Lack of parental support?

Marianna194

Hi everyone,

I'm new here (just signed up) and I'm having a really hard time with weightloss. I started exercising and eating well this summer (about 2 weeks ago) and I've since gone down about 2 pounds or so (194 to 192-192.5; I'm 5''3). The problem is my family. I'm eighteen so I still live at home, and I porbably will for awhile. I've been overweight since I was a kid, and dieting since the ffth grade- on and off of course. Every summer I go on a major weight loss kick, and this summer, for the first time, my dad actually got involved and encouraged me! I was so excited because it was the first time my family was wever concious of my attempts. I figured their knowledge of my change of diet would make things easier, but things have only gtten worse. See, I managed to lose some weight on my own, but recently I was complaining that it's been taking a long time to lose just one pound (my weight loss results fluctuate each day). My dad mentioned thatm aybe it was because even thoguh I ate well, I still eat large portions, which is true. The thing is I just don't have the knowledge or understanding or even ability to limit myself, because as much as i try, i still feel hungry. So he said he'd help me; he told me whenever I'm hungry i should go tell him, and he'd help me prepare food that was healthry and good for me.

Sounds perfect right? Well the next day I went nad asked him to help me make something helathy and he got annoyed, telling me to go make it myself. I got really upset because I finally thought I was going to have support, but it all turned out to be untrue. So I went to my mom instead and asked her to make me some chicken, since I don't really know how to cook more complicated dishes like that. She gave me a hard time about it, insisting that i should wash the chicken myself first, even though she KNOWS I've never done that before and don't know how. I don't know what to do- they are really my only means and they refuse to help.

Anyways, I got so depressed that I just saotaged my whole diet- if only to spite them. I know it sounds childish, but please understand that I've been trying for eight long years to get thinner and healthier, and every attempt I made was riddled with failure. That I've spent nights crying about my weight and my lack of friends at school becasue of it, even thoguht I was only eleven years old. Please know that I was finally ecstatic to know that this time, my efforts would be rewarded because I had support, but the second I went in for that support, they let me down. The wearisome part of it all is that in theory, they are ready to help. They make all these big and wonderful plans about eating helathy, and then they just ignore them all the second I ask them to put them in action. My family is just like that; all talk and no action. And I truly beleive losing weight is a family affair. It's not as if I'm not doing my part! I exercise and I eat healthy snacks, but I just need help when it comes to really changing my lifestyle, I need help. Is that really so wrong? I've serached far and wide in libraries, Bookstores and on the internet, and no plann has ever worked for me. All I need is some longterm support and help.I know the basics; eat frut, whole grains protein etc, but that's not enough...i need something personlized or specific becasue I just can't handle it anymore.

Now my dad has the nerve to tell me tha sabotaging my diet is criminal adfter the workI've put into it, but he just doesn't understand that it's because of their lack of support that I can't continue. My mother simply isn't the type of person you can talk to so there's no sense in speaking to her. More than that, my mom purposely puts out bread and pasta and unhealthy food for dinner or just leaves it lying around and offers to serve it for food, even though she knows I need to stay away from it. As a "joke", she says, "Oh, Marianna can't have any of that; she's on a diet. But it doesn't mean we should deprive ourselves of it." And even though the rest of my family is alson in dire need to lose weight, she encorages it. I understand that I can't force her or anyone else to lose weight, but she could at least be more tactful about it- she goes about it as if what I'm doing is easy and as if I can stand the teasing, even though I just CAN'T.

See, my parents are restricting my food so much- they get disappointed if i have any or more than a very little amount of carbs for example. Even though you should hae carbs in your diet. Like the other day, I had two pwices of The Laughing Cow Chheese, totaling 70 alories. My dad saw the wrappers and reprimanded me, even though I didn't think there was anything wrong with having some...it's not like I ate the whole box...He told me I was only cheating myself. Today my mother brought out veggie burgers and she didn't even offer me one- even thoguh she knows I love them and knows that they're healthy. She just made three- enough for my dd, sister, and grandmother. I was completely ignored. Later I was so mad at her that I couldnt speak to her (that inconsideration mixed with the teasing and the chicken incident was too much for me) and she got angry with me, saying that I was being stupid and crazy.

They see it as a diet, not a healthy lifestyle. I don't know what to do...but some support, any support would me so appreciated. I'm so lost, and I really do want to lose weight, but they're just not helping...And I just can't do it on my own. I've tried for years to do it, but I can't...:sad:

athaliah

Maybe you should ask if they can help you learn how to cook for yourself.

Your old enough that you will need these cooking skills for later so ask for them an experiment. Gotta be polite but tell them that your trying to make new habits that you want to have last the rest of your life. Maybe make some points by showing that that you want to be adult enough to not have them make all your choices for you and learn how to take some responsibility for your own way in the future in regards to food.

Ask them for two week long project ( and try to turn into longer as long as you get results. )
Figure out how much they spend on you for food in two weeks and ask for that you can buy your own groceries with that amount and to have a small place in the refrigerator and cupboards to keep your own food. Kept it separate from the others and that you will be taking care of what you eat on your own those two weeks without their help.

Go to them with a "Plan" Plan out your own healthy food choices and the cost of how much to eat healty for those 2 weeks. Figure out how much chicken, turkey, snacks and veggies you need for those two weeks.
Show them the printouts with the nutrition for your food for those two weeks with each day planned out beforehand.

Plan your food for you with three meals and 2 planned snacks making it that you eat every 3-4 hours. This should make sure that you never get ravenous hungry like in the past.

Then during the 2 weeks, learn how to roast your own chicken and veggies, learn to portion your meals out with little containers for each meal. Freeze some of them ahead of time. . Eat with the family but make your own food, even if you have to just microwave your meals and then sit down with them for dinner.

And just so you know, Its always a lot easier to stick with things if you plan ahead what your going to eat instead of running around at the last minute making bad choices. Your learning all the same things that everyone else here is learning. How to make food work for you, the right way.