Does my family want me to fail????

girlygirl761

My mom is staying with me for 7 weeks. Before she came, I explained that I was trying to make healthier eating choices & I don't want to eat at restaurants often. She agreed. Now that she is here, she has made plans for us to meet family & friends at different restaurants on at least 10 occasions. I'm so frustrated because I'm not good at making healthy choices in restaurants. Does anyone else have family members that sabotage them? Should I just quit MFP and start again when she leaves?

ShannonC779

No don't quit. See if you can find the menu's online and plan your meals that way.

bjohs

No, log everything, even the really bad days. Maybe the next time your mom makes reservations somewhere, you politely decline to go with her (even if it is to meet family). When she asks why, calmly explain to her again that it is damaging to your weight loss goals. Maybe she'll get the hint. Otherwise, most restaurant chains have their nutrition facts on their website. If not, at least their menus. Try to pre-plan and find something healthy before you go. Good luck! Hang in there.

calimari

10 restaurants in 7 weeks is not more than once a week. I usually go out once a week - and while I might not be "perfect" on my diary, I am definately making better choices than I used to. Go out - make better choices. You have to learn how not to sabotage yourself!

NancyAnne1960

Hang in there!!! When confronted with the family at a restaurant (thank goodness for internet) I always check out the restaurant menu before we go to dinner and decide what would be the best choice. That's one place MFP has been really handy. I can input info, and adjust until I get the right combination that keeps me on track. Learning so much, and so far, so good. I don't even pick up the menu when I get there, so as not to tempt me. Good luck and have fun with your family!

MarieNevada

absolutely do not quit. almost every restaurant has healthy choices. do not be afraid to ask for something off the menu. every restaurant can prepare you a simple grilled chicken breast. have any dressing on the side, steer clear of starchy sides such as potatoes and white rice. opt for simple grilled fish. don't let your family sabotage you. they're usually teh last to clue in that you're serious.

paulasuscas01

I don't know if it is sabotage but I know sometimes my mom makes food that isn't exactly the healthiest and of course I am tempted. It can be difficult. The only advice I can give you is: DON'T GIVE UP!!! You can do this! If the restaurant has a website, try looking at the menu beforehand so you have an idea of what would be the better option to order. Good luck!

uniqute1888

My boyfriend derails me a lot "stay n cuddle with me" "I love your chicken parm" blah blah blah... He travels a lot and when he's away i stay on my healthy habits ... I feel your pain- but dont quit! One choice at a time one day at a time!

ritaadkins2002

u might want to ask food to be prepared a certain way without all the calories. or u could make a suggestion to your mom that u would like to pick the restuarant that is healthy in choice. Don't be afraid to tell the waiter how u want your food cooked. they can do this. hope this helps

That_Girl

Look up the restaurants before you go and see their menu and plan it out.

Don't quit! Eating out is part of life and it can be done healthy.

My mom doesn't try to sabotage me but she thinks I'm doing everything wrong. lol. Oh well.

Good luck!

ESVABelle

No. This is the part where you put your big girl panties on. Not good at restaurants? Start planning now. Going to Outback, check MFP food diary...scope out what you could/should have.

Increase your physical activity if you know you just can't pass up those damn blooming onions (with the yummy dipping sauce too). Suggest taking a walk once you get home to help burn off a bit of dinner.

When you order your food, ask them to box up half. They'll do it. That way, if you clean your plate, you've only technically cleaned half of it.

Be smart. Be strong. And for God's sake, don't give up!!! We got your back, girl!

UsedToBeHusky

I totally agree with Shannon. Get the book "Eat This, Not That". It will totally help you make smart choices when eating out. I don't think your mom is intentionally sabotaging you. Maybe it would help to introduce her to the site. I know I'm making a big assumption about your mom needing to lose weight, but the site is really good about allowing you to monitor other nutritional needs.

themyriadthings

Can you politely remind her of what she agreed to and then suggest alternatives? Perhaps you could meet family and friends at non-food venues like a park or the museum? Even if you were to go to coffee/tea shops instead of restaurants then you could just have a light beverage while others do their snacking... All the best with your choices!

