Weight loss comments the good the bad and the ugly...

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  • Shanzstar
    Shanzstar Posts: 197
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    I've only lost 9 lbs but yesterday I had a friend of mine say to her husband,as she's pointing to me,"do you see how good she's lookin allready?" I probably blushed a little! But it made me feel good. :) I know Im fat and I'm the person that loves to hear how much people can tell a difference,but that's just me :)

    WTG! I know doesnt it feel good? I think hard work shouldnt go unnoticed. :)
  • Shanzstar
    Shanzstar Posts: 197
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    The one I hate the most is "You look amazing! You don't even look like the same person anymore!"

    Sometimes, I want to say in response "Thanks. Was I really that hideous before?" But I just tell myself that they're paying me a compliment, not trying to make me feel bad.

    I even had one woman (my brother's mother-in-law) who just couldn't get over my weight-loss, and she said to me a month or so ago "It's not just the weight you've lost ... it's that you're just so pretty now. Maybe now we can find you a man ..." And she's a really sweet lady, so I know she didn't mean anything negative by it, but that knocked me for a loop. People need to think about their words before they open their mouths.

    oh wow!! That would be hard. I guess when i was heavier i had more negative comments than I get now. I mean i got asked if i was preggo all the time!! Now they are so sweet and encouraging. :) I know i dont look like the same person or feel it. Congrats on you journey!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    For the most part, everyone I know has been really supportive, but sometimes it's clear that certain people just don't really think about what they're saying before they say it. It doesn't truly hurt my feelings anymore because of everything I've achieved and how comfortable I have become, not just with my body, but with who I am, but I'm still a little taken aback at how rude some people can be without realizing it.
  • Shanzstar
    Shanzstar Posts: 197
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    Thanks everyone for your input and i'm glad i'm not the only one who found this a little strange. You all made some valid points and i think saying nothing is probably better than something!! Also, i should have said that i did post a b4 and after pic on facebook and my husbands family didnt even hit the like button. not one of them. To be honest, it was a little strange to me.


    Btw, I was only venting my feelings when i posted this topic. In real life, I certainly wouldnt word it like that to someone. I wish everyone luck on your journey! Thanks again for all your input.
  • BethanyMasters
    BethanyMasters Posts: 519 Member
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    The 400 pound girl at work consistently asks me if that's all i'm going to eat for lunch. Mind you I have a piece of fruit, a yogurt, a sandwich or some wheat thins, and a 32 ounce bottle of water. And then proceeds to tell me that If I keep eating like that I'm going to be anorexic.
  • tmarie2715
    tmarie2715 Posts: 1,111 Member
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    From two different family members I've gotten the comment of "Oh, it's great you're losing so much weight (31lbs so far), but now if only you could lose that belly of yours!"

    Seriously?? Who says something like that?? Like I don't know that's my problem area.

    Don't you just love backhanded compliments that are actually more insults than a compliment.

    9 yrs ago I worked in a restaurant and lost a considerable amount of weight so I had a lot of customers complimenting me and commenting - Here are 2 of the WORST ones ---->

    Customer - "Oh wow, you look much better now!!!"
    Me - "What?!?! Did I look THAT bad before?"
    Customer - "Yes"
    (This made me feel real good about myself, I tell ya!! Like maybe I should have been living in a cave for the years prior to weightloss!!)

    This next comment came while I was 7 and a 1/2 months pregnant, and yes, I did gain a lot of weight while pregnant which is why I'm on this journey again but I thought this man was exceptionally rude. Keep in mind that throughout my weight loss he'd been ranting and raving about how well I was doing......
    So I approach his table of 6 PEOPLE and say "Hello!!" And this is what I get "Are you getting FAT again???" Right there, in front of a whole restaurant of my customers, friends, co-workers......I gasped and replied rather defensivly "Actually YES I AM b/c I'm almost 8 months pregnant!!" and he says, "Oh well I guess that's okay then...." LIKE it was any of his damn business anyways......sometimes circumstances happen other than pregnancy and people put the weight back on, and it's frustrating enough as it is without having someone call you out in this manner.

    Some people have no tact, some people are jealous, some people don't know how to react or what to say!!

    It ALWAYS shocks me to hear stories like this. I must be sheltered to think that rude people like this are a rarity... :( So sorry that this happened to you! Poor you-- you can't even tell him off like he deserves since you are in customer service.
  • bakebunny
    bakebunny Posts: 253
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    As the mother of two kids I'm familiar with the phenomenon of not recognizing the changes that happen right in front of your eyes until someone else mentions it. Suddenly you see the person anew, and BAM, you wonder why you didn't see it before.

