Joke

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Anna_Banana
Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
It was opening night at the California Theater and the Amazing Claude" was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famous hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of this audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations." He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch... "

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming from its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch.

Suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"****!" said the hypnotist.

It took three weeks to clean up the theater

Replies

  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
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    It was opening night at the California Theater and the Amazing Claude" was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famous hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of this audience."

    The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations." He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch... "

    The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming from its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch.

    Suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

    "****!" said the hypnotist.

    It took three weeks to clean up the theater
  • Poison5119
    Poison5119 Posts: 1,460 Member
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    O


    M


    G


    That was funny.
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • soup78
    soup78 Posts: 667 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    YES! A good one I'm stealing to tell all my friends! :devil: :bigsmile:

    Thanks! :drinker:
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :drinker:
  • chrissyh
    chrissyh Posts: 8,235 Member
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    now that's funny!
  • jamerz3294
    jamerz3294 Posts: 1,824 Member
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    The 7 Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they are the 7 Dwarfs,
    they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
    Grumpy leads the pack.

    'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

    Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf
    nuns in Rome?'

    The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a
    moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome

    In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

    Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

    Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all
    of Europe?'

    The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers,
    'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe

    This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

    Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

    Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns
    anywhere in the world?'

    The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my
    son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

    The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing,
    pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin
    chanting......
    'Grumpy s*****d a penguin!'
    'Grumpy s*****d a penguin!'
  • Fab140
    Fab140 Posts: 1,976 Member
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    The 7 Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they are the 7 Dwarfs,
    they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope.
    Grumpy leads the pack.

    'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

    Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf
    nuns in Rome?'

    The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a
    moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome

    In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

    Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

    Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all
    of Europe?'

    The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers,
    'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe

    This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

    Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

    Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns
    anywhere in the world?'

    The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my
    son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

    The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing,
    pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin
    chanting......
    'Grumpy s*****d a penguin!'
    'Grumpy s*****d a penguin!'

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
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    Lol jamerz. I heard that a long time ago, but forgot it. I'm going to tell that to the UPS guy tomorrow.:bigsmile:

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