Obese children -- a question for them what have kids

SecretlyBatwoman

Let me start by saying I have no kids and thus no concept of what being a parent to something other than a dog is like.

I teach bassoon lessons to two kids in 8th grade. We had an end-of-term recital a few weeks ago of about a dozen children aged 12-15 who are beginners at either oboe or bassoon. While I was going through the photos this weekend I noticed that over half the kids were severely overweight or obese. I didn't notice at the recital because I was too busy being ridiculously smug that my kids sounded so good. I'm not talking a little chubby, I mean seriously worryingly obese. Many of them had slim parents and siblings, so I don't think it's a problem with the kids being served crap food at home.

My question to parents is this: Do you think the parents know that their kids are that obese and just can't think of a way to approach the problem without crushing their children's self-esteem? Or is it that they think it's not a big deal/their kid is not really that overweight?

I am seriously upset about it. One little girl looked to be in her 30's already.

CraftyGirl4

The kids who are overweight know. They know they don't look like their slim family, siblings and friends at school. The biggest challenge with having an overweight child is balancing how to help them slim down without damaging their self esteem. Generally with a child, your goal is to maintain their current weight until they grow taller and grow into the weight.

KourtneyP83

Hmm..I am a teacher and I find looking at my kids that they tend to follow the pattern of their parents. Most of my overweight children have overweight parents and in that case I think it is bad choices of food. Also this day and age, most kids aren't outside like they used to be - a lot of tv and video games. I have a fear of my children being overweight because I always was as a child and I think it's something that's harder to correct than if you never let it happen, so I watch what they eat and let them play outside a lot.

icerose137

The single greatest leading cause for childhood obesity is actually sugary drinks. Soda, fruit juice, punch, energy drinks, ect. If you are worried about this problem, perhaps pass an informational flyer to the parents, or make it a class challenge. That as a group they'll forego sugary drinks for the next X amount of time. Make sure to emphasise that juice even 100% juice counts as a sugary drink because all the fiber has been stripped out leaving only toxic fructose. Artificial sweeteners don't cut it, there have been studies that have proven it increases stomach circumference by as much as 70%! Make it a fun challenge. If you serve refreshments, serve cut up fruits and veggies with water or herbal tea sweetened with stevia. Our volley ball team in highschool did this with great success.

trud72

the kids know they are big trust me...but tend to dismiss it...take the bulling and still eat cr@p!
the parents(most of them) can't see it till it's too late and just dont know how to get it sorted! It's a real shame as the kids will just turn out bigger than they are now and pass it on tho thier kids later on...
it's all about knowledge not for the kids but for the parents and the schools too on what they serve up as school dinners but do not get me started on that one!:explode: GRRRRRR

SpaceMarkus

I have an overweight 4-yr old nephew. His grandmother is actually a Beachbody Coach like myself, but for some reason can't see that he's overweight. She continues to say he has "baby fat", which some believe can exist all the way up into your 20's.

I was also severely obese when I was younger. When I graduated high school I was 265. I knew I was "fat" but had no concept of obesity or what really constituted it. My parents knew I was fat but it wasn't really anything we thought about or thought we should fix. That was about 10 years ago, though.

Since then a lot more knowledge about health and nutrition has come out (just look at the new menus at McD's and such). Unfortunately, most parents I know "don't have time" to cook healthy, or "can't afford" to eat well so they go for these quick fixes. I've seen my nephew sit and devour an entire Taco Bell burrito in one sitting.

Obesity, especially in children, is a HORRIBLE trend in this country. I firmly believe it has to begin with the parents. If the kids see the parents eat healthy and exercise, they'll want to as well. If they see their parents rocking a pop tart for breakfast, a big bowl of pasta at dinner, then ice cream for dessert all while watching TV all night, that's the life they'll probably grow into.

