Struggling so bad...and losing hope...seeking advice, sugges

icemaiden013

"make sure you're sticking to nutrient dense, wholesome, natural foods - fruits, veggies, lean proteins, and really watch the starchy carbs, especially breads, pastas, etc"

Very very true! I was 240. I am 5' 4"...I was miserable. I've lost 80 lbs and I can tell you the most important thing I did was do avoid the "refined, white starches" No white sugar, no white flour, no white potatoes, no rice." I only eat whole grain bread's, sweet potatoes and fiber rich foods.

Make sure you don't have too many long periods without eating. I know in this day and age with working and all it's hard but even if it's a 100cal stick of cheese it's keeps your metabolism going. Now that I am close to goal I am allowing myself occasional treats but 95% of the time I stick to a low-moderate carb and 1400 cal diet. I also make sure i get some sort of treat or snack..each day because it really has helped break up the routine. I just budge it in my calories every day. I'm losing slowly about a pound a week. I see the end in sight and will not give up. Drink lots of water (i still struggle with that) and don't dwell soley on the scale..measure because you can lose inches without the scale budging. Good luck and God Bless

The no potatoes/rice etc wouldn't be sustainable for me, I need to cut my carbs/starches as opposed to change to brown rice, sweet potatoes etc (I'm Irish, sweet potatoes are against my 'religion' lol!) If I cut it out altogether, I'd never keep it up!

I definitely eat every few hours - I allow myself occasional treats but for the most part 1400 cals etc. I want to lose 1lb/wk so badly!

icemaiden013

Maybe you need to take the pressure off. Don't put such a strict goal on yourself, like I have to lose 40 pounds in 6 months or else...
Just make a change, a permanent one. I realized my biggest mistake during weight loss over the years is eating healthy and exercising and getting some weight off and then soon as I am close the where I want to be, I go back to behaving the same way and lo and behold, here comes the weight gain. I see my friends and coworkers do this all the time. I think whatever diet you do it will have to be one that you can live with for the rest of your life. This isn't a temporary lifestyle change, it has to be a permanent habit to keep the weight off. Start easy and don't be concerned with how much, how fast, as long as you are headed in the right direction and making positive healthy lifestyle changes. Maybe drink more water and less soda, then walk a little more, then eat more fresh fruits and veggies and less fast food (that is my nemesis). Weigh yourself, but don't get upset. We women tend to fluctuate with hormones and whatnot, so just use it as a guide to what you need to do tomorrow. You can do it. Don't say I am going to, say I am doing it right now, this minute! Good Luck!

Thanks for the encouragement!

I was at the point where I'd made permanent changes, drinking a lot of water, exercising, fruit and veggies, cut eating out down from 5-7 times/wk to 1-2 max (which I still have maintained) and when I DO go out, I choose wisely, but the surgery messed everything up. I just gotta get back in the routine I guess...*sigh* It's just so hard when the numbers are so discouraging!

icemaiden013

I want to tell you my story.....

A little over five years ago I had my daughter, during the pregnancy I almost lost her, numerous times. I was then diagnosed with gestational diabetes, they were going to wait a couple weeks and then induce me. Well I didn't make it those couple weeks, I went into labor within a few days. During my entire pregnancy I was stressed out, we have a son also (they are 12 months and 20 days apart). When our daughter was born, she had some medical problems that scared me to death, we were back and forth to the hospital the first week, then back and forth to different hospitals and specialists the first couple years of her life...my son was diagnosed with SPD and is borderline autistic.... with all of this, it took them years, but I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, diabetes Type 2, IBS, seasonal affective disorder, arthritis, sleep apnea, and a couple other things. The more medication I was put on, the more weight I gained. I quit smoking, and I gained more weight. I also have a history of gall stones and kidney stones, I can swell and my ankles get triple their size. I used to try to lose weight, I would follow diet after diet, I tried Weight Watchers, pills, Michael Thurman, Taebo, you name it I've tried it..... sometimes I would lose a pound or even 10 lbs.....but it would always come back.

