Friends can only take you so far
lunarchaos
Posts: 14 Member
Okay. I've been on this site for a little over a month. It's helped me learn to eat better and it's nice talking to people about things that you wouldn't normally than with those that you may feel like don't understand the problems of weight loss. I get it, this is a good place for support. But I don't know if it's just me or not but lately I've seen so many people asking for help when they are plateauing or not losing weight at all to begin with. I don't wanna play Dr. Phil here but it's right there in the post what the issue usually is.
If you make a post and say something like, "I'm trying to limit my food intake but it's so hard" (blanket statement example) then you may not be ready to do this at all. What happened to old fashioned will power? Determination? Looking yourself in the eye and saying, "I can do better. I will do better."? You have the power to say no. You're the adult.
Say you live in a famliy environment and nobody else wants/needs to change themselves. They like cookies, you like cookies. You don't have to eat the cookie just because it's in the house! The other choice is to eat it, log it and compromise with something else in the day, e.g. a smaller portion for dinner or a salad instead. McDonald's can even be on the list but make smart choices. You don't have to "give up" anything but just be smart about it. Unless it's an extreme medical condition, what it always comes down to is your choice.
Learn what real hunger feels like and not boredom. Communicate with your body. If you try a new "healthier" food and don't like it, then don't eat it. You'll never reach your goal if you are miseriable the whole journey. You have to enjoy life or what's the point of changing to be healthier? A longer life of just being unhappy?
The cold hard truth is this: losing weight is hard. It's a lifestyle change for many of us that have 50 - 100+ lbs to tackle. There is no "cheating" or falling off the wagon. It's learning how to understand your body and nurture it like you wanna keep it for a while. It's your body, it should always come first.
Personally I have had to learn to eat more. I was eating the wrong food all the time then offsetting it by not eating for almost 2 days sometimes. My body was a wreck and I ignored it. But I've since learned to listen to what it's telling me and catering to those needs, but I make the final decision, not my urges.
This site is great to get on and read inspirational stories, get recipies, blow off steam and make new friends. The friends I have on here are FANTASTIC. They are confident, optimistic, level headed, down to earth, world-class sexy people. We pat each other on the back and when we need it, we ask to be patted. But at the end of the day it's me who I have to answer to. Same goes for them; same for everyone.
And here is what a lot of people are not going to like to hear: If you are not losing weight, it is your fault. It is something you are doing or not doing *ehrmexcersisehrm* and you need to pinpoint what that is. It's true our bodies vary, you can see that standing next to one another. However how our bodies function is not all that different. If they did all work differently we would all be on specialized food disiplines and couldn't all use this site the same way. So "all our bodies is different" is complete malarky to me. It's something in your lifestyle that still needs to change.
In closing I apologize if I presented myself as too rash but the truth hurts. We all discovered that when we accepted that we needed to lose weight. Tough love, sink or swim-- choose your phrase but if you aren't hard on yourself then you aren't serious enough about this to make a significant difference. We are here for each other and we always will be. You need to be there for yourself too.
If you make a post and say something like, "I'm trying to limit my food intake but it's so hard" (blanket statement example) then you may not be ready to do this at all. What happened to old fashioned will power? Determination? Looking yourself in the eye and saying, "I can do better. I will do better."? You have the power to say no. You're the adult.
Say you live in a famliy environment and nobody else wants/needs to change themselves. They like cookies, you like cookies. You don't have to eat the cookie just because it's in the house! The other choice is to eat it, log it and compromise with something else in the day, e.g. a smaller portion for dinner or a salad instead. McDonald's can even be on the list but make smart choices. You don't have to "give up" anything but just be smart about it. Unless it's an extreme medical condition, what it always comes down to is your choice.
Learn what real hunger feels like and not boredom. Communicate with your body. If you try a new "healthier" food and don't like it, then don't eat it. You'll never reach your goal if you are miseriable the whole journey. You have to enjoy life or what's the point of changing to be healthier? A longer life of just being unhappy?
The cold hard truth is this: losing weight is hard. It's a lifestyle change for many of us that have 50 - 100+ lbs to tackle. There is no "cheating" or falling off the wagon. It's learning how to understand your body and nurture it like you wanna keep it for a while. It's your body, it should always come first.
Personally I have had to learn to eat more. I was eating the wrong food all the time then offsetting it by not eating for almost 2 days sometimes. My body was a wreck and I ignored it. But I've since learned to listen to what it's telling me and catering to those needs, but I make the final decision, not my urges.
This site is great to get on and read inspirational stories, get recipies, blow off steam and make new friends. The friends I have on here are FANTASTIC. They are confident, optimistic, level headed, down to earth, world-class sexy people. We pat each other on the back and when we need it, we ask to be patted. But at the end of the day it's me who I have to answer to. Same goes for them; same for everyone.
And here is what a lot of people are not going to like to hear: If you are not losing weight, it is your fault. It is something you are doing or not doing *ehrmexcersisehrm* and you need to pinpoint what that is. It's true our bodies vary, you can see that standing next to one another. However how our bodies function is not all that different. If they did all work differently we would all be on specialized food disiplines and couldn't all use this site the same way. So "all our bodies is different" is complete malarky to me. It's something in your lifestyle that still needs to change.
In closing I apologize if I presented myself as too rash but the truth hurts. We all discovered that when we accepted that we needed to lose weight. Tough love, sink or swim-- choose your phrase but if you aren't hard on yourself then you aren't serious enough about this to make a significant difference. We are here for each other and we always will be. You need to be there for yourself too.