AngieM76

My youngest child is overweight and its really hard on me. And at this point, I dont know what to do. Any help would be appreciated. He does not live with me full time. He splits his time between my house and his dads. I have tried numerous times to talk to his dad and his grandma about this but they continue to feed him the unhealthy choices. I feel like he eats well at my house and then goes back to his dads and the pattern continues. I dont know what to do anymore.

Navie42

That's not an indicator of food being served at home. My mom, as wonderful as she is, was never a cook. She never prepared meals from scratch, nor were they nutritionally balanced. We always had snack food in the house as well. I was overweight most of my childhood as a result, whilst my mom, dad, and two brothers were all skinny.

As a PP said, fat kids know they are fat and, if they should happen to forget that for even a second, they have their wonderful little snot-nosed peers to remind them. I think it's a matter of not wanting to crush self esteem, although I don't think many would have much to begin with. My doctor told me I needed to lose, and she said it very bluntly. I lost and became average weight in time for high school.

I think parents need to take responsibility for their families well being. I have a daughter who is almost a year, I've learned to cook for her benefit, and have started off right by making her baby food from day 1. She will grow up with healthy meals and, hopefully, a desire to be physically active. And a mother who can be active with her ^_^

Millie77

I feel so bad for the kids that are overweight. They know they are different. They can't play and run as much as other kids. I think some of it is the parents giving in to everything the kids want, so they won't throw fits. I've always had self esteem issues, so with my girls, I will never say to them they need to watch their weight, or they are overweight, (they aren't anyway), but I will instead tell them that they can't have all the junk food because it's not healthy, not because it will make them fat. Kind of hard since I have SO much weight to lose, but I don't want them to end up like me, so it gives me extra incentive to preach on choosing healthy foods, rather than junk.

boomboom011

i think the best way to handle this situation is for the parents to lead by example. I personally have no one to blame but myself if my daughter is polishing off a bag of hot cheetos since I am the one that does the grocery shopping.

Ive noticed my daughter has been getting a little lazy and since she is 11 her little belly is getting a bit chunky so i told made a deal with her that we would make changes like not drinking our calories (which is something I do already) but that way she doesnt feel like she is alone. We went grocery shopping and she asked for all kinds of fruit and i bought whatever fruit she wanted. I said no to the chips & ice cream. I been taking them swimming so she can get some activity and im hoping if its not 10000 degrees tonight we will go for a bike ride. I sneak it in by telling her i want some mommy daughter time. Which I do! But she doesnt even realize my other motive. You gotta make it fun for them.

We now will have ice cream once a week. Instead of having it in the house for constant grazing. A treat once a week is now the plan.

daddyssunshyne

It does not help that our schools serve crap for meals either. High sugar and carb content meals. So, income may play a role. If the family gets free or reduced school meals, and they have to eat what is available at school. Seriously, the healthiest choice I see on our school menu is PB&J (high fat) and yogurt. I remember in high school, having to take napkins to the pizza and blot up all the nasty greese sitting on the top, visibly above the actual toppings. I know there is some grand movement to get healthier choices in our schools, but I am sure it is a long way down the pipeline.

Sarah

jackiebo

Before I retired I was a school nurse, and tried to get a program started for HS kids on healthy diets and weight loss. It was voluntary, and I was trying to lose weight myself (re-run). These kids were motivated, but were virtually helpless in getting cooperation at home. Their parents had no knowledge of nutrition and healthy eating. One girl told me that her mother said that healthy eating was too expensive. My program wasn't too successful.

One of the problems these days is processed food and sugary drinks. Look at the aisles in the grocery stores--junk food, soda pop and "energy drinks", cereals are loaded with high fructose corn syrup. Look at the advertising that fast food places put out there, Ronald McDonald gets into kids' heads when they're 3 years old. Sugar and fat--it's really harming our kids, and will show up as diabetes, high blood pressure before they're time.

Good luck with your weight loss journey, it's tough but so worth it.

TeamLeela

bump for later. i would love to read all the comments later.

Benji49

As a parent of 2 boys who are both overweight, I can tell you that yes the parents know about it.

