How to be more feminine?

jmgj27

Any other women out there always felt quite masculine? I think a lot of it was weight-related for me but I'm still tall and quite broad-shouldered and DEFINITELY am more male when it comes to emotions. Please don't make me talk about them. Ever.

Anyway - since I'm sort of keeping an eye out for single guys I think showing them that I have giant chocolate salty balls puts them off! Any tips (and yes, I do wear dresses and heels sometimes I promise!). :flowerforyou:

anubis609

Keep your salty balls as smooth as eggs and you should be good to go.

bjohs

I was always a tomboy growing up. I relate to men better than women too. Football, beer and filthy jokes - that's how I roll. But as I started getting older, I found my softer side. I'm still rough around the edges, but that's okay. The sexiest part about being a woman is being comfortable in your own skin, having confidence in who you are and liking the person you are becoming. Men will notice that. The one's who are not afraid of that confidence are the real keepers. Good luck to you!

JeffGDDG

Seriously? Just be yourself. Everyone will be happier (including YOU) in the long run.

xNightguestx

I always felt like that until I did Zumba, the latin moves make you feel sexy...maybe some sort of dance classes might help? I think for me it was more of a confidence thing and thats why the dancing helped

shibby1011ph

Having broad-shoulders shouldn't be a problem. I suggest wearing more shoulder-revealing feminine clothes such as a halter top, a one-shoulder mini-dress or a strapless sundress to accentuate your lovely shoulders and arms. Go for girly colors in pastel shades.

Keep your hair long and layered to make it more girly.

As for your height, don't worry about it --- wear those stilettos like a supermodel!

And always wear make-up, it's a girl's best friend!

usmcmp

I am not built super feminine, not petite and have muscles. I go shopping with my girly friends who help me accentuate the feminie qualities I have. Makeup and hair are the biggest factors to looking feminine. I suggest finding a great salon then a beautiful girl at a makeup counter.

jmgj27

I will definitely keep my eggs smooth - don't you worry!

Thanks for the advice though - I just get fed up with always being the one with the biggest cahones in any room! I'm a lawyer and my colleagues are mostly men. I just know that even when I'm wearing killer heels and a lovely dress, they treat me like one of the lads and when I go out guys never approach me because they're terrified. Sigh. I need to go to America again. I love American guys!

jessielynn4

I never knew it was at all weight related for me...but I grew up always being heavy and I HATED all thigns girly, especially pink. Something took ahold of me over the years though. I am 36, at my smallest weight ever and pink has become my favorite color. GO FIGURE.

I agree with everyone here thats the most important thing is how comfortable YOU feel about yourself....sexy is a state of mind.

Selly7749

Just be yourself!

You don't have to conform to anybody's idea of femininity, you are a woman, and you define what that means for yourself, rather than letting anyone do it for you. I think femininity is a construct, and sometimes it's a good thing, and it makes people feel empowered and sexy, but often, I think it's just something people (women as well as men!) use to control women - you don't need to let it control you Any member of the opposite sex worth being with will want you as you are.

jessielynn4

PS..you sound like you should take up roller derby...you are already badass....I bet you'd LOVE that!

supertracylynn

Psh. I'm such a man. I have an athletic build, don't like talking about emotions, and am sarcastic nearly all the time.

Except I OWN it. This is me, I am. Confident in myself and all that good jazz.

And guys love it. (though I am quite married) I figure it's because they wish they were this awesome too.

perrytyra

First, I just want to say congratulations on your weight loss! You seem to be doing really good there.

Next, just being confidant helps a lot. From your picture, you look like a pretty girl. Just be yourself, and you fill find the guy that is right for you. If you really feel that you need more help than that, look to your friends who you think are more girly and ask them for some tips.

I have a 15 year old who used to wear baggy clothes, and when she finally started wearing clothes that fit better, we could see that she had a great body, and were going to have to chase all the boys away. She doesn't like a lot of girly things, but she has started wearing more feminine clothes, and even started wearing mascara.

perrytyra

First, I just want to say congratulations on your weight loss! You seem to be doing really good there.

Next, just being confident helps a lot. From your picture, you look like a pretty girl. Just be yourself, and you will find the guy that is right for you. If you really feel that you need more help than that, look to your friends who you think are more girly and ask them for some tips.

I have a 15 year old who used to wear baggy clothes, and when she finally started wearing clothes that fit better, we could see that she had a great body, and were going to have to chase all the boys away. She doesn't like a lot of girly things, but she has started wearing more feminine clothes, and even started wearing mascara.

