When your spouse might be insecure...

SarahofTwins

I know men don't like to express their feelings as much however I'm wondering if my spouse has felt insecure or jealous because I've lost a lot of weight....

He started working out again and apparently tries to flex around me more. Plus when we watch a tv show he likes to point out that I think some guy is hot or looks good. I'm thinking "seriously???" lol I don't even say anything to make him think that....he just likes to assume. Plus I'm busy with our twins or son, on top of exercising, cleaning, and everything else. I'm literally super mom. I asked him if he was jealous but he laughs and says no. I told him I fell in love with him because of who he is and not what he wants to be (ripped I think) but I'm supportive in whatever decisions he wants to make.

I try to say "I love you, you're handsome, lets go out on more dates, etc."
I guess I'm wondering what you might say to your partner when they feel like that? ...

Just_Bethy

First..I am no good at the supportive thing with men..I have been married 15 years...I am in the "Knock your crap off" stage...lol

Second..WOW You are doing incredible!!! 74lbs is amazing! Don't let anyone make you think otherwise! It took a lot of strength to do what you have done!! xx

bunchesonothing

"Before we were together, I had a choice to be with whomever I wanted. You are the one that caught my eye and now you have my heart. Who cares about other men?"

Edit: We all like to have our ego stroked from time to time. Try to make him understand why you chose to be with him. Make him realize that no other man has anything on him.

Barrettmomof3

Sarah, It sounds like ur hubby wants to be reminded that you still find him attractive. I know my husband tried the oh you think that guys hot or whatever and what they want to hear back is "no hun I think your hot." I know sometimes my husband worries that once I have lost the weight that I will then start "looking for a younger model". They just need reassured just like we do that they are loved no matter what. I think you are doing the right thing by saying "I love you the way you are but if you want to change I am there to support you in whatever you want to do."

lolathompson

I am just so proud of your weight loss busy lady. You are already on the right track with your hubby, stay there.

Gary6030

I'm on the flip side. I've lost 180 lbs and my wife is just now starting her weight loss journey. I'll help you if you'll help me. I think little comments/compliments are the most helpful. But....here is the kicker....in public, in front of other men and women. Men like to hear it when its more intimate but when you publicly praise him. He will feel less insecure. We like competition but lets face it when your wife starts getting hot and you are just sweaty you start doubting and wondering if there is someone else. Because deep down most men probably feel like in the shape their in, your not doing this for me, there must be someone else. We're too insecure to think maybe you are doing it just for you.

So in a nutshell. Public praise, reassurance and most of all thank him for being the husband, father and provider he is. My wife is great about thanking me for going to work today. I in turn thank her for keeping our house nice and the wonderful meals she provides. It helps both parties feel appreciated and most of all secure.

ItsCasey

I would just continue to be very supportive. Men have this thing where they need for the women in their lives to see them as strong and handsome and invincible. I don't think it's really a security issue; it's an ego issue. They need to fulfill their "role" as men, and most of them think having a strong, muscular body is part of that. And I'm sure that your weight-loss has served as a catalyst for him, as well.

It's easy for me to say this because I don't have kids to deal with, but you might try being more flirtatious and playful with him. There is nothing more irresistable to a man than a woman who can't get enough of him (physically, I mean). Also, generally speaking, you can take what men say at face value. Most of them don't do the whole "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine," thing that women do, which really means "You've pissed me off, and you ought to know why without me having to explain it to you." If he says he's happy, then you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing, and the getting in shape thing is just about you giving him the motivation to do it. And that's a good thing.

_Tristan_

Wow, mind games are annoying. I wish I could tell your husband to man up.
You look amazing and I'm sure that he is trying to catch up but knock off the mind games.
Sorry but I do not play along. Say it or shut up!
Good luck!

