Need advice and tips to stay with it...

RunningAggie

Hey all! I have always had this issue when it comes to food choices. I'll be really good for a day or two or even three - a couple of weeks have passed and I'm still doing great. I'll rock along making good choices and things are looking fantastic. I keep saying to myself - "Self, this is it! This time we are going to stick with it". I'll be so excited and proud of my accomplishments. I feel better and have more energy. The results don't come as quick as I think they should. After a couple of weeks, I lose no weight. Then I get in trouble. My motivation wanes. I forget the feel good and energetic feelings. I have a bad day. "No problem - I'll just start anew tomorrow!" One bad day turns into two and then three and the next thing I know I can't remember the last time I had a good day. I feel miserable - partly because of the food choices and partly because I'm beating myself up, yet again, for failing. How do people keep at it? How do you pull yourself back up when you've crashed and burned? Does the fact that I don't mean that I just don't want it as much as I think I do? That I have no willpower? That I have no desire to be happy? Maybe I'm mistaking "happy" and "comfortable". I know that as much as I hate being this way - I'm comfortable in my fat suit. I've been in it for essentially 36 years. It's all I know. I want to love me for who I am. I want to be thin and feel "hot". I want to be happy and active and enjoy life. I say I want these things, yet I continually sabotage my efforts. Any advice or tips or butt kicking you can provide to get me out of the quicksand of "being comfortable" will be greatly appreciated.

cathyAprice

Just cling to the fact that you're not on a diet, it's a lifestyle change. In life, we have bumps and curves in the road. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start fresh the next day/week. I have tons of medical issues that many months, no matter what I do, I will gain...but just don't give up. Feel free to look me up on Facebook under Cathy Avriett Price or check out my blog at www.cathyprice.net/blog -- I understand major bumps in the road!

RNewton4269

Very good topic...this is not an easy journey....no one said it was going to be. It is going to be something you work on and work on and work on for the rest of your life...and that is exactly what it is..a life change. There are so many times when I wanted to give up but I didn't..the thing that kept me going was the fact that I could do this..I saw an end in sight...granted that end is a ways out..but I still see the final results and they are amazing.

You can do this...just take it one day at a time. Start out small. If you can only do 5 minutes on the eliptical...do 5 minutes. Enroll in a fun Zumba class or water aerobics. Find an exercise you can stick with....like walking around the block..or going to the local school and walking on the track. Put healthy snacks in those mini snack bags so you don't overeat. Plan out your daily food so you don't cheat. You can do this. You already have all the tools you need. You joined MFP right...and the people here are ready to help you and motivate you. Surround yourself with friends and family that support you...ignore the ones that don't.

It is ok to have a cheat day. It is ok to take a day off from exercising. You can even go out to dinner and be good. You can have that glass of wine sometimes. But you have to remember to drink your water too! Remember this is your journey and only you can make it what you want it to be..and only you can make it as successful as you want it to be.

If you want to add me..I will help motivate you and support you. That is what I am here for..and have gotten great support.

Remember..you can do this!

Good luck!

Atlantique

If you only measure success by the scale, then you are going to have one hell of an emotional rollercoaster and flagging motivation (along with many other derailing emotions). You sound like a person who should not weigh very often--maybe every two weeks or so--because the only thing that keeps you going is a downward trend on the scale.

And you also need to find other ways to gauge success! Take measurements and photographs periodically. Make goals for improving your eating habits and record your successes. Make fitness goals and record those successess, too! Running your first mile without stopping is a lot more rewarding than seeing the scale go down a pound, and so is getting into a smaller size of jeans!

