Parents help!

texakin20

Help!

OK.. so I have a question to those parents out there. If your child wants to invite a kid to their Birthday Party.. and that kid has a sibling or two.. is it a given or not that the siblings HAVE to come and be invited? Is it common sense they ALL kids in that family HAVE to come.. or can someone JUST invite one, specially if they are a few years apart? Thoughts? Be honest with me I want to know what people expect...Thanks!

Basically.. I am having a small tea party for my soon to be 5 yr old. And she wanted one girl to come, that has twin sisters younger than her, and also another girl, which has a sister. So my party of 8, could almost be filled with just these two familes if they ALL came. But my daughter is not friends with the other sisters and it costs me each person over 8 total.

I did see the mom of the 3 kids and I said "Hey.. my daughter wanted to invite ____ to her party", and she said.."Oh. Can ___ and ___ come too?" Just think this is unfair to kids that want only the one kid to come. But am I being rude not to invite all the kids in that family?

KyleGA

If the kids/siblings are within 2 years of age and the person you're wanting to invite and that person you want to invite is 7yrs or younger...I think if you invite one, you invite all. Not saying that I agree with this, just that seems to be the norm from what i've seen.

We have a four year old little girl and think this is just the way it is until the kids are older and definite lines have been drawn from the relationship. Meaning, when we're young...everyone seems to just play together. As we get older, we start forming cliques and the difference in age really starts to play a factor.

The alternative is to not invite those who fall into that category and just let your little one know so and so is not able to come. It's not like your 5 yr old will pick up the phone and call her friend to verify or get the reasons why she can't come.

The risk is upsetting the parent of the other child, as again many people feel that if their kids are all within the same age, they should all get along and it isnt until they are older can you start drawing lines.

Depending upon the party, we go both ways. Some times invite those and expect bro and sis to come along as well. Other times we're more strategic and withhold sending an invite to little suzie who has 3 siblings 1-2 years younger. Unless we have a really good relationship with the parent and are able to explain the situation to.

Just my thoughts...take them for what they're worth. Like they say, opinions are like _____ everyone has one and most (if not all) stink! Cheers! :-p

tmacs

I just went through this and even though the siblings were NOT invited, they came anyway . I personally don't think it's wrong to only invite one sibling if that is your child's friends and/or there is a big age difference between the birthday girl/boy and friend's siblings. Just talk to the parents and tell them that you want to keep it small. It didn't work for me, but maybe it will work for you?

cdbillups

With a family of four daughters we've ran into this before. Normally, only the child listed on the invitation gets to go. If the person wanted the entire family at the party they would have stated that on the invitation. I've never had a younger sibling come to a party we've invited someone to. Maybe all the parents in town think like me on this issue.

just_silk

I personally think it's rude of the parent to ask if their other children can attend the event. Particularly in events where obviously it would cost to have them there.

For me, I have a sister 2 years older. Growing up we didn't attend the events of each others friends unless specifically invited.

jojopel

I personally think it's rude of the parent to ask if their other children can attend the event. Particularly in events where obviously it would cost to have them there.

I agree. When my kids were quite young (pre-school), I would invite siblings and parents. When they started school, only the friend was invited.

SabrinaJL

But my daughter is not friends with the other sisters and it costs me each person over 8 total.

I did see the mom of the 3 kids and I said "Hey.. my daughter wanted to invite ____ to her party", and she said.."Oh. Can ___ and ___ come too?" Just think this is unfair to kids that want only the one kid to come. But am I being rude not to invite all the kids in that family?

I think you should tell the mom that. "Sorry, but this party is for my daughter and her friends and due to the cost, we're planning on keeping it to just these 8 children."

texakin20

Great ideas and so glad it is not just me that thinks "normal". I would never dump all my kids off (sure they are many years apart with different friends, but still), at a party when one child does not even know the b day kid. I appreciate your thoughts cause it was bothering me!! I have made the invites and given them out today to my daughters few classmatyes she wants to invite.

It is what it is!

Thanks again for your help!

RoadDog

Have three daughters. Never saw that problem manifest itself. Only the invitee attended.

california_peach

It is not wrong to just invite the one sibling. Siblings need separate lives and separate sets of friends. I have two sons and they go to the same preschool and know a lot of the same children. But if got a invite for K I would not assume that S was invited. And I would only bring S if I had to and only then if the parents of the child having the party consented.

When having a party at a destination people understand that there are often limits on the number of children that can be included. Invite who your daughter wants to inculde and if someone asks to bring a sibling explain that the locals had a hard limit on attendee and that you will have to let them know closer to the date of the party.