Nebraska's safe haven law- Rant

Anna_Banana

Okay this is on the news every day here in Nebraska, and I just need to gripe a little.

Nebraska passed this law called the Safe Haven Law. It was put in effect to protect small children, from being dumped in the streets or dumpsters or being abused. It basically says that any parent can drop off their child at a hospital to be turned over to the state with no questions asked. Okay here's the problem. They wanted to intend the law for small children, but they never stated that. Now people are just dumping kids of any age off. In September there were 17 kids abandoned. 17!!! and most of these are teenaged kids. On guy droped of 7 kids ages 1 to 17. How could a parent do that. I could see wanting to give up a baby if you felt that you couldn't take care of it, but how in the heck do you tell your teenager that you don't want them any more and you are giving them away.

Now here's the new twist. A person in Detroit heard of this law and actually brought there 12 (or 13) year old down and dumped them. How crazy is that. There are no questions asked so people are coming from two states away to drop kids.

Now they are trying to get the law changed to be age specific, because it was originally suppose to be for infants. Here is my question. Now that we are seeing that so many parents are abandoning these older kids, shouldn't we just let them. I know it's horrible, but maybe they would be better off in a different home than staying with parents that don't want them.

Okay, I feel better. I just had to get that out.

Anna_Banana

Okay this is on the news every day here in Nebraska, and I just need to gripe a little.

Nebraska passed this law called the Safe Haven Law. It was put in effect to protect small children, from being dumped in the streets or dumpsters or being abused. It basically says that any parent can drop off their child at a hospital to be turned over to the state with no questions asked. Okay here's the problem. They wanted to intend the law for small children, but they never stated that. Now people are just dumping kids of any age off. In September there were 17 kids abandoned. 17!!! and most of these are teenaged kids. On guy droped of 7 kids ages 1 to 17. How could a parent do that. I could see wanting to give up a baby if you felt that you couldn't take care of it, but how in the heck do you tell your teenager that you don't want them any more and you are giving them away.

Now here's the new twist. A person in Detroit heard of this law and actually brought there 12 (or 13) year old down and dumped them. How crazy is that. There are no questions asked so people are coming from two states away to drop kids.

Now they are trying to get the law changed to be age specific, because it was originally suppose to be for infants. Here is my question. Now that we are seeing that so many parents are abandoning these older kids, shouldn't we just let them. I know it's horrible, but maybe they would be better off in a different home than staying with parents that don't want them.

Okay, I feel better. I just had to get that out.

ErinRNinMaine

I know, I have mixed feelings about that. It's too bad that our system can't even seem to take care of the kids they have now--so what's going to happen if there's a huge influx of new children? Also, it seems like an easy way out for parents who "just don't want to parent anymore". Parenting in hard work! But also I agree with what you said about children being in a better place than where they're not wanted or able to get the attention/love they need to thrive.

It's a stick situation and it's sad to see that people are taking advantage of that law.

lascolaj514

I wonder if some of these people just can't cope with the economic problems they are facing and know they may lose control and hurt these kids. There should be a service to help these families but with the current administrations policies on mental health and all social services in general the money just isn't there. Alot of churches help pick up the slack but there are many people not connected to a church.
So the children suffer. Jackie

Anna_Banana

I wonder if some of these people just can't cope with the economic problems they are facing and know they may lose control and hurt these kids. There should be a service to help these families but with the current administrations policies on mental health and all social services in general the money just isn't there. Alot of churches help pick up the slack but there are many people not connected to a church.
So the children suffer. Jackie

I thought that might be some of the problem, but Nebraska isn't getting hit near a bad as the rest of the country. Also, nebraska's Health and Human Services has pretty high cut offs for state aid for families and a pretty high amount are on government aid. Nebraska if full of private organizations that help families and actually by next summer all foster care in the state will be through private agentcies.

