Why do people have to be so negative about something so posi

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Minnesnowtagurl
Minnesnowtagurl Posts: 406 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello My Fitness Pals! Bit of a rant, but here it goes if your are interested...

So I have managed to stick to my weight loss journey and lose 60lbs over a year now. Which as many know is not a very easy road. Recently I posted a picture on my Facebook of a new and improved me. My mother and sister told me that they were "talking" about how they are proud of me but that they hope I have not become obsessive and "better not get too skinny and look like my head is too big for my body." Also I posted something about running 4 miles and my sister adds a comment that says "Okay, well I hope you don't blow away with that bad weather we've been having." <---- RUDE!

I was also talking to my best friend and she tells me that someone saw me at a party and suggested that I must be "popping Phentermine pills like the other girls" .....Seriously? What ever happen to good old hard *kitten* kickin gym work outs and Cardio? It still exist and I am proof.

It just floors me sometimes that people rather say negative things then to commend you. Also to rather give you an eye roll when you turn down something fatty then to say "You know what ? That's great that you don't want any greasy potato chips and are taking charge of your health."

I am changing my life style for myself (mostly, but also to be a role model for my daughter). I wanted the change because I was unhappy and saw an ugly person in the mirror and no one can change that feeling except for me. So I took charge and the more and more I hear the comments I am starting to understand people are honestly jealous of managing to stick to something that takes major dedication.
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Replies

  • sammys1girly
    sammys1girly Posts: 1,045 Member
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    I think those kind of people are either jealous or just don't get it b/c they have no commitment to being healthy and it probably makes them feel guilty. I would just smile sweetly and tell everyone you're just fine and ignore it.
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
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    I think some people just don't know how to compliment someone on weight loss. They may be jealous because you succeeded where they failed. They may think you are complimenting you when they say things like you might blow away. Some people have the idea that if you turn down junk, you must have some kind of disorder or are just uptight about your food.

    There is nothing wrong with being in control of your body and your life. You've done such a good job, don't let others ruin your high! You are a fantastic role model because you've done this the right way. They are just going to have to used to the new you!
  • yeabby
    yeabby Posts: 643 Member
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    You look great! The hard work is definitely paying off. Keep it up.
  • welloiledmachine
    welloiledmachine Posts: 1,147 Member
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    I hear you. The people who give negative comments are those who are lazy. If it was easy, everybody would do it. Good for you for doing what's right. Keep up the good work. I take all negative comments as jealousy and laziness. You have to realize that a majority of the population are unhealthy and we are the minority. I ignore comments like that.
    Best of luck.
  • VegGrrl
    VegGrrl Posts: 336 Member
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    I think those kind of people are either jealous or just don't get it b/c they have no commitment to being healthy and it probably makes them feel guilty. I would just smile sweetly and tell everyone you're just fine and ignore it.

    Exactly. Try to let it roll off you like a duck does water. I always feel kinda sad for folks like that actually - why can't they share your joy instead of trying to bring you down? Their lives must be very sad if that's how their brains work...

    Your accomplishments are awesome BTW!!!
  • ProudMomoftwo
    ProudMomoftwo Posts: 525
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    Sorry you are going through this.
    You look amazing !!

    Lead them by your good example.
    Talk up what you have been doing ( the running, the gym, the healthy eating ) and let them join or not but YOU keep pushing forward toward your goal.
    They aren't committed to this lifestyle and so they aren't going to GET IT.
    We get it and we support you 110%.

    Keep on ...keepin' on...
  • foodforfuel
    foodforfuel Posts: 569 Member
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    Well, I am here to tell you YOU LOOK FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that doesn't come easy- you've done an excellent job!!!! :drinker:
  • rebysue
    rebysue Posts: 136
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    I had a similar experience. You can read about it here: http://gettingitbacktogether.blogspot.com/2009/12/that-was-short-lived.html

    The most helpful part for me was the comments on that post. They are definitely worth reading. The first one in particular I think hits the nail on the head. I have kept my weight off for a year and a half now and those types of comments have stopped. But I really think people are afraid of change.

    Keep your head up! You're doing awesome!! Don't ever let anyone make you think or feel any differently! :happy:
  • waterjogger
    waterjogger Posts: 114
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    Sounds like they're a tad bit jealous of you. If someone told me I might blow away I'd probably take that as a compliment. There are also so many fad diets and gimmicks promising fast weight loss maybe they want to know which one you did since it worked so well. Whatever reason, just keep on doing what you've been doing and don't let them get you down. :flowerforyou:
  • AmyLRussell
    AmyLRussell Posts: 16
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    You are working your @ss off and deserve every single lb. you lose! Keep up your hard work!
    They are just jealous.... some people don't get that if you eat less and move more you can loose weight without supplements :0)
  • 4KidFather
    4KidFather Posts: 134
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    Stick to your own health and fitness journey. Don't worry about other folks' negativity.
    I've had similar experiences AND WORSE!!! From Health care providers to family even. It's part of human life unfortunately . It may help you re-assess some relationships BUT stick to your guns! People are obviously watching and you may be silently inspiring others. The more people you can help the better.