1horsetown

I ask for a take home box when I get my meal and put half of my food in it before I pick up my fork.

And...yes...sometimes they do want you to fail.

Scorpioangel

No do not quit MFP. I agree with the others on here - just log everything good or bad and make the healthiest choices that you can! Good luck and enjoy your time with your mom

uniqute1888

Oh and as much as I love the restaurant i work for - Avoid PF Changs unless you eat the dish steamed and sauce on side. Or the Budhas Feast (steamed veggies n protein) lol.. Good luck!

ashshort

Go to www.dwlz.com and click on restaurants. Has most every restaurant you can think of including calorie content so you can make better food choices. Hang in there! My mom is the same way when she is not on a diet with me. It makes things difficult. Stick to your guns though and you will be rewarded!

elliecolorado

No, don't quit! If you have to go out and eat just plan ahead look up the nutrition info online if you can and decide what you are going to have before you go. And you can get a salad just about everywhere just have no dressing or dressing on the side and little or no cheese if they put cheese on it. Or things like grilled chicken with a salad or veggies are available a lot of places. And you can always ask for a to go box with the meal and put half in the to go box before you even start eating. You can go out and still make healthy choices

amber_bamber

Stick to it!!! There are some great suggetions already. I log everything that I can, even when going out to eat.

juliapurpletoes

No absolutely do not quit! Your mom is just doing what they do when they visit, I do not think it would be personal (although I don't know your mom!) I just don't think she must like to cook and entertain "in". I have one like that too!

So, what you need are tricks for when you go out...right?

Put your thinking cap on girl cause you are not without brains!! Eat well before hand.....then ...order a glass of wine, salad and eat 1/2 the entree pushing the rest around on your plate...look at all choices and pick the best..........say oops i forgot and ate alot beforehand.......

got a million of them...don't stress. Moms are weird (i'm one!)

You can do this :smokin:

TonjaWL

Don't quit.. Talk to your mom. I'm sure she loves you and wants the best for you, just explain to her that it's hard for you to make good choices at restaurants and that you don't want to continue to put yourself in that position. I'm sure that if you tell her that the plans she's made make you feel like she's not respecting your efforts she will understand and stop. Food is such a part of our lives that she probably doesn't even realize what she is doing. Try offering other suggestions of ways to get together so that both your needs and her needs are met.

cieraangel

I often ask myself that same question because I have family members very similar to yours. You tell them you want to eat healthier, and they're trying to shove pie, cake, potatoes, and all the things you love in your face. I am coming to grips with that I have a food addiction. I tell my family that "just a little bite" turns into me eating way more than I should, and yet, this does not stop them from offering. You may have to pull the "If you love me, you wouldn't.." card, but if you don't have the strength to do that or it doesn't help, you need to just plan ahead as to what you are going to eat when you go to these places. So many restaurants have their menus online now. When the bread comes out...look the other way. Texting has been a distraction for me, or just drinking water while the bread or desert is out and everyone is eating. You could also post here. Good luck!

cieraangel

I often ask myself that same question because I have family members very similar to yours. You tell them you want to eat healthier, and they're trying to shove pie, cake, potatoes, and all the things you love in your face. I am coming to grips with that I have a food addiction. I tell my family that "just a little bite" turns into me eating way more than I should, and yet, this does not stop them from offering. You may have to pull the "If you love me, you wouldn't.." card, but if you don't have the strength to do that or it doesn't help, you need to just plan ahead as to what you are going to eat when you go to these places. So many restaurants have their menus online now. When the bread comes out...look the other way. Texting has been a distraction for me, or just drinking water while the bread or desert is out and everyone is eating. You could also post here. Good luck!

Samerah12

Look up the restaurants before you go and see their menu and plan it out.

This really saved me when my dad came to visit.

The only MFP cliche more annoying to me than "my journey" is "its a life-style change" but it really is true. If you want to keep the weight off once its gone you will need to keep your good habits or you'll be right back where you started again. Your mom will probably be visiting again someday or there will be other circumstances where you're going to eat out and here is your opportunity to start learning how to make it work for you!

