If anyone has some good advice, I'm all ears!!!

arabella66

I posted this as my blog this morning and then realized, no one may ever see it. So, I am reposting it in the forums in hope of finding someone, anyone that might have some suggestions/advice.

I thought it might be helpful to share a little about how my day operates. I work 11pm-7am Sunday thru Thursday. I am off on Friday and Saturday. This is a very stressful place I work. Not because of the job itself (how stressful can a job be where your entire job description takes maybe an hour- and that's only if I stregth it out) no the stress come from my boss and the owners. These are very verbally and emotionally/mentally abusive. I have a boss that will, with no problem, throw any of us under the bus to save herself. I literally hate my job. I dread Sunday nights...anyway, no need to go into too much detail about that. Anyway, I get off work at 7am, go home, and depending on what time my daughter needs to be at work, I go to bed for a few hours. I get up around 11 or so (so I can babysit my grandson) come out to the couch and lay back down. My grandson is 5, very independent and self entertaining. I always fall back to sleep on the couch. (I can not even begin to express the guilt I feel over this) I am just always so tired. I put a movie on for him or his cartoon line up. He wakes up when he is hungry and I get up and make his lunch. then when he lays down to take his nap, I lay back down too. The only time this doesn't happen is on Wednesday when we go to the library and have a picnic in the park. When my daughter gets home from work (anywhere between 6and 6:30 pm) I go back to bed until 9 and then get up to take a shower and get ready for work. I am ALWAYS tired. The weekends aren't much better. I suffer from PCOS, PTSD, Type 2 Diabetes and Depression/Anxiety. I don't like taking meds. I take just the bare minimum (metforman, zocor and vitamins) I hate the way I live right now. I know it take 21 days to make/break a habit. I walked yesterday morning, in spite of my headache (which i still have) and I PLAN on walking a little when I get home this morning. I am going to do my best to do this every morning. I have to change my dynamics here. This current lifestyle is not doing me any good.

nhendri

Oh I had a job like this not too long ago. I searched and searched than applied and applied. 1 1/2 yr later I got a new job. I cannot explain the change it made in my life. I work with positive people who appreciate me, I havent felt appreciated in such a long time. As for graveyard shift they are so hard and hard on you. My mom works them and she used to watch my daughter when she was younger, until I saw how sleep deprived she was. I put my daughter in daycare (no matter how bad my mother and I did not want her there) in the end my moms health was more important and so was the safety of my daughter. I would highly suggest finding another job and if your daughter is ok with it putting your grandson in kindergarten part time or daycare.

hstallings13

I work night shift as well and it is rougher than anyone who works days can imagine. Right now due to summer break from school I am getting to sleep from about 10:30am-2:30pm daily. I won't lie, I am still on the diet Pepsi's more than I should be. But I have found that working out when I wake has helped a lot. I get up everyday and go for my walk/run. It has given me more energy and keeps me feeling better longer. There is no easy fix when you can't manage to get the sleep you need espically for night shifters. I really hope you get to feeling better soon

bhb301

You need another job. It seems to be like there is no other option... Sorry that I don't have any other advice

hstallings13

oh and something else that helped was stopping the caffine hits about 2-3 hours before I get to crash and NOT working out before I go to bed. Sleeping in the day isn't your body's normal pattern so cutting those two things out really helped the quality of my sleep as well.

queenstatus

MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO START SMALL. HOW ARE UR EATING PATTERNS? MAKE IT A DAILY PART OF YOUR DAY. YOU SAY U DRIVE INSTEAD OF DRIVING RIGHT UP TO THE DOOR FOR WORK, PARK YOUR CAR 5-10 BLOCKS AWAY FROM THE JOB AND WALK. INSTEAD OF TAKING THE ELEVATOR, TAKE THE STAIRS. THE MORE U START TO BE MOBILE THE MORE ENERGY YOU HAVE AND THE BETTER YOU START TO FEEL EMOTIONALLY AS WELL. I AM HERE FOR YOU AS EVERYONE ELSE IS AS WELL. USE US THAT IS WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. YOU HAVE EMBARKED ON A WONDERFUL SITE. I SUFFER FROM SCIATICA BUT I WORK THROUGH THE PAIN AND THE OTHER DAY I HAD SO MUCH ENERGY, I WAS BOUNCING IN MY AEROBICS CLASS LIKE I WAS 100 POUNDS. I WISH THE BEST FOR YOU IN THIS STRUGGLE, WE ARE ALL IN IT TOGETHER LETS DEAL WITH IT TOGETHER. ADD ME.

Goal_Seeker_1988

I would be lookin for a different job. That much lack of sleep is no good for your heart health. You will just continue to be drained and lacked of energy.

Shishkeberry

I think you should stop watching your grandson if you're only able to do it half heartedly. I wouldn't want my son to stay in that environment. No offense, but you're not doing him any favors by trying to do more than what you are capable.

Jill_newimprovedversion

If you want some good advice, would you consider making your diary public- and post another question- asking for some insight that way- perhaps one of the keys lies in what you ARE or ARE NOT eating?

The fact that you say in your profile that you're on the millionth diet makes me wonder if you couldn't use some
guidance in that area???