You may also need to rework your overall reasons for weight loss. Write them down. Look at them often. These reasons are your motivation to keep at it when it's no fun or the scale stays flat. Vaguely defined goals tend to produce vague results; clearly defined goals tend to produce real, sustained progress!

christine24t

Sometimes, I get into funks where I just want to give up. Here are some tips!
- take photos of your progress so even if people don't notice you notice the difference
- incorporate treats into your day/food diary so you don't feel like you are depriving yourself. I honestly have treats most days of my life (just ate a Subway double chocolate chip cookie!!) but I don't keep them in the house.
- ask for support from your family. sometimes it sucks when they're like "you don't want that cookie do you?" and you do, but sometimes they hold you accountable and make you put down your fistful of M&Ms, or make you go to the gym.

vick9180

Lots of times, when we limit our food intake to only healthy foods, it's easy to fall off the bandwagon. It's ok to still eat a little bit of junk food, just do it in moderation. That way you didn't deprive yourself of what you love, but you didn't eat enough of it to be detrimental to your new lifestyle. When you go for these types of food, make yourself count out only one serving of it and put it on a plate or in a bowl and then put the rest away in a cabinet. Then you have one serving in front of you and that's all you eat. If you still feel snacky afterwards, drink some water so you feel full.

Another recommendation is journal your emotions when you start to crave the bad food. If you can pinpoint what causes you to switch from the apple to the candy bar, you will be more aware of your choices and know that you only want that candy bar because your co-worker made you mad, or you have family drama, or whatever the case may be.

It's easy to fall back into our habits that we've had for years, but you being purposeful about changing your habits is key. Your decisions are on purpose because you want to be healthy and live a longer, fuller life. Create an affirmation with positive self-talk stating things like, "I feel great because I'm eating healthy and making great choices." Repeat it to yourself out loud several times a day until your subconscious believes it and you automatically go for healthy food instead.

And lastly, remember that the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change and be open to the idea of changing and becoming a new you. Best of luck! You can do it!

Persipan

It sounds like you're focusing on how you look - quite naturally, everyone does! - but maybe it would help to think about it in terms of a healthy lifestyle, rather than how you look and how much you weigh? Because, like you said, when you're making the 'right' choices you feel good, you have more energy - but then you give up because of a number on the scale (a number which will only ever change sloooooooowly). How about not even weighing yourself for a few weeks or a month, but counting your calories and getting some exercise, and paying attention to how you feel rather than what you may or may not weigh? I bet at the end of that month you'd find you'd lost weight, but even if you somehow hadn't, if you'd had a month of feeling well and full of energy then frankly that's worth having in itself, and worth continuing.

Also, think about this in terms of a long-term lifestyle change rather than a short-term fix. If you tell yourself that you're doing something dreadful if you ever eat a piece of cake, of course you'll want to eat it all the more and then you'll feel miserable when you do. But, if you think of it in terms of "I like cake (or whatever) but I recognise that eating it all the time is probably a bad idea, so I'll have it sometimes as a treat and when I do I'll make some other adjustments - like eating a bit less of other things that day, or doing a bit of exercise - and then when I have it I can really enjoy it" then it's just normal.

Think, as well, about your health. If you're overweight, there are lots of potential implications for the future, and you're just sorting that out in the same way you'd get your arm put in plaster if you broke it, or you'd take antibiotics if you needed them. The fact that this particular health intervention leaves you thin and 'feeling hot' is just a handy side-effect!

shannonkk

MAYBE JUST START WITH ONE THING AT A TIME, STOP DRINKING SODA'S OR STOP FRYING FOOD. FIND HEALTHIER ALTERNATIVES TO YOUR TRIGGER FOODS, OR TRY AND FOCUS ON STAYING AT YOUR CALORIES AT FIRST INSTEAD OF CALORIES AND WORKING OUT. THEN TRY AND WORK A LITTLE YUMMY SOMETHING INTO YOUR CALORIES EVERY WEEK AND THE REST OF THE TIME FIND A HEALTHY SUBSTITUTE LIKE SPAGHETTI MADE WITH SPAGHETTI SQUASH AND INSTEAD OF NOODLES. I LOVE OREO SHAKES FROM JACK IN THE BOX, BUT THEN I WANT THE CHOCOLATE CAKE THEY HAVE TOO AND WHY NOT SOME CURLY FRIES. SO I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO JUST HAVE 1/4 OF THE SHAKE AND WORKING IT INTO MY DAILY CALORIES. I LOSE WEIGHT VERY SLOWLY, BUT ALONG THE WAY, I LOVE HOW MUCH MORE ENERGY i HAVE FROM A HEALTHY SANDWICH AND AN ORANGE FOR LUNCH THAN A BURGER AND FRIES, I EVEN CRAVE FRUIT NOW. HEALTHY ISNT ALWAYS FAT FREE CHEESE LETTUCE, IT CAN BE YUMMY. THEN WHEN YOU GET THE HANG OF EATING RIGHT, YOU COULD START WALKING AROUND THE BLOCK OR I WOULD JOG IN PLACE WHILE WATCHING TV. IT MADE ME SWEAT AND NO ONE COULD SEE ME, WHICH IS WHY i DIDN'T GO OUTSIDE TO DO IT.

