took several home tests... all negative. Found out I was six weeks along when I thought I had the flu!!!! Felt like crap, dr did a test, and I was preggo! I was happy about it, but kinda shocked. All the home tests said I wasn't!

Anyway, that doesn't mean you are, but if you're really worried, you might want to ask a doctor. I wouldn't put that off!!!

husker_gal

ok so here's the deal. If you are testing negative on urine HPTs, and you are in fact 19 days late and you are 10000% sure that you did ovulate then you need to go check with your doctor. Otherwise, if you have been under stress lately that can affect your ovulation. Some women will ovulate no matter what but given that you have had issues in the past with irregularity you probably are already having a little trouble with ovulating making you more suseptable to anovulation. Some women will, on occasion, feel as though they are ovulating. They'll have all the symptoms, cervical mucus, LH surge (on ovulation tests) but then for what ever reason the little sac that holds your egg won't rupture to release it. This would cause you to think that you ovulated when really you didn't.

I'm going through almost the EXACT same thing right now. Almost to the T of what you described. I'm 18 days late with a history of irregular periods except I have a diagnosis of unexplained infertility. I highly doubt I'm pregnant but you may be. I would continue to eat healthy. Start a prenatal vitamin and retest in another week with first morning urine on a home pregnancy test if you absolutely can't go to the doctor. Some women won't test positive on a hpt for whatever reason until they are closer to 8 weeks along. Just keep tabs on it. Eventually you will either get your period or a positive. As a general rule of thumb, if you don't know if you are pregnant then act as you are. Get plenty of rest, take a prenatal vitamin, drink plenty of water, and eat nutritously.

Good luck, girl and keep us posted!

strapple

I actually suffer from infertility too! we have way more in common gosh!

husker_gal

that's crazy! The hubby and I have been trying for over 3 years. I'm hoping my late period is really because of a pregnancy but I don't even let myself get my hopes up anymore. Here's to hoping we both get a baby when we are ready! :drinker:

DizzieLittleLifter

I think it is highly unlikely that you are pg. Stress, food (sugar in particular) and exercise plays a huge role in how our hormones act. If you had a sustainable pg your HCG levels would rise and the tests would show a positive. It is not common to get a false negative it's much more common to get a false positive. That being said there is something the Dr. can give you to help you start your next cycle. I personally would go to the Dr. Good luck!

Elizabeth_C34

I sometimes miss periods when I'm not on the pill and really stressed out.

Start using some kind of birth control unless you are prepared to be pregnant. You don't have to use hormones. There are a million options.

Infertility isn't always 100%. Some women still get pregnant after dealing with years of infertility.

miriamtorason

Honestly? As I'm sure everyone and their uncle has said here, it sounds like stress delayed your ovulation (or completely canned it for this cycle), and your body is either having a very long cycle, ramping up to a true ovulation, or you may have just skipped.

Every time I see something like this (someone, somewhere with concerns about their period and potential pregnancy) my answer is always the same: There is little I can do to help, as I'm not in your shoes, but I *highly* recommend reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Wescheler. It is a FABULOUS book that can answer a lot of these questions or help you figure out what sorts of things you're seeing based on your own physiology.

*hugs* and good luck to you, though!!

Benji49

You are a normal person honey. We've all been stressed and anxious and depressed at one time or the other.

One thing that wasn't mentioned was the simple one that I learned the hard way. Your man married you because he wanted to - he loves you and he wants to be there for you. Sit down beside him and tell him everything you're feeling and share a hug. You would be amazed at the amount of under valuing we put on a hug from someone who loves you. Marriage is a lifetime if you approach it is a partnership. I married my best friend - it just took me a few years to figure that out.

Deep breathing also helps tremendously when you're stressed.

Good luck, and take care of yourself.

DizzieLittleLifter

Honestly? As I'm sure everyone and their uncle has said here, it sounds like stress delayed your ovulation (or completely canned it for this cycle), and your body is either having a very long cycle, ramping up to a true ovulation, or you may have just skipped.

Every time I see something like this (someone, somewhere with concerns about their period and potential pregnancy) my answer is always the same: There is little I can do to help, as I'm not in your shoes, but I *highly* recommend reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Wescheler. It is a FABULOUS book that can answer a lot of these questions or help you figure out what sorts of things you're seeing based on your own physiology.

*hugs* and good luck to you, though!!

YES! Fabulous book! Double recommend!