Sick of NEGATIVE comments!!

B3Streeter

4 months ago I started p90x and MFP , I finished it and am now into Insanity. I have been working so hard. Really pushing myself and eating healthier than I ever have. I've lost 14lbs. I am 5'2 and now weigh 110lbs. My goal now is to maintain and tone up more. I am healthy! I feel great and am proud of myself. But all I keep hearing from people is that I must have an eating disorder and people asking me if I am eating enough food! They wouldnt be asking me if I was eating too much food if i was gaining weight because it is rude! I am just frustrated and had to vent!!! Does anyone else feel this way??

PurpleStarKatz

I definitely feel your pain there. Even at my highest weight, (Which I knew was too high and unhealthy for me) people would still say "You're too skinny." etc.
Sometimes I just wanted to say "Look, I'm sorry that you don't take care of your body but I take care of mine, so if you could please just shut it." But obviously I never do.
I didn't even bother to tell any friends or family that I chose to lose weight. If they don't have anything nice to say, then it's really none of their business. However, I don't know if you find this, but I know I've found that any of the comments I get seem to be from people who are simply jealous of my body size. It's frustrating, I know, but just hang in there. Congrats on the weight loss, it's a fantastic accomplishment! =]

joehempel

Wow, I'm glad I'm not in that position. Although the one time I did get a comment was from someone how hadn't seen me in a couple months.

Asked me "Are you dropping weight?" when I said yes he asked "Anything wrong?" Huh?? Um...YES...I'm FAT LOL.

mamagooskie

i always get the "I don't think you need to lose anymore" comments when I tell people I still have 14-15 lbs to lose. When I mention my goal weight well.....I have to hear about how that is tooooooo skinny, yet most of my cousins weigh less than me and they only get comments of how good they look.....why can't be happy and get encouraged to be the same weight as them?

weird....and I know how you feel!

KierstyPants

Wow, can I relate to you here.
I'm barely over my halfway mark, 51 pounds into this, and people are asking me if I have an eating disorder because I lost it 'fast'
It's been almost 7 months for 51 pounds, so I find it ridiculous that they would think that. Someone asked me if i'm doing it the right way and I said no, I puke almost everyday as a joke, so honestly It's annoying and hard but you just brush it off and keep on going. As long as you're happy with the way you are then who gives a bad word what other people think. This journey is so difficult. I know I'm not in the exact same situation where i'm skinny and people think i'm too skinny, or something, but i definitely understand. As long as you feel good, don't let any other stupid people tell you anything different.
You're great! =]

EKarma

I totally feel ya.. Get this, even my twin sister accused me of using METH! :noway: That's when I let her have it.. I let her know that she's supposed to have my back and she's the one that's trying to bring me down the most.. Talk about messed up... :grumble: It's all good tho.. She's just jealous cause I look better than she does :laugh:

rachmaree

I can understand that! My colleagues assumed I wasn't eating, because they saw me saying no to the oily, high carb foods at school at lunch time. I tried to explain that when I got home I ate loads- at least 1600-1700 calories every day, often more, but they didn't believe me. The kept saying 'you are so skinny...' and shaking their heads at me!! Umm... I have lost fat, for sure, but I train hard and eat, and I'm healthy. Ironically, the cook at the school is obese, and 2 of the teachers wanted to lose weight...

aippolito1

I don't have anything to add but just thought this

Asked me "Are you dropping weight?" when I said yes he asked "Anything wrong?" Huh?? Um...YES...I'm FAT LOL.

was funny

lauri62

YOU should be proud of yourself! You have worked incredibly hard and you deserve the healthy body you now have! Don't let anyone take that away from you! Sometimes jealously can play a role. You are a shining star and now you have the body and health to prove it! ENJOY!! When the comments start...just hold your head up high and say THANKS I worked hard for this beautiful body!

chevy88grl

First off, CONGRATS!

I completely understand what you're going through. I was actually asked at work the other night "How much weight are you going to lose? Everyone is worried you're sick because you've lost so much".

