Is it just me...

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NikkisNewStart
NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,100 Member
in Chit-Chat
or has anyone else noticed a trend towards "hooking up" behavior on this site? It's fairly obvious that I am married (to Clint), have kids (5 actually) and am here to monitor my consumption and fitness... why then, would I still get a phone number sent to me, an invitation to meet, etc??

Has this happened to anyone else and if so... what is up with that?!? Whatever happened to the main focus of this site? It seems like it's being used as a social club more lately than anything else. Thoughts? :ohwell:
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Replies

  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
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    I had this creep find out that we live in the same town, and he started sending me messages like we were in some dating chat room. He started talking about how "hot" I am and that he wanted to take me to a bar in Charlotte for drinks and dancing and "fun stuff" as he put it afterwards...and I responded with "I am getting married soon and he's a cop so stop writing to me or else." I haven't seen him on MFP at all since then. I reported his creepiness to Mike but don't know if anything was said or done about it...
  • Sunshine_Girlie
    Sunshine_Girlie Posts: 618 Member
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    It's just you. ;] With 89 pounds lost, you are now a MILF. Isn't that what they call it? Lol. Maybe they're homewreckers.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    Yes. I've noticed this recently. I've gotten some pretty strange messages from men.

    I have a boyfriend who lives with me and 2 children. I have NO interest in anything more than friendship on here. Plain and simple. This isn't Facebook.
  • aa1440
    aa1440 Posts: 956 Member
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    There will always be "lurkers" on any social web site. Some people just don't know how to talk to others.
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,100 Member
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    lol I wouldn't call myself a milf... just saying... it weirds me out and I'm not hating on the guys b/c I have some super great supportive male friends who have been cheering me on for almost a year now... it is only recently that I've started to pick up on some of these weird vibes... or maybe I just didn't notice it happening before b/c it wasn't happening to me? :laugh:
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I am probably as guilty as any of treating portions of this site in a very whimsical, flirty (clean), and social manner.

    BUT, I would never contact someone who didn't either a: contact me first, or b: make it abundantly clear they were single and wanted friends. I'm in no position to have a girlfriend of any sort at this time, unless she was INCREDIBLY tolerant, understanding, and special. I am here for friendship...and it'll probably remain that way for a long time. I mean, sure my name is in the 'single' hat lol...but it's because I'm just that...single...and if I don't have some kind of fun, this custody fight will drive me insane.

    NOW...at the same time...you have to keep in mind...many of us here are newly 'attractive' (particularly many of the women), or feel more attractive than we have in years...and it's only normal to 'let loose' with people who they feel a bond of...well, experience with. Hopefully you guys can understand that...and hopefully people can remain respectful of the main focus of this site...which is weight loss. By that I mean keep the social aspect, to the social portion of the site.

    Hope that made sense.

    Cris
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
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    This is the perfect place for those creeps to get some. We are here because we had/have low- self esteem and hate the way we look/feel. so when some guy comes along and shows some attention towards a shy girl, with some kind words, they can easily get "tricked" into something since they are not used to that attention.
    Then there is the opposite, new found confidence and that comes with a new found sex drive. These guys know where it is at.

    Dont message me guys, I'm engaged.
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,100 Member
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    I am probably as guilty as any of treating portions of this site in a very whimsical, flirty (clean), and social manner.

    BUT, I would never contact someone who didn't either a: contact me first, or b: make it abundantly clear they were single and wanted friends. I'm in no position to have a girlfriend of any sort at this time, unless she was INCREDIBLY tolerant, understanding, and special. I am here for friendship...and it'll probably remain that way for a long time. I mean, sure my name is in the 'single' hat lol...but it's because I'm just that...single...and if I don't have some kind of fun, this custody fight will drive me insane.

    NOW...at the same time...you have to keep in mind...many of us here are newly 'attractive' (particularly many of the women), or feel more attractive than we have in years...and it's only normal to 'let loose' with people who they feel a bond of...well, experience with. Hopefully you guys can understand that...and hopefully people can remain respectful of the main focus of this site...which is weight loss. By that I mean keep the social aspect, to the social portion of the site.

    Hope that made sense.

    Cris

    Great point Cris about the new found confidence, etc... never thought of that (since it doesn't apply to me b/c I'm married and well, he thinks I'm attractive so that's really all I thought about, you know?) so yup- didn't think about the new found confidence, the attention, etc.... so that makes sense.

    You get the idea about the 'unwanted' type of attention though... that's what I was referring to.
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I am probably as guilty as any of treating portions of this site in a very whimsical, flirty (clean), and social manner.

    BUT, I would never contact someone who didn't either a: contact me first, or b: make it abundantly clear they were single and wanted friends. I'm in no position to have a girlfriend of any sort at this time, unless she was INCREDIBLY tolerant, understanding, and special. I am here for friendship...and it'll probably remain that way for a long time. I mean, sure my name is in the 'single' hat lol...but it's because I'm just that...single...and if I don't have some kind of fun, this custody fight will drive me insane.

    NOW...at the same time...you have to keep in mind...many of us here are newly 'attractive' (particularly many of the women), or feel more attractive than we have in years...and it's only normal to 'let loose' with people who they feel a bond of...well, experience with. Hopefully you guys can understand that...and hopefully people can remain respectful of the main focus of this site...which is weight loss. By that I mean keep the social aspect, to the social portion of the site.