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Replies
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Are you a Republican?0
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Have to give you a thumbs up on this post!0
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I really enjoyed reading this post, and I agree. Nice read
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Bravo. Well said!0
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I can so relate to your words. very eloquent and appropriate for many folk here, including myself. Thanks for being so honest.0
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I see nothing wrong with this post. Well done.0
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Bump - for when I need to RSVP that I will NOT be attending a self-pity party.
) 0 -
I agree, it's difficult to fault fault with any of the above.0
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Speaking the truth my friend!! Friends can join you on your journey but they can't carry you. You have to walk for yourself.0
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awesome job ! I agree will alot of what you said. Especially that you learned to listen to your body. That has really helped me as well! Well done on this article0
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two thumbs up!0
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I approve of this!
I need my friend to read it to kick her butt into gear! She can blame her family, the food in her house, her emotions, ANYTHING but blame herself and take responsibility for her actions. I truly believe that as soon as you can find that self-control, you can accomplish anything!
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:glasses: Ok, I believe you have just opened Pandoras box.0
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Damn, what a good read! Bob, what do we have in store for him?0
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I agree with this and I don't.
Many long time members knew I had the same firm view on these topics and I still do but I have also found myself in the binging situation and sometimes you are so in the moment you dont know what you are doing till it's too late, Sure you can burn it off which I dont argue but I am learning will power you can have and lose and have again.
I know I have one of the most strictest diets out of any MFP member hands down yet sometimes the more strict you are with yourself the harder it becomes!
None the less when I see posts about "I ate a pizza" or "i am full on 700 cals" it does very much frustrate me, like really you physically cannot eat more then 700 cals? I drink 700 cals for breakfast. Sure I dont weight 110 either.0 -
Are you a Republican?
hahaa0 -
I don't know about the OP, but I'm a democrat and I agree with what he's sayingAre you a Republican?
The only disagreement I may have is that I really do think there are serious, real, food addiction issues that some people have, but for the most part, we just need to be more responsible and sensible.0 -
That post was awesome. Thank you.0
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I will just say Agreed
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I don't know. I would say 90% of the time you are correct. You are however missing one key factor for quite a few people....medical issues. What a lot of people don't know that there are quite a few women that have PCOS (I know there are other issues as well, hypothyroidism and such, but I personally have PCOS and can speak with experience to it). Before I was diagnosed I was logging all of my food and going to the gym 5-6 days a week and I only lost 3 pounds in 8 months. Granted, had I not been doing all of that I would have gained quite a bit of weight, but for all the work I put in I saw no return. Then I was diagnosed and all it took was a little metformin and I was able to lose weight again. Do I agree that people need to take control of their own diets and what is going on, yes. But for some people there is a medical reason why they are not losing weight.
Sorry, I just had to throw my 2 cents in there, but I know the struggle and confusion as to why some people can't lose weight.0 -
I don't know. I would say 90% of the time you are correct. You are however missing one key factor for quite a few people....medical issues. What a lot of people don't know that there are quite a few women that have PCOS (I know there are other issues as well, hypothyroidism and such, but I personally have PCOS and can speak with experience to it). Before I was diagnosed I was logging all of my food and going to the gym 5-6 days a week and I only lost 3 pounds in 8 months. Granted, had I not been doing all of that I would have gained quite a bit of weight, but for all the work I put in I saw no return. Then I was diagnosed and all it took was a little metformin and I was able to lose weight again. Do I agree that people need to take control of their own diets and what is going on, yes. But for some people there is a medical reason why they are not losing weight.
Sorry, I just had to throw my 2 cents in there, but I know the struggle and confusion as to why some people can't lose weight.
Yes I agree with you, there are medical issues, which I mentioned very briefly in my original post. I chose not to go too detailed into that because it would be better suited for a new topic entirely. But yes there are medical issues, and going to see a physician to get the problem dealt with is another step that, unfortuanely, must be taken by certain individuals. And just going to the doctor takes a certain amount of ownership that there is an additional circumstance to get help with, which I applaude. After that is resolved however, it again, falls back on the individual. Thank you, and everyone else, for taking the time to post and add your opinions to mine.0 -
I can say with 100% certainty that in my case, it was all about taking responsibility for my body and mind. I'm replying right now so that I can come back here to read this if I feel like I'm not doing what I gotta do.
Thanks!0 -
I totally get what you were saying and totally agree with you. I have wanted to say it before. If you are not losing, you are doing something wrong. period. Pull up your panties(or tighty whities) and figure out what it is and move on. amen.0
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Great Post!0
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Awesome!!0
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Now THIS needs to be tagged for Newbies to read
Weight loss is primarily a psychological battle (when medical issues aren't involved). Not easy, but that's what makes it have worth. Keep this mindset and you will have success :flowerforyou: I sound like a fortune cookie hahaha0 -
Good post and worth the read. You really have to want it to be successful at weight loss. Don't make excuses, just do it!0
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Are you a Republican?
hahahahahaahhahahahahahhaahahahahahhaaaa.0 -
Speaking the truth my friend!! Friends can join you on your journey but they can't carry you. You have to walk for yourself.
absolutely right....we can only encourage and support so much, but the ultimate choice to exercise, do right, and succeed is a personal choice0
This discussion has been closed.
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