    To your health :)
    Way to go!
  • brickok
    brickok Posts: 117 Member
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    Congratulations to you!!!
    I so understand where you are coming from.
    I am down 67 lbs. in almost a year and last weekend I was at my mom's and they had snacks out and I had taken a Ritz toasted something or other just to taste it and my mom was like "you can't eat that, it's not a fruit or veggie" I was like I can eat what I want but in moderation. Later I heard her say to my sister that they should probably put the snacks away so I won't snitch anymore.
    Some people are proud of my accomplishment and others that are total downers.
    I have gotten to the point where it doesn't matter.
    I am feeling GREAT, I can exercise and do things without being out of breath, and I look GREAT!!! (jmo)
    Keep doing what your doing!!!!
  • editara13
    editara13 Posts: 384 Member
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    That is simple, everyone is jealous and they don't like you being in control of yourself, so just keep your strength at the same level as now and after you achieve your goal you are gonna feel like you are flying. You are doing a great job taking care in a healthy way of you and only you..... :-)


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  • Katie320
    Katie320 Posts: 61 Member
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    First of all, you've done a fantastic job! You know this and that's the most important thing. Second, honestly, I think a lot of people are scared of change and they want to maintain the status quo in their lives. If you've lost weight and become healthier then it just reminds them that they should probably do the same. They don't want to, so instead of looking inward they channel the negative feelings towards you.

    Just keep going and hopefully they will get over their negativity.
  • Mnonan
    Mnonan Posts: 38
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    Well, you look great. People are totally jealous. Don't listen to what other people say or think.
  • CharlieBarleyMom
    CharlieBarleyMom Posts: 727 Member
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    Although your mom and your sister's words weren't jumping off the page as positive, you might just need to give them a little time to realize that you've done something great and still are. It's hard for other people (who feel left out, whether you asked them to join or not) to be happy for you when you're changing your life and they're not. They don't mean to be rude but give them a little time... they may only know how to make "jokes" in order to try to encourage you (blow away - yeah, that's silly, but probably not meant to be rude)
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
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    I agree with the other comments. Just wanted to also add that most people know very little about fitness, diet, and exercise. (Heck, the amount of misinformation in these forums is pretty noticeable, and these are the people who really care about this stuff). They think they do, because of how much these topics are discussed in the popular media.

    Just look around you--most people want to lose weight, but they are unsure about how to do it or not ready to really commit. When someone around them loses weight, it just reinforces their feelings of "failure". Part of the awkward/negative comments I think are just part of their coping mechanism to deal with their lack of success.

    We have all had to deal with it. When I worked in Cardiac Rehab 25 years ago (I was in my 30s), a common refrain from the overweight guys was "you don't understand; you're just naturally thin". The answer (which I couldn't say out loud) was "No--the difference between you and me is the 40-50 miles I run per week". Later, when I stopped exercising regularly and gained 60-70 pounds I unfortunately proved myself correct ;-(

    Now, it's still the first topic of conversation with many of my neighbors whenever we talk--even 2 years later.

    I guess I'd rather put up with goofy and rude comments and stay fit and thin rather than the alternative.

    But this is the place to let it all out--many of us have been there, too. We'll give you all the positive strokes you need. :drinker:
  • startlosingstartliving
    startlosingstartliving Posts: 26
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    I totally understand where you're coming from! My (guy) friend told me that I looked nice and I said that I had lost 30 pounds and he says, "Well, I've lost 50." He didn't even lose weight though. He just told me he did so I'd feel inferior to him (he's overweight). I didn't know that losing weight was a competition!
  • fairfieldbeach
    fairfieldbeach Posts: 261 Member
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    My mom does something similar to me. And so does my brother. For Mom, it's because she likes to feed me--for my brother, he just likes to criticize me. Forget it and come on here for lots of positive reinforcement! :flowerforyou:
  • TheTeeWhy
    TheTeeWhy Posts: 186
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    Well, I agree with some of the people here, most dont know how to compliment someone on weight loss cause its so different to what theyre used to seeing in some cases. My problem is when someone doesnt understand weightloss and how it works so its like 'eh you can treat yourself' and assumes treat means eat every single thing on the dollar menu or something.

    Hell when I'm on my kicks like this and am taking health seriously, I ******** hate the very idea of fast food, cause I feel as if it basically kills off any of the progress I made by trying to actually ya know, not be a fat piglet :)

    Just shrug off the negative people, they'll make a comment and then theyre done with it, yet if you get mad about their comment you're mad for a while, whereas they sit there like whatever. -shrug-

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