People who change when you lose weight

Nachos88

Okay. I've lost about 45 lbs in the last 2 years.
Now it's like, everyone comments on how i eat and it's kind of sad.
I didn't lose weight for other people. I did it for myself. For my happiness.

But it's hard to be happy, when people (friends & family) constantly ask
me what it is i'm eating today. Co-workers at work who stare into my lunch,
who say things like, "OMG u're eating" Who gives comebacks like, "at least i'm eating."
People make comments and make me feel like i have some kind of disease like bulimia or anorexia.

No one knows how disgusting i felt all through highschool.
How awkward and time consuming my weight has been for me.

I've achieved sooo much, and yet I feel like I'm still at war.
I'm constantly reminded about my weight. I just want that 45 lbs i lost,
to disappear.

So fustrating.

randa_behnam

thats very sad to read. you should be so proud of what you have acheived.

The reason they are saying this is pure jealousy. You look fantastic and they must just be stuck in a rut. Let them make comments at the end of the day, your the one who knows how much work you have had to put in and you will reap the rewards )

Lleldiranne

Tell them straight up "Hey, I don't comment when I see you eating stuff that I don't, so why do you think it's okay to comment on what I eat."

rml_16

I'm sorry you're surrounded by so much negativity. I guess all you can do is ignore them and be happy with yourself.

thetrishwarp

I know it's frustrating but people only say those things because they're insecure about their own weight. It's easier to pick on you for being fit than to get off their own arses and do something about their own problems.

If you are proud of your body and what you have accomplished with weight loss (which you should be!) then just try to let them be

Bub3les0

Isn't it sad when people don't support our efforts. Just remember people are probably jelous! You've done really well don't let others spoil it for u

Bub3les0

Isn't it sad when people don't support our efforts. Just remember people are probably jelous! You've done really well don't let others spoil it for u

Bub3les0

Isn't it sad when people don't support our efforts. Just remember people are probably jelous! You've done really well don't let others spoil it for u

luvJOJO

I feel your pain! Sometimes I feel like I'm under a microscope!!

campb2ti

Completely understand! I had all the support in the world when I began my journey and after the weight and inches started to come off and I started to feel more self-confident and good about my body people started making comments on how much I ate (or didn't eat) what i was (or wasn't eating) and how I am obsessed with my weight. Sometimes I just want to scream that I'm not the unhealthy one, they are. instead I just let it roll off my back and know that I started this journey for myself, not for them.

EmBlazes

Congratulations on your achievements! I know a lot of people who lost weight like you and then had people say things like:
"you really should be careful - you don't want to be TOO thin"
"wow you better eat something or you will fade away to nothing"
"glad I don't have to eat rabbit food like you"

etc. etc.

The best way to overcome this is to just be really happy around them and tell them as a come back to these types of statements that you feel healthier than you ever have before. I'm sure some people are probably jealous or envious as well!!

soxmandan

They be sippin on that HATERade hahaha dont sweat them, they are probably jealous that they dont look as awesome as you

fitaliciag

I get comments like that, or odd looks when i refuse something unhealthy that someone offers to me....screw em.

you are in charge of what goes into your body and you should not give a flying F&*K what they think!

they look at you like that because they don't understand how you have the self control that they don't, and who cares? you just keep doing what makes you feel comfortable. everyone around you can look fat while they eat what they want. and you can look good while eating what you want

ShellyMacchi

Tell them straight up "Hey, I don't comment when I see you eating stuff that I don't, so why do you think it's okay to comment on what I eat."

*like*

*L*

shannaire

Tell them it's none of their business some people r soooooo rude n think they have a right to tell you what 2 do
Don't worry bout em stay strong n try not 2 let it get 2 u xxx

mazza2marilyn

be proud of the weight you have lost,just ask them if they have a problem with it and to get a life
.i started my diet yesterday and i will be over the moon when i loose that amount.

sche1amy

The best thing to do is to ignore them. I was at an all girls party with family and friends. An old family friend got on my case saying "you are to skinny" , " you can see your bones", "you need to be committed to a eating disorder clinic". She went on and on and to this day I do not speak to her. This is coming from a woman who is obese with a heart issue and she jumps on me for being a healthy weight.

I was 239.9 at my heaviest and now am 158 with a few more pds to go. My doctor is proud of me as is my bf and daughter. I did not do this for anyone but myself. I did it for me so I could be happy and healthy.

You keep it up and do not worry what they say. Hold your head high and stay proud!

shannaire

Also well done on your weight loss it's amazing x

emilymiesel

Oh I'm sorry you have to deal with people like that! They are just jealous they don't have the drive you do!! People are dumb so blow them off and keep your head up!

