Should you say something if an outfit doesnt flatter?

mikeyrp

my wife and i started our weight loss journey together at the start of the year. We've both lost lots of weight and whilst there is still a little way to go i think she is looking hotter than ever... So today she way trying on a skirt which she delibrately bought in a tight fit and it didnt look great. In a month or so im sure it will look fantastic but not quite yet.

I said what i thought, because i know she likes to look good when we go out- but i know it upset her. Did i do the right thing?

Heather75

Yes, as long as you said it in a gentle way. I'm sure once she gets over the frustration of it not fitting properly she will be happy that you told her the truth and didn't let her leave the house looking bad.

fteale

NO. NO NO NO NO NO.

Lisabackontrack

I'm all for being honest. I think you did the right thing as long as you were kind and gentle in telling her. I know I appreciate it when my husband is honest with me about things like that. Ladies like to look their best and I'm sure she appreciated your honesty even though it likely stung a bit. Just make sure you tell her how beautiful you think she is too!

bethdris

YES! I'd much rather my my husband tell me at HOME that my shirt doesn't fit just yet, instead of going out in public and others saying it behind my back!

peacestar84

I think you did the right thing. If you can't be honest with those you love what's the point of spending time together. Partners or friends need that honesty cause I would not want to go out in public if something really didn't look good on me, and I wouldn't want to over hear a stranger commenting.

SavannaN

I think you did.

sam1320

i could NEVER tell anyone else that they look bad, i just dont have the guts to do it, its probably awful of me, i just get to nervous about thier feelings

jujubean1992

... yes and no... a girl needs ONE and i repeat ONE person that will be bluntly honest with them... if it's you for your wife then you did the right thing it also depends on how you tell her... my fiance will be like "baby i like this shirt/dress/pants on you better" my SIL my one bluntly honest person will be like "you look like a skank. now go change your shirt" lol.

genie98

You did the right thing. I would want my husband to tell me if something doesn't look good on me and he has. We don't want to go out and look horrible! My husband has been very supportive through my weight loss and he thinks I look good even though I have more to lose and still will tell me if it's not okay to wear something. I like his honestly even though it does hurt a little!

california_peach

I am going with the no camp. Let her girlfriend be the bad guys. You need to be that one person who find her beautiful, no matter what.

mikeyrp

Thanks guys... Except we weren't going out- she was just trying it on. Plan is to wear it for a party in a few weeks (she likes to plan ahead)... I guess its the same????

mikeyrp

I am going with the no camp. Let her girlfriend be the bad guys. You need to be that one person who find her beautiful, no matter what.

In my defence she doesnt really have 'that' girlfriend.

chris0912

You absolutely did the right thing. Just imagine if she had worn it out of the house and someone else commented on how it was too tight... you would've been in even more trouble for not having told her yourself. I was a retail *kitten* for many, many years and always told customers the brutal truth about the clothes they tried on, even if it meant not making a sale. I had numerous customers that would only shop when I was working because they knew they'd walk out with great outfits that looked great on them.

2stepz

It may fit in a few weeks...

Personally, I'm all for the honesty, as long as it is conveyed in a kind way.

SandyEdge

Bro - you are really tempting fate.
Commenting on newly purchased clothes is very dangerous.

If your wife had just gone out and bought the skirt then she obviously thinks it looks great on her.

If you really wanted to let her know i would have tried to tell her in a way that doesnt intimate that it looks bad. Perhaps somehing like: "hey thats a really nice skirt. Good one. It will look even better on you as you lose more weight"

BTW remember if a girl EVER asks you "am I fat ?" The answer is "no. no way".
Its just easier.

LorinaLynn

I certainly hope my husband would tell me if I looked like crap in something! And I think any woman of marrying age should be strong enough to hear the truth.

mikeyrp

Bro - you are really tempting fate.
Commenting on newly purchased clothes is very dangerous.

If your wife had just gone out and bought the skirt then she obviously thinks it looks great on her.