Recently, my doctor took me off all medication except my migraine meds. In 10 weeks I have lost 17 pounds and 35 inches. I have had my ups and downs, but for the first time in my life I am fed up with the person I see in the mirror. I am embarrassed to be seen in public with my husband and children, and I am appalled when I have to buy new clothes. This is not something that I can live with a moment longer. I am ready for a life style change with no more excuses, no more feeling sorry for myself, no more hiding behind my weight because I don't feel good enough to live. I am for the first time in my life proud of myself for taking the steps I needed to make this lifestyle change. I am no where near where I want to be, but I am no where near where I was 10 weeks ago either. I am no longer classified as a diabetic, I have not had an IBS flare up in a long time, nor have I had problems with my gall bladder or kidneys. I still have problems with my fibromyalgia, I probably always will, but they are bearable. I follow the calories the MFP has set for me, I am under a doctors care, and I exercise..... it is hard I will not lie to you...but it is harder to get up every morning and look in that mirror and know that this is one thing that I can control and that I can finally say, I have taken control. It's about changing your relationship with food, and it won't happen over night....if your willing to take the step.... I'm willing to stand beside you.... feel free to add me!

your story is definitely inspiring, I'm at the point that if I get pregnant, I'm terrified of G.Diabetes, heart trouble, or complications with the pregnancy due to obesity. It's all so terrifying!

icemaiden013

My best advice....DO NOT GIVE UP.. and don't think of this as a diet.. think of it.. as a life change.. ..

I had to change the way I thought about what I wanted ... I was always thinking.. Diet.. Diet.. Diet.. but its not.. its health health health....


healthier eating.. leads to healthier body.. I also learned to eat every three hours.. I am losing weight more now.. because I am eating every three hours ! It boost the metabolism.. but I'm eating fruits.. proteins.. like fish and chicken.. water.. and honestly eating as little processed and white foods.. like white breads.. white flour like biscuits , no red meat.. or me it works best.. I also made sure I was eating all my calories.. sometimes eating less.. makes the body feel like your starving yourself.... and you wont lose weight.

The other thing was boost up my cardio but to something I like doing.. and I learned to work out with light weights..

I learned changing it up a bit here and there.. is good for the body..

Don't give up.. I have been there more then I can count!!!!!

I am at 217 lbs.. there was a time.. I weigh 302 lbs!

So.. do a little personal research.. daily caloric goals.. , what your eating? are you eating enough.. cardio ing enough?

Good luck to you ... You'll lose the weight you want.. *

Nancy

Thanks Nancy - congrats on your loss - that's huge!!! It's so hard not to give up sometimes though!

icemaiden013

^some good thinking here^



It helped me to realize I didn't have to change everything all at once. All the millions of things I SHOULD be doing seeming overwheliming and impossible. I started by:

1) tracking for a couple of weeks before I worried about losing.
(although seeing what I was eating I couldn't help but rein back a bit)

2) seeing where I could make small changes on things that weren't that important to me.
(Don't even think of taking chocolate out of my diet!!!)
--Reducing quantities where I won't notice it so much
--Swapping out things instead of eliminating them.

3) Look at my diary and started adding foods that had positive healthy effects specifically for the health issue in my family.
I found most of the things I "should" add were really yummy too! salmon, avocado, oatmeal, mango, red grapes....
(Sort of think of food as medicine to deal with family history of various health issue oatmeal is good for heart health, mango and red grapes lower cholesterol, tumeric and cinnamon good for arthritis)

4) every couple of weeks I see where I can make another couple of small changes.
If you completely revamp your diet, it's way easy to revert to old ways in times of stress.
If you make a series of small changes, food still offers you some sense of comfort.
sort of a comfort continuum, and after a while the first small changes will seem comforting in themselves.
You don't have to be perfect you just have to do better.

