Bad mood today, anyone got any jokes to cheer me up?!

fitnessjch

Bad mood today, anyone got any jokes to cheer me up?!

Maredip

A seal walks into a club....



( i swear Im not saying that to be mean, my 13 year old is obsessed with harp seals, and she loves that joke):flowerforyou:

lilvixen84

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.

When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

"Well," said her mother, "how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon as wonderful! So romantic..."

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before!
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home... PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama ... he used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."

"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.

Maredip

L O L :flowerforyou:

jstrohs1

Peanuts,,,,,,

Tour Bus driver is driving with a Bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old Lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, ‘Why don’t you eat the Peanuts yourself"?

‘We can’t chew them because we have no teeth’, she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, ‘Why do you buy them then”?

The Old Lady Replied,

‘We just love the chocolate around them”.