When you are raising teenagers you have to pick your battles unless you want your home to become a war zone. I don't have junk food in my house very often. But, I work full time, always have, and when they reach the age where they drive and are home after school alone you can't really control what they eat.

With my oldest he came to the realization himself at about 17 that he needed to lose weight. It helped with him that when he started to lose it he started also to gain height. He is now almost 20 and while he will never be a small man because of his build, he does watch what he eats - and he is still on great terms with his dad and me and wil open up to us about anything. Home is still a place he feels comfortable.

Unfortunately anyone with kids knows that 2 children in the same family are usually entirely different personalities. My youngest at 17 can't see what the big deal is. He has high self esteem, is well liked by his peers and his teachers and he isn't willing to give up his chips and pop so that everyone can be happy with his weight. I know for a fact that he eats fast food after school and then sits and eats supper with us. The more I try and discuss it with him the more defensive he becomes. As I don't want him to get frustrated and pack up and leave - I want him to finish grade 12 and go on to University - so I'm leaving the weight issue alone for now.

As a volunteer camp leader for many years I've seen every different way that parents feed their children. The parents who control every morsel that goes into their kids mouths and have the slimmest most well nourished kids don't necessarily have the healthiest ones. Those are usually the ones you find bingeing in the camp kitchen at midnight.

Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs out there. If you want to do something for the kids that you teach make sure that you introduce them to healthy snacks when they are with you. Praise them for their musical abilities and treat them with the respect they deserve.

bcattoes

I also find the number of obese children to be alarming. Being a parent myself to 2 grown children I just don't understand how parents let their children get so overweight. When I had children was probably the first time I really thought about nutrition because it was the first time I was responsible for someone else. When I was in school there were only a handful of children that were overweight. When my children were in school the number was much larger, and now I think more than half of the children are obese in our area. I don't know if it's a lack of caring or disipline on the parents part or just a complete lack of nutritional knowledge. When I first started reading these MFP boards I was shocked at how many people didn't really have a basic knowledge of nutrition. I don't know what the answer is, but it seems logical that if a parent has a child who is gaining weight and they don't know how to stop or control it tehmselves that they would seek help from a doctor or nutritionist, just as they would with any other medical problem.

keiraev

I teach and I have learnt that despite being given healthy food at home, they can be very sneaky and will spend their money on sweets and cakes.

One parent even said to me recently that she couldn't understand why one of her children was putting on weight until she realised that the child was spending his bus fare on donuts and energy drinks, and walking home instead! I still think if you take your eye off the ball they can eat all sorts so it is best to be extra vigilant.

When I was growing up- sweets weren't banned but we could only have them on a Saturday, and cookies/cakes were definitely given in moderation. I think as well if things are banned completely children are more likely to eat in secret.

Benji49

It does not help that our schools serve crap for meals either. High sugar and carb content meals. So, income may play a role. If the family gets free or reduced school meals, and they have to eat what is available at school. Seriously, the healthiest choice I see on our school menu is PB&J (high fat) and yogurt. I remember in high school, having to take napkins to the pizza and blot up all the nasty greese sitting on the top, visibly above the actual toppings. I know there is some grand movement to get healthier choices in our schools, but I am sure it is a long way down the pipeline.

Sarah

My sons schools actually banned pop and fattening foods from their school about 5 years ago. The vending machines only have water and healthy snacks in them. The cafeteria has a strict list of what it can and can't serve. The result was -- this is a junior/senior high school (gr 9-12) - they went elsewhere at lunch time to get what they wanted to eat. The school was able to control the gr 9 students but once they reach high school age they go where they want in their free time.

VeganGal84

I'm a non-parent and have nothing to add to this conversation.

But, off-topic... I play the bassoon! :-)

k8edge

I was "husky" as a child. I wouldn't say obese... but I slimmed out when I started sports in middle school. Weight has always been an issue for me. Some kids are naturally inclined to being heavy. Genetics... whatever. But the rest of the kids... I wonder what they are eating and how much physical activity they are getting.