RunningAggie

Thanks everyone for the support. I have finally gotten it in my head that this is about being active, healthy, and happy. I used to be OBSESSED with the scale. I'm not as much anymore (but I still like to see a downward trend ). Even not thinking about the numbers on the scale, I want my results "now". I want to fit in all the clothes in my closet rather than just my "fat clothes". I know this is a slow lifetime process, but sometimes I feel that I work so hard and do so well and nothing's changed. I'm still fat (by numbers of the scale or measuring tape) and I still cringe when I see myself in the mirror or a photo. I've registered for a sprint tri in August and a half marathon (I don't know what I was thinking on that one!!) in September. I'm trying to focus on those two events for now. I have made more mental progress this time around and I'm extremely proud of that. I guess I just get jealous of the people who seem to be so much better at all this than I am...

psuLemon

I'm comfortable in my fat suit. I've been in it for essentially 36 years.

One of the first things to help with your success is to overcome this perception. Telling yourself you are OK with where you are, is a pychological "excuse". For me, I am never completely comfortable with where I am. Now let me expand before you jump to too many conclusions. I have long term and short term goals and so should you. I would get out a piece of paper and pencil and write down a goal for the week, month, 3months, and very long term. Each week, do this exercise again. Each time you meet your goal, treat yourself in moderation. Small piece of cake, extra fruit, sherbert, smoothie, or whatever. This will take care of your cravings. Also, make sure you post your goals where you can see them, like next to a bathroom mirror.


Next, establish a good diet and workout routine. You don't neccessarily need to workout to lose weight but it will increase muscle mass which increasing caloric burn which increases weight loss. If you dont' like gyms (and I HATE them as they are boring) look into an in home workout program like: Chalean Extreme (this is the one I am doing, started the second round yesterday), p90x, julian michael 30 day shred, turbo fire,etc... Most of these programs are less than an hour, many are only 30-45 minutes. If you can't finish, it is ok. 20 minutes is better than 0 minutes. The biggest thing is setting up a routine where you workout everyday. It should be 3 days strength training and 3 cardio days. And you don't have to be fit. My friend did p90x and he was 150 or so pounds overweight. He pushed play as much as his body allowed and he lost 60 lbs in 90 days.

Next, throw out the scale and go pick up body calipers and a measuring tape. At times, your body may not lose weight but your body composition changes. What I mean by this, your body fat decreasing, you lose inches but the increase in muscle growth is at the same rate as the weight loss. Dont freak out. If you haven't lost weight, then we should evaluate if you are eating enough. But before we can do that, if you could provide a little detail such as: weight, height, age and if you have bf % then that is one of the best indicators. If you don't want to do it in the post, you can private message me and I can help. After that, I would suggest making your diary pubic so we can evaluate it.

Another thing that can help motive you is bringing a friend along for a ride or even if you cant find someone, every time you feel discouraged, come on here, make a post, grab a glass of water and walk for 10 minutes. This helps break cravings because you distract yourself.

Good luck


And remember, you aren't fat. The more you tell yourself that, the more you will believe in yourself, the less you will have this small hicups.

shannonkk

I remember when i first started the scale would only move every two weeks, but after two months and a new pant size I didnt mind the scale moving so slow. It starts to add up after a while and I knew since my weight was not going anywhere if I gave up, I had nothing to lose but weight