5) also rather than being uberstrict with the target MFP set for me I did the math to find out the calories needed to maintain my goal weight and my current weight and I gave myself a range with 1200 as my rock bottom, lose 1 lb/wk as my target and maintain my goal weight as the top of my range. As long as I keep within in this range I'll lose. I tend to naturally zig zag my calories 3-4 at very close to my target and then a higher calorie day closer to the top of my range.

As long as I stayed under maintain my current weight calories I won't gain. So no need to throw in the towel, just pick-up where I left off.

Once I found ways to lessen the stress, I found it way easier to focus on the process and let the results follow. (It's what worked for me some people nee the stress to get them motivated. Me I get scared and overwhelmed and don't see the big goal as acheivable. I only worry about it 1 lb at a time.)

I figure if I've got a good plan that I can actually maintain I can keep this off for a long time to come, without feeling deprived.
Good Luck

I agree with everything you said, slow and steady wins the race, I know...it's just hard to keep racing sometimes!

klabeau

bump

icemaiden013

Hello, hello... don't give up hope!
You're on the right track..
You have the right idea with the frequent meals, the water, the exercise and the calories.
Has your health care provider has ruled out all the usual suspects like thyroid, PCOS, etc?
What kinds of resources are you using, books, internet advice, etc? I liked Jillian Michaels' "Master your metabolism" and the New Rules of Lifting for Women.
There's no quick and easy solution, but there are some tricks...
Two big wild cards are what kind of exercise are you getting and what kind of food are you eating.
I'm not a specialist, but here are some things that really helped me:
The more intense your exercise, the less of it you have to do and the greater effect it will have on your metabolism. Think power, not endurance. Resistance training creates more calorie-burning lean mass, & amps up your metabolic rate. Interval/high intensity training (alternating short bursts of high-intensity with rest instead of steady-state cardio) & plyometrics (jump training) both boost your metabolism -- you train your heart rate recovery, increase your aerobic capacity, and stimulate a growth-hormone boost while revving up your metabolic rate for up to 48 hours.
If you enjoy steady-state cardio, a good time to add it is right after HIT or weight training -- your energy stores will already be depleted so you'll burn calories at a faster rate and burn more fat for energy. Vary your cardio type to keep things interesting and keep your body from adapting, which it's very good at! Over time you burn fewer and fewer calories from the same exercise as your body gets more efficient at it. You need to keep adding new challenges to stimulate your body's adaptive response to grow stronger, fitter, healthier muscles and bones.

For food, the more satiating your food, the steadier your blood sugar. I believe my body functions best with about 1 gram of lean protein per pound of bodyweight. Some people would be shocked by that amount, but it works for me. I eat a giant breakfast and snack throughout the day. I also aim to eat lots of high-fibre foods like berries, veggies, beans and legumes every day.

So that's what I'm doing, and it works for me --

I know it can be really really frustrating. I called my husband in tears at work one day I was so baffled by the immovable scale!!
You can do it!

Take care,

)

Tara

Vary calorie intake day to day working for an average of your target, one big cheat day to keep your metabolism from slowing down. Increase protein, fiber, and healthy fats while lowering starches and carbs.
The scale won't move steadily -- it will start and stop. Beginning a fitness program can cause temporary water weight gain, so don't panic if you work hard and gain weight. Don't just watch the scale -- watch your measurements -- body recomposition is more important than weight loss.

Thanks Tara, 6 months ago I was doing everything right, but as the scale has slipped, so have my healthy habits. It's just so hard when the cards are stacked against ya!

icemaiden013

Thanks

FullOfSpice

I understand your frustration. I haven't lost more than 5 lbs and I've been at it for over 1.5 years. Don't give up. Sometimes you have to fail 100 times before you know what you are doing wrong. Important things to look at are

1) Eating Habits - No/Little processed foods, lean meats, lots of veggies/fruits, around 1200-1500 net calories per day

2) Exercise - Aim for 50 mins cardio 3-4x a week. Switch it up by doing intervals examples such as : Run 1 min, Walk 2 min for 50 Mins Total; Spinning, Elliptical, etc. Strength training is VERY important. Make sure you do weights 3-4x a week for at least 30 mins.

