Scared of skinny!!

seriousaboutlife

I don't know if I am the only one out there who is afraid to be skinny. I have had a few friends who have lost weight in the past, and have... in a sense... become someone else. Suddenly they're flaunting themselves around as if they are the only important ones in the world. I know that with weight loss comes self esteem, but I really don't want to become that person that nobody wants to be around because of arrogance. I'm a pretty down to earth person. Always want the best for others. It would kill me if others felt that way around me.

I once had a friend who picked up his wife (who had lost a ton of weight), twirled her around, and said "could your husband do this with you?" My heart sank... and I didn't know what to say (and believe me... I'm never short on words lol)

I guess it bothers me because I once had a friend who said "When I have a new house, I won't be the kind of of owner who will worry about every little dent in the wall"... and that's the same person who I have lost touch with because she is forever "touching up her walls". Seriously, we're scared to go there with our special needs son because of it.

So basically, I just don't want to become the person that I really don't like to be around. Awareness is a start, right?

Am I saying that I can't celebrate and be proud of myself? Absolutely not. I just know which friends will understand and be supportive, and there are right and wrong ways to go about celebrating successes.

Or... maybe I just need a good psychiatrist. lol

am I the only one who feels this way?

HaleyAlli

Girl I am RIGHT here with you. I'm a little afraid of it too. I also have these strange fears that getting skinny would make me weaker somehow, or that I would break more easily. I think that all comes from a subconscious fear about the fact that losing weight makes you more vulnerable to different kinds of pain. Different is scary! But in this case, it's GOOD!

MrsPike07

I agree completely. I have lost touch with many friends because they lost a ton of weight and were all of a sudden "too good" for me. The fact that you are noticing this now is great, I dont think you will have anything to worry about

iTim__

I vote that you just show 'em how it is done.

Phanessa917

You probably aren't the only one that feels this. Unfortunately it happens. Some people do become someone else but the fact that you're even thinking about it and is conerned, I think you are a good person and won't become that way. It seems like you care about what others think and and you care about others... you know you wouldn't want to become a person that people don't want to be around. You will probably be that same caring person when you lose the weight, just a happier and more confidant person

mikesnwgirl

I think it's a normal feeling. I worry about this too. I don't want to change who I am just how I look and fee. Maybe if you're aware of it then you won't act like that. I sure hope I don't and if I do I would hope someone would bring me back down to earth. It does feel good to lose weight and sometimes it's hard not to gloat. I guess you just have to be tasteful about it. Good luck to you in your weightloss journey!!

anthony438

Fear of change and the unknown are both natural and expected.

You know what you don't want, and yes that is a start.

I'm in the same boat. The last time I was a "normal" weight was some time ago. I've built this whole persona around being the "funny fat guy" that once the weight is gone I'm not sure what I'll be.

But I know what I don't want to be: dead wayyyy before my time.

It's scary, and I'm unsure, but I have to try.

RatherBeInTheShire

I find that i'm still modest inside. I've lost almost 40 lbs. I'm still uncomfortable in skirts and dresses.. you never know. You might stay exactly the way you were.. i'm not sure which is worse. I should feel great about my body, but i'm still in "fat person" mode.

Rikki444

You sound to me like you are a woman who knows who she is. You are NOT defined by a number on the scale and no matter what happens to that number, your essance will not change. Don't be afraid of skinny. Do your thing and be an inspiration to others.

cheers!

seriousaboutlife

I vote that you just show 'em how it is done.

haha... LOVE it!!

leomom72

i am looking forward to it :happy: i am going to change my appearance, other than my weight loss ( a bit ) but i will always be me..i think even when i was in school, and all my friends became different people, going from jr high to high school, i still stayed me, and i dont think i will ever change..best of luck, and don't be afraid of the GOOD being thinner will do for you

carla760

I previously lost a lot of weight *and gained it back =/* after the birth of my second child and did gain the confidence/self esteem that came with it. I never felt the arrogance, but def more self esteem! I have never been one to "flaunt" myself in anyway and think you can be the same person you are now even after you become "skinny"....You dont have to loose YOU because you loose WEIGHT!! Have faith in yourself continuously and think positive about yourself always Since starting this weight loss goal, I know what kind of self esteem to look forward to...feeling good about yourself or comfortable rather...is a great feeling! Good luck!!

