mixed children

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  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
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    what are they mixed with? I prefer my children with ice cream.
  • BecksgotBack
    BecksgotBack Posts: 385 Member
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    Totally disagree with the statement that kids will never ask questions...
    my daughter was fine until she went to school. then the questions started. she's what she calls "a little bit brown" and looks NOTHING like me. Other kids ask me too...
    we don't make a big deal out of it. she had her identity crisis for a few months and then it passed. just like all things.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    I will tell you a secret. Kids will usually differ in appearance from their parents and sometimes, each other. Unless their parents are related.

    Unless you or other family members make a big deal of it, neither will they. A young woman working at a water park this summer thought my kids were lost. (They weren't, I was about 8 feet away watching this entire exchange.) She was asking them, "Is your mommy White? Is she Black?". They told her I was blue. That is what color my cover-up was that day.

    See, they didn't even get her question. It didn't even occur to them that she might be talking about skin color. I teach them that we are ALL brown, in different shades. I show them how this is true. That way, when someone comes along one day to teach them the untruth they will be prepared.

    Might I add, I will attack ANYONE that compliments my lighter-brown son and does not say anything about my browner son.
  • pain_is_weakness
    pain_is_weakness Posts: 798 Member
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    I have many different races in my family. It is so normal in our family that is didn't ever seem weird. We basically figured it out on our own. My kids are super white because of their daddy, lol, but when they see their grandpa (my dad is super dark!!!!) they just scream papa!!! Kid's at school at the biggest problem. Whne my dad use to pick me up from school kids would ask if I was adopted, if he was my real dad, ect. It bothered me after a while, but now I am very proud to be mixed! I have the best facial bone structure ever, most people kill for my cheekbones!!! And my lips, well they are to die for as well!
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    Totally disagree with the statement that kids will never ask questions...
    my daughter was fine until she went to school. then the questions started. she's what she calls "a little bit brown" and looks NOTHING like me. Other kids ask me too...
    we don't make a big deal out of it. she had her identity crisis for a few months and then it passed. just like all things.

    I think this is very true. I always said that I would never lie to my kids, and I try to be as honest as I can with them being so young.
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
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    My husband is from Mexico, so have I have a couple chicanas at the house. They have great skin and tan in the summer. They are 12 & 10 now. They never asked why they were different. I don't think they ever thought of themselves as different until a kid in my youngest daughter's class made a slur about her being Mexican American. They actually think it's pretty cool that their Dad speaks two languages and had to take a test to be a citizen.
  • lizmaebar
    lizmaebar Posts: 97
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    people may make your children question themselves, but being a biracial person myself, i never once thought about my parents races like that. Hopefully things are much better nowadays...bit there will probably always be some situations that may make your children feel outcast or different. But you need to make sure they know they are beautiful, and unique, and also human like everyone else. Their confidence will be a great tool for them to battle any self doubt. i hope I made sense lol
  • LilacLizabeth
    LilacLizabeth Posts: 36 Member
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    i have a mixed child. They will love you for who you are, not your skin.
  • DdoubleU77
    DdoubleU77 Posts: 65
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    It's really not that complicated. I have a couple of bi-racial daughters and my son...who is not bi-racial. He looks less like his white parent than his sisters do (and that has nothing to do with skin colour either) lol

    I also disagree that children don't ask questions. To children...EVERYTHING is trivial. They think they know everything and what they don't know...they think they will learn their first day of kindergarten lol.

    2 weeks ago I went to pick up my daughter at Scouts and my daughter comes flying out of the room and hugs me. Another little girl runs out behind her and says, "WOW, you don't look anything like your mom!" :indifferent: RIGHT OUT LOUD in front of all the other parents. My daughter and I looked at each other and shrugged.

    Another time, my other daughter said that she wants to be my colour and have long flowing blond hair like my sisters. I said "why the heck would you want hair that can wrap around your face/neck at night and strangle you?" She laughed...I laughed...we moved on.