3) Check your hormones. Sometimes you can be deficient or low in certain vitamins/hormones causing your weight loss to stall. I recently found out that I was hypothyroid therefore my metabolism is much slower these days. Also, I found out I was Vitamin D deficient, which is important in regulating your body.


I hope this helps. I also recently joined a gym and hired a personal trainer. I need that outside motivation and help for me to get back on track. Hopefully this website will guide you in the right direction. Feel free to add me for support

P.S. I also have gallbladder issues, but I refuse to take it out. I just limit my fat intake because any time I do eat anything high in fat, I have huge attacks...

Added! My gallbladder issue came on pretty fast and showed no sign of decreasing so I'd no choice but to take it out fast. What's your fat goal per day? maybe my fat intake is too high for my lack of gall bladder...

Well, I don't have a specific goal for my fat intake. Since I eat a lot of lean meat and fresh veggies, I dont really have to count. I also stick to non-fat or low fat dairy, when I do have it...which is maybe once a week. I get a most of my "healthy fats" from almonds, avocados, olive oil, and then the minimal trace fat from chicken breast and eggs. I am just stubborn and don't want to undergo surgery to have it removed.

The counting I do is for carbs, protein, and calories. I have oatmeal every day for breakfast, and then I allow myself one other carb meal, i.e. Sandwich (whole wheat), wrap, rice (brown)...for either lunch or dinner. If I eat a wrap/burrito for lunch, then I'll stick to veggies and chicken for dinner, or vice versa.

Hope this information helps. Trust me, I have bad days, especially when its that TOM, but its all about getting back on track.

stormyros

i feel for you on the weight gain after surgery i had hernia surgery and initally gained 20 pounds however ive noticed ive lost 2 inches around my waist and hips and now i need to buy a new scale( genius husband dropped it and it broke) to see exactly what ive lost all i did was wii boxing and tennis in sitting position to avoid messing my stomach up again and since mid june ive done 2 hour walks per day some days longer

icemaiden013

Well, I don't have a specific goal for my fat intake. Since I eat a lot of lean meat and fresh veggies, I dont really have to count. I also stick to non-fat or low fat dairy, when I do have it...which is maybe once a week. I get a most of my "healthy fats" from almonds, avocados, olive oil, and then the minimal trace fat from chicken breast and eggs. I am just stubborn and don't want to undergo surgery to have it removed.

The counting I do is for carbs, protein, and calories. I have oatmeal every day for breakfast, and then I allow myself one other carb meal, i.e. Sandwich (whole wheat), wrap, rice (brown)...for either lunch or dinner. If I eat a wrap/burrito for lunch, then I'll stick to veggies and chicken for dinner, or vice versa.

Hope this information helps. Trust me, I have bad days, especially when its that TOM, but its all about getting back on track.

Thanks, it does help, I know what I should do - and I was doing it, I think the surgery just messed things up a bit and i've gotten off track. It's hard to get back on!

icemaiden013

i feel for you on the weight gain after surgery i had hernia surgery and initally gained 20 pounds however ive noticed ive lost 2 inches around my waist and hips and now i need to buy a new scale( genius husband dropped it and it broke) to see exactly what ive lost all i did was wii boxing and tennis in sitting position to avoid messing my stomach up again and since mid june ive done 2 hour walks per day some days longer

wow WTG! I hope your new scales bring you good news!

grimnir

My mother was never able to have meaningful success losing weight until she cut out gluten, like she'd eat 1200 calories a day and not lose any at all, or hardly any. It made a world of difference for her, and cleared her brain fog and headaches considerably as well. Anyway, there are a number of different medical conditions that can have a significant impact on your ability to lose weight, not just celiac. Could also easily be a vitamin deficiency (cross your fingers and hope that's the case, since it's easy to treat). Don't give up, mix it up! There's so many different things you can do to change your diet so that it might start working for you. Eat more, eat less, eat earlier, big breakfasts, low carb, low fat, high protein, 100% clean, paleo, zig zagging, fasting days, cheat days, maintenance weeks, dairy-free, vegetarian, raw vegan, gluten-free, SOMETHING will work for you. Try drinking 15 cups of water a day for a couple weeks, that should help if some of your issues are caused by toxins in the blood from pollutants and such. Measure your food precisely, using a scale. If you can't afford to see a doctor, just pick something and try it for a couple weeks, see how it goes. But get real info if you can.