I truly believe that these 3 things.

1) Kids need to get up and move. As a child I was deposited out the front door in the morning and told to entertain myself. I didn't play video games, watch tv, or sit around all day. I played tag, jumped rope, and rode my bike to my friends houses. Children do not MOVE enough.
2. "Convenience" food has led to obesity in children and adults. Think about it... Isn't it easier to buy the food that you zap in the microwave, buy something packaged and throw it in a pot, and swing through that fast food restaurant for a "quick" dinner. The thing is those foods are cheap/easy for a reason. I didn't know that being cheap and easy was the norm... ba doom chi! Before pre packaged food and fast food... American's ate home cooked meals. Real food. It was all down hill as we became a fast food nation.
3. This goes to food as well... I think the hormones that meat packing companies inject into beef/poultery is leading to obesity in children. Think about it. The company injects hormones into a chicken to make it larger and grow faster. The chicken is obese. We then eat that chicken therefore consuming some of those hormones. There is scientific research behind this. And it makes sense.

This may seem harsh but there is evidence behind it.
Food Inc.
Fast Food Nation
Super Size Me
Those are three movies that I suggest everyone watches...

Very interesting stuff...

tmt2003

Thin does not = healthy. I have been overweight my whole life. I have a cousin who is 6 months older than me and who was always rail thin. All she ate was junk fool. No fruits, no veggies, no water. I am talking EVER. Of course as she has gotten older it has started to catch up with her a little, still within "normal" weight or slightly above (I am 100 overweight). She has 3 kids, he oldest who is very overweight, as a toddler she once dropped him off at my sister's to babysit him, with a brown bag lunch. When my sister opened the bag, there was a 1lb bag of m&ms inside!!! That's it! That is what she grew up eating - candy, chips and fast-food. That is what she feeds her kids. I don't know, I guess it's by luck or something that her other 2 aren't overweight. I feel sorry for the oldest (now 10) because I know what it is like to be an overweight child and it sucks. She doesn't offer healthy options, make healthy food (even a fruit plate!!), or lead by example. I DO think that it is a form of child abuse. This woman is a NURSE, BTW. She would make fun of her SIL and the fact that her niece gobbled up things like carrots, olives and green beans and roll her eyes when the ped suggested healthier foods for her ds.
My kid OTOH have gotten a good start with good genes on my DHs side. I try to keep things relatively healthy, they are thin and active and I am bound and determined to keep it that way. I do ot want them to go through their lives like me: overweight, low self esteem, yo- yo dieting. I consider it a very important aspect of parenting: raising HEALTHY kids.

FWIW: my mom did the best she could, she is overweight too. We did have healthy options, maybe not as often as we should have, but I just ate a lot and was never very active. That's when you run into things like someone else said balancing getting fit/ active and a kids fragile self esteem. My mom worked a lot and was not active enough to show by example - it was something she was struggling with to. I hope to overcome that to help my kids, and break the cycle!

k8edge

[/quote]

My sons schools actually banned pop and fattening foods from their school about 5 years ago. The vending machines only have water and healthy snacks in them. The cafeteria has a strict list of what it can and can't serve. The result was -- this is a junior/senior high school (gr 9-12) - they went elsewhere at lunch time to get what they wanted to eat. The school was able to control the gr 9 students but once they reach high school age they go where they want in their free time.
[/quote]

The thing about this is it doesn't control what kids bring in their lunch boxes.

Other than that... I think it is awesome that you sons school now has these new healthy options in place. Why do kids need pop at school? Or candy? If they aren't given the options then they really do not even know what they are missing.

