bye bye, anorexia.

alexoftroy

It's been a long road.

For brevity's sake, here's the rundown:

I've dabbled in every sport under the sun, beginning with dance at three years old, and discovered my love for health and fitness when I turned twelve. At sixteen, I slipped into a very bad case of anorexia.

I'm about a half inch shy of 5'6" - at my breaking point, I weighed around 90-95 lbs. My natural weight gravitates between 125-135 lbs, but during recovery, the scale soared to around 160-170. Since then, I've healthily lost all of the excess weight and maintained a consistent scale reading that hovers in the mid-130s.

I would throw myself a party if I ever saw the high 120s again. That's been my goal for a while, but I don't quite know how to get there anymore. At this point, I understand health and fitness like the back of my hand, but this inability to lose less than 10 lbs leaves me at a loss. I'm convinced that my metabolism and body chemistry were ruined during my year of starvation.

Currently, I'm a size 4 but can fit into 2s and 6s depending on how the clothes run, so I'm not terribly unhappy with my appearance. I simply want to win this battle once and for all - the right way. I want to feel good not only physically, but in my heart as well. It's tough.

aippolito1

If you're not unhappy with your appearance, maybe you should focus more on just maintaining a healthy weight - which at 5'6", 130 sounds just fine! I'm 5'4" and am aiming for 140... I think a good test of your willpower would be just to continue to be healthy and try to maintain.

harderfasterstr0nger

As a EDNOS girl, I know what you mean.
It is hard not only mentally but physically difficult for your body to learn to burn again.
I vote eat as much as you feel comfortable and workout a healthy (not excessive) amount
You are two steps ahead of me, and I wish you all the best

LauraLLee

Being healthy and having a healthy mind set is much more important then those 10lbs... Congratulations on your victory. That is a great success in my book!

NightOwl1

It's been a long road.

For brevity's sake, here's the rundown:

I've dabbled in every sport under the sun, beginning with dance at three years old, and discovered my love for health and fitness when I turned twelve. At sixteen, I slipped into a very bad case of anorexia.

I'm about a half inch shy of 5'6" - at my breaking point, I weighed around 90-95 lbs. My natural weight gravitates between 125-135 lbs, but during recovery, the scale soared to around 160-170. Since then, I've healthily lost all of the excess weight and maintained a consistent scale reading that hovers in the mid-130s.

I would throw myself a party if I ever saw the high 120s again. That's been my goal for a while, but I don't quite know how to get there anymore. At this point, I understand health and fitness like the back of my hand, but this inability to lose less than 10 lbs leaves me at a loss. I'm convinced that my metabolism and body chemistry were ruined during my year of starvation.

Currently, I'm a size 4 but can fit into 2s and 6s depending on how the clothes run, so I'm not terribly unhappy with my appearance. I simply want to win this battle once and for all - the right way.

I would focus less on the number on the scale (that may be a remnant from your unhealthy days) and focus on maintaining a healthy weight and toning up and improving overall health and fitness. A lot of people would kill for a size 4, so if you are trying to go lower than that, be very cautious not to fall back into old habits.

NikkisNewStart

If you are not unhappy with your appearance... then why are you so hell bent on reaching this magical number on the scale? What do you think you will have accomplished by seeing this number?

I kept losing and losing and was having a hard time going into maintenance. I had to ask myself what it was that I truly wanted... was it a number on a scale or a certain look... it was a look, to be toned and muscular, so I turned off the weight loss and got busy on my new goal.

What do you think will be solved in your life by reaching this weight? Do you honestly think you'll be able to "turn it off" and not slip into an unhealthy way of life again? I'm only asking out of concern and wish you all the best.

natskedat

If you are concerned about your weight, visit a personal trainer and inquire about your body fat percentage. Have a calculation done to determine what percentage your body composition would be if you lost 10 lbs. of fat. Would you be healthy or underfat? If you'd be healthy, then devise a safe and healthy plan to burn off those ten pounds. If you'd be underfat, ask yourself what you'd gain by maintaining a relatively unhealthy body fat level. It might change your perspective about what your body is capable of becoming.

I am exactly as tall as you, and weigh exactly the same as you. My body is exactly as it should be.

alexoftroy

Thank you so much for all of the responses! I appreciate everyone's advice and concern very much.

After an eating disorder, it's much harder to recover mentally than it is physically (at least that's been my experience). I don't think I'm in any danger of a physical relapse, but you are all very right - I still occasionally slip into an unhealthy way of thinking.

It's not always logical; I know the scale shouldn't mean anything, but after going through something that was as psychologically awful as it was physically damaging, it sometimes means much more than it should - especially when I don't always have a clear view of what I look like in reality, as opposed to the image of myself that exists in my head.

I will definitely take y'all's words to heart and try to focus more on how I feel and think, rather than what the scale says. It's so much easier said than done, but that's why I'm here - for support and encouragement. Thanks so much again!

barbiex3

If you are not unhappy with your appearance... then why are you so hell bent on reaching this magical number on the scale? What do you think you will have accomplished by seeing this number?

I kept losing and losing and was having a hard time going into maintenance. I had to ask myself what it was that I truly wanted... was it a number on a scale or a certain look... it was a look, to be toned and muscular, so I turned off the weight loss and got busy on my new goal.

What do you think will be solved in your life by reaching this weight? Do you honestly think you'll be able to "turn it off" and not slip into an unhealthy way of life again? I'm only asking out of concern and wish you all the best.

omg i love this. COMPLETELY AGREE.