    Hope that made sense.

    Cris

    Great point Cris about the new found confidence, etc... never thought of that (since it doesn't apply to me b/c I'm married and well, he thinks I'm attractive so that's really all I thought about, you know?) so yup- didn't think about the new found confidence, the attention, etc.... so that makes sense.

    You get the idea about the 'unwanted' type of attention though... that's what I was referring to.

    Yeah, unwanted attention is just that...unwanted and also...unacceptable. We all know guys are more guilty of that than women, as well. It's a norm of society in general, sadly. Most guys are jerks...it stands to reason we'll get some like that here too.

    I'd just let them know, then if they do it one more time, report them to an admin. I've had a few unwanted advances myself...it's AMAZING how aggressive some women can get lol...even I was shocked. But a couple of kindly placed hints did the trick, and I'm still MFP friends with them. Guys don't usually back off so easily.
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,100 Member
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    Yes, women are aggressive! I had 1 woman send me a message tonight for basically calling out her man friend on his unwanted behavior! I was flabberghasted... my first dealings with a crazy woman on here for sure. Drama, no thank you!

    You've got your head on straight and I'm sure you'll find you a nice lady when you're ready for it. Good for you for taking charge or your health while you deal with a difficult situation. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!
  • HollieDoodles
    HollieDoodles Posts: 678 Member
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    WOW! I am completely with you on this!

    I'm single and have had a few interesting personal messages. Not that I think that everyone who messages me has those intentions, but there has been an awkward moment or two.

    It's okay to be friendly and supportive.... I'm just sick to death of the women throwing themselves at the guys. Some are sneaky about it too. A few helpless questions here and there, wanting a guys opinion... yeah, right. It doesn't take long before it grows into more.

    Did ya notice the profile pics that are ridiculously obvious that they aren't here just for weightloss support? Geesh.

    Makes me sick, actually.
  • Thriceshy
    Thriceshy Posts: 707 Member
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    or has anyone else noticed a trend towards "hooking up" behavior on this site? It's fairly obvious that I am married (to Clint), have kids (5 actually) and am here to monitor my consumption and fitness... why then, would I still get a phone number sent to me, an invitation to meet, etc??

    Has this happened to anyone else and if so... what is up with that?!? Whatever happened to the main focus of this site? It seems like it's being used as a social club more lately than anything else. Thoughts? :ohwell:

    Just had some guy message me yesterday, tell me how "hot" I am. Not the first time. Considering these people can't see my pictures (only my sliver-of-a-face profile pic), I figure it scammers, spammers, or otherwise scary folks.

    I'm married, and if I were actually looking to hook up, I'd put it in a sig line.

    Kris
  • whisperingdragon
    whisperingdragon Posts: 334
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    Oh my goodness!! LOL! I'm new, so I wouldn't know..

    Maybe they think this is "e harmony"? LOL!!!
  • HollieDoodles
    HollieDoodles Posts: 678 Member
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    Okay, I guess I'm clueless about FB... I didn't realize it was a place to hook up. I'm not on there often and when I get someone trying to be my friend on there that I don't know, I just figured they made a mistake and I decline them. Maybe they all did make an honest mistake, who knows.
    I know someone that said they have people friend them on there and that's how they know them. NOT that they knew them before.

    It just doesn't seem right to do that...it seems sleazy and immature and ridiculous. Just like doing that on here.
  • NikkisNewStart
    NikkisNewStart Posts: 1,100 Member
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    Hahaha I just remembered that my husband and I met on Match.com! HAHAHA How did I forget that? We also share an account on FB b/c we have the same friends (grew up in same community and went to same high school). I'm clueless to the hooking up as well b/c I have been married for most of my adult life.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    Oh my goodness!! LOL! I'm new, so I wouldn't know..

    Maybe they think this is "e harmony"? LOL!!!

    If people have difficulty reading, they COULD mistake the site for, "myflirtingpal.com"


    Not speaking from personal experience...really...:indifferent:
  • ShaeDetermined
    ShaeDetermined Posts: 1,525 Member
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    Want a reality check?
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/272953-i-ve-had-a-emotional-affair

    I'm not sure I believe the poster, but if it is true its very sad what attention can do to your life.
  • RoadDog
    RoadDog Posts: 2,946 Member
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    or has anyone else noticed a trend towards "hooking up" behavior on this site? It's fairly obvious that I am married (to Clint), have kids (5 actually) and am here to monitor my consumption and fitness... why then, would I still get a phone number sent to me, an invitation to meet, etc??

    Has this happened to anyone else and if so... what is up with that?!? Whatever happened to the main focus of this site? It seems like it's being used as a social club more lately than anything else. Thoughts? :ohwell:

    I'm with you. I'm appalled. Wanna get together over drinks and talk about it?
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
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    Hit the delete button. Over and over....Problem solved.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    or has anyone else noticed a trend towards "hooking up" behavior on this site? It's fairly obvious that I am married (to Clint), have kids (5 actually) and am here to monitor my consumption and fitness... why then, would I still get a phone number sent to me, an invitation to meet, etc??

    Has this happened to anyone else and if so... what is up with that?!? Whatever happened to the main focus of this site? It seems like it's being used as a social club more lately than anything else. Thoughts? :ohwell:

    So you're saying there's a chance....

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