jessbennett1986

Hello!
I know how you are feeling and everyone has been there! Unlike most of the advice already given to you, I am totally opposite of what they say, and only because I have had to experiment to figure it out. Alot of people have said no starchy carbs, white this or that, all protein, veggies, fruit, ect. I can tell you if you are used to not eating clean doing it 24\7, you like most other people will not want to stick to it because you are not used to it! So, I tried the all clean diet before after I had my daughter last year. I did it for 3 months along with exercising 3-4x per week. After that I was so dishearted! I had only lost 5lbs of my pregnancy gain and felt like I was killing myself for it! So I decided to hell with it! I am going to eat what I want when I want. And guess what? I lost weight! 7lbs in a month! Now I am not saying all day I ate without accounting for it, but I did have pizza if I wanted. Or ice cream, or candy. I just poritioned it out and figured it into my calorie allowance. To this day I still eat that way. I knew I couldn't stick to a "diet" so I made up my own so that I knew I would stick with it and not feel deprived. And in one year I lost 40 lbs, which is alot for me because I'm not bigger to begin with. If there is nothing wrong thyroid wise and hormonal wise, I am guessing this is the reason why your body is rebelling. It is worth the try for a week and if you continue to gain then you have to figure out something else.

I also noticed with my body when I was doing strict 1400 cal a day 7 days a week I wasn't losing anything. But when I ended up letting myself have one cheat day a week then I was losing. If you know you can't control youself when being on a "diet" then have what food you want and keep it in your calorie range. And exercise! The more you exercise the more you can eat. Find something you like, even if at the beginning you find you don't like anything, keep trying because you might surprise yourself! I used to hate running and now I love it! I don't overdo it so that I stick with it. Something is better than nothing.

I zigzag eating also. This is something you might also want to experiment with. Some days I will go 4-500 calories over my goal and the next I will go 4-500 calories under my goal. I find on days that I don't exercise, I go way over because my limit is much lower than if I did exercise. So I go over and then compensate on opposite days with more exercise and better eating choices.

The book I read about giving up dieting is called lose weight without dieting by david nordmark. Also he suggests not counting calories I still do and go about eating what I want.

I hope this info helps and would love to be mfp friends to help motivate eachother if you want to friend me! Hang in there and take one day at a time!

needamulligan

First things first. Breath and stop thinking about it! Stress doesn't make anything better.

Second, do NOT stop eating right or exercising. You need to do both for a healthy pregnancy. Watch your sodium and stop measuring your success by the scale. Every day your diet is healthy and you exercise is a step toward your goals.

I've had more restarts than I care to count. So, believe me, I understand your frustration.

pickenslmc

I have learned that formal exercise isn't for me. I try to simply increase my activity level by taking walks, mowing the lawn, and I have a sport hula hoop I use for about 10-20 minutes a day. Maybe you can find a sport or activity you really enjoy. I like hula hooping so I stick to that with out any trouble. For me it is easier to focus on eating real food, mainly meat, veggies and fruit (and ice cream-the real stuff). Good luck on your journey.

icemaiden013

My mother was never able to have meaningful success losing weight until she cut out gluten, like she'd eat 1200 calories a day and not lose any at all, or hardly any. It made a world of difference for her, and cleared her brain fog and headaches considerably as well. Anyway, there are a number of different medical conditions that can have a significant impact on your ability to lose weight, not just celiac. Could also easily be a vitamin deficiency (cross your fingers and hope that's the case, since it's easy to treat). Don't give up, mix it up! There's so many different things you can do to change your diet so that it might start working for you. Eat more, eat less, eat earlier, big breakfasts, low carb, low fat, high protein, 100% clean, paleo, zig zagging, fasting days, cheat days, maintenance weeks, dairy-free, vegetarian, raw vegan, gluten-free, SOMETHING will work for you. Try drinking 15 cups of water a day for a couple weeks, that should help if some of your issues are caused by toxins in the blood from pollutants and such. Measure your food precisely, using a scale. If you can't afford to see a doctor, just pick something and try it for a couple weeks, see how it goes. But get real info if you can.

