Scared of skinny!!

seriousaboutlife
seriousaboutlife Posts: 177 Member
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
I don't know if I am the only one out there who is afraid to be skinny. I have had a few friends who have lost weight in the past, and have... in a sense... become someone else. Suddenly they're flaunting themselves around as if they are the only important ones in the world. I know that with weight loss comes self esteem, but I really don't want to become that person that nobody wants to be around because of arrogance. I'm a pretty down to earth person. Always want the best for others. It would kill me if others felt that way around me.

I once had a friend who picked up his wife (who had lost a ton of weight), twirled her around, and said "could your husband do this with you?" My heart sank... and I didn't know what to say (and believe me... I'm never short on words lol)

I guess it bothers me because I once had a friend who said "When I have a new house, I won't be the kind of of owner who will worry about every little dent in the wall"... and that's the same person who I have lost touch with because she is forever "touching up her walls". Seriously, we're scared to go there with our special needs son because of it.

So basically, I just don't want to become the person that I really don't like to be around. Awareness is a start, right?

Am I saying that I can't celebrate and be proud of myself? Absolutely not. I just know which friends will understand and be supportive, and there are right and wrong ways to go about celebrating successes.

Or... maybe I just need a good psychiatrist. lol

am I the only one who feels this way?
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Replies

  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
    Girl I am RIGHT here with you. I'm a little afraid of it too. I also have these strange fears that getting skinny would make me weaker somehow, or that I would break more easily. I think that all comes from a subconscious fear about the fact that losing weight makes you more vulnerable to different kinds of pain. Different is scary! But in this case, it's GOOD!
  • MrsPike07
    MrsPike07 Posts: 160
    I agree completely. I have lost touch with many friends because they lost a ton of weight and were all of a sudden "too good" for me. The fact that you are noticing this now is great, I dont think you will have anything to worry about :)
  • iTim__
    iTim__ Posts: 6,823 Member
    I vote that you just show 'em how it is done.
  • Phanessa917
    Phanessa917 Posts: 100 Member
    You probably aren't the only one that feels this. Unfortunately it happens. Some people do become someone else but the fact that you're even thinking about it and is conerned, I think you are a good person and won't become that way. It seems like you care about what others think and and you care about others... you know you wouldn't want to become a person that people don't want to be around. You will probably be that same caring person when you lose the weight, just a happier and more confidant person :)
  • mikesnwgirl
    mikesnwgirl Posts: 112
    I think it's a normal feeling. I worry about this too. I don't want to change who I am just how I look and fee. Maybe if you're aware of it then you won't act like that. I sure hope I don't and if I do I would hope someone would bring me back down to earth. It does feel good to lose weight and sometimes it's hard not to gloat. I guess you just have to be tasteful about it. Good luck to you in your weightloss journey!!
  • anthony438
    anthony438 Posts: 578 Member
    Fear of change and the unknown are both natural and expected.

    You know what you don't want, and yes that is a start.

    I'm in the same boat. The last time I was a "normal" weight was some time ago. I've built this whole persona around being the "funny fat guy" that once the weight is gone I'm not sure what I'll be.

    But I know what I don't want to be: dead wayyyy before my time.

    It's scary, and I'm unsure, but I have to try.
  • RatherBeInTheShire
    RatherBeInTheShire Posts: 561 Member
    I find that i'm still modest inside. I've lost almost 40 lbs. I'm still uncomfortable in skirts and dresses.. you never know. You might stay exactly the way you were.. i'm not sure which is worse. I should feel great about my body, but i'm still in "fat person" mode.
  • Rikki444
    Rikki444 Posts: 326 Member
    You sound to me like you are a woman who knows who she is. You are NOT defined by a number on the scale and no matter what happens to that number, your essance will not change. Don't be afraid of skinny. Do your thing and be an inspiration to others.

    cheers!
  • seriousaboutlife
    seriousaboutlife Posts: 177 Member
    I vote that you just show 'em how it is done.