SarahofTwins

I'm on the flip side. I've lost 180 lbs and my wife is just now starting her weight loss journey. I'll help you if you'll help me. I think little comments/compliments are the most helpful. But....here is the kicker....in public, in front of other men and women. Men like to hear it when its more intimate but when you publicly praise him. He will feel less insecure. We like competition but lets face it when your wife starts getting hot and you are just sweaty you start doubting and wondering if there is someone else. Because deep down most men probably feel like in the shape their in, your not doing this for me, there must be someone else. We're too insecure to think maybe you are doing it just for you.

So in a nutshell. Public praise, reassurance and most of all thank him for being the husband, father and provider he is. My wife is great about thanking me for going to work today. I in turn thank her for keeping our house nice and the wonderful meals she provides. It helps both parties feel appreciated and most of all secure.

Ah okay, I'll have to do the public thing...I haven't done that really. I usually tell him in private because I figured he wouldnt want others to hear. That really helps to hear this!! Thank you!

SarahofTwins

I would just continue to be very supportive. Men have this thing where they need for the women in their lives to see them as strong and handsome and invincible. I don't think it's really a security issue; it's an ego issue. They need to fulfill their "role" as men, and most of them think having a strong, muscular body is part of that. And I'm sure that your weight-loss has served as a catalyst for him, as well.

It's easy for me to say this because I don't have kids to deal with, but you might try being more flirtatious and playful with him. There is nothing more irresistable to a man than a woman who can't get enough of him (physically, I mean). Also, generally speaking, you can take what men say at face value. Most of them don't do the whole "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine," thing that women do, which really means "You've pissed me off, and you ought to know why without me having to explain it to you." If he says he's happy, then you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing, and the getting in shape thing is just about you giving him the motivation to do it. And that's a good thing.

Yes I've been supportive very much so...and also I'm playful with him a lot more now since I've been comfortable with my weight loss. So hopefully he'll get out of this funk lol

crisanderson27

Sarah, It sounds like ur hubby wants to be reminded that you still find him attractive. I know my husband tried the oh you think that guys hot or whatever and what they want to hear back is "no hun I think your hot." I know sometimes my husband worries that once I have lost the weight that I will then start "looking for a younger model". They just need reassured just like we do that they are loved no matter what. I think you are doing the right thing by saying "I love you the way you are but if you want to change I am there to support you in whatever you want to do."

This is true...but the sad fact is if he's feeling that way, the insecurity has bitten too deep for him to truly believe it with words anyway. It's got to be shown...and regularly to be effective. I know you girls are going to find this stereotypical, but the fact is, nothing convinces a man he's a man more than the woman he loves wanting to sleep with him.

It's stupid...words should mean more...but it's actions that count with us. You can tell us a thousand times we're the only one...and there will always be some niggling doubt...because words express your thoughts...not what you feel. ONE time of actually SHOWING us, will do more good than ten thousand 'It's always been you'. ONE 'It's always been you...' as you look up with your head on our chest as you're laying there in exhaustion...will double the effectiveness.

Men are simple...certain things work, certain things don't. Sure we want to be told...but being shown means so, so much more. Even more points for you if you can find a way, outside of bed...to show us how you feel. Again...words aren't it...unless they're used sparingly, and very, very meaningfully. Think of the last time YOUR husband walked out the door for work, mumbling 'I love you dear gotta run'...that you thought to yourself 'You know...he REALLY does...wow...'

THAT is what your husband needs right now...that 'She really does...WOW...' thing!

Cris

crisanderson27

I would just continue to be very supportive. Men have this thing where they need for the women in their lives to see them as strong and handsome and invincible. I don't think it's really a security issue; it's an ego issue. They need to fulfill their "role" as men, and most of them think having a strong, muscular body is part of that. And I'm sure that your weight-loss has served as a catalyst for him, as well.