Benji49

I also find the number of obese children to be alarming. Being a parent myself to 2 grown children I just don't understand how parents let their children get so overweight. When I had children was probably the first time I really thought about nutrition because it was the first time I was responsible for someone else. When I was in school there were only a handful of children that were overweight. When my children were in school the number was much larger, and now I think more than half of the children are obese in our area. I don't know if it's a lack of caring or disipline on the parents part or just a complete lack of nutritional knowledge. When I first started reading these MFP boards I was shocked at how many people didn't really have a basic knowledge of nutrition. I don't know what the answer is, but it seems logical that if a parent has a child who is gaining weight and they don't know how to stop or control it tehmselves that they would seek help from a doctor or nutritionist, just as they would with any other medical problem.

The parents aren't the only ones that need to be coached. I left my son in the care of his grandmother - slim, well educated, well dressed, loved her grandson. I got home earlier then she thought I would and I found her with COKE in a sippy cup feeding him! That is one battle I won (as far as I know but then you can't breathe the same air as you child 24 -7) and you should be able to trust someone to pick up the slack when you can't be there.

End6ame

My mom, as wonderful as she is, was never a cook. She never prepared meals from scratch, nor were they nutritionally balanced. We always had snack food in the house as well

This was exactly my childhood. Add to that, that my favorite beverage was pop/soda and my favorite activity was video games and it is quite obvious why I was an obese child. Once you are in that pattern and mindset that food comes from boxes, it is difficult to break. I am now 26 and am successfully reversing the years of damage. The funny thing is that even at my largest (262lbs, 5’11’’) my mom would say that I was not fat. I would say “Mom, I am clinically obese” and her reply would be “oh, you look fine.”

Now I have a 2 year old and a 1 month old and my wife and I are making a deliberate effort to cook from scratch and feed them nutritional balanced meals. We seldom travel down isles in the grocery store any more unless we need something specific like condiments, or cooking ingredients, everything else comes from the perimeter. Shopping like this is funny, because when my wife’s parents come over they look in the fridge and freezer and see only meats, dairy, fruits, vegetables and water and comment that we have nothing to eat or drink in the house. lol.

My 2 year old loves to be active, so we are encourage her in that as well with trips to the park, lake, playground etc… She will be taking her first ballet class today too because she loves to dance. My wife and I are also trying to set the example by taking up more active hobbies (although Istill like my video games, I play them much less now) like working out together, we will be doing a Warrior Dash in June 2012, hiking, camping, and we plan to start mountain biking and rock climbing.

I think it is important that “fun” be their only motivation right now, I don’t want pre-teen children worrying about calories and exercise. But as they get older and can understand, I think it is important that they learn, the how’s and why’s behind nutrition and exercise. Without the understanding component, once they grow out of these activities and are on their own, they run a much larger risk of becoming unhealthy and obese later in life. You see this all the time with high school football players; they are in great shape their entire life until they stop playing football.

So that is our approach anyways.

Benji49

I was "husky" as a child. I wouldn't say obese... but I slimmed out when I started sports in middle school. Weight has always been an issue for me. Some kids are naturally inclined to being heavy. Genetics... whatever. But the rest of the kids... I wonder what they are eating and how much physical activity they are getting.

I truly believe that these 3 things.

1) Kids need to get up and move. As a child I was deposited out the front door in the morning and told to entertain myself. I didn't play video games, watch tv, or sit around all day. I played tag, jumped rope, and rode my bike to my friends houses. Children do not MOVE enough.
2. "Convenience" food has led to obesity in children and adults. Think about it... Isn't it easier to buy the food that you zap in the microwave, buy something packaged and throw it in a pot, and swing through that fast food restaurant for a "quick" dinner. The thing is those foods are cheap/easy for a reason. I didn't know that being cheap and easy was the norm... ba doom chi! Before pre packaged food and fast food... American's ate home cooked meals. Real food. It was all down hill as we became a fast food nation.
3. This goes to food as well... I think the hormones that meat packing companies inject into beef/poultery is leading to obesity in children. Think about it. The company injects hormones into a chicken to make it larger and grow faster. The chicken is obese. We then eat that chicken therefore consuming some of those hormones. There is scientific research behind this. And it makes sense.