    Should I throw in that between my husband and I, we have 6 children in total PLUS we are raising our nephew and niece? It's like a gong show in my house :drinker:
  • Bonita_Lynne_58
    Bonita_Lynne_58 Posts: 2,845 Member
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    You obviously love your children! That is the most important thing. I have several grandchildren. Some are bi-racial some are white. They are all unique, individual and beautiful. My daughters (the ones with the bi-racial kids) and son-in-laws have done a great job letting these kids know that they are loved. My other grandchildren's parents have done the same.

    They may or may not question the differences. If they do just answer honestly! And let them see that both of their parents love and respect each other. All children are gifts and are to be cherished!
  • Schwiggs
    Schwiggs Posts: 222 Member
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    Best part is when they grow up into fine *kitten* mixed women. mmph.

    NOTE: I said after they grow up. I'm not a pedobear.
  • CrzyAte
    CrzyAte Posts: 55
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    Your children will never ask that question. I have a son that is biracial and he has never questioned why his parents are of different races. Race does not matter to children. Race is an idea that parents and other adults put in the minds of children.

    My children are white and African American. I was room mom when my twins were in kindergarden. One of their friends asked why my kids were brown if I was white. I explained that their dad was black so when you mixed the colors together you get their pretty carmel color. The best advice I can give you is teach them to be proud of who they are. I was raised with a cousin who was African American and white and his family always told him he was indian and made jokes about his skin tone. The day he found out the truth from another older mixed child was devastating to him.
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
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    As someone who plans to adopt, and possibly have children that look far different from their pale, brown-haired Mama, these responses make me happy to read.
  • branflake5
    branflake5 Posts: 332
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    i have 3 children my older 2 are bi-racial mixed with white and black, and my youngest is white... when my youngest son was around 5 there was a rap song video that came on tv called white girl, my son said "mommy how come all these black guys keep talking about a white girl, so i said " well ur papaw is black and ur grandma is white" he said " WHAT!?!? i thought we were all tan!!!" he was completely shocked lol

    none of my kids have ever asked why they are the color that they are, my entire family is full of many different races and all the kids have turned out to be confident and no identity issues what so ever :wink:
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
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    I don't have advice but I just wanted to say that no matter what race/nationality/culture you identify with, I think it is all beautiful! I think a diverse group of people is beautiful! Simply beautiful. :)
  • Crystal817
    Crystal817 Posts: 2,021 Member
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    As someone who plans to adopt, and possibly have children that look far different from their pale, brown-haired Mama, these responses make me happy to read.

    I know some people may disagree and say that it won't matter at all, as long as you love your child unconditionally, but for me (a Korean adoptee) having white parents has definitely affected me. I know lots of KAD's who feel the same way.
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    I'm white & my husband is thai, our son has light olive skin with round brown eye & western hair (not thick straight asian style) his fathers culture, language, beliefs & food is an important part of our lives, we live in UK so make sure that the thai part of his life is well represented. He is fully aware that he comes from 2 different countries & cultures & accepts it as it is.

    Kids do ask but not in a negative way & how you respond to those questions is the most important thing imo, honesty without making a big deal of the differences is the way we go, just state why the differences are there & leave the kid to think about it or not.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    I'm white & my husband is thai, our son has light olive skin with round brown eye & western hair (not thick straight asian style) his fathers culture, language, beliefs & food is an important part of our lives, we live in UK so make sure that the thai part of his life is well represented. He is fully aware that he comes from 2 different countries & cultures & accepts it as it is.

    Kids do ask but not in a negative way & how you respond to those questions is the most important thing imo, honesty without making a big deal of the differences is the way we go, just state why the differences are there & leave the kid to think about it or not.

    THAILAND AND THAI PEOPLE ROCK!! Sawadi ka!
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    we think so too :smile:

    ขอบคุณ
  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
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    As someone who plans to adopt, and possibly have children that look far different from their pale, brown-haired Mama, these responses make me happy to read.

    I know some people may disagree and say that it won't matter at all, as long as you love your child unconditionally, but for me (a Korean adoptee) having white parents has definitely affected me. I know lots of KAD's who feel the same way.

    Has it affected your negatively?

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