Roszepoo

Insecure, negative, jealous people exist and will always come against those of us who are succeeding at something. Understand that you are probably looking very beautiful, your hard work is paying off, and the lazy, unmotivated people around you are a bit jealous. They will steal your joy IF YOU LET THEM. The key is not to let them. How?
You could realize that they ARE insecure and pity them. You could come up with some quick comebacks (make a light joke of it all-poke some fun at them and at yourself-very healthy) such as "Yeah, starvation's not where it's at" or "I've decided there is no future in unhealthy habits" or "Yes, I an eating today-thought I'd copy you for a change" or "Way to be discouraging, guys" or sarcastic version "Way to be encouraging, guys"etc.
They may not really get how negative and discouraging they are.
My daughter has learned to say to me "That's not encourging" if I slip up in the area of negativity. I think it great of her-strong, intelligent, and brave.
Best Wishes.

juscallmeb

I understand where you are coming from. It's disappointing when people have to belittle one's achievements.

When people at my work stare at my food or make comments like "OMG you're eating"... at first I would make little comments back to them like ... OMG I AM EATING, what's wrong with me!? and I usually say, - I know my lunch looks great, but NO you can't have any - I need my food....

I also have people who tell me - I run too much, I don't eat enough. I'm too healthy. - (REALLY!)
I tell them, listen, I'm healthy and I'm happy. Please be happy for me and if you can't, then please don't make any comments about how I live my life. I run because I love to, it's my release and makes me happy. I eat because I am giving my body fuel to keep doing what I do. Just because I don't down a bag of chips doesn't mean I don't eat.
I do eat, I just eat healthier options because I know what I need to give my body.

All in all, sweetie, tell these people to just worry about themselves. Sometimes you have to put people in their place.
It's not being mean or rude. It's about being respectful to yourself and them respecting you and your choices.

I hope you find comfort in knowing everyone here is happy for you for all your hard work. It's a great accomplishment to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Keep up the hard work.
xoxo

4himalone

I understand! I have MS and some other health issues. I started my health journey last yr. I lost about 25lbs. before I found this site. I got new clothes b/c the old ones were too big. My one co worker critiques my clothing, my lunch, my hair...etc. She is not a happy person. She struggles w/ her weight and her self esteem. However, she is not willing to 'give up' what she thinks she deserves to accomplish healthy goals (meaning..'I had a rough day, I deserve that piece of cake...or....to lay on the couch and do nothing..)

After a long day at work, I will go home and force myself to do cardio. Yes, I did say 'force'. Cardio is the last thing I want to do after a full day of work. But when I finish w/ the cardio, I am in such a better place mentally as well as physically!

Yoga is my best friend. I love practicing yoga!
My family and friends think I am nuts but I can move better and I do not get winded.
I ask you...who is 'nuts'?????

Remember, this is your gift to yourself! I will continue to eat right, exercise and just have fun for ME...to hell w/ the nay sayers!

You are doing great. This is for you! ((((HUGS))))

Trishkit

It's threads like this that make me proud to be part of this community! Look at all of these amazingly supportive people! So awesome!

That said, the "real world" can be tough. As I've been on my journey off and on, I've had people in my life who make those annoying comments, too. The biggest culprit is my MIL (who I think would qualify as being morbidly obese), who makes those little "joke" side comments like, "Oh, you can eat that?" and "Oh, sorry, you probably can't have any of this, can you?" You know what? I decide for myself what I will and won't eat and everything that goes into my body is a conscious choice. I could eat that if I wanted to, but honestly, I have no desire to go anywhere near it!

I also get super-peeved at the comments about how I'm going to "waste away into a stick" or "fade away into nothing". Really? I'm still 45lbs overweight and you think I'm fading away into nothing? I don't meant this as a diss to anyone who's very overweight, least of all my MIL, but I guess that the size difference might put things in a different perspective. To her, I might very well look shrunken and tiny.

My goal is to become as active as I can and someday go jogging or running for fun. I'm not there yet, but that's what I'd like to do. And to my in-laws, who have always led low-activity lives (according to my husband), that seems strange and bizarre. I'm already used to the comments and different vibes coming from them, due to my vegan diet, so it will be just one more things to let roll off my shoulders and leave behind.

People who aren't making this journey with us don't understand the mindset and challenges that we overcome. That's something that I have to remind myself of daily. Some people just don't get it, and it's up to me to take the high road and not let them bring me down.

Hugs to all of you! You're doing so great!

irridia

I have to share something not related to health choices, but very much related to weight loss. My mom worked in an office full of busybody know it alls who couldn't do their share of work but had all the time in the world to contemplate and then comment on my mom's weight loss.

This has reaaally tainted my perspective when it comes to negative/stupid comments regarding weight loss and I am afraid I am not very kind in response.

You see my mom got very very sick. She had been struggling with trying to lose weightfor all of my known memory of her. My dad would be oh so helpful by making fun of her when she tried to exercise, and I'm afraid that until I was old enough to understand that this was wrong, I followed suit as did my brother.

Well, mom started feeling nausious all of the time. she had successfully been cleared of having had breast cancer and declared cancer free for over 5 years when she lost her voice and started feeling pukey. It progressed to not being able to keep down food at all and finding food she used to love tasting nasty to her. At first she was happy at loosing weight, she had stopped smoking because it just didn't appeal to her anymore. People complemented her and when I would go to her office say something about her weight loss. In my head I knew it was bad, but neither of us wanted to face it. Neither did the docs, they kept saying it was sinus related. After 6 months they finally decided to do actual tests and said she had lymphoma, by then she was really really tiny.

