HELP!

Jlongblade

I need help keeping my Wife motivated. It seems like every day is getting harder to keep her going. She has done AMAZING losing 9 pounds in 27 days, but is getting discouraged by not seeing any results. I lost it tonight (6/27) and told her fine if you do not want to work out any more than whatever. After we argued for a little while, and went into separate rooms to calm down we wound up working out and getting it done, but I do not like fighting with my wife and do not want to do that again. I want her to be successful with the weight loss because it will make her happy and increase her self-esteem. I think one thing that is bugging her is I am large and started at 381. I have lost 24lbs so far, I lose the 1st 20- 30 lbs fast and then it slows way down but she looks at those numbers and I think she get frustrated. Any help or Ideas would be great. Thank you for your help MFP....

Pebble321

If it was me I would want you to stop trying to "motivate me" and get on with what you need to do! But then, I'm contrary like that.
Just be there and support here, but you can't make her motivated if she doesn't want to be.
Perhaps back off, tell her you are working out now, ask if she wants to join you but let her make her own decision. Don't tell her what to eat and what not to eat, but only offer her healthy stuff.
Is she a MFP member, she might like to buddy up with some people who are losing weight at a rate that is more suited to her, rather than you. 9 pounds in 27 days is FAST weight loss and not many people will keep losing at this rate.

TinaS88

Tell her don't quit on herself!!! Maybe she just needs to switch up her routine and spice it up.. tell her to try some dance workouts.. they are really fun (some even a little silly) and they really get your heart rate and and get you sweating! I do something different every couple days just so I don't get bored.

Just be there to love and support her (let HER know that) and DO push her!! Tell her you WANT to see her make healthy and smart choices and live better! Let her know she can't quit on herself because you won't quit on her!

Also, men loose weight a lot faster then women, does she know this? It's a proven fact! 9 lbs. in 27 days is AMAZING to me and that makes me a little jealous of her!! At like 19 days I only had 3 lbs. down... she has ME a littler discouraged. LoL LoL

Is she a member of MFP? I would love to be friends with her.. We could motivate each other!!

ashleymariec89

Are you telling her that she is doing a good job? Don't ever ever ever have a negative attitude towards her like that. It is VERY hard change your habits, maybe you don't understand this because its easy for you, but it is clearly not for her. Encourage her when she is down like that, she needs someone to bring her back up and get her going again. What you did was just make it easier for her to quit. When she works out tell her how proud of her you are, and that shes doing a good job, and to keep up the good work. When she is down like this, you need to be there for her. Ask why she doesn't want to work out, ask her what she is struggling with, and try and help her with those things.

ElisaRazz

I’d say don’t push her too much, maybe suggest a going on a long hike or a bike ride together?
Make a day of it and have a picnic or a coffee along the way.

I get in a slum after a few weeks and I always feel like giving up, but then i feel worse about myself and not as happy when I look in the mirror.

Always be positive and try not to fight!!

Good luck

Artemis_Acorn

When my DH and I have been on the same program together, he ALWAYS loses faster than me. I'm told it's pretty common, but it can be discouraging. This time around, we are on different programs and I'm not telling him my numbers and he's not telling me his - but we have some 'deals' about certain milestones in our achievement that benefit us both when either one reaches a goal.

When I got frustrated with it, my DH meant well, and tried to SOLVE the problem. Trust me, his 'suggestions' were not well received. What I needed from him was acceptance, reassurance and a listening ear that would let me vent my discouragement without him trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. The fact is, I wasn't doing anything wrong, and I was actually doing very well - just not as well as he was.

Based on my personal experience, my advice would be that you tell her how proud you are of how well she's doing, (in as many ways as you can think of to say it.) Tell her how glad you are that you're going to get healthy together, tell her how much you love her - and then tell her all the things about her that you love that aren't related to her weight, although she might just need to hear you say that she is beautiful to you. Then, tell her you don't want her to give up, because you want her to be happy. Don't mention your own success - make it all about her this time, because she is the one who is discouraged. DON'T give her a 'pep talk' though, and don't offer to take her out for ice cream.

Good luck in your endeavors. If your wife has a MFP account, I will gladly be her friend if she is looking for encouragement an support from other women. - AA

Whatnow50

You can compliment her but you can't motivate her... it has to be her decision... and I know from experience some days are just impossible... know that and be understanding to her. There is always tomorrow.... not worth a fight between you.
Just do your thing and she will do hers when it's right for her.

Best wishes to you both!

If she's not on MFP let her know that I just started and love it and have found so many supportive people already. I would love to be her buddy.