I know for myself, that I consumed a lot of my calories on sugars and carbs, and empty calories- the sugar highs/lows/crashes
weren't much different than someone going on a drinking binge.

Just a thought, since you asked for help.......

And I hear your heart, my friend.

jenbusick

Shift work is hard. It just is. Unless you're a natural night owl, it's very difficult. In my line of work, I write a lot about shift work and coping mechanisms, so I'm going to give you a few links that you can look at for some advice.

Ideally, finding a job with a day or evening schedule may be your best solution -- but perhaps you work third shift so that someone will be there for your grandson, in which case you'll be under a lot of pressure from yourself to make this work.

One thing you MUST do is find a block of time for sleeping. You can do it right when you get home, from, say, 9am-4pm (that's 7 hours), or right before you go to work, from, say, 2pm-9pm (again, seven hours). It may mean getting someone to watch your grandson so you can sleep during those hours, but even if you have to do that, you may be able to work it so that you need someone less than full time -- for example, if you sleep from 2-9, that means you're with your grandson through lunch time, and you need a sitter for about 4.5 hours each day until your daughter gets home from work.

Things that help shift workers: You need a dark, quiet place to sleep. Room darkening shades, some kind of white noise.

Good nutrition really, really matters. Shift workers can't get away with the sorts of junk food the rest of us sometimes eat, your body is too desperate for the nutrition. Pack yourself the healthiest meals and snacks you can.

Avoid caffeine and alcohol within 3-4 hours of when you expect to be sleeping.

Let me give you some links to health and safety information for shift workers:

This is on rotational shift work, but there's good advice near the bottom: http://www.ccohs.ca/oshanswers/ergonomics/shiftwrk.html#_1_12

These folks have lots of great sleep resources: http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/sleep-topics/shift-work-and-sleep

Scroll down this page to find useful links: http://www.cdc.gov/niosh/topics/workschedules/

I wish you well; it may be that if you can find 2 or 3 strategies that will work, you can make this thing work for you. Good luck!

arabella66

After reading everyone's comments, I realized a little more insight would be helpful.I live in a college town and it is, I have discovered, a pretty expensive place to live; especially when both paychecks are minimum wage. Like most people, we live paycheck to paycheck. We have just basic bills, mortgage, lot rent (including water, garbage & sewer), car insurance, home insurance, electricity, internet (needed since I do online schooling), etc. My mortgage and lot rent combined is cheaper than apartments. Unless you want to share housing with rodents and bugs, the cheapest apartment (and this is still on the down side) is $1050. And thats for a 2 bedroom. Daycares in the town just for part time are almost $400 a month. Financially we can't afford daycare.
When I was done reeling from new levels of guilt (after reading one person's response) I spent an hour crying and now feel like a crappy grandparent.
As for work, someone mentioned parking 5-10 blocks away from my job, while it's nice in theory, at 10:45 pm, unless I have a rottweiler and a shotgun, that won't be happening. I do, however take the stairs instead of the elevator (severely claustrophic).
Another lady brought eating patterns, etc. I will be the first one to say yes, I need help there too. It's not usually the bad foods (though I do cave once in awhile), it's more the right foods in the wrong quanity and the fact that I skip meals.
For the ladies who say a new job is in order: I agree. I have been actively looking for the past 6 months.
I have a game plan. I need to put it down on paper and see if it realisitic. I started yesterday (7/11/11) I will post when I have it complete.
Thanks again for the advice, suggestions and website links.

jenbusick

{hugs} some of that emotion is probably exhaustion, hon. You're doing the best you can, and trying to do better. There's no shame in that.

Fingers crossed for you on the job front!

deewildwoman

I hear you about the cost of daycare. It is just absurdly high to put a child in daycare. Just a suggestion, if you are open to it. Have you looked around the local churches in your area. I know a lot of them run a "Mothers Day Out" or "Parents Day Out" program in my area. It is not a solution for everyday, as most only run it for 1 or 2 days a week. If they do have one though, they are free, and most that I have seen do not require that you be a member of the church. At least for a day or two a week you might be able to get some uninerrupted sleep. It might go a long way towards helping with the constant feeling of being tired. Who knows, your grandson might really enjoy getting together with other kids to play a couple of times a week as well...WIN/WIN.

Good luck. I know that working nights is extremely difficult.

arabella66

I just wanted to update everyone. After reading some of the posts I got from my original posting, I dropped into a very deep severe depression. I quit coming in here and pretty much quit caring. Not the best thing to do, I know. It has taken awhile to adjust, but my grandson is now in kindergarten and goes to an after school program run by the boys and girls club. I now go to bed around 7:30 am, sleep until about 1, get up and do homework, etc. I will be working in my workouts during this time as well and go back to bed at 6 until 9pm. I set up a meal plan, but rather than having breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner I have meal 1, snack 1, meal 2, snack 2, etc. I eat at 7:00a, 12noon, 3:30p, 6:30p, 9:30p, and 2 am. THis seems to be working for me so far. I am more aware of what I am eating and how I am feeling. I am going to start writing down everything faithfully, good and bad. I am feeling more optimistic right now and even considering doing a video diary to help keep me accountable.