It's easy for me to say this because I don't have kids to deal with, but you might try being more flirtatious and playful with him. There is nothing more irresistable to a man than a woman who can't get enough of him (physically, I mean). Also, generally speaking, you can take what men say at face value. Most of them don't do the whole "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine," thing that women do, which really means "You've pissed me off, and you ought to know why without me having to explain it to you." If he says he's happy, then you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing, and the getting in shape thing is just about you giving him the motivation to do it. And that's a good thing.

This woman gets it =D.

Your husband is a lucky man lol.

SarahofTwins

I would just continue to be very supportive. Men have this thing where they need for the women in their lives to see them as strong and handsome and invincible. I don't think it's really a security issue; it's an ego issue. They need to fulfill their "role" as men, and most of them think having a strong, muscular body is part of that. And I'm sure that your weight-loss has served as a catalyst for him, as well.

It's easy for me to say this because I don't have kids to deal with, but you might try being more flirtatious and playful with him. There is nothing more irresistable to a man than a woman who can't get enough of him (physically, I mean). Also, generally speaking, you can take what men say at face value. Most of them don't do the whole "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine," thing that women do, which really means "You've pissed me off, and you ought to know why without me having to explain it to you." If he says he's happy, then you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing, and the getting in shape thing is just about you giving him the motivation to do it. And that's a good thing.

This woman gets it =D.

Your husband is a lucky man lol.

Thank you everyone...I really appreciate the advice. I express my love for him...very much so in other ways that I can't really say on here. Inapproriate hahaha. So maybe just staying consistent with showing him or maybe surprising him would help?

Sauchie

Almost all men have their own insecurities. When they see the transformation their spouse starts making unfortunately it can spark the insecurities more. Sad but true. So not only do they need to know you love them and have eyes only for them they like others to hear it to. Rarely will they admit it but its still true.

My better half and myself have been together for 6 yrs. Last year I started my weight-loss journey and i regularly must pet his ego with affection. Esp when he calls home from work so his co workers can here. Yep speaker phone.

SarahofTwins

Almost all men have their own insecurities. When they see the transformation their spouse starts making unfortunately it can spark the insecurities more. Sad but true. So not only do they need to know you love them and have eyes only for them they like others to hear it to. Rarely will they admit it but its still true.

My better half and myself have been together for 6 yrs. Last year I started my weight-loss journey and i regularly must pet his ego with affection. Esp when he calls home from work so his co workers can here. Yep speaker phone.

First, Amazing loss so far!! Great job! Second, yeah it does seem kind of sad but I can see how that can make them feel that way. Just gotta make me him better overall with actions and words. Hopefully he'll see its only him, geez lol

crisanderson27

I would just continue to be very supportive. Men have this thing where they need for the women in their lives to see them as strong and handsome and invincible. I don't think it's really a security issue; it's an ego issue. They need to fulfill their "role" as men, and most of them think having a strong, muscular body is part of that. And I'm sure that your weight-loss has served as a catalyst for him, as well.

It's easy for me to say this because I don't have kids to deal with, but you might try being more flirtatious and playful with him. There is nothing more irresistable to a man than a woman who can't get enough of him (physically, I mean). Also, generally speaking, you can take what men say at face value. Most of them don't do the whole "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine," thing that women do, which really means "You've pissed me off, and you ought to know why without me having to explain it to you." If he says he's happy, then you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing, and the getting in shape thing is just about you giving him the motivation to do it. And that's a good thing.

This woman gets it =D.

Your husband is a lucky man lol.

Thank you everyone...I really appreciate the advice. I express my love for him...very much so in other ways that I can't really say on here. Inapproriate hahaha. So maybe just staying consistent with showing him or maybe surprising him would help?

Yep! You got it!

TDGee

Guys do not tend to analyze things like women. We think logically for the most part instead of emotionally.
We are AMAZINGLY simple creatures. Remember, we make a disproportionate amount of our decisions with the little brain for a good portion of our lives. As we get more mature, not so much, but the little brain is ALWAYS a voting member of the board...