These stupid biddies would come to me and say "your mom really needs to stop losing weight she's getting to skinny, we are worried about her." Yet the whole time they were shoving their work off on to her, when they were actually hired to HELP her!

She would sit in her office and hack up stuff all the time and puke right after trying to eat and these self-absorbed morons were acting like she was losing weight on purpose. When she went into the hospital she weighed 98 lbs and looked like a concentration camp victim. I would have given any thing to have been able to see her eat and keep it down!

My point in this story is that people need to think about what could be going on in the other person's lives before they open their mouths to criticize or offer un asked for advise! Unless you are super close to someone, you just don't know, they could be skinny because they have cancer!

So my idea of the perfect response to that sort of thing would be to look them straight in the eye and ask "How far can you run?" "Can you run up the stairs" or what ever other fitness goal you have obtained ( I wouldn't challenge anyone to a push up contest because I would lose ;-> ) If they say yes then make em throw down, if they say no then say I can and then tell them how great it makes you feel and that they should try it them selves and offer them help/support/advice and then let them know "because I would love it if you could be around a long time and I feel like you are shaving years off of your life by being unfit" or however diplomatically you can put it.

Good luck and keep up the great work> I need to go kick some circuit training butt now!

Shaping_My_Destiny

I'm sorry you're going through that. Some people, by nature, are insensitve. They don't know your struggles. They probably have no idea of the impact on you. You might consider saying something like, "I know you don't mean any harm and I'd prefer if you wouldn't comment on my diet. It's a sensitive issue for me. Thanks."

Otherwise, if you don't feel comfortable, tell yourself that person is ignorant of your stuggles and doesn't mean any harm. Then, tell yourself, "I'm proud of overcoming this weight struggle."

Best wishes!

paigele

Nsiren
I get the same thing, except coworkers now are saying " Stop right there, Don't lose any more, not one pound." I appreciate the concern behind their motives, but I could easily take off another 10 lbs without getting too thin. I tell them they don't know what these scrubs are hiding.
To shut them up I went to my dr for a visit after reaching the 45 lbs total loss point and he said I was doing fine. I even brought him an eating and exercise log I printed from MFP to show him what I am doing, which he kept in my chart.
Learn to recognize that yes there is probably some jealousy there but listen to the ones who say they admire your stamina. The others just don't know what to do with such a positive role model. There are not as many of those in our society as negativity feeders.
You stay with it, lady and feel good about turning heads.

dad106

Hun 45 pounds is huge and you need to be proud of that!

I lost about 20 pounds in the last 6 months and my mom tells me stuff like that too. Since I'm so tall, I naturally look thinner, even tho I'm really not. Hell even my personal trainer asked me once Um, are you eating after I told him I lost another 5 pounds.. and he knows how I hate to talk about my weight. So needless to say he got a medicine ball to the face.

Next time these people say stuff, just tell them in the nicest way possible that Thanks, but its none of their business what you do. If they don't like it, then they can go eat somewhere else.

Nachos88

WOW! U guys are great! :-) Thanks for the encouragement and its nice to know that I'm not the one with a problem. That it happens to other people as well. Thanks a mil guys!

My body is mine, and I want it to be as healthy as possible.
no one can understand but me, because it;s my body.

It feels darn good to be able to run up some stairs without feeling faintish, thats for sure.
I need to remember that whenever someone tries to put me down.


:-) Thanks everybody!

juscallmeb

Atta girl! Stay positive and strong. It's your life. Keep up the hard work.

MissAnjy

You're doing amazing in this journey & people just can't handle success when it isn't their own.
I was clearly overweight still when people were telling me "if you turn sideways, we'll lose you" or "you're fading away into nothing"
I'm 5'10 and weigh 158lbs. With my frame, I could stand to get down to 140-145. I'm NOT fading away.
I also receive comments all the time from my In-laws (when i refuse dessert, etc) "oh stop, just eat it, you can starve yourself again tomorrow" OR if i eat a meal and say that i'm full they say "well you only feel full because you're so used to starving yourself"

wtf.

I've never went hungry. I've never "starved myself" and I'm doing this with hardwork and dedication. People can't always handle that, especially if they don't have what it takes to do what you're doing. They think you can't POSSIBLY have MORE dedication then them (that would make them feel lazy) so they just throw out the starving yourself comments to make themselves feel better, because that MUST be what YOU'RE doing differently then them.

It's frustrating, but at the end of the day, do this for YOU!! You know your body, you know your goals and your aspirations. THAT matters, not what someone says who really isn't in your situation and who really shouldn't be in your business.

kmdehart

Misery loves company. . . . . Its a shame that your 'friends' cant be positive for you. Sometimes it takes life changes to weed out the not so good friends. Keep up the good work. Your results are amazing!!!!!!