I finally got to do her...

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iAMaPhoenix
iAMaPhoenix Posts: 1,038 Member
Today at the gym, I decided to approach her. We never had anything in common. She liked it with my hands moving, I liked my hands to be still. She liked my feet going up and down, I like my feet going forward and backwards. I liked taking my time, she wanted to rush me. I liked watching TV while I was on her, she only had a jack for a radio. As you can see, we were never on the same page. In the past, I have not been able to last more than 5 minutes on her. I wanted to go longer, but she would not co-operate. Then today came. I looked her up and down, with her long sculpted arms. I saw how her long legs curved all in the right spots. Her rear end was nice and round, and you can tell she was shaped by the finest of craftsmen. Yes, I was intimidated by her beauty and her streamlined shape, but TODAY...I decided I would be like the champion bull rider and go the full 8 seconds. I decided that I wanted to see what my fellow MFPers felt when they finished with her. Yes, she is a very popular chick. In fact, KenLad knows her very well.
As I mounted her, I felt the power of her starting up as if she was a Formula 1 racecar. She seemed to whisper to me to start off slow, and then build the momentum up so she can go the distance. As our feet intertwined, it felt as if the Daytona 500 green flag had just been dropped. Slowly the adrenaline rush I had yearned for all these months began to engulf my entire body. The ground began shaking as if the space shuttle was blasting off into the heavens. Slow at first, then building up a crescendo. As I passed the 5 minute mark, I knew that I was now going where I have never gone before. I know lots have been there with her, but I did not have a problem with that. It was my time now, and nothing would take my joy from me…TODAY.
As I got to the 10 minute mark, I felt that we were one. I had doubled my previous record, and she was still going strong. In fact, she shuddered with each up and down movement I made… I think. As I approached the 15 minute mark, she began to slow down. I was wondering what I had done. I knew I was as gentle as can be with her. Maybe I had held her too tight. Did I step on her feet too hard? Did I accidently kick her bottom and not realized it in my euphoria? What was it, I wondered silently? Then I realized what it was. As you approach the end of the time you put in the elliptical machine, it gives you a 2 minute cooldown….What were you guys thinking about? Y'all sooooo Nas-Tee!!!

Replies

  • Wolfena
    Wolfena Posts: 1,570 Member
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    I must not have a dirty mind.... I immediately thought you were talking about an elliptical, maybe if I'd read this anywhere other than a fitness site I'd have thought differently!

    :laugh:
  • CeleryStalker
    CeleryStalker Posts: 665 Member
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    this gets my vote for the best post on MFP evar! LOL
  • achampionsheart
    achampionsheart Posts: 1,020 Member
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    LOVE IT!!!!
  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
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    whew...thought it was about me for a minute! :tongue:
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
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    :laugh:
  • Mveler
    Mveler Posts: 274 Member
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    Thanks for the entertainment. A smile is Always nice.

    On another note, you have superb writing skills.
  • pittsblue99
    pittsblue99 Posts: 277 Member
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    I love it! :laugh:
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
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    Sorry, I knew from the third sentence that it was an elliptical. Not too bad, though.
  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
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    Just...AWESOME!!!!!!! :)
  • brenda_71
    brenda_71 Posts: 151
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    LOL!! I ride the elliptical every day!! Never looked at it quite like that or as a her i should say! LOL!!
  • Toots2012
    Toots2012 Posts: 25
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    LOVE IT!! If your not currently a writter then you sure need to be. That was too awesome!!!
  • blackrose80
    blackrose80 Posts: 134
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    Luckily I guessed what you were on about but still...your mind must be a scary place! LOL very good! :D
  • DaChozn
    DaChozn Posts: 134 Member
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    I knew you were talking about a machine but you still had me hooked on the prose. Love it. Like your profile pic too, makes me sad that I haven't seen the new Cars 2 movie. Yeh I'm a grown *kitten* woman but I love me some Pixar.
  • sbrown6
    sbrown6 Posts: 334 Member
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    Are you a writer? You are a helluva story teller. Thanks for amking me laugh and congrats on saddling up and riding that beast!!! I bet she can't wait for your return.
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
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    Creative. I certainly didn't figure out eliptical from the get go. I was wondering bike, horse, threadmill. Good one.
  • sasseena
    sasseena Posts: 5
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    Nice! I thought it was funny!
  • Strive2BLean
    Strive2BLean Posts: 300 Member
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    Very clever! I enjoyed reading it but knew it wasn't what you wanted me to think it was. You have a way with words. Thanks for sharing.