A lunchmeat view of working out

Azdak

I just heard about a new workout strategy that sounds really great--I read about it on the Internet, so I know it must be true.

I started putting a slice of baloney in my shoes before I work out. It's supposed to be a sure-fire way to lose weight.

I first saw it on an informercial. This really hot girl with big boobs and a guy who was all muscles showed pictures of themselves before and after--wow, it was impressive. They used the baloney plan (along with diet and exercise) to lose weight and look buff. They both said: "Try our products NOW! They're full of baloney". So I did.

Next I saw a "fitness expert" on a TV show about weight loss. She said the same thing: "I used to teach fitness classes, but now I'm all about the baloney".

Another one suggested that you change the types of baloney every few days to keep your body guessing. He called it "baloney confusion". That really made sense, cause the same old baloney every day could get stale after awhile.

Someone also said it's better to lift weights first, THEN put the baloney in your shoes. I guess you use up all your baloney reserves, so you get a more powerful effect. Hmmm....that's more baloney than I thought.

My neighbor put baloney in her shoes and ate only 500 calories a day. She lost more weight than ever.

After 2 weeks, I really feel the difference.

Now whenever anyone asks me the best way to lose weight, I tell them: "You just keep buying all that baloney they're selling. And you'll see fast results like me. "

Ashalahn_LMT

You mean everything I read on the internet isn't true?

This completely shatters everything I thought I knew.

:laugh:

taso42_DELETED

My cousin's mailman's sister in law's mechanic lost over 100 lbs from this bologna diet. IT REALLY WORKS!

godroxmysox

Haha

mkcalvert

I LOVE the diet, sign me up, and then I'd like to hear about getting rich after paying u one easy payment of $39.99!!!

Great Post

Claudia007

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

getyupcowgirl

Thanks for the laugh!

OttawaJeannie

Love the phrase "baloney confusion"

Nicely done

AI1108

I saw the same infomercial where the really hot girl was like "I'm 35 years old and I have the most bologna I've had in my life and you can too!" :laugh:

MB_Positif

Wow, that was SO hilarious...I am at work and I laughed so hard semi-internally that I snorted in a way that I never have before...not sure what to call that sound. Thanks for brightening my day...my personal favorite are the little capsules of baloney that people eat thinking that they will lose weight without changing their diet or exercising...tasty little pills...

kimmerroze

Hahaha this is awesome...

I must add that they also sell balony cleanses too... drink one glass of balony at each meal, and you are sure to drop 5 pounds the first week!


YESSSS!

rybo

But wait! There's more!

MiloBloom83

Is it Oscar Meyer Balogna or will generic balony work. I don't want to screw this up!

arewethereyet

I just heard about a new workout strategy that sounds really great--I read about it on the Internet, so I know it must be true.

I started putting a slice of baloney in my shoes before I work out. It's supposed to be a sure-fire way to lose weight.

I first saw it on an informercial. This really hot girl with big boobs and a guy who was all muscles showed pictures of themselves before and after--wow, it was impressive. They used the baloney plan (along with diet and exercise) to lose weight and look buff. They both said: "Try our products NOW! They're full of baloney". So I did.

Next I saw a "fitness expert" on a TV show about weight loss. She said the same thing: "I used to teach fitness classes, but now I'm all about the baloney".

Another one suggested that you change the types of baloney every few days to keep your body guessing. He called it "baloney confusion". That really made sense, cause the same old baloney every day could get stale after awhile.

Someone also said it's better to lift weights first, THEN put the baloney in your shoes. I guess you use up all your baloney reserves, so you get a more powerful effect. Hmmm....that's more baloney than I thought.

My neighbor put baloney in her shoes and ate only 500 calories a day. She lost more weight than ever.

After 2 weeks, I really feel the difference.

Now whenever anyone asks me the best way to lose weight, I tell them: "You just keep buying all that baloney they're selling. And you'll see fast results like me. "

Well Azdak, it is good to see the funny side of you! Great post!

Can I take my pills with the baloney????? :laugh:

arewethereyet

Butt weight! There's more!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Azdak

Is it Oscar Meyer Balogna or will generic balony work. I don't want to screw this up!

Go to www.azdakisfullofbaloney.com for my premium formula, scientifically-engineered, branched-chain, electrolyte-enhanced "RipFire B2 Performance Baloney".