BobertC

I wouldn't worry about it there are plenty of skinny girls that are cool too. my wife is like that, but she one of those people that has never been big. I don't think you'll change if you don't want to, I'm planning on staying chill, but I might go topless more after I've lost 50 or so more lbs.

seriousaboutlife

I find that i'm still modest inside. I've lost almost 40 lbs. I'm still uncomfortable in skirts and dresses.. you never know. You might stay exactly the way you were.. i'm not sure which is worse. I should feel great about my body, but i'm still in "fat person" mode.

Amazing how that "fat person" mode happens. My mom, who went down to 101 lbs (soaking wet) still felt fat. Even at my highest weight of 319, I still had quite a high self esteem.

Modesty isn't always a bad thing.

ChantalGG

Dont worry, you are you and yes you may change slightly but it i will be for the better. You will look back on who you used to be and not relate to that person anymore. When others look at you you wont think they are looking down at you, staring at your belly or thighs but are just looking cause they can. And it shouldnt bother you.

seriousaboutlife

I wouldn't worry about it there are plenty of skinny girls that are cool too. my wife is like that, but she one of those people that has never been big. I don't think you'll change if you don't want to, I'm planning on staying chill, but I might go topless more after I've lost 50 or so more lbs.

EXACTLY!!! I think that I'm just scared that my confidence will come off as arrogance. Arrogant people are my pet peeve!! lol I have always surrounded myself with skinny people, and I gotta say... they're pretty awesome too!

seriousaboutlife

Fear of change and the unknown are both natural and expected.

You know what you don't want, and yes that is a start.

I'm in the same boat. The last time I was a "normal" weight was some time ago. I've built this whole persona around being the "funny fat guy" that once the weight is gone I'm not sure what I'll be.

But I know what I don't want to be: dead wayyyy before my time.

It's scary, and I'm unsure, but I have to try.

I've never been a "normal" weight... gasp. And even though I laugh and joke a lot... I'm not sure that I've ever looked at myself as the funny fat girl.... just the funny girl. lol

seriousaboutlife

I previously lost a lot of weight *and gained it back =/* after the birth of my second child and did gain the confidence/self esteem that came with it. I never felt the arrogance, but def more self esteem! I have never been one to "flaunt" myself in anyway and think you can be the same person you are now even after you become "skinny"....You dont have to loose YOU because you loose WEIGHT!! Have faith in yourself continuously and think positive about yourself always Since starting this weight loss goal, I know what kind of self esteem to look forward to...feeling good about yourself or comfortable rather...is a great feeling! Good luck!!

Confidence is always something that I have had. My mom really ensured that we felt that we were of value. Maybe I won't change. I'll just have to change some of my jokes. lol

seriousaboutlife

i am looking forward to it :happy: i am going to change my appearance, other than my weight loss ( a bit ) but i will always be me..i think even when i was in school, and all my friends became different people, going from jr high to high school, i still stayed me, and i dont think i will ever change..best of luck, and don't be afraid of the GOOD being thinner will do for you

Good for you!!! I have always stayed me too (except I put up with less crap now). :laugh:

Marig0ld

Wow...this topic really got me thinking! I guess in some ways I am scared also!

I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and gained it all back. I guess maybe I was frustrated, since I thought being thinner would change my life dramatically. In a lot of ways it did, but I still had the same problems and stresses-- work, school, relationship, etc. I tend to use food as a coping mechanism, and that's what I did when I came to the realization that being thinner didn't solve all of my problems. Sounds twisted, but I think it's a fairly common ailment!