I'm not sick. I'm actually healthier than I've EVER been in my life - even as a very thin teenager (who ate like crap!). I'm tired of people asking me if I have an eating disorder or whatever. I'm fine -- I really am (better than fine actually).

I don't understand why people do it - but they do. Try and not let it get to you - even though I know it is VERY hard sometimes.

NikkisNewStart

It happens to me constantly... I've been in maintenance since April and I still get negative comments... too many to go into. People need to worry about their own bad habits, their own fat a$$es, and their own big mouths instead of worrying about what I am, or am not doing. I know what I do and that's what matters.

I have asked... Why weren't you THIS concerned when I was eating myself to death? Crickets chirping.

Exactly.. Bite me.

lemanda

I get that all the time too. I always say, "you dont see me naked, so you cant judge my body." That usually shuts them up pretty fast.

joamarelo

Wow, I'm glad I'm not in that position. Although the one time I did get a comment was from someone how hadn't seen me in a couple months.

Asked me "Are you dropping weight?" when I said yes he asked "Anything wrong?" Huh?? Um...YES...I'm FAT LOL.

Win! LOL

vidalia222

I think there are lots of reasons why people try to either sabotage your hard work or just feel a need to put you down when you are feeling so good about yourself, and most of them relate to their own insecurities - they can maybe see you doing what they'd like to do themselves but they haven't got your motivation or inner strength so they need to criticise rather than congratulate. That's thier problem and not yours.
Also I've come across another reason recently and that that many people particularly in Western society no longer recogise what people should look like at a healthy weight. Studies in the US and the UK have found that most people when shown photographs of people at a good healthy weight tend to identify them as underweight. Also many parents refuse to recognise obesity in their children - it is normal to see the ribsof a 10 year old but many parents would be horrified if that was their child instead thinking they were underweight or that they were not doing their job as a parent correctly. The media always show the extreme examples of obesity to such an extent that we have lost our perspective of what we should actually look like at a healthy normal weight.
Whatever the reasons, you know yourself that what you have acheived is something to be so proud of so you just have to learn to let their misguided comments roll off you like water off a duck's back.

HollyTsiaussis

Trust me, it happens to me all the time! It sucks, but don't pay attention to them!

madamelaporte

oh yeah this annoys the heck outta me!!!
People say to me you dont need to lose more weight, you are too small etc but the worst is my mum she tells me im obsessed, Im too skinny, I obviously dont eat enough if anything and she refuses to let me get a word in edgeways and goes into "I know what you are doing Claire you eat a biscuit or something bad and you aorkout like crazy the next day to make up for it" grrrrr Ask any of my MFP friend s that is NOT the case. I even got an email from my nan the other day saying after speaking with my mum she was extremely worried about me and that if i dont eat I will become ill or worse and wont be able to take care of my children?!?!?!?!?!? Anyone would think I was dangerously anorexic. Im 5ft 6" and weigh 127lbs I have a BMI of 21,4 which suggest a healthy weight. When I told my mum after her going on at me to stop losing weight etc that I needed to tone my thighs and lower tummy she said no you dont and I said yes mum i do they are wobbly and I want to tone them her reply " If you wear a size 8 you don't wobble" lol hilarious - doesnt matter what size you are it can still wobble of course it can. grrrrrr the one person who should support me and be happy for me doesnt and it annoys me - she tried MFP a while back gave it a month then said it was rubbish and now pays monthly fees for weight watchers!!!!!!
GGGRRRRRRRRR
When I am happy thats when I will stop and so should you whats the point in stopping because we are told to if we are not happy we are not happy end of thats why we are doing this to help ourselves get to that happy place! x

TheGraciousPantry

It always amazes how willing people are to comment on the weight of another person. It's such a personal issue!

I've had the opposite types of comments. I've lost 59 pounds so far and yet I still get asked if I'm pregnant or, "should you be eating that?"