1. Make us feel needed AND wanted, and not JUST sexually. But feel free to take something off of the "Do not do list" occasionally... :happy:

crazymama2two

Sarah, It sounds like ur hubby wants to be reminded that you still find him attractive. I know my husband tried the oh you think that guys hot or whatever and what they want to hear back is "no hun I think your hot." I know sometimes my husband worries that once I have lost the weight that I will then start "looking for a younger model". They just need reassured just like we do that they are loved no matter what. I think you are doing the right thing by saying "I love you the way you are but if you want to change I am there to support you in whatever you want to do."

This is true...but the sad fact is if he's feeling that way, the insecurity has bitten too deep for him to truly believe it with words anyway. It's got to be shown...and regularly to be effective. I know you girls are going to find this stereotypical, but the fact is, nothing convinces a man he's a man more than the woman he loves wanting to sleep with him.

It's stupid...words should mean more...but it's actions that count with us. You can tell us a thousand times we're the only one...and there will always be some niggling doubt...because words express your thoughts...not what you feel. ONE time of actually SHOWING us, will do more good than ten thousand 'It's always been you'. ONE 'It's always been you...' as you look up with your head on our chest as you're laying there in exhaustion...will double the effectiveness.

Men are simple...certain things work, certain things don't. Sure we want to be told...but being shown means so, so much more. Even more points for you if you can find a way, outside of bed...to show us how you feel. Again...words aren't it...unless they're used sparingly, and very, very meaningfully. Think of the last time YOUR husband walked out the door for work, mumbling 'I love you dear gotta run'...that you thought to yourself 'You know...he REALLY does...wow...'

THAT is what your husband needs right now...that 'She really does...WOW...' thing!

Cris

basically youre saying - screw his brains out. figures.

ItsCasey

Sarah, It sounds like ur hubby wants to be reminded that you still find him attractive. I know my husband tried the oh you think that guys hot or whatever and what they want to hear back is "no hun I think your hot." I know sometimes my husband worries that once I have lost the weight that I will then start "looking for a younger model". They just need reassured just like we do that they are loved no matter what. I think you are doing the right thing by saying "I love you the way you are but if you want to change I am there to support you in whatever you want to do."

This is true...but the sad fact is if he's feeling that way, the insecurity has bitten too deep for him to truly believe it with words anyway. It's got to be shown...and regularly to be effective. I know you girls are going to find this stereotypical, but the fact is, nothing convinces a man he's a man more than the woman he loves wanting to sleep with him.

It's stupid...words should mean more...but it's actions that count with us. You can tell us a thousand times we're the only one...and there will always be some niggling doubt...because words express your thoughts...not what you feel. ONE time of actually SHOWING us, will do more good than ten thousand 'It's always been you'. ONE 'It's always been you...' as you look up with your head on our chest as you're laying there in exhaustion...will double the effectiveness.

Men are simple...certain things work, certain things don't. Sure we want to be told...but being shown means so, so much more. Even more points for you if you can find a way, outside of bed...to show us how you feel. Again...words aren't it...unless they're used sparingly, and very, very meaningfully. Think of the last time YOUR husband walked out the door for work, mumbling 'I love you dear gotta run'...that you thought to yourself 'You know...he REALLY does...wow...'

THAT is what your husband needs right now...that 'She really does...WOW...' thing!

Cris

basically youre saying - screw his brains out. figures.

If you want a man to know that you want him, sex is going to be part of the equation. Imagine how you would feel if you didn't think your husband was hot for you. Sex would probably clear up any confusion about it. That's not unreasonable.

crisanderson27

basically youre saying - screw his brains out. figures.

Actually, I was saying a good bit more than that...but it was clearly misunderstood.

Figures.

Seriously though...either you guys want to understand, or you want to wonder why your guy is insecure and your relationships don't work etc (NOT directed at the original poster). What do I have to gain by her 'screwing his brains out'?? What do I have to gain by any of it at all? The answer is nothing. And for the record...one or two seriously intense, absolutely devoted sessions in bed in a week will do more to make him feel loved and like he's her man than 20 times laying there until he's done. It's about how you make him FEEL with it, not how many times you DO it.

