Falling back to the bottom.

daniellek1130

This is going to be kind of long, so I apologize. I've been on and off of MFP for a while now, but I've honestly just been way too busy to keep up with it (first problem.) Anyways. Let me explain my story.

I've never been the skinniest person ever, unless you count in like .. 5th grade when I was a 00, before I actually got hips and became a woman. My biggest problem has been my belly. I can't count the amount of times people have asked if I'm pregnant, which is just .. the most humiliating thing ever. Well, I was starting to lose weight my second year of college, and I thought I was doing good. I was down to 155 (but for some reason, that wasn't good enough for me, and I WISH I was there now.), and my stomach had gone down .. a lot. I was feeling confident. I was with my boyfriend for three years, everything was great, etc. Classic story.

Well, almost a year ago, on July 3rd, I found my sister dead in her bedroom when I was going to wake her up. Frankly, the stress of it all was too much to handle, and I think I mentally blocked out most of what happened after that. Then, in the next three months, my cousin, my Aunt, and my Uncle all passed away. I was a wreck.. I was depressed, living with my boyfriend and his two friends, and I was just .. not at my highest point. Needless to say, the boyfriend and I had been growing apart, and my depression was too much, so he dumped me, and my 'best friend' decided to go 'comfort' him.

Well, since then .. I had gained .. oh, about thirty pounds, setting me at 182ish. So, a little less than thirty, but still. I moved back to my hometown in Florida. I reconnected with people, spent time with family, became a godmother, and right now i'm down to 167. So, i'm starting to get confident, and then tonight, I get a phone call telling me that my ex-boyfriend and my ex best friend, are engaged, after about .. oh, seven months.

I'm a wreck, and I'm just afraid i'm going to get myself gain some of the way back, so any motivational support or pep-talk is appreciated. Not sure how to deal with the stress, and keep losing weight at the same time.

Help?

mxmandani

Sometimes it good to just let it all out. I know I can't really do much, but if you ever need someone to talk I'm here. Feel free to add me

chevy88grl

You've moved on with your life. You're working to make YOU happy now. Don't let their choices affect how far you've come in this journey. Sounds to me like you're better off without either one of them. When I'm realllly stressed and want to eat - I go to the gym and run on the treadmill. Helps to relieve stress AND I avoid emotional eating.

cheshirechic

Oh my. I'm so sorry to hear about the losses. I can't even imagine what that's like.

You wrote about not knowing how to deal with the stress, but exercise can be a great stress relief, if you find something that you like. You've already lost some already and seem to have a lot of support (you were chosen to be someone's godmother! That's no small task--someone else completely believes in you, too). Focus on the positive relationships in your life, and staying a positive influence in their lives.

You're amazing for wanting to go to med school, and it will definitely be a challenge. You're already making a great lifestyle change that will lead (your future patients, your godchild) by example.

So finally, regarding the shock of your ex and your (ex?) friend, it does suck. BUT...it shows you the kind of people that they are, and you don't have to have those kinds of people in your life anymore. Get up tomorrow and have an amazing, delicious, healthy breakfast to start out a new day. When I'm stressed like this, it helps me to plan my eating/exercising schedule for the next couple of days so I know that I have something to rely on. I've had my own share of stress (working full time while getting a Master's in two years from a pretty tough school) but I relied on what I COULD control--my reactions, actions, and emotions.

I hope this helps, and you'll get back on track. I wish you the best.

barbiex3

people are so dumb about that whole pregnant thing. I lived with my boyfriend and his FIVE male roommates last semester, and they called me pregnant ALL the time. It was so mean... I was only 144 pounds (and i'm 5'7"). They even called me fat and stuff. It was just really mean. Guys can be A**holes!!!
I've been in long term relationships before, and I know it's not easy to get over it, but maybe it's for the best. Maybe a way better guy who would never even think about getting "comforted" by your best friend is out there waiting to find a girl like you =] !

Anyways, I think i've read your profile, and I am so so so so sorry for the loss of your sister and other family members. It must be a terrible thing to go through, and it is really something I could not imagine having to handle, so I am so amazed that you are even losing weight! If that happened to me I would seriously be crying all day in bed and unable to even handle the situation.

You are really doing an amazing thing here by asking for help and motivation. I can tell you are a very strong person, and you know what you need to do!

If you have the power to live through all the things you have been through, then losing this weight will just be a small pebble in the road. It seems very difficult to lose the weight now because of all the other things on your plate, but you will be glad you did.

Maybe make your settings for losing 1/2 pound a week or something.
I really admire you for being on this site to be healthier
=]

kcthatsme

Take one day at a time. One meal at a time. One exercise session at a time. You can do this!! You've been doing it!

ruststar

Somebody I absolutely hated gave me the best advice I ever heard when I was going through a time like you are right now. She said "The best revenge is living well," and for some reason, despite how much I didn't want to listen to her, she had a point. There is nothing you can do to make the people who are hurting you feel as badly as you do, but you have absolute control over letting it roll off you. Throw yourself into your fitness goals rather than allow this to derail you.

kmaclpn

Wow your story minus the crazy amount of unexpected traumatic events is a lot alike..weight wise, college boyfriend of 3 years weight creeping up slowly.. Its not easy for me to give you advice from MFP but let me tell you I'm a Practical Nurse and I tell my patients all the time that are going through stuff like this that they need to find something positive in there lives and focus on it. Life does and always will get better. no matter how hard it seems like it can get. let your positive goal be a healthy new lifestyle with a healthy new weight.. focus on looking and feeling better about yourself and that alone will help you with the grieving process. its insane you went through so much so quickly!!! I hope everything gets better and things look up. keep your chin up:)

Hollycat

Well...that sucks. Rather than giving them the satisfaction of seeing you fall apart, it just might be time for some Danielle time. A massage, pedicure, sauna, whirlpool, visit your local pool and hang out in the steam room...whatever it takes to pamper yourself. Get some lengths in too. Treat yourself to a drop-in ticket to the gym. Pedal away the resentment you're entitled to feel. Once you've wallowed for a while, get on with your life again. Take some time, but make sure you plan to get back to it. You're the only one you have to live with for the rest of your life. Be your own friend. You deserve it.

Hollycat
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