On the other end of that, in certain conversations, I tell people that I am over a certain weight, and the only thing they say is... "Well, but you're tall." Umm... okay. 60 extra pounds of fat is 60 extra pounds of fat. What does my height have to do with it?

Regardless of a persons weight, it's nobody's business. Commenting is rude, no matter what.

I think the best way to reply to that in many cases is simply by informing the person that your weight is none of their business. And if you're feeling sassy, you can add to that, "And if I want your opinion on my weight, I'll give it to you first."

Just sayin', it's really nobody's business. There are people out there with horrible eating disorders who really do need help. Let the haters go be concerned about them!

dancer77

ugh I hate that! I have celiac which means I can't eat a lot of food that is generally served and I've had people flat out say to my face say that I'm anorexic. Um, look at me...yep see that? that's called FAT and I eat loads, just not fast food or cafeteria junk! Different reason, same pain. Seriously if I actually was anorexic they should be a lot more supportive and not judgmental! *rant over* You're on the right track. America is so messed up weight wise that most people have no idea what "healthy" looks like :P

TheGraciousPantry

America is so messed up weight wise that most people have no idea what "healthy" looks like :P

Soooooo true!!

Crystalchaos72

Yep! All the time! I HATE it! The newest one was "don't lose any more weight your face is getting too thin" well I replied "unfortunately people don't lose weight from the *kitten* up, it is from the face down" . I am slowly learning how to ignore it, but my weight loss has been huge -106.5

sweetsurprise13

omg I know what you mean. I have just started on losing weight and I have a ways to go but I get this from my mom all the time. I am unhealthy and every pound that I lose I get healthier. I have tried to explain this to her and all I get is her saying that she loves her self. I tell her that is great she loves her self but I love myself more and that is why I am getting healthy and to a healthy weight. She ironically is a little heavier then me and has tons of health problems. I try and tell her that it has nothing to do with looks but with living a healthy life for me, my son and my family.

On the other hand I should have known this would happen. When I went to live with my dad and I was 15 I lost 100 pounds and stayed at 130-135 pounds till 3rd year of college and she would always yap at me that I was too skinny every chance she would get. I am just glad that she is 1000 miles away and I have my hubby, son, friends, and other family to support me.

CrashD

Too many vultures sippin on that HATERADE! Eff em don't listen and keep moving you don't need people like that messing up your vibes. Keep doing you babe!

PurpleStarKatz

...When I told my mum after her going on at me to stop losing weight etc that I needed to tone my thighs and lower tummy she said no you dont and I said yes mum i do they are wobbly and I want to tone them her reply " If you wear a size 8 you don't wobble" lol hilarious - doesnt matter what size you are it can still wobble of course it can. grrrrrr the one person who should support me and be happy for me doesnt and it annoys me ...

I had something similar happen to me. I was looking through some of my mom's lotions and stuff and saw one for stretch marks. I have some on my upper/inner thighs and I really don't care that no one else ever sees them. They bother me, and that's enough for me to want to get rid of them. Anyway, I asked if I could borrow her lotion to try it and she gave me the dirtiest look ever and told me I couldn't possibly have stretch marks. Didn't believe me until she actually saw the marks for herself. After that she offered the lotion to me without contest though, xD

SimplyDeLish

You appear to be in the healthy body weight range for your height, you look great, you feel good, and you are where you want to be. That's all that matters.

Congrats on the weight loss.

samcee

I actually have a friend who stopped inviting me to bars and dinner because her reason was that I don't eat or drink. I was shocked! Just because I don't eat or drink as much alcohol as her doesn't mean I don't like to socialize and have a good time. She is the only one who takes notice of my food and alcohol intake, nobody else seems to mind! It's not like I sit there moaning about the calories in each meal or pick at my food either.

vidalia222

I actually have a friend who stopped inviting me to bars and dinner because her reason was that I don't eat or drink. I was shocked! Just because I don't eat or drink as much alcohol as her doesn't mean I don't like to socialize and have a good time. She is the only one who takes notice of my food and alcohol intake, nobody else seems to mind! It's not like I sit there moaning about the calories in each meal or pick at my food either.

