"Husband's suck" "I blame my husband" Etc....

Options
myiceisonfire
myiceisonfire Posts: 782 Member
in Motivation and Support
First off of all, I'm not a "female dog", but I'm going to come off as one, just fair warning...

I've read too many posts lately with women blaming their husbands & saying it's their fault that they're overweight.
Also read another blog about a woman who was furious at her husband because he told her she needed to try harder.

Unless your husband is strapping you to a chair & force feeding you... he's not forcing you to eat the foods you're eating:
My husband doesn't like healthy food, & I know it's time consuming & takes money to make two different meals. So I don't. I eat what he eats with MODERATION!.... If you don't want to eat in moderation, that's fine, work out! Do you know how many minutes in a day you spend just going to the bathroom alone? You can't tell me that you don't have 5 minutes to work out a day? 5 minutes is better than nothing isn't it?

For husbands that tell you that you need to work harder:
Hey, maybe you do! My husband tells me that, and I don't like to hear it, but guess what- He's totally right. My husband knows me better than I know myself. And maybe he remembered that fun-size candy bar I ate earlier that I totally forgot about. Be happy that your husband wants you to work harder, that means he wants you to succeed!!! It means he KNOWS that you can working, he KNOWS that you can do this! It means he has faith in you!

I know some husband ARE jerks & some do say hurtful things.
But there's also us as women take things too personally & think too much into things.

Why did you marry your husband? Because you LOVE & RESPECT one another. And let me tell you what, he's the one person you shouldn't complain about. Problems with a husband should be between you and you husband! And complaining about him is NOT respectful & loving. Especially on a message board! Got a problem with him- talk to him.


I know I'm probably going to get some mean comments on here, and honestly I don't care. Someone needed to say this...
«13

Replies

  • Hodar
    Hodar Posts: 338 Member
    Options
    It's always easier to blame someone else; than accept blame for yourself. It's just human nature.
  • TTops76
    TTops76 Posts: 116
    Options
    Love Love Love!!!
  • myiceisonfire
    myiceisonfire Posts: 782 Member
    Options
    It's always easier to blame someone else; than accept blame for yourself. It's just human nature.

    SOOOO true! =) But it's like an addict, if you can't admit that its your fault, you wont be able to change it. You'll continue to always find a different excuse.
  • VegGrrl
    VegGrrl Posts: 336 Member
    Options
    I agree with most of what you say. But I also know that sometimes sig. others are just jerks. We all need to vent once in a while. :grumble: Some folks might not have any support system but MFP. It's all good...
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
    Options
    Wow, you rock! Love love love this. Talk to your best friend about your marital problems instead of putting it on a forum. Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself about who got you in this position. Stop complaining about the dang baby weight and your kid is 14 years old. Love it!
  • Becky1971
    Becky1971 Posts: 979 Member
    Options
    Not from me, I agree!
    It's always easier to blame someone else; than accept blame for yourself. It's just human nature.
  • FabCheeky
    FabCheeky Posts: 311
    Options
    I switched to paleo for my health while everyone else in my family ate regular meals that *I* cooked for them for several months. Yeah, suck it up and eat right. You can do anything that you decide to do. By the way, now the whole family eats more paleo. My kids are paleo+some rice, my hubby eats what he likes during the day and is paleo+rice/tortilla at nights and weekends. We've all increased in health dramatically. It never would have happened if I would have whined and moaned about it being too hard.
  • myiceisonfire
    myiceisonfire Posts: 782 Member
    Options
    I agree with most of what you say. But I also know that sometimes sig. others are just jerks. We all need to vent once in a while. :grumble: Some folks might not have any support system but MFP. It's all good...

    Venting's fine. But blaming people for being overweight isn't right. Esp when you're blaming the person closest to you.
  • MissMegan3119
    MissMegan3119 Posts: 110
    Options
    I agree completely. Granted, I gained my weight technically because of my husband, but not because I felt it was his fault, it was because mentally, he made me feel great no matter how I looked, so I lost sense of my health. When I wanted to begin a healthy life style, I told my husband that he could join me if he wanted, but if he didn't, I still was, and that I needed to do this myself. Husbands tend to get a bad rep, but all in all, you are responsible for yourself.
  • myiceisonfire
    myiceisonfire Posts: 782 Member
    Options
    Wow, you rock! Love love love this. Talk to your best friend about your marital problems instead of putting it on a forum. Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself about who got you in this position. Stop complaining about the dang baby weight and your kid is 14 years old. Love it!

    Also, woman who blame their husbands for how they look after they have a baby.... Takes you honey you didn't knock yourself up all by yourself.
  • MichelleB69
    MichelleB69 Posts: 213 Member
    Options
    Geez; I wish I had all this wisdom at 22 and was married for what? a year or two? LOL

    Not trying to rain on your parade, but sometimes husbands/wives/significant others DO suck...esp if you've been with them for awhile. People make mistakes, people are ****ty to one another even if they do love each other, etc.