    I get similar comments (or not) when I cut my hair, and I've asked people if they've noticed. The responses I get might be one of the reasons why your husband and family don't say anything:

    "I suddenly noticed and I didn't want to prove how little I'd noticed the changes."
    "I didn't want to embarrass both of us by calling attention to something everyone else must have seen for a while."
    "I don't know how long ago you'd (cut your hair), and I'm sure you are tired of hearing about it now."
    "I didn't even realize you had (cut your hair) until you said something since it hasn't been a drastic change."
    "I don't really care about your (hair cut). I do not pay attention to what people look like."

    If you really want to know why, you might feel the need to ask... but be prepared to hear the worst.
  • Shanzstar
    Shanzstar Posts: 197
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    As the mother of two kids I'm familiar with the phenomenon of not recognizing the changes that happen right in front of your eyes until someone else mentions it. Suddenly you see the person anew, and BAM, you wonder why you didn't see it before.

    I get similar comments (or not) when I cut my hair, and I've asked people if they've noticed. The responses I get might be one of the reasons why your husband and family don't say anything:

    "I suddenly noticed and I didn't want to prove how little I'd noticed the changes."
    "I didn't want to embarrass both of us by calling attention to something everyone else must have seen for a while."
    "I don't know how long ago you'd (cut your hair), and I'm sure you are tired of hearing about it now."
    "I didn't even realize you had (cut your hair) until you said something since it hasn't been a drastic change."
    "I don't really care about your (hair cut). I do not pay attention to what people look like."

    If you really want to know why, you might feel the need to ask... but be prepared to hear the worst.

    lol i think you are very correct!!
  • Shanzstar
    Shanzstar Posts: 197
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    The 400 pound girl at work consistently asks me if that's all i'm going to eat for lunch. Mind you I have a piece of fruit, a yogurt, a sandwich or some wheat thins, and a 32 ounce bottle of water. And then proceeds to tell me that If I keep eating like that I'm going to be anorexic.

    ugh!! actually thats a very healthy lunch! lol She is obviously very insecure about her own weight issues but i can see why that would be annoying.
  • deeharley
    deeharley Posts: 1,208 Member
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    Why would anyone ask "Why? Did I look that bad before?" Duh, yes, we did. That's why we're here.
  • Shanzstar
    Shanzstar Posts: 197
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    well geesh i know i looked bad b4! lol
  • hedleyrocks247
    hedleyrocks247 Posts: 185 Member
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    Why would anyone ask "Why? Did I look that bad before?" Duh, yes, we did. That's why we're here.

    Ummmm....b/c I try to be Happy with/love myself at whatever weight I've been at (not always easy but I try)
    I also don't think being FAT equals being ugly - it's not really fair to put that on every overweight person in the world!!
    Just my opinion though.
  • cartern1
    cartern1 Posts: 270 Member
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    I just hate comments full stop.

    I went out on Saturday night and got compliments off about 6 people - I hated every second of it.

    Someone even said, "I was watching you at the bar and there's something different about you.....I just can't place it.....did you used to have a moustache ?"
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    I actually have a paragraph typed up and saved about how its diet/exercise. Never fails, anytime I post before/afters or post something on facebook - my inbox fills up with "whats your secret!!" messages. It doesnt bother me.... I get it. I looked for a quick fix for so long myself. But this is really the only way!!

    The other thing is when people say "wow, youre looking so great now!!" and before I can say thank you - theyve tripped all over themselves to say something like "not that you looked bad before. but now, its better!" haha Well thanks - I didnt think you thought I looked bad before and of course this way is better! :laugh:

    This is just a sensitive topic and I dont think people really know the best way to approach it. But go all of us for continuing to do it despite the comments were getting or not getting!!
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
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    I get the same thing from my in-laws, only worse. I've already been called 'pregnant' twice behind my back. Funny thing is, they're all fatter than me. Go figure.
  • Mishy
    Mishy Posts: 1,551 Member
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    The Good
    When my SIL told me that I inspired her to join a gym and meet with a nutritionist. She's lost over 20 lbs so far.

    The Bad
    Something along the lines of "let me guess your weight. You look like you weigh ___ to me. Don't lose too much more or you won't look right." (WTFH? <-- thought by me)

    The Ugly
    You used to be so fat.
    You lost so much weight, now I feel like a big blob.

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