Like I said have such mixed feelings about the whole deal.

tamazinglee

On a brighter side (if you can call it that) - at least parents are using the system. Can you imagine what might happen to these unwanted kids otherwise? We have the safe haven law where I live and still newborns are being found in trash bags, dumpsters, just thrown out like trash. It is so sad.

Theresa35

:noway: This is way too deep for me not to have mixed emotions about so I won't go into all the legistics..BUT...

How can these parents just give away children they have loved and taken care of for 5, 8, or 18 years??? These are the ages of my children and I can't even begin to imagine the mind set of the parent/parents and the emotional turmoil on the kid.

:brokenheart: It's just very sad

Fitness_Chick

Okay this is on the news every day here in Nebraska, and I just need to gripe a little.

Nebraska passed this law called the Safe Haven Law. It was put in effect to protect small children, from being dumped in the streets or dumpsters or being abused. It basically says that any parent can drop off their child at a hospital to be turned over to the state with no questions asked. Okay here's the problem. They wanted to intend the law for small children, but they never stated that. Now people are just dumping kids of any age off. In September there were 17 kids abandoned. 17!!! and most of these are teenaged kids. On guy droped of 7 kids ages 1 to 17. How could a parent do that. I could see wanting to give up a baby if you felt that you couldn't take care of it, but how in the heck do you tell your teenager that you don't want them any more and you are giving them away.

Now here's the new twist. A person in Detroit heard of this law and actually brought there 12 (or 13) year old down and dumped them. How crazy is that. There are no questions asked so people are coming from two states away to drop kids.

Now they are trying to get the law changed to be age specific, because it was originally suppose to be for infants. Here is my question. Now that we are seeing that so many parents are abandoning these older kids, shouldn't we just let them. I know it's horrible, but maybe they would be better off in a different home than staying with parents that don't want them.

Okay, I feel better. I just had to get that out.

Oh I so hear ya Banana! It's gotten bad here....I couldn't BELIEVE when the one guy left all of his kids here .........come ON! But I have to agree....when you wrote, maybe we should let them if they aren't able to care for them.

Several here in Lincoln have come back in remorse for their kids and wanted them back...sheesh it's not like kiddos are puppies But of course with no questions asked....they authorities allow them to take them home. deep sigh

With the economy the way it is...I wonder if that's part of what's adding to all this...trying to feed a large family or even yourself with low funds is NOT an easy task...maybe some are feeling the kids would be better off left in foster care.

BUT I think the lifelong scars of 'the abandonment' would be much worse than scrimpin and barely making it...at least you are with family and to be tossed into a situation where you are old enough to KNOW your parents just left you............ oh how terribly sad sad sad

Ok, now on to a happier place....

but I do see your points...I absolutely do....so many kids just dumped in the hospitals here in the city.....poor parents...poor mixed up kids.....sad all around:huh:

Renae_Nae

If you read the whole story about the 17 kids...he wasn't able to provide for them since their mother died. Yes, it's tragic...but also look at all the stories where parents don't have a way out and can't take care of their kids. If a 12 year old is being dropped off then chances are those parents have done everything or don't care about the kid anyways (which easily leads to abuse). Just because someone says they can't be a parent anymore doesn't mean in any way they are responsible...some times that is the responsible thing to do.

Anna_Banana

If you read the whole story about the 17 kids...he wasn't able to provide for them since their mother died. Yes, it's tragic...but also look at all the stories where parents don't have a way out and can't take care of their kids. If a 12 year old is being dropped off then chances are those parents have done everything or don't care about the kid anyways (which easily leads to abuse). Just because someone says they can't be a parent anymore doesn't mean in any way they are responsible...some times that is the responsible thing to do.

Okay one guy didn't drop all 17 kids. That's just how many got dumped in September. The one guy only contributed 7 (or 9). I totally agree that some times it's the most responsible thing to do. That's why I have mixed emotions. I just couldn't imaging giving up my kids after having them around so long. I think no matter how bad things got I would find a way. I also think so people are looking for a way out and they make excuses why they can't go on.