    I agree w/ the previous poster...some people just need a place to vent.
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
    Options
    Personally I don't blame my husband because I am overweight and he is really supportive of me. But, who are you to tell someone how to feel and what they should and shouldn't post about their husbands. If it does not break forum rules and it makes them feel better. So be it! Why are you letting what other's say about their husbands affect how you feel?
  • miriamtorason
    miriamtorason Posts: 208 Member
    Options
    It may not be entirely the husband's fault, but you know what? Sometimes it is. Sometimes, he goes out and buys groceries, and then you're at home on a Sunday night with closed grocery stores, and all you can eat is crap or crap... and you CAN'T work out because of some undisclosed reason (injury, illness, little kids, whatever). Sometimes, it's really just an overreaction to some little irritation. Sometimes your husband is a tactless buffoon. There are nice ways to say "work harder," and "you're not trying hard enough" isn't one of them. The RESPECTFUL thing to do would be to say, "you're complaining you're not losing weight. I'm sorry you're not losing - are you keeping track of everything you've eaten? Are you getting enough time to work out?" These are helpful ideas, and neither condescending nor blaming. Very respectful, very tactful.

    However, other times... you just need to vent. Preferably to people who have had similar problems. Once it's out of your head and on the 'paper,' as it were, you're free to go about your day.

    Not saying don't own up when it's your fault, just that sometimes there's a good reason to vent, and (I know it's the case for me!) if you blow off a little steam here, then sit down and are able to discuss things rationally with your spouse... Seems like a good use of the time. YMMV, though.
  • myiceisonfire
    myiceisonfire Posts: 782 Member
    Options
    I agree completely. Granted, I gained my weight technically because of my husband, but not because I felt it was his fault, it was because mentally, he made me feel great no matter how I looked, so I lost sense of my health. When I wanted to begin a healthy life style, I told my husband that he could join me if he wanted, but if he didn't, I still was, and that I needed to do this myself. Husbands tend to get a bad rep, but all in all, you are responsible for yourself.

    Awwww! That's actually really sweet. I'm glad that he made you feel goo no matter what. =) I think it's awesome when we feel good about yourselves... until we get too comfortable, hehe =D =) My husband's amazing too! He doesn't care how I look he still thinks I'm beautiful. But I need to do this for me =)
  • Sweetlux
    Sweetlux Posts: 222 Member
    Options
    But I do blame my husband…for bringing home Oreos and milk last night. AND THEN he let me eat them! Seriously this did happen last night, I only had two but the point is that if he didn’t buy them I wouldn’t have eaten them. I know I have total control of my own self and I can’t blame him for me eating them. I never EVER buy stuff like that at the store. I prefer to eat light dinner and a big breakfast. He doesn’t even like breakfast. I have to beg him to run outdoors with me because I won’t go running by myself, so sometimes I am stuck inside running on the treadmill. He’s not on the same page as me, nor does he need to be he is not overweight (neither am I anymore:D). My husband is AMAZING! And I love him so much, I can’t blame him for my getting fat (although he’s so freakin cute that I would rather cuddle on the couch with him than workout). He could have made things easier for me! So I see where these women are coming from.
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    Options
    unfortunately not everyone has a great relationship with their husband. Not everyone feels close to him, supported by him, etc. congratulations to you that you have that wonderful relationship!!! I also have an amazing husband!! yay for us!! I would never tear someone down who was in an unhappy marriage =( besides, I think it's a little easier to anonymously vent to strangers on a message board than to involve friends and family.......some people are scared of their husbands.......some people don't love their husbands......live and let live, the cool thing about free will is people can feel what they want to feel, but you don't have to read it or like it!!! neat huh?! =D
  • kalelwifey
    kalelwifey Posts: 172
    Options
    mmhmm.....lol right right..um..lol but i wouldnt know..I aint married1
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
    Options
    Stop complaining about the dang baby weight and your kid is 14 years old. Love it!

    Haha, I have an aunt that does that. She complained up until her "baby" was close to 10 years old that her body wasn't fat other than the "baby weight." Forget the fact that 5 years after David was born, she was over 300 pounds. Really? That must have been one heck of a big baby! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • mrsclc
    mrsclc Posts: 73
    Options
    This is awesome!!! I'm in total agreement with you! :smile:
  • Sweetlux
    Sweetlux Posts: 222 Member
    Options
    unfortunately not everyone has a great relationship with their husband. Not everyone feels close to him, supported by him, etc. congratulations to you that you have that wonderful relationship!!! I also have an amazing husband!! yay for us!! I would never tear someone down who was in an unhappy marriage =( besides, I think it's a little easier to anonymously vent to strangers on a message board than to involve friends and family.......some people are scared of their husbands.......some people don't love their husbands......live and let live, the cool thing about free will is people can feel what they want to feel, but you don't have to read it or like it!!! neat huh?! =D

    Yeah what she said!

Categories