I've been trying to increase my water, I was drinking 3.5 litres for a while and it definitely helped so i'm trying to get back to that level. It's not that I can't afford to see the doc, I guess I just feel embarrassed that I've gained a lot of it back...

icemaiden013

Hello!
I know how you are feeling and everyone has been there! Unlike most of the advice already given to you, I am totally opposite of what they say, and only because I have had to experiment to figure it out. Alot of people have said no starchy carbs, white this or that, all protein, veggies, fruit, ect. I can tell you if you are used to not eating clean doing it 24\7, you like most other people will not want to stick to it because you are not used to it! So, I tried the all clean diet before after I had my daughter last year. I did it for 3 months along with exercising 3-4x per week. After that I was so dishearted! I had only lost 5lbs of my pregnancy gain and felt like I was killing myself for it! So I decided to hell with it! I am going to eat what I want when I want. And guess what? I lost weight! 7lbs in a month! Now I am not saying all day I ate without accounting for it, but I did have pizza if I wanted. Or ice cream, or candy. I just poritioned it out and figured it into my calorie allowance. To this day I still eat that way. I knew I couldn't stick to a "diet" so I made up my own so that I knew I would stick with it and not feel deprived. And in one year I lost 40 lbs, which is alot for me because I'm not bigger to begin with. If there is nothing wrong thyroid wise and hormonal wise, I am guessing this is the reason why your body is rebelling. It is worth the try for a week and if you continue to gain then you have to figure out something else.

I also noticed with my body when I was doing strict 1400 cal a day 7 days a week I wasn't losing anything. But when I ended up letting myself have one cheat day a week then I was losing. If you know you can't control youself when being on a "diet" then have what food you want and keep it in your calorie range. And exercise! The more you exercise the more you can eat. Find something you like, even if at the beginning you find you don't like anything, keep trying because you might surprise yourself! I used to hate running and now I love it! I don't overdo it so that I stick with it. Something is better than nothing.

I zigzag eating also. This is something you might also want to experiment with. Some days I will go 4-500 calories over my goal and the next I will go 4-500 calories under my goal. I find on days that I don't exercise, I go way over because my limit is much lower than if I did exercise. So I go over and then compensate on opposite days with more exercise and better eating choices.

The book I read about giving up dieting is called lose weight without dieting by david nordmark. Also he suggests not counting calories I still do and go about eating what I want.

I hope this info helps and would love to be mfp friends to help motivate eachother if you want to friend me! Hang in there and take one day at a time!

Wow what an interesting story - thanks!!! Adding you now!

icemaiden013

First things first. Breath and stop thinking about it! Stress doesn't make anything better.

Second, do NOT stop eating right or exercising. You need to do both for a healthy pregnancy. Watch your sodium and stop measuring your success by the scale. Every day your diet is healthy and you exercise is a step toward your goals.

I've had more restarts than I care to count. So, believe me, I understand your frustration.

Awww thanks so much for your words of support! It's just so hard! *sigh* trying to shake it off!

icemaiden013

I have learned that formal exercise isn't for me. I try to simply increase my activity level by taking walks, mowing the lawn, and I have a sport hula hoop I use for about 10-20 minutes a day. Maybe you can find a sport or activity you really enjoy. I like hula hooping so I stick to that with out any trouble. For me it is easier to focus on eating real food, mainly meat, veggies and fruit (and ice cream-the real stuff). Good luck on your journey.

Thanks so much - I think formal exercise is the only kind I'll do - I can't walk here in TX it's just too hot! :-(