Anna_Banana

We have the safe haven law where I live and still newborns are being found in trash bags, dumpsters, just thrown out like trash. It is so sad.

I couldn't imagine. This just makes me so sad. My husband and I wanted to have more kids so bad, and we couldn't. And here are people that don't want a baby and they still can. It's just crazy.

ErinRNinMaine

Several here in Lincoln have come back in remorse for their kids and wanted them back...sheesh it's not like kiddos are puppies But of course with no questions asked....they authorities allow them to take them home. deep sigh

Crazy, huh? But I guess they've done studies where they've found that children do "better" in dysfunctional (but not abusive) families than in foster care. I can see it both ways-I'd imagine that no matter how messed up a child's family is, well it is their family for what it's worth. Think of a small child pulled from all that they know only to be placed in a foster situation with other children, or even a not-so-great foster family. I'd think that would be even more traumatic.

Others have said they need programs to help these parents "parent". I couldn't agree more!

Anna_Banana

It's all relative. To you there life may be disfunctional and horrible, but to them it isn't. I totally agree that nobody can be a better mom to there children than their mom. Unless there is a case of abuse or severe neglect.

They have programs that help parents parents. The main problem with them are that the people that don't need them as much (all parents could us them) take them and the parents that really need them don't.

It's kind of like parent teacher conferences. All the parents of the really good kids that don't have any problems show up. And the parents of the kids with behavioral problems and that are struggling don't.

jenn10

Maybe people should think it through alittle more before they start pumping out kids they have no clue how to take care of - I was a very young mom and I never once thought of giving my child up to the system - I always figured i could love her more than a stranger can. I don't have alot of money and we have five kids but I would live in my car with my kids before I would give them up!

There are always options people haven't looked into - there are programs I am just learning about. There are people out there to help- shelters - it may not be your favorite but at least your kids could learn what loyalty and devotion is!

I really think some people just should not breed!

Anna_Banana

I really think some people just should not breed!

I second that.

jamerz3294

I really think some people just should not breed!

I second that.

Amen!

soup78

I really think some people just should not breed!

Very true.

I also wonder why some families want more than 3-4 children. :noway: Are they creating a little cult?! With so many abandoned children in the world, why don't some people stop reproducing and start adopting?! :explode: I have a cousin who has 7, yes 7, children. 3 from his first marriage(all boys), then re-married to inherit another son. Him and his new wife wanted a child together, which I understand, and had to undergo infertility treatments to conceive. They got twin boys, and another boy 9 months later (surprise!). My thing is, if you're not meant to have children why can't you accept it? I'm 29 and don't have any children, yet. I told my mother I was thinking of adopting just the other day and she was distraught. We haven't "tried" to have a baby yet because we're waiting (hopefully) for the right time.....This is a very deep, and personal issue for everyone.

As far as the law goes, it's just ridiculous!
People need to explore all the different avenues available before resorting to abandoning their flesh and blood. Unfortunately, it's the uneducated who don't know what's available and these are the same people who drop their problems onto the rest of us.

jenn10

when i was younger i said i would never have more than two - just replace me and my husband-- well now i have five and it's hard but i wouldn't trade the little buggers!

MFS27

Anna Banana - for you: (read this in the paper today)

Nebraska lawmakers agree on safe-haven age limit

By NATE JENKINS
Associated Press Writer
Published: Monday, Oct. 20, 2008

LINCOLN, Neb. -- Stung by the abandonments of children as old as 17 under Nebraska's brand-new safe-haven law, the governor and lawmakers agreed Monday to narrow the law's broad wording to protect only the parents of newborns from prosecution.

Forty of the Legislature's 49 senators would amend the law so it applies only to infants up to 3 days old, legislative Speaker Mike Flood said at a news conference. The age cap would change the Nebraska law from the most lenient to one of the nation's most restrictive.

Anna_Banana

Yeah, it's been on the radio all day yesterday and today. But it probably won't take effect until the new year. I wonder how many parents will rush to get rid of their older kids before then?

eHarris

I really think some people just should not breed!