I want to correct my first sentence above...I wasn't just saying a good bit more than that, I was saying a hell of a lot more than that. The fact that it wasn't picked up on is a pretty telling thing.

Cris

bunchesonothing

basically youre saying - screw his brains out. figures.

Seriously though, what's wrong with screwing his brains out?

Beyond that, it's probably about the quality of the nookie. And the enthusiasm, if I've learned a thing or two about by husband.

Some women like to be romanced. It's an emotional thing. In this case, there is an emotional side to this sex.

crazymama2two

basically youre saying - screw his brains out. figures.

Actually, I was saying a good bit more than that...but it was clearly misunderstood.

Figures.

Seriously though...either you guys want to understand, or you want to wonder why your guy is insecure and your relationships don't work etc (NOT directed at the original poster). What do I have to gain by her 'screwing his brains out'?? What do I have to gain by any of it at all? The answer is nothing. And for the record...one or two seriously intense, absolutely devoted sessions in bed in a week will do more to make him feel loved and like he's her man than 20 times laying there until he's done. It's about how you make him FEEL with it, not how many times you DO it.

I want to correct my first sentence above...I wasn't just saying a good bit more than that, I was saying a hell of a lot more than that. The fact that it wasn't picked up on is a pretty telling thing.

Cris

no i got it all. trust me and seeing as i am not the one having partner issues ill leave it at that.

SarahofTwins

Our intimate life is great...no problems there whatsoever. The whole "issue" is finding ways to make my guy feel appreciated...with words or actions. I wanted different ideas from others because I might have missed something.

Kalrez

Guys say "I love you, I want you, I need you" etc by ACTION. Women use words and metaphors and crap. Speak your man's love language and he'll be able to understand you better. Not necessarily saying you gotta plan an all-nighter, but do something together other than grocery shopping, ya know.

Sex can't hurt, though. There are few things that say "I want YOU" more than being intimate, especially when there's more going on than just laying there till it's over.

It boils down to action. In public, hold his hand. Kiss him when other guys are around, guys he might feel threatened by. I think small actions like that would go a good ways to showing him that you;re not thinking about anybody else.

angryguy77

Sarah, It sounds like ur hubby wants to be reminded that you still find him attractive. I know my husband tried the oh you think that guys hot or whatever and what they want to hear back is "no hun I think your hot." I know sometimes my husband worries that once I have lost the weight that I will then start "looking for a younger model". They just need reassured just like we do that they are loved no matter what. I think you are doing the right thing by saying "I love you the way you are but if you want to change I am there to support you in whatever you want to do."

This is true...but the sad fact is if he's feeling that way, the insecurity has bitten too deep for him to truly believe it with words anyway. It's got to be shown...and regularly to be effective. I know you girls are going to find this stereotypical, but the fact is, nothing convinces a man he's a man more than the woman he loves wanting to sleep with him.

It's stupid...words should mean more...but it's actions that count with us. You can tell us a thousand times we're the only one...and there will always be some niggling doubt...because words express your thoughts...not what you feel. ONE time of actually SHOWING us, will do more good than ten thousand 'It's always been you'. ONE 'It's always been you...' as you look up with your head on our chest as you're laying there in exhaustion...will double the effectiveness.

Men are simple...certain things work, certain things don't. Sure we want to be told...but being shown means so, so much more. Even more points for you if you can find a way, outside of bed...to show us how you feel. Again...words aren't it...unless they're used sparingly, and very, very meaningfully. Think of the last time YOUR husband walked out the door for work, mumbling 'I love you dear gotta run'...that you thought to yourself 'You know...he REALLY does...wow...'

THAT is what your husband needs right now...that 'She really does...WOW...' thing!

Cris

basically youre saying - screw his brains out. figures.

