Joke Time... yea!!

jamerz3294

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new
store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by,
put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior
walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked 'What are you sellin' here?'
One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling @$$-holes.'
Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, 'You're doing well. Only two left.
:laugh: :happy: :bigsmile: :drinker:

jamerz3294

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new
store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by,
put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior
walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked 'What are you sellin' here?'
One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling @$$-holes.'
Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, 'You're doing well. Only two left.
:laugh: :happy: :bigsmile: :drinker:

Marla64

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?

Art.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying on the floor?

Matt.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the swimming pool?

Bob.

What do you call a man with no feet?

Neil.

What do you call a one legged woman?

Eileen?

What do you call her in China?

Irene.

Ba da bump-- that's all I got--

EvilPIB

A computer Nerd must have devised this!

Go to the below link click on play, then leave the mouse alone.

Sit back and enjoy a piece of creative brilliance.




http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs13/f/2007/077/2/e/Animator_vs__Animation_by_alanbecker.swf

jamerz3294

That was amazing!

kellch

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Thanks for the morning laugh guys and gals:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

kellch

ehhh hemmmm.....

Ok ok ok...her's what I got...courtesy of my MIL to be emails :bigsmile:

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People--
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks and engines. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You have to shave only your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it

TeeHee!!! :laugh: (I wish I could figure out how to copy the pics from my email...its a guy dancin around with his belly hangin out but when I hit properties of the picture it doesn't give me a link or address)

arewethereyet

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

SoupNazi

:laugh: :drinker:

Shannon023

I love these little sarcastic cards. :laugh:

emibmas

I love these little sarcastic cards. :laugh:

They are funny, because they are true.:drinker:

Losing_It

mommared53

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: A good way to start the day. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

kellch

I love these little sarcastic cards. :laugh:

Is this card referring to anyone I know? :devil: :smokin:

Anna_Banana

lol:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

SoupNazi

I love these little sarcastic cards. :laugh:

{{gasp}}

are we?

:bigsmile:

TamTastic

I love these little sarcastic cards. :laugh:

Don't you just love our little commune........errrr....community??? :laugh:

Shannon023

I love these little sarcastic cards. :laugh:

{{gasp}}

are we?

:bigsmile:

{{pulls hood down}}

Of course not, soon-to-be-sacrificial-lamb. :bigsmile:

{{pulls hood back up}}

kellch

I love these little sarcastic cards. :laugh:

{{gasp}}

are we?

:bigsmile:

{{pulls hood down}}

Of course not, soon-to-be-sacrificial-lamb. :bigsmile:

{{pulls hood back up}}

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
*wipes sweat from forehead* I was hoping I wasn't next:smokin:

Shannon023

I love these little sarcastic cards. :laugh:

{{gasp}}

are we?

:bigsmile:

{{pulls hood down}}

Of course not, soon-to-be-sacrificial-lamb. :bigsmile:

{{pulls hood back up}}

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
*wipes sweat from forehead* I was hoping I wasn't next:smokin:

No, remember? Paper covers rock , you're good.....for now.......

kellch

I love these little sarcastic cards. :laugh:

{{gasp}}

are we?

:bigsmile:

{{pulls hood down}}

Of course not, soon-to-be-sacrificial-lamb. :bigsmile:

{{pulls hood back up}}

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
*wipes sweat from forehead* I was hoping I wasn't next:smokin:

No, remember? Paper covers rock , you're good.....for now.......

Whewww!!! (psssssssssst...I'm stealing that smilie too:smokin: ) Ummmmmmm....Max and B4 are ahead of me too, right? :ohwell:

I can't download them here so when I quote and there's one I like I have to copy and paste the link to a Word document:ohwell: :laugh:

Shannon023

Whewww!!! (psssssssssst...I'm stealing that smilie too:smokin: ) Ummmmmmm....Max and B4 are ahead of me too, right? :ohwell:

I can't download them here so when I quote and there's one I like I have to copy and past the link to a Word document:ohwell: :laugh:

I have a special ceremony in mind for B4. :bigsmile:

kellch

Whewww!!! (psssssssssst...I'm stealing that smilie too:smokin: ) Ummmmmmm....Max and B4 are ahead of me too, right? :ohwell:

I can't download them here so when I quote and there's one I like I have to copy and past the link to a Word document:ohwell: :laugh:

I have a special ceremony in mind for B4. :bigsmile:

Muahahahahahahaha!!! :devil: :smokin: I bet you do :bigsmile:

Had to edit what I really wanted to say :devil:

Shannon023

Whewww!!! (psssssssssst...I'm stealing that smilie too:smokin: ) Ummmmmmm....Max and B4 are ahead of me too, right? :ohwell:

I can't download them here so when I quote and there's one I like I have to copy and past the link to a Word document:ohwell: :laugh:

I have a special ceremony in mind for B4. :bigsmile:

Muahahahahahahaha!!! :devil: :smokin: I bet you do :bigsmile:

Had to edit what I really wanted to say :devil:

:laugh: :laugh:

jamerz3294

Whewww!!! (psssssssssst...I'm stealing that smilie too:smokin: ) Ummmmmmm....Max and B4 are ahead of me too, right? :ohwell:

I can't download them here so when I quote and there's one I like I have to copy and past the link to a Word document:ohwell: :laugh:

I have a special ceremony in mind for B4. :bigsmile:

Muahahahahahahaha!!! :devil: :smokin: I bet you do :bigsmile:

Had to edit what I really wanted to say :devil:

:laugh: :laugh:

Is this when we hafta sever all ties with family and friends? :noway: :grumble: :glasses:

Shannon023

[Is this when we hafta sever all ties with family and friends? :noway: :grumble: :glasses:

Do not resist THE FAMILY, Jamerz. :devil:

jamerz3294

[Is this when we hafta sever all ties with family and friends? :noway: :grumble: :glasses:

Do not resist THE FAMILY, Jamerz. :devil:

my kind of family values *giggle