    haha... LOVE it!!
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,797 Member
    i am looking forward to it :happy: i am going to change my appearance, other than my weight loss ( a bit ) but i will always be me..i think even when i was in school, and all my friends became different people, going from jr high to high school, i still stayed me, and i dont think i will ever change..best of luck, and don't be afraid of the GOOD being thinner will do for you
  • carla760
    carla760 Posts: 3 Member
    I previously lost a lot of weight *and gained it back =/* after the birth of my second child and did gain the confidence/self esteem that came with it. I never felt the arrogance, but def more self esteem! I have never been one to "flaunt" myself in anyway and think you can be the same person you are now even after you become "skinny"....You dont have to loose YOU because you loose WEIGHT!! Have faith in yourself continuously and think positive about yourself always =) Since starting this weight loss goal, I know what kind of self esteem to look forward to...feeling good about yourself or comfortable rather...is a great feeling! Good luck!!
  • BobertC
    BobertC Posts: 123
    I wouldn't worry about it there are plenty of skinny girls that are cool too. my wife is like that, but she one of those people that has never been big. I don't think you'll change if you don't want to, I'm planning on staying chill, but I might go topless more after I've lost 50 or so more lbs.
  • seriousaboutlife
    seriousaboutlife Posts: 177 Member
    I find that i'm still modest inside. I've lost almost 40 lbs. I'm still uncomfortable in skirts and dresses.. you never know. You might stay exactly the way you were.. i'm not sure which is worse. I should feel great about my body, but i'm still in "fat person" mode.

    Amazing how that "fat person" mode happens. My mom, who went down to 101 lbs (soaking wet) still felt fat. Even at my highest weight of 319, I still had quite a high self esteem.

    Modesty isn't always a bad thing. :smile:
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
    Dont worry, you are you and yes you may change slightly but it i will be for the better. You will look back on who you used to be and not relate to that person anymore. When others look at you you wont think they are looking down at you, staring at your belly or thighs but are just looking cause they can. And it shouldnt bother you.
  • seriousaboutlife
    seriousaboutlife Posts: 177 Member
    I wouldn't worry about it there are plenty of skinny girls that are cool too. my wife is like that, but she one of those people that has never been big. I don't think you'll change if you don't want to, I'm planning on staying chill, but I might go topless more after I've lost 50 or so more lbs.

    EXACTLY!!! I think that I'm just scared that my confidence will come off as arrogance. Arrogant people are my pet peeve!! lol I have always surrounded myself with skinny people, and I gotta say... they're pretty awesome too!
  • seriousaboutlife
    seriousaboutlife Posts: 177 Member
    Fear of change and the unknown are both natural and expected.

    You know what you don't want, and yes that is a start.

    I'm in the same boat. The last time I was a "normal" weight was some time ago. I've built this whole persona around being the "funny fat guy" that once the weight is gone I'm not sure what I'll be.

    But I know what I don't want to be: dead wayyyy before my time.

    It's scary, and I'm unsure, but I have to try.

    I've never been a "normal" weight... gasp. And even though I laugh and joke a lot... I'm not sure that I've ever looked at myself as the funny fat girl.... just the funny girl. lol
  • seriousaboutlife
    seriousaboutlife Posts: 177 Member
    I previously lost a lot of weight *and gained it back =/* after the birth of my second child and did gain the confidence/self esteem that came with it. I never felt the arrogance, but def more self esteem! I have never been one to "flaunt" myself in anyway and think you can be the same person you are now even after you become "skinny"....You dont have to loose YOU because you loose WEIGHT!! Have faith in yourself continuously and think positive about yourself always =) Since starting this weight loss goal, I know what kind of self esteem to look forward to...feeling good about yourself or comfortable rather...is a great feeling! Good luck!!

    Confidence is always something that I have had. My mom really ensured that we felt that we were of value. Maybe I won't change. I'll just have to change some of my jokes. lol
  • seriousaboutlife
    seriousaboutlife Posts: 177 Member
    i am looking forward to it :happy: i am going to change my appearance, other than my weight loss ( a bit ) but i will always be me..i think even when i was in school, and all my friends became different people, going from jr high to high school, i still stayed me, and i dont think i will ever change..best of luck, and don't be afraid of the GOOD being thinner will do for you

    Good for you!!! I have always stayed me too (except I put up with less crap now). :laugh:
  • Marig0ld
    Marig0ld Posts: 671 Member
    Wow...this topic really got me thinking! I guess in some ways I am scared also!

    I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and gained it all back. I guess maybe I was frustrated, since I thought being thinner would change my life dramatically. In a lot of ways it did, but I still had the same problems and stresses-- work, school, relationship, etc. I tend to use food as a coping mechanism, and that's what I did when I came to the realization that being thinner didn't solve all of my problems. Sounds twisted, but I think it's a fairly common ailment!

    Kudos to you for being considerate of others' feelings as you strive to make changes for YOU. Thank you so much for posting this and giving me some "food for thought." :-)
  • seriousaboutlife
    seriousaboutlife Posts: 177 Member
    I know that in some situations, it's how we perceive how others will see us. I still can't believe that nobody has said YES.... the psychiatrist is a good idea. lol
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