So funny!!!!

annalobdell

Here's an old joke that I've always found hilarious: A man goes to the doctor, and the doctor tells him that if he doesn't lose 70 pounds fast he's going to die. The man goes home devastated. He picks up the newspaper and sees an ad for a weight loss program. He figures, what the hell, and calls the number listed in the ad. "Hello?" the dispatcher says on the other end. "Yes, hello," the man says. "I'm calling about your weight loss program that I read about in the paper?" "Oh yes, of course," the dispatcher says. "It comes in a three-part regiment. With the first part, you'll lose ten pounds in three days. If you like the results, we'll tell you more about the program." The man is intrigued and gives the dispatcher his name and address. The next morning, the doorbell rings at the man's house. He opens the door and sees a young athletic woman wearing nothing but running shoes and a sign around her neck that says "IF YOU CATCH ME YOU CAN HAVE ME." The woman runs off, and the man chases after her. He keeps on running until he catches up with her, and he has his way with her. This goes on for two more days, but on the fourth day she is gone. The man gets up on the scale and is shocked to find that he has lost 10 pounds. He calls the company to inquire about the second part of the weight loss program. The dispatcher tells him that the next part lasts for five days and guarantees a twenty-pound weight loss. The man immediately signs up again. The next morning, the doorbell rings at the man's house. He opens the door and sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his entire life wearing nothing but running shoes and a sign around her neck that says "IF YOU CATCH ME YOU CAN HAVE ME." She takes off, and the man chases after her until he catches her. This goes on for four more days, but on the sixth day she is gone. The man is delighted when he gets up on the scale and discovers that he has lost 20 pounds. He goes to the doctor, who is amazed at his sudden progress, but warns him that he's still got some pounds to shed. The man calls up the weight loss program when he gets home to call about the last part of the weight loss program. The dispatcher tells him that it will last for seven days and guarantees a fifty-pound weight loss. The next morning, the doorbell rings at the man's house. He opens the door and sees Richard Simmons wearing nothing but running shoes and a sign around his neck that says "IF I CATCH YOU I CAN HAVE YOU."

anacsitham5

Funny!

NancyAnne1960

LOL :laugh: :laugh:

dls06

Good One!