Whats wrong with that? Men have different needs than women because they are wired differently. What women get from talking and emotional support, men get from sex. I'm not saying men don't need to talk or have their women support them, but we are driven by different things. How would you feel if your spouse/bf told you he was too tired to hear about your problems every night? Would you not think he's ignoring your needs and being selfish? Constant rejection/very little sex will make a guy view his wife/gf as selfish and uncaring. This is the problem with society, the lines between genders has been blurred so much it has caused problems. Men are not allowed to be men, they have to be some ultra sensitive eunuch unless they want to be labeled a pig. Both sides are supposed to be there for the other whether its emotional or physical.

crisanderson27

no i got it all. trust me and seeing as i am not the one having partner issues ill leave it at that.

Neither am I...I don't have a partner.

And if you'd got it all...you'd have got that there was a lot more than just 'screw his brains out' suggested by my post. If you had actually got it all...there's no way 'screw his brains out' could have been your reply.

I don't think you got any of it, to be honest. But I'm glad you're not having partner issues...I wouldn't wish that kind of thing on anyone. I'm also glad I'm not the one saddled with someone who got 'screw his brains out' out of my entire post.

I'll leave it at that.

crisanderson27

Guys say "I love you, I want you, I need you" etc by ACTION. Women use words and metaphors and crap. Speak your man's love language and he'll be able to understand you better. Not necessarily saying you gotta plan an all-nighter, but do something together other than grocery shopping, ya know.

Sex can't hurt, though. There are few things that say "I want YOU" more than being intimate, especially when there's more going on than just laying there till it's over.

It boils down to action. In public, hold his hand. Kiss him when other guys are around, guys he might feel threatened by. I think small actions like that would go a good ways to showing him that you;re not thinking about anybody else.

And another one that gets it...=D. This post is actually full of them...from the original poster on. You girls are awesome...and if this is how you really feel, I have hope for society yet. What do you think Angryguy77 lol?

Our intimate life is great...no problems there whatsoever. The whole "issue" is finding ways to make my guy feel appreciated...with words or actions. I wanted different ideas from others because I might have missed something.

We know...the thread just got a little side tracked by someone completely misunderstanding what I said. For what it's worth, I think you've got it covered =D.

SarahofTwins

Sarah, It sounds like ur hubby wants to be reminded that you still find him attractive. I know my husband tried the oh you think that guys hot or whatever and what they want to hear back is "no hun I think your hot." I know sometimes my husband worries that once I have lost the weight that I will then start "looking for a younger model". They just need reassured just like we do that they are loved no matter what. I think you are doing the right thing by saying "I love you the way you are but if you want to change I am there to support you in whatever you want to do."

This is true...but the sad fact is if he's feeling that way, the insecurity has bitten too deep for him to truly believe it with words anyway. It's got to be shown...and regularly to be effective. I know you girls are going to find this stereotypical, but the fact is, nothing convinces a man he's a man more than the woman he loves wanting to sleep with him.

It's stupid...words should mean more...but it's actions that count with us. You can tell us a thousand times we're the only one...and there will always be some niggling doubt...because words express your thoughts...not what you feel. ONE time of actually SHOWING us, will do more good than ten thousand 'It's always been you'. ONE 'It's always been you...' as you look up with your head on our chest as you're laying there in exhaustion...will double the effectiveness.

Men are simple...certain things work, certain things don't. Sure we want to be told...but being shown means so, so much more. Even more points for you if you can find a way, outside of bed...to show us how you feel. Again...words aren't it...unless they're used sparingly, and very, very meaningfully. Think of the last time YOUR husband walked out the door for work, mumbling 'I love you dear gotta run'...that you thought to yourself 'You know...he REALLY does...wow...'

THAT is what your husband needs right now...that 'She really does...WOW...' thing!

Cris

basically youre saying - screw his brains out. figures.

