Annoyed!!!

officiallymrswhite

So, I am visiting my parents this weekend for the 4th of July. And they know I am watching what I eat (not only for weight loss purposes, but also due to high cholesterol). They have decided within the first hour of me visiting that I have become obsessed because I turned down some foods (hamburgers, movie theater butter popcorn, and I said I was nervous about going to dinner at a Chinese buffet with the future in-laws). It is very frustrating because I am not "obsessed", but simply conscious of what I eat and how good I feel right now that I want to continue to watch what I eat. I am doing so well and this has really made me frustrated!!! Anyone else experience anything like this? If so, how do you deal with it? I am visiting for another 4 days!! I don't want a comment every time I turn something down, not because it's bad for me, but because I simply do not want it. I am not depriving myself at all, just not interested in certain "unhealthy" foods anymore. Yet they say I am depriving myself.....advice?! Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tauny78

Obviously, if you're not feeling deprived, then you're not depriving yourself, sheesh people! LOL You are the only one who can decide if you're deprived, as long as you're not starving yourself. So good for you for turning all those not so healthy foods down, especially on a holiday weekend. I can't say how you should handle all the comments, other than just politely explain it's your choice. I am very fortunate that my family has always supported me. Although, my own mother always over does it on the food for get togethers. But she never pressures me to eat or chastises me for turning anything down. So stick with it! Be strong and the weekend will be over soon! Good luck

Kat5343

I'm with you. My husband is always trying to feed chocolate or something high in carbs...He'll say on won't hurt you...but to me, I can't eat just one and if eat chocolate I will end up binging....I have told him this and subconsciously I think he is insecure because he is overweight and me losing eight intimidates him...

tamsgenie2003

I'm sorry you have to deal with that... just remember you know whats best for your body not them. Have to say that is amazing that you have the willpower to turn down those certain foods... me not so much. Good luck with the rest with the rest of your visit.

skinnyminimoni

My mom and stepdad do the same thing!! Ever since I started eating better and exercising they've stocked the house with junk food and started bringing home pizza and fried chicken--stuff they NEVER brought home before! It makes me so mad :explode:

lockermama

You're not obsessed, you're goal-oriented! Hang in there...

hemlock2010

I've noticed the same thing. If a thin person turns down an offer of food, s/he is a picky eater and gets a reputation for being too particular (don't know if that word means the same thing everywhere, but where I'm from, it means picky and thinking she is too good for certain things). If a fat person turns down an offer of food, she is dangerously obsessed with weight loss and halfway to anorexic.

In the midwest (where I'm from) there is no way to win this, and parents can be the hardest to deal with b/c you don't want to hurt their feelings. At age 46, I now feel old enough to say no (I mean no thank you, of course!) when people offer me food I don't want. I'm polite about it: "Oh, it looks wonderful, but I couldn't eat a bite! No, I really couldn't. No, thank you, not even a tiny bit. No, I really couldn't." I just keep saying it and smiling and saying it again and smiling some more.

I'm sure many calories are burned in the act of saying no to food. :-)

2SandyCheeks

You have every right to feel annoyed. Stick to your guns and know that you're doing the right thing for yourself.

Having said that...I do wonder about this...In many families food equals love and acceptance. Did your family have a habit of rewarding you with food when you were a child? or did your parents use food to try to heal some emotional pain? or did your mom think that making your favorite dish was a good way to show you that she loved you? If so, they are probably trying to figure out how to relate to the "new" you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be annoyed, but maybe if you can figure out why they are behaving this way, you might be better equipped to deal with their attitudes.


By the way, one of the ways that I deal with going to restaurants is to plan ahead. Many places have their menus online, so I pull up the menu before I leave the house and plan ahead for what I'll be eating. If there's nothing on the menu that works for my diet, then I suggest a different place to eat.

You're doing a good thing for yourself! Congratulations!

hemlock2010

My mom and stepdad do the same thing!! Ever since I started eating better and exercising they've stocked the house with junk food and started bringing home pizza and fried chicken--stuff they NEVER brought home before! It makes me so mad :explode:

As a mom with a grown up daughter about your age, let me say in their defense that they may not be doing this to sabotage you. They may just finally have realized that you're grown up enough to make your own food choices (and follow through with them!), and they might be enjoying what it feels like to not be responsible for kid nutrition any more.

I kind of did this a little bit when my daughter started college (before I started MFP). We had way, way, WAY more fast food that year than EVER before, just because I was reveling in not having to set an example.

Then I got my head on straight and found MFP, but that's another story. :-)

It's sort of weird for the parents to suddenly realize that your child is a grown up person with her own ideas of how to live. Nice, but weird.

justimogen

If people push, I just explain to them that I am being more careful about how I "spend" my calories. I don't want to waste them on something I don't particularly want. This will allow me to splurge on something I'd like to eat later.

rodneyderrick

So, I am visiting my parents this weekend for the 4th of July. And they know I am watching what I eat (not only for weight loss purposes, but also due to high cholesterol). They have decided within the first hour of me visiting that I have become obsessed because I turned down some foods (hamburgers, movie theater butter popcorn, and I said I was nervous about going to dinner at a Chinese buffet with the future in-laws). It is very frustrating because I am not "obsessed", but simply conscious of what I eat and how good I feel right now that I want to continue to watch what I eat. I am doing so well and this has really made me frustrated!!! Anyone else experience anything like this? If so, how do you deal with it? I am visiting for another 4 days!! I don't want a comment every time I turn something down, not because it's bad for me, but because I simply do not want it. I am not depriving myself at all, just not interested in certain "unhealthy" foods anymore. Yet they say I am depriving myself.....advice?! Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's important to learn how to balance your diet and physical activities, so you can enjoy life with your family. By not eating with your family, it's like you're putting up a wall, and everybody feels a little uncomfortable approaching you about food. When the family comes together in a group, food is one of the main attractions of the gathering; and when you're not eating, your family feels as if you're standing on the outside of the circle. This is why people should stick with this is because every time a husband or a wife hops from one diet plan to the next he or she takes the family on another failed ride. It gets tedious. This is a special weekend with your family, and it's important that you learn how to incorporate this weekend into your nutritional plan without throwing it all down the drain and aggravating family and friends at the same time.

Yesterday, my company had some chocolate donuts in the basement, and I went downstairs, grabbed one, and ate it. Nevertheless, when I started to eat it, a young woman asked, "Won't that mess up your diet?" I simply replied. "I've never been on a diet." The reason that I say that is because a diet is something that you usually start and finish at some point. If I ate a hot link on Monday, that cannot undo all the work I've done. The foods that I eat for the 4th will fall within my daily calorie limit, but they may not be the healthiest. When Tuesday hits, it's back to business. I eat with my family, even if that means I have to skip an earlier meal to do it.