If you really wanted to let her know i would have tried to tell her in a way that doesnt intimate that it looks bad. Perhaps somehing like: "hey thats a really nice skirt. Good one. It will look even better on you as you lose more weight"

BTW remember if a girl EVER asks you "am I fat ?" The answer is "no. no way".
Its just easier.

Sigh... If only it were that easy: e-bay purchase. Plus I believe in honesty: there is a massive difference between "that doesnt flatter you" and "you dont look good". I repeat: she look great imho!

garysgirl719

I am firmly in the yes camp. I beg my husband to be honest with me and not beat around the bush. I would much rather him tell me the truth than be the "you look beautiful no matter what" and let others talk behind my back. I don't think his telling me an outfit doesn't look good is him not thinking I am beautiful. I think it's him loving me no matter and helping me to look my best.

mikeyrp

You can probably tell im feeling a bit defensive on this... LOL. im sure she is well over it

MrsRobertson1005

Tell her you already said you think it'd look better if she lost some more weight, which she might by then, and if she hasn't she can save it for the next event

zeeeb

yes, you did the right thing... truth sometimes sucks to hear, but i'd rather hear the truth, even if it does upset me.

My partner tells me the truth, and tries to be kind and reasonably sensitive about it when it comes to weight, but eventually I got the picture and heard the truth and made the necessary changes.

one should never lie about such things. i hate it when someone tells me i look great, when obviously it's just a lie and i look terrible.

microwoman999

Hey my Man tells me the truth and if he did not tell me I would be extremely upset if I went out and looked a little eh! I think you did the right thing. I feel a little upset sometimes when he tells me the truth but I am glad he does and we talk about it if it upset me. So all in all I am a happily married woman who has an honest husband. Besides as sad as it sounds even though he doesn't say it I can tell now that he finds me more attractive than I was 50lbs ago. The little things are noticeable to women or atleast most of us. Just talk to her about it and tell her your sorry if you upset her she should understand.

sister_bear

Ultimately, it depends on the dynamic of your relationship.

I'm in the 'yes' camp, but perhaps she wasn't in the right state to receive that yes.

For example, not sure what you said or did, but this would work for me with about a 95% success rate:

Kissed, hugged, told how beautiful I was, 'the skirt doesn't flatter you yet BUT I can imagine how great it will look very soon. Have I told you how proud I am of you?' and then recap the beautiful with another hug/kiss.

A flattery sandwich. :laugh:

yummy♥

Yes, as long as you said it in a gentle way. I'm sure once she gets over the frustration of it not fitting properly she will be happy that you told her the truth and didn't let her leave the house looking bad.

^^ this.

i respect my husband for caring enough to deliver the truth, 'cuz it isn't always what i want to hear.

megz4987

If she asks, absolutely be honest. Not brutally... but be honest.

skinnyinnotime

You. Must. Be. Mad.

Oh dear, there are times to be honest and this isn't one of them!

MichelleB69

DID she ask your opinion? If so, then yes...you definitely should've told her; albeit gently and ending on a positive note with something like "you are gonna ROCK that skirt when we go to Susie's wedding in a few weeks"

If she didn't ask your opinion, then tread lightly my friend.

SandyEdge

This is a great thread - obviously opinions differ on this one.

My wife and I make time every 6 months or so to help clean out each others wardrobes - when we do a "Queer eye for the straight guy" on each others clothes..
It is done in a very light hearted way - but the comments can get across none-the-less.
And the ugly pieces of clothing get tossed out (well actually recycled)...

jeannas

I am firmly in the yes camp. I beg my husband to be honest with me and not beat around the bush. I would much rather him tell me the truth than be the "you look beautiful no matter what" and let others talk behind my back. I don't think his telling me an outfit doesn't look good is him not thinking I am beautiful. I think it's him loving me no matter and helping me to look my best.

I totally agree with the above and I would show her this thread...so she knows how much you really are concerned about her feelings! You are a keeper!