Kudos to you for being considerate of others' feelings as you strive to make changes for YOU. Thank you so much for posting this and giving me some "food for thought." :-)

seriousaboutlife

I know that in some situations, it's how we perceive how others will see us. I still can't believe that nobody has said YES.... the psychiatrist is a good idea. lol

seriousaboutlife

Wow...this topic really got me thinking! I guess in some ways I am scared also!

I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and gained it all back. I guess maybe I was frustrated, since I thought being thinner would change my life dramatically. In a lot of ways it did, but I still had the same problems and stresses-- work, school, relationship, etc. I tend to use food as a coping mechanism, and that's what I did when I came to the realization that being thinner didn't solve all of my problems. Sounds twisted, but I think it's a fairly common ailment!

Kudos to you for being considerate of others' feelings as you strive to make changes for YOU. Thank you so much for posting this and giving me some "food for thought." :-)

I think that sometimes we strive to keep others happy, and lose focus on what makes us happy. We tend to do that too often. I also lost 80 in the past, and gained 40 back when my son's leukemia returned. Stress eater!!! Now... it's time to focus on me again! Glad you're doing the same!

hardenedheartx

I have the same fear. I have lost a ton of weight and still have some more to go, but honestly, I still feel like the fat kid. I still don't feel like a skinny person even though I am now a healthy weight and wear a size 6 for the first time in I can't remember how long. I feel like a part of me will always feel like the fat kid no matter how much a weigh. I hope that prevents me from becoming a snobby, skinny person.

Pebble321

I'm scared of skinny - not because I might change, but scared I won't be able to stay there.
Like lots of people, I've lost weight before and then piled it back on again, so I'm scared of going back there.
I know exactly what to do to stay at a healthy weight but I'm scared that I can't do it long term. I guess I'm scared that I will fail.

seriousaboutlife

I have the same fear. I have lost a ton of weight and still have some more to go, but honestly, I still feel like the fat kid. I still don't feel like a skinny person even though I am now a healthy weight and wear a size 6 for the first time in I can't remember how long. I feel like a part of me will always feel like the fat kid no matter how much a weigh. I hope that prevents me from becoming a snobby, skinny person.

Just from reading your post.. I really don't think that will happen. I know a lot of really cool skinny people too.

seriousaboutlife

I'm scared of skinny - not because I might change, but scared I won't be able to stay there.
Like lots of people, I've lost weight before and then piled it back on again, so I'm scared of going back there.
I know exactly what to do to stay at a healthy weight but I'm scared that I can't do it long term. I guess I'm scared that I will fail.

You're not alone. Fear of failure is why a lot of people give up. Just live day by day! Wake up every morning saying "today... is going to be a GREAT day!!!". If you fall 7 times, get up 8. Believe in yourself.

IMYarnCraz33

nope you're definitely not alone on this one.
Thank you for sharing your concerns.
I don't want to become that type of person either.
I want to be the one that remembers where she came from,
and to be compassionate toward other people and to encourage
and uplift them in their struggles.

Hollycat

Here's another twist to this. Sometimes we don't behave much differently after becoming slim, but others perceive our behaviour as being different...they're looking for the changes they expect and find them whether they're there or not...

Hollycat
:flowerforyou:

seriousaboutlife

nope you're definitely not alone on this one.
Thank you for sharing your concerns.
I don't want to become that type of person either.
I want to be the one that remembers where she came from,
and to be compassionate toward other people and to encourage
and uplift them in their struggles.

I totally agree!

seriousaboutlife

Here's another twist to this. Sometimes we don't behave much differently after becoming slim, but others perceive our behaviour as being different...they're looking for the changes they expect and find them whether they're there or not...

Hollycat
:flowerforyou:

I agree... to an extent. I guess I just had the wrong person flaunt their weighloss in my face. LOL!!! Most are probably not like that!

craft338

just look at your reasons for wanting to get in shape. Nowhere does it say "because i wanna look super hot in a little black dress" or "so i can wear a bikini". you're here for the right reasons and you will not change into "one of those". you're on the right track, and just the fact that you're worried about changing into someone else, is a big sign that you're NOT going to :flowerforyou:

good luck!!!