This may seem harsh but there is evidence behind it.
Food Inc.
Fast Food Nation
Super Size Me
Those are three movies that I suggest everyone watches...

Very interesting stuff...

I agree totally. I'm amazed at the number of people who can't cook unless it comes prepared with microwave instructions.

megz4987

Nowadays, kids aren't going outside to play like we used to. It's video games and TV. When I was younger, I had a time limit I could play video games and if my mom thought I was being lazy, she kicked me out of the house to go play. The parents might be in denial or they just think they'll grow into it when they hit puberty Weight is a tough subject, even with kids.You could say one thing and you might think it was worded perfectly and nicely but it transfers into their mind as rude, embarrassing and they get angry with you over it.

I dont really know what to tell you that would help. I was obese in High School (any other time I was fairly thin) and I would have preferred no one told me I was fat. I was always outgoing (but still shy) and that killed me. I didn't know I was fat but after that I was overly aware.

Benji49

My sons schools actually banned pop and fattening foods from their school about 5 years ago. The vending machines only have water and healthy snacks in them. The cafeteria has a strict list of what it can and can't serve. The result was -- this is a junior/senior high school (gr 9-12) - they went elsewhere at lunch time to get what they wanted to eat. The school was able to control the gr 9 students but once they reach high school age they go where they want in their free time.
[/quote]

The thing about this is it doesn't control what kids bring in their lunch boxes.

Other than that... I think it is awesome that you sons school now has these new healthy options in place. Why do kids need pop at school? Or candy? If they aren't given the options then they really do not even know what they are missing.
[/quote]

I agree - and maybe once the elementary kids get up to high school level they will be used to it and will eat what is offered to them. When it first came in at the high school I think the kids looked on it as a punishment of some sort and rebelled big time.

circusmom

bump

keiraev

Nowadays, kids aren't going outside to play like we used to. It's video games and TV.

So true.

fionarama

Unfortunately I think parents are in that "perfect" stage of love, a bit like when you fall in love with your partner and you go through that phase of thinking they are absolutely perfect. You love everything about them, even their fat.
I try to educate my daughter the relationship between eating and exercise, rather than trying to stop her eating. So we may have an ice cream but it will be incorporated with a long walk. That kind of thing. I lead by example by going to the gym and telling her I exercise.
Its hard for parents. If you're both working its hard to exercise with your kids during the week for instance. And then the weekend comes which for adults and children means loosening up eating, having a McDonalds treat etc.
But I think the advise definitely has to be to encourage kids to be active, thats great if they are good at music but they still need to be doing a sport at school for instance.

SecretlyBatwoman

I don't know the other kids who performed. These are just once a week private lessons, not through a school or a class. It was arranged by my own childhood teacher who invited any of her former students who teach to bring their students and show off. So arranging a group project for all of us to try to be healthy is not really possible.

I really didn't think about how much time kids spend away from home. Now that I think of it, I play in a student-teacher orchestra during the school year and when we have a break in the night, they sell the kids cookies, candy and chips and sodas. The justification, of course, is that we need to raise money to stay around and this was a good way to make a little extra. I'm going to try to talk to them about at least offering a healthy alternative, even if the kids don't take it. I'll even volunteer to bring in the healthy foods. I understand these are 4 hour rehearsals and they run late, but I don't think getting these kids wired on sugar and caffeine is the best way to get them to pay attention.

One of my students really really looks up to me in the way only a 13-year-old girl can. Her mom says that I'm all she talks about all week and she spends an hour getting ready for each lesson to make sure she looks cool (I wish she spent so much time practicing!) So when, after a year of lessons, I started to lose weight, she asked me for healthy eating tips. Never been so proud. Not "diet help" or "how can I lose weight fast" but "how can I stop eating junk food when healthy food tastet s so bad?"

And I know kids can tell when they are at all different from their peers. I just don't really think that at that age they have the tools to help themselves. I know at 14 I thought that when you want to lose weight, you stop eating entirely.

sassylilmama

interested in all the responses, so many different vies on this subject