It's amazing how threatened some people feel by what is after all just normal social behaviour. She must be really insecure about herself.

B3Streeter

Wow, thank you guys so much for the support!!!! I'm glad i'm not the only one who feels annoyed by this! I am a nurse, and we have a 70lb 5'4 anorexic patient on our unit and my coworkers keep telling me I should go bunk up with her. RUDE! But it is good to know all of the support that comes from MFP is available or I may go crazy!!!!!
Thanks again for listening to my rant! You all should be incredibly proud of yourself!

Lyadeia

I completely understand all of this!

Right now I am 5'5" tall, I weigh around 145 (haven't weighed myself in a while, so it might be a little more or a little less), and I wear a size 8. My goals, however, are to have 12% body fat and wear a size 2, so that means that I need to cut more fat from my body. By Tom Venuto's calculators, I will weigh around 115 pounds when I get to my goals. So obviously that means that I workout and eat at a calorie deficit...

And all I get from people is "you are already skinny" and "you don't need to lose weight" and "you don't want to be that little because that's unhealthy." I am so sick of it!!! It is nowhere near unhealthy. My goals are not to be a stick figure like Angelina Jolie, but I want to be a lean, muscular, bodybuilder type physique where you can see my abs poppin' out and my biceps are nice and strong. I eat at least 1500 calories a day. Maybe their goals are just to lose some weight, but mine are much more precise and specific. In P90X world, I would want to look like Dreya Weber...cause her size and body fat % are very close to my own goals. My size 8 pants would fall right off of her. :grumble:

My hairdresser even told me "Oh God, you don't need to lose a single pound cause you are so tiny." TINY? WHAT??? I might be smaller than her, but I am not "tiny." I find it offensive when people try to belittle my goals like that. They might be thinking they are being nice, but they are truly not!

bonniejo

I know how you feel too. I especially hate the "you only live once, so eat what you want" comment. I only live once, and I'd like to live long and healthily! (and skinny )

Has anyone ever seen "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead?"? They talk to people who would rather die at 50 and eat what they want than live to 90 and eat veggies and exercise. That's just terrible.

MissYogapants

I totally understand.
I grew up as a slightly chubby teen, whining about how extremely fat I was. Mom always told me, over and over again, that I wasn't fat, that I was beautiful and there was nothing wrong with me.

Then, when I was 19 I moved away from home, to go to university. I had very little money so what happened was I became good with cooking (it's so much cheaper doing every part of the cooking yourself than to use semi-finished products) and stopped eating sweets (I used to eat sweets every day...). I lost about 10 kilos and ended up with a BMI of 21.2, which is very healthy. I felt fantastic, like I'd never felt before. I was constantly so full of energy and felt totally awesome! And that's when it started... the "rescue actions" my mother started. Every time I came home to visit her (I then lived 200 kms away), which was about once or twice a month, she would be complaining over how skinny I'd gotten and how sick it was to be that underweight that I was. She engaged her friends and had them call me and talk to me about how bad my underweight had gotten.

Now looking back I see how insane that was. I was 5'9' (175 cm) and weighed 143 lbs (65 kilos). There was absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Some time after I suffered some rough years which peaked with a depression. A few months ago I weighed 187 lbs (85 kilos). I've turned the ship around and am now at 171 lbs (78 kilos). Of course, with my mother still nagging me, but now it's about how overweight I am...

I'm sick of people telling me that I'm too skinny or too fat. Those two comments hurt just as much, because they mean I'm not good enough.

vidalia222

I think the case with mothers is different to friends - a lot of mothers use food to show how much they love you, so it's done for the best reasons. They are wrong but it's because they don't know rather than that they want to harm your health - exactly the opposite really. Be kind to them but gently try to educate them. Just look at how many mums use food as a reward or a treat and it's no wonder we grow up confused but when we are adults we have the ability and free will to do things the way we want to do it and we should.