Peer Pressure!

monkeymouse74

Forgive me, this may not be something most would like to admit or agree to, but I find that people try and sabotage you when you're losing weight. Whether they do it conscientiously or subconscientiously is irrelevant I don't know, but they try and sabotage you none the less. Perhaps it's a type of "survival of the fittest" gear that kicks into play or it's just a jealousy factor.... who knows. But it kicks in and we sabotage or be sabotaged.

I noticed myself do this same thing last night. A mutual acquaintance is in dire need of losing weight. And she's taken the initiative and started the Dukan Diet. Though I'm not an avid lover of it, at least she's doing something. Rather than encouraging her or complimenting her on her effort, I slated the Dukan diet by calling it the "Dunkin Diet"!! How could I be so mean!!! Many people have had tremendous success on the Dukan diet and it's not a Dunkin Diet anyway, so why would I say something like that?!?! Because subconsciously, I didn't want anyone else to lose weight in my group.

I am not a bad person. I make every effort to encourage people in their weight loss and I am genuinely pleased when people announce their successes. I made contact with this person and apologised for what I said and have offered any assistance I can offer.

I agree, It also changes the dynamic of your friendships. Some people like to have that "fat" friend who makes them feel better about themselves. It's not always meant to be mean, it's just the way it is. And when the "fat" friend starts to slim down, they have to look at themselves without a buffer, and that's a really hard thing to do. So sabtage is the most logical way to prevent them having to face up to themselves. You also become more confident as you lose weight and that's also difficult for some people to cope with.

But good on you for not falling for it...:flowerforyou:

I also agree that this is a lifestyle change, and to deny yourself certain foods is just setting yourself up for a really hard time. Be carefull to only have foods like that if you truelly feel hungry, and then compensate so you still fall in your calorie goal or incorperate it into your workout. And a free day is also a good idea, just not everyday.:bigsmile:

hellokathy

I must admit that on an occasion like the one you described, I would have probably given in, if it wasn't something I'd do regularly (spend a day by the sea, I mean). Sometimes you'll have to allow yourself a treat like that, so I don't strongly disagree with your friend. What irks me is when people just won't give me a break when I say no. Or when they suggest I just have junk food for no reason. Like today I'm not feeling so good and I've put in all the things I plan to eat and am still only at around 900 calories. I can't even bear the thought of eating more but I should to at least reach my 1,200 minimum. And my friend suggested I should eat chocolate just to get up there. Of course, I would reach my minimum then, but I'd eat something that's pretty much completely unhealthy and I wouldn't even enjoy it. Why would she tempt me to do that then?

runnercheryl

My thought is that you can't please everyone, so you might as well please yourself.

I'm not going to say I don't give in to peer pressure sometimes - my fiance occasionally suggests takeaway and I DO have it, but I select a children's meal or go for the healthiest thing on the menu, and that works for me.

However, I've had that pressure in two directions. You have the "one chocolate bar won't hurt" people, who'll influence you to consume just one little thing because the calories aren't THAT bad, and I've had the people who watch my healthy lifestyle with great interest from their dieting position. These are people who still see weight loss as a diet, who've watched me change my whole lifestyle and who comment on how I should try the latest fad diet they're on because I'm not losing weight very quickly.

Some people want you to eat more, some want you to eat less - to me, that says you're doing fine right in the middle!