Lorisue1962

I relate. I have looked at dainty girls all of my life and compared myself to them.it's a problem. It has caused me to feel less than - the way I view myself has made me feel awkward in my own self. I am learning though who I really am ; internally now (through counselling) I am a child of God. A female child of His. He made no mistakes whatsoever; so I am very much a girl. I have not done my part to care for my body; which IS the temple of the Lord, it does not belong to me, it is only mine to care for. Boy have I failed in that area. The YoYo dieting queen that I am, has never taken me to a permanent place of self care. I have looked back and realized that changes I have made along the way in many areas were ONLY PERMANENT when they were covered in prayer and based on Gods will for me. So this time, my diet is all about Him, and others. This time my transformation is for all of the right reasons. After I have done my part I believe that I will feel as feminine and lovely on the inside, as I will on the outside. This will be my prayer for you too - my new friend !

SassyStef

I will definitely keep my eggs smooth - don't you worry!

Thanks for the advice though - I just get fed up with always being the one with the biggest cahones in any room! I'm a lawyer and my colleagues are mostly men. I just know that even when I'm wearing killer heels and a lovely dress, they treat me like one of the lads and when I go out guys never approach me because they're terrified. Sigh. I need to go to America again. I love American guys!

totally know what you mean. I can be over 6ft with shoes on and I am athletic and can't take the whiny baby crap from plp. I have a saying...put your big girl underwear on and deal with it....lol I was never approached by men and I had just come to terms with it. Guys who dont approach you, trust me you dont wanna date!! They are scared for a reason and a scared man is not one worth having. You will find a guy or they guy who can handle all of you and love you the way you are dont give in or change your personality!

Zeromilediet

There are actually men out there with the confidence to be attracted to a woman who's not the prototypical princess. Don't go remaking yourself because it's not sustainable ... Get fit, healthy and happy and the right guy will show up on your radar.

NYgeorgiapeach

It's all about how you see yourself. If you imagine yourself as manly, well you will be. Although I don't have broad shoulders and am the farthest thing from tall, I completely relate to you on the feelings front. More girlfriends is probably your best bet. Find some that you relate to (girls who tend to relate to men more than women are the ones I tend to be really good friends with) but have learned to balance out their strong side with the feminine side. These kind of women will help you feel more girly and you won't be going out with a bunch of guys. I've found that when you go out with men, other men don't go near you. Wear those heels and a short skirt but wear them with complete confidence. There is nothing sexier than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin.

SailingMike

I am a lawyer also.

I think you have had some terrific advice here. Be yourself, but work on your feminine side. That does not mean to be weak or fearful or dumb. Just be appropriately sexy, kind and let your date open your door, offer his hand, and pay for your dinner.

My oldest daughter has always been the tom boy and she is working on these things as well as learning how much fun flirting can be.

You sound like a great catch.... you just need to find the right fisherman!

sunkisses

I feel ya. I look around and I feel out of place with other women unless they're women who know me well. I understand feeling more masculine, despite my diminutive stature and being referred to as "cute" even into my 30s.

These things have helped me feel more like a girl and less like "one of the guys".

I've tried to step it up a notch and find a style in fashion that I like, regardless of whether or not it's feminine - as long as I can represent my personality in small ways and learn to enjoy it a little more. I flip through women/girl magazines at the store and look at the ways they dress and try to adopt the parts that I like.

I recently decided I'd start either straightening my hair or using hot rollers if I'm going to be somewhere in public for longer than an hour.

I also put on mascara to achieve that apparent flirty eyelash that makes everyone else so pretty I wear makeup if I'm going to go out on a date or with the girls. But the makeup remains natural looking. I don't do the whole smokey eye and pink cheeks thing. I also wear lipgloss or lipstick every day.

sunkisses

ooh ohh and go listen to Kimya Dawson's "I Like Giants" song. There are many great lines, but my favorite is "All girls feel too big sometimes, regardless of their size."

celiamj

Hi! I think the most important thing is to have is confidence, show that you like yourself, and be nice! Its good to have a well treated hair, skin and nails, wear a bit of perfume and some accessory to make you feel more confident
You could also get a feminin magazine once in a while to keep track of fashion tips, and what to dress to enhance your best features (you dont need to show more skin)...

jmgj27

Thanks ladies and I will totally try a bunch of your suggestions but I do wish British guys had a bit more va-va-voom about them and wouldn't always be so shy and awkward (until they've had a skinful!). I guess I just fall down on the approachable side of it _ I genuinely don't get how to walk that fine line between approachable and too approachable!

onlyrobey1

"giant chocolate salty balls "

Hahaha!

JEK717

Haha i am a total tomboy. I never wear dresses or skirts. Dont wear makeup or earrings. Hate carrying purses. Hate talking about my feelings. Love getting dirty.

Never thought this was a bad thing.

boomboom011

yep. im not a really girly girl. never have been. i just decided a long time ago this is me and someone will love me for it. Sure enough i have a great husband.