I second that.

Amen!

A double Amen for me! I work in cancer therapy so we see lots of families struggling to make it. But I've heard some stories that would make your head spin. I was told by a co-worker who came from another facility....at her old job there was a patient who's family could not even afford to have electricity. The family consisted of Mom and four kids. Everyone was pitching in and trying to help Mom as best as they could because they know how expensive and hard therapy is. Well lo and behold mom comes back and is pregnant again.

I have such mixed feelings about the appropriateness of family size but one thing I'm very sure of is this: If you can't afford electricity and you can barely keep your family fed and clothed....stop having children. Get your tubes tied, get condoms, get a clue...no thats kind of mean ....seriously though ....get realistic.

Anna_Banana

I really think some people just should not breed!

I second that.

Amen!

A double Amen for me! I work in cancer therapy so we see lots of families struggling to make it. But I've heard some stories that would make your head spin. I was told by a co-worker who came from another facility....at her old job there was a patient who's family could not even afford to have electricity. The family consisted of Mom and four kids. Everyone was pitching in and trying to help Mom as best as they could because they know how expensive and hard therapy is. Well lo and behold mom comes back and is pregnant again.

I have such mixed feelings about the appropriateness of family size but one thing I'm very sure of is this: If you can't afford electricity and you can barely keep your family fed and clothed....stop having children. Get your tubes tied, get condoms, get a clue...no thats kind of mean ....seriously though ....get realistic.

I hate to admit it but I agree. I think if you can afford things on your own, you should be able to have as many kids as you want, but once you start depending on the government to pay for things you need to stop. My husband and I have three kids and we work hard and pay for everything from there food to their insurance. I hate working hard and paying taxes so somebody else don't have to be responsible with their breeding program. If you don't have insurance and can't cover the cost of bringing a kid into the world, then think twice about it. I know unforseen things happen and that is fine to get help during those times, but if you are on Medicaid and trying to get pregnant that's crazy. Wait till you can afford your own insurance. If the intire country would do that, taxes might come down.

MFS27

I really think some people just should not breed!

I second that.

Amen!

A double Amen for me! I work in cancer therapy so we see lots of families struggling to make it. But I've heard some stories that would make your head spin. I was told by a co-worker who came from another facility....at her old job there was a patient who's family could not even afford to have electricity. The family consisted of Mom and four kids. Everyone was pitching in and trying to help Mom as best as they could because they know how expensive and hard therapy is. Well lo and behold mom comes back and is pregnant again.

I have such mixed feelings about the appropriateness of family size but one thing I'm very sure of is this: If you can't afford electricity and you can barely keep your family fed and clothed....stop having children. Get your tubes tied, get condoms, get a clue...no thats kind of mean ....seriously though ....get realistic.

I hate to admit it but I agree. I think if you can afford things on your own, you should be able to have as many kids as you want, but once you start depending on the government to pay for things you need to stop. My husband and I have three kids and we work hard and pay for everything from there food to their insurance. I hate working hard and paying taxes so somebody else don't have to be responsible with their breeding program. If you don't have insurance and can't cover the cost of bringing a kid into the world, then think twice about it. I know unforseen things happen and that is fine to get help during those times, but if you are on Medicaid and trying to get pregnant that's crazy. Wait till you can afford your own insurance. If the intire country would do that, taxes might come down.

I agree with you guys as well.... I was on Craigslist one day, reading the want ads, and one guy actually posted something like this "Wanted: Lady to have my baby. Doesn't matter age, weight, etc. I just want to have a baby. You get welfare benefits and I have stable job. Send me a message." I was like oh c'mon! Please, really? My husband said that some men view it as a "notch in the belt" - the more kids they have, the bigger, better, whatever they are. Bunch of rubbish. The ones that suffer are the kids.

Anna_Banana

. The ones that suffer are the kids.

That's what's too bad about all of this