Perfectlycrooked

Oh my gosh! My parents want so bad for me to slip up and just eat horribly again with them! I refuse! Don't give up! If anything sit her down and explain to her that it hurts that you're trying to make a healthy choice and she keeps making plans to go to unhealthy places.

skylaralyks

No don't quit. See if you can find the menu's online and plan your meals that way.

So True! Planning is THE BEST way. Trust me...I eat out at least 3 x a week? (not by choice -___-) planning before hand has helped me SO MUCH!

summerlee97

I used to ask myself that many times. My husband is naturally skinny and loves all the things that make me gain weight. I love the MFP app on my phone. When we do go out to eat, I always ask for a nutrutional menu. It is great because not only do I see the calories involved, my hubby also looks at the information. Many times he even changes his menu choices once he realizes the meal he wants had 1300 calories alone. Even people who do not struggle with their weight sometimes need to be aware of what they are eating. Just because a person is skinny does not mean that they are healthy. They can have high cholesterol and blood pressure and not be aware of it.

BranMuffin21

a lot of times places can give a grill chicken and ask for a salad if they don't already have. And if you must have a starch go with a baked potato(No tops) and only eat half! Try to ask to not go to chinese places for dinner and its very difficult to make healthish choices.

spgabby86

Look up the restaurants before you go and see their menu and plan it out.

This really saved me when my dad came to visit.

The only MFP cliche more annoying to me than "my journey" is "its a life-style change" but it really is true. If you want to keep the weight off once its gone you will need to keep your good habits or you'll be right back where you started again. Your mom will probably be visiting again someday or there will be other circumstances where you're going to eat out and here is your opportunity to start learning how to make it work for you!

I so agree with this and ALL the post - this is a life style change so we have to be able to manage ourselves when we eat out...eating out once a week is not really bad if you plan you meal or box half and ask to have the fat removed before cooking (butter, special sauce etc etc etc)

We ALL know that eating out is what we ALL do from time to time, so enjoy yourself, increase your exercise and drink LOTS of WATER before your meal arrives - try eating a salad or some thing at home before leaving for the restaurant.

Remember your MFP Fam is here for your support - download the app to your phone that way you can better see what your are consuming!

Again ENJOY yourself and you can do that without OVER EATING!

Good luck.

Skinny_Mocha

When I'm going to a restaurant, I fill up on healthy stuff beforehand. Then, I order better and eat less. And bonus, I take half of it home to have the next day.

Hang in there!!

qtpiesmom

I dont think you mom is trying to hurt your or do anything against you eating better. When someone says that to another person they may not think about it the same way you do. Unless you have explained how your making the choices you are they only go by what they think better choices are. Some people dont think eating mcdonalds is a bad choice for food some do. Try and keep positive your mom is trying to have a good time while she is visiting you dont let your new way of life effect that in a negative way.
I have said this before and will say it now FOOD IS NOT THE ENEMY! Eating out isnt something that is a horrible thing to do. How we view food, what we eat on a regular basis, and how much we eat is what has gotten us here in the first place.
It not like in life you are never going to go out to eat again, have junk food again or something sweet again. You can say you dont make good choices at a restaurant but that is a cop out, there is no time like the present to learn how to choose and MAKE better choices. Like many others have said PLAN PLAN PLAN. Look for the best choices you can. If you cant find out do a longer harder workout to adjust for extra calories. Drink water instead of pop or booze. Split the meal in half right away. Eat salad without dressing or dressing on the side. NO cheese will help cut back on cals. Eat lighter breakfast and lunch to balance the say. Chooce chicken and fish, try and cut carbs where you can ask for steamed veggies as a side.

YOU CAN LEARN< YOU CAN MAKE THE BEST CHOICES and when you cant its ok tomorrow is a new day one meal isnt going to ruin everything you worked for ENJOY YOUR VISIT WITH YOUR MOM THATS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!!