Whats wrong with that? Men have different needs than women because they are wired differently. What women get from talking and emotional support, men get from sex. I'm not saying men don't need to talk or have their women support them, but we are driven by different things. How would you feel if your spouse/bf told you he was too tired to hear about your problems every night? Would you not think he's ignoring your needs and being selfish? Constant rejection/very little sex will make a guy view his wife/gf as selfish and uncaring. This is the problem with society, the lines between genders has been blurred so much it has caused problems. Men are not allowed to be men, they have to be some ultra sensitive eunuch unless they want to be labeled a pig. Both sides are supposed to be there for the other whether its emotional or physical.

This.

Plus when the guy becomes super sensitive it's a turn off. We need a man...not a woman lol

angryguy77

Guys say "I love you, I want you, I need you" etc by ACTION. Women use words and metaphors and crap. Speak your man's love language and he'll be able to understand you better. Not necessarily saying you gotta plan an all-nighter, but do something together other than grocery shopping, ya know.

Sex can't hurt, though. There are few things that say "I want YOU" more than being intimate, especially when there's more going on than just laying there till it's over.

It boils down to action. In public, hold his hand. Kiss him when other guys are around, guys he might feel threatened by. I think small actions like that would go a good ways to showing him that you;re not thinking about anybody else.

And another one that gets it...=D. This post is actually full of them...from the original poster on. You girls are awesome...and if this is how you really feel, I have hope for society yet. What do you think Angryguy77 lol?

Our intimate life is great...no problems there whatsoever. The whole "issue" is finding ways to make my guy feel appreciated...with words or actions. I wanted different ideas from others because I might have missed something.

We know...the thread just got a little side tracked by someone completely misunderstanding what I said. For what it's worth, I think you've got it covered =D.

Good to see that some women understand it. I truly believe it's one of the biggest problems in marriages these days. A good sex life will make other areas of the relationship so much better. That is unless the person you married is a complete selfish jerk.

ItsCasey

This is the problem with society, the lines between genders has been blurred so much it has caused problems. Men are not allowed to be men, they have to be some ultra sensitive eunuch unless they want to be labeled a pig. Both sides are supposed to be there for the other whether its emotional or physical.

I'm glad you said this because I, too, believe this is a big reason for the breakdown in our society. I get a lot of criticism from female friends and relatives for thinking this because I'm a woman with a successful career, but we have lost our way when it comes to accepting and honoring femininity and masculinity. People are trying to use societal constraints to "fix" what they see as biological deficiencies in men. I happen to think men (REAL men, that is) are pretty freaking amazing just the way they are and that if women could get over themselves long enough to see that our natural differences are what attract us to each other, we'd all be a lot happier.

I am dumbfounded every time a female friend complains to me that her husband wants "too much" sex. I'm like " Really? Your husband is so hot for you that he wants you all the time, and that's a problem for you?" Sometimes I wonder why men even bother getting married.

SarahofTwins

This is the problem with society, the lines between genders has been blurred so much it has caused problems. Men are not allowed to be men, they have to be some ultra sensitive eunuch unless they want to be labeled a pig. Both sides are supposed to be there for the other whether its emotional or physical.

I'm glad you said this because I, too, believe this is a big reason for the breakdown in our society. I get a lot of criticism from female friends and relatives for thinking this because I'm a woman with a successful career, but we have lost our way when it comes to accepting and honoring femininity and masculinity. People are trying to use societal constraints to "fix" what they see as biological deficiencies in men. I happen to think men (REAL men, that is) are pretty freaking amazing just the way they are and that if women could get over themselves long enough to see that our natural differences are what attract us to each other, we'd all be a lot happier.

I am dumbfounded every time a female friend complains to me that her husband wants "too much" sex. I'm like " Really? Your husband is so hot for you that he wants you all the time, and that's a problem for you?" Sometimes I wonder why men even bother getting married.

Yeah I don't see why female's complain about the husband wanting too much....at least they want it from their wives instead of some sleazy prostitute.