Motivation for the ones who can't even get started!

braybrayleigh

So I have been battling myself and trying to lose weight for 5 years now. I know it's a mental thing and not physical because I am fully equipped with the tools to lose the weight. I have a personal trainer, a gym membership, and i KNOW how to eat right... problem is I don't do it. I don't allow myself to lose weight! I've been carrying around a fluctuating 70-80 extra pounds for 5 years! Does anyone have any motivational keys that helped them finally get the ball rolling?

JennLifts

Can you figure out where the mental block is? Have you thought about a psychologist to help you look at your mind in a different light?

jreese5226

Imagine having the exact same feelings that you are having today a year or five years from now. Now imagine that you did something about it today (and not five years from now) and how much better you are going to feel then. Gets me off my bum every single day! Good luck to you! :laugh:

Bobbejo

Have you tried setting small goals? It seems to help me. Also, I start studying nutrition to feed my mind with healthy stuff.

t_prentice1

I know how you feel!! My fiance is a personal trainer AND a chef, and it would be so easy for me to lose weight! I had a baby 8 weeks ago, and intended to start losing the weight at week 6. After two weeks of sitting on the couch watching exercise videos (yes, literally just watching them) my sister gave me some rather harsh advice: "Fat people are just skinny people who gave up." It's cruel, but it's truthful!
Then my fiance said later that night, "Do you know how much weight you could have lost in the past two weeks? and two weeks from now, when you're still sitting here on the couch, do you really want to think about how much weight you could have lost in the past FOUR weeks!?"

I got off the couch and did 45 minutes of cardio yesterday. I hated every minute of it, but I was soooo proud of myself after the fact! you really do have to "just do it." It will suck, you will want to stop the whole time you are doing it... but when you're done, you'll feel amazing! I used to love working out and I know that if I keep pushing myself it will come back to me. Fake it til you make it! (Start today, really!! RIGHT NOW!! even if you don't do a full blown workout, do SOMETHING!! 50 jumping jacks, walk a lap around the table.. any movement is going to do you some good!)

Good luck!! You can do it!!

sophjakesmom

Start moving. make little goals every day. When faced with a choice, try to make the healthier one. If you did choose the unhealthy one, don't let that lead to another bad choice. (i.e. I have had one oreo, so I might as well finish the bag so I am not tempted.

You will be surprised at how quickly your motivation picks up. Good luck to you!:drinker:

liberty741

I am very interested in hearing what other people have to say about this, because I have the same problem! Good luck to you! :-)

d_llopez

Same w/me until almost a mth ago. It just clicked for me. I was just tired of saying tomorrow or the next day. That day has come and gone for me many of times. I have to remind myself everyday or you can lose your way. If not today, then when??? When your knees hurt, when you have to start buying new bigger clothes, when your put on blood pressure meds, people giving you that look.....You just get to a certain point in your life and your tired of making excuses. Just do it and take it day by day. Decide to do it and don't look back. It can only get better from here!

braybrayleigh

Jenn, yes I saw a counselor for about a year and we never really broke through on any blocks that I have. Personally I feel it has a lot to do with my best friend that passed away when I was 21 followed by my fiance` cheating on me and leaving me just the next month. I'm not sure how that incorporates into my health though or how to interpret it and get past it.

Dskwon

For me it was a similar story, and it's an issue that I feel can be applied to many problems. Perhaps the best example is a drug addict overcoming addiction. They may want to stop, but yet a lot of the time they will try and fail. They'll try again and they may fail again. But one day they'll reach a point so low, it will give them all the motivation they need to make the changes stick.

I think that when you're truly ready to make the big change and stick with it, you'll find the strength to make it happen. Nothing anyone says will make that happen for you, but you will find it in yourself at some point.

aneisiena

Have you tried setting small goals? It seems to help me. Also, I start studying nutrition to feed my mind with healthy stuff.

This is great advice. The thought of needing to shed off several pounds can be daunting (especially since losing them is a process and not an overnight thing). Become a health nut! When you think about it as a journey to a healthier you, weight loss will just be icing on the cake :-)

Best of luck!

randa_behnam

i was exactly the same! i have all sorts of gym equiptment at home and a gym membership and all sorts of stuff to help me but i never did anything! So i invtested some money in a trainer who comes to me, and cos i pay him in advance he has to come and see me otherwise i would just keep cancelling sessions and get shouted at for wasting money.

i also recently had homeopathic treatment for food intollerance and the woman really opened up my eyes to the start of my weight gain and the reasons behind it and turns out that its a lot more in depth than just "because i let myself get fat". That was enough to encourage me to stop thinking about the fat me, but to start thinking about the slim me and how mentally and physically happy i was and how i will be again, this is amazing motivation on its own.

and finally, this site is extreamly encouraging. seeing other peoples sucess stories makes me want to post my own one day (soon hopefully). There are a lot of people here and all with the same goal to lose weight and look and feel better.

start slow and youll soon build yourself up to the point where you miss exercising if you dont do it for a couple days! dont work yourself too hard at the beginning because it will just put you off.

good luck )

lil_pulp

Can you figure out where the mental block is? Have you thought about a psychologist to help you look at your mind in a different light?

This was my first thought too. It's hard work, but therapy has been extremely helpful for me in terms of identifying WHY i am not letting myself lose the rest of the weight.

An easier idea is to see if you can find a friend/family member (preferably in real life, but of course MFP people are great too!) to get healthy with you. You might be less likely to give up if someone else is on the journey with you....after all, you'd never invite a friend to go on a walk with you and then ditch them half-way. Plus, it's great to have someone to call up to talk to (or vent!) about weight loss and new healthy habits.

Good luck!

-LP

Texas501

Getting started is such a hard hurdle to overcome. When I started, I just started. I didn't over think it. When you think about it, you start finding excellent excuses not to start. JUST START. Start entering your intake now, forget about what you had this morning. If you're not at work, put on some shorts, a tshirt, and some tennis and go to the gym. Don't pause to think about it. JUST DO IT. If you give yourself time to think it through, you'll find awesome excuses not to do it and then say "I'll start tomorrow." JUST DO IT.

kimjoan

Lots of great tips here but the bottom line for a lot of us that are overweight is that eating is our addiction and like other addictions we partake to make other problems. I was lucky enough to hit my "rock bottom" and have that be the trigger for me that got 150 pounds of weight off. I guarantee you that the more you beat yourself up about not being ready the more weight you are going to put on. Whether it is through a therapist (which you have to be ready for as well) or some other means to unlock what has triggered your addiction you have to do what works for you. It is a journey and at the point in time in your life that your are ready to take and complete it you will.

CaptainMFP

Keep in mind that the same part of the brain -- the hypothalamus -- controls emotions, satiation (i.e. hunger & thirst) and metabolism, broad hormonal function, and many other things...basically, it should be unsurprising that motivation plays such a big role in the process of weight loss and that eating itself is so inherently emotional. In the end, motivation needs to be deeply and profoundly personal for it to be effective. I found my motivation in my kids and a trip to the ER last summer for out of control hypertension. I'll note that it's been a year since my ER trip but I only really started in earnest 2 1/2 months ago. Ultimately I had to play a protracted game of connect the dots with myself. I had kids late...I'm currently 37 and my boys are 2 and 4...men in my family don't typically live much past 72...if I want to see my boys grow up and get to know any grandchildren, I need to improve my health now. This realization was the motivation I needed, but it took me time to figure this out. My best advice to you is to look deep inside and look in places you haven't looked yet. And if you can't find it, consider talking to a therapist (as suggested above) as we all need help from time-to-time to get to the bottoms of ourselves. (Above all, remember what you said in your post: you know you have the tools to succeed. This is so important! Once you tap into your motivation to USE those tools, the sky is the limit!)

thurberj

I felt the same way. I think (sorry guys) that women do for everyone but themselves many times. I finally after several personal losses and moves within a few months decided that it was time to put ME first and that I really wanted to make a healthy change in my life. I HAD TO DECIDE THAT I FELT THIS WAS THE RIGHT TIME. Once I made the decision, I have used the support and motivation from MFP people and my family. Like DR. Phil says....you can't change what you don't acknowledge...and I will add that you will not change until you commit that it is important and the right time for you.

The journey is not easy, but MFP is a great place to get ongoing support ONCE you commit to do this for yourself. We can not do it for you, but will hold your hand and support and help with positive feedback along the way. Friend me if you like.....I've had bumps in the road, but choose to be positive and look forward not back.:flowerforyou:

Kalrez

For most of my life, I've used my size (height & weight) as a way to isolate myself from people. I didn't want to get hurt. Sure, that worked for a long time. I had very few friends, which meant few people who got close enough to hurt me. It's taken a long time for me to realize that there's more to being ME than just being the tall, chubby, quirky, funny girl. It's taken a long time, a few ups and a lot of serious downs, for me to realize that I'm ALLOWED to be happy, that I'm ALLOWED to be beautiful and feel beautiful.

I had to allow myself to be happy, to be healthy, and to live up to my potential.

I'm a procrastinator. I put things off so I can rush them at the end. Not because I don't want to do the task, but because I don't want to seem like I put a lot of effort into something. If I rush it or halfass it and it's terrible, then I can blame it on not having enough time - not because I failed. It's been the same way with losing weight. I haven't let myself actually TRY until now. I didn't want to try, because trying means that the results are a show of real effort.

It took a while for me to get to know myself. I'm still learning about who I am.

Allow yourself to try. Give yourself permission to be happy and healthy.

PeachyKeene

Jenn, yes I saw a counselor for about a year and we never really broke through on any blocks that I have. Personally I feel it has a lot to do with my best friend that passed away when I was 21 followed by my fiance` cheating on me and leaving me just the next month. I'm not sure how that incorporates into my health though or how to interpret it and get past it.

Life really hits us hard sometimes. We can let it control us or we can control ourselves. With everything that you have been through, you really need a good way to release the fustrations of what has happened to you. Exercise is a great way to do that. The biggest obstacle is getting up and getting started. We all have days we just don't feel like working out, but after we actually get started and the adrenaline starts pumping, it feels good.

lindainlv

It is pretty overwhelming to look at loosing 70-80 lbs. Then if you have tried & failed several times, that certain decreases ones motivation to try again. Have you tried to just look at doing this one day at a time. Yesterday is gone. Why think about the last 5 years. Just take each day, one day at a time. Think that you do not know what you are going to do tomorrow, but today you are going to exercise and stay on the program. If you made a mistake one day, forgive yourself, move on & think about today. Start by just taking a walk today. Keep it simple. For awhile don't think of the 70-80 lbs. Then as you are taking each day one at a time & you are successful, use that success to build your confidence & keep it rolling. It's all about today. Good luck!

braybrayleigh

I'm ALLOWED to be happy, that I'm ALLOWED to be beautiful and feel beautiful